Since Glenn is retelling some of his unfortunate, yet funny language mishaps, I thought I could share a couple of mine as well.
One time we were having lunch at some friends house on a winter day. People are paranoid about the cold here, thinking that any slight breeze or chill will cause instant sickness, so they keep their homes rather on the toasty side. After a long afternoon of drinking copious amounts of HOT tea and sitting in a 10X10room with 12 other people I was stuffy and uncomfortably hot. Im sure that being 6 months pregnant didnt help the situation either. As we prepared to leave, and everyone was getting their coats on, our host held mine up for me. I politely refused saying, Oh, no thanks. Im hot.
Total silence.
Those uncomfortable darting glances from one to another.
The telltale snickers of some horrible language botch job.
Did I mention that these people were of the very most conservative of Russian Baptists around? Head coverings, no TV, long skirts for the women types of folks.
Finally, I couldnt stand it any longer! I had to ask what I had done.
By now, we knew each other pretty well, and it wouldnt be too big of a deal, right? Red faced and sputtering, the lady of the home gently explained that I had just announced to the entire group that I WAS HORNY!!!
To say you are uncomfortably warm you need to use an entirely different grammar all together!
How about this one??
One time, we were having lunch in a fast food like café, and were getting ready to leave. I had paid, but our server didnt see that I had gone up to the register myself and settled the bill. We all got up and started out, and 3 waitresses came over and confronted me about paying. I was so flustered that instead of saying too-lye-dum- I paid, I said, too-dum. (slightly different vowel sounds on the front end, but I cant write it right using English characters)
Big difference!!
I just spat out, for everyone to hear, I already gave birth!
Speaking of giving birth, I have to share my own funniest birthing story EVER!
I had gone to Thailand to have my 5th child, as the medical care here is nil. All of my other kids had come into the world ahead of schedule, so getting out was pretty important. Anyway, I was in the middle of the whole pushing process, and just as Anara crowned, my sweeter than apple pie Thai doctor turns white with terror! Oh my God! she says, Its BREECH!
So what does that mean? I ask.
Hold on, let me think, she quickly answers.
Im thinking that an emergency C-Section is eminent, but she sat for a moment, apparently deep in contemplation. After about 30 seconds, which any laboring woman will tell may as well be about 400 years, she starts laughing. Not just chuckling, but full on snort laughing.
After she composes herself, she says to me, Ohhhh, I am very sorry! Thai babies have more hair!!!
to Tangierine Cafe
I think everyone would agree, though, that Mandarin is the toughest the world to learn. Makes Russian seem like a piece of cake, from what I hear. At least you tried; that's what counts. We were always told in language classes- You can't learn a language without making a million mistakes first.
Maybe Mel chuckled enough for it to be a water breaker too. 
