OK, I’ve caught up enough to consider proper amounts of actual commentary.
Hummm…
That’s the second time today I’ve made a rather vicious threat.
Someone probably should report me to the proper authorities.
(or at least to the improper ones).
Yes, I know… total uncalled for…
(and if no one calls for it in the next two week, then it’s all yours!)
Now, good manners and protocol in this situation would dictate that I pick up with the most recent chapter and then try to keep up from here on. But I’m not proper, so I’ll be starting with the second most recent chapter.
Why?
‘Cause I enjoy confusing folks, testing memories and I’m ornery that way, but more importantly…
I’m selfish (and that point will be making its self quite clear momentarily).
Chapter 8: The One With All That Jazz
Preceded by some suffering and a bit of deprivation.
But then again, that’s the kind of thing that led to the creation of Jazz, so it’s totally appropriate.
No rest for the weary! Our third day in a row featuring at least 5 hours of driving.
I’ll be doing several of those over the next few days (and for similar reasons).
We’ll see how I hold up.
This one would be broken up in the middle—two hours east to Vicksburg, Mississippi, and then another 3.5 hours south to New Orleans, Louisiana.
One place on my “List”….
And one that’s just about to get checked off.
(Although I s’pect that I’ll just become more enticed to return, so it’ll probably stay on the “List”
We tried one last time to get together with Lisa, but her court case was early in the morning and she just couldn’t squeeze any time in.
Sorry to hear that.
So we settled for a hearty wave as we drove by her hometown.
I can think of an instance later on in this narrative where you likely should have done something rather similar. It would likely have made a marked improvement on your experiences.
(or at least have saved you from encountering “Something Green” )
We crossed the Mississippi River once more and entered the city of Vicksburg, MS. It was here that I invoked Dad Privilege and
forced convinced the kids to visit a U.S. Civil War battlefield:
Vicksburg National Military Park.
And I am guilty of similar but far worse atrocities.
I’ve been known to “inflict” ships, forts and battlefields on my family on many occasions.
“Forced” my young’en to spend an overnight on an Aircraft Carrier, once.
Driven out of the way for boring fortifications, and inserted rides on ferries several times when the Interstate was clearly the better route.
Heck, I fully intend to force my bride to traps all over a naval behemoth as part of our upcoming Anniversary Road Trip (but I will make it up to her for the most part beforehand).
I had my reasons, though.
‘Cause it had to be done!
President Lincoln himself spoke of Vicksburg being the “key” to winning the war.
And was quite relieved to “have that key in his pocket” afterward.
The city was so well defended, it was tough sledding for the army of the North to make any progress in capturing it. After two failed assaults, Grant decided to dig in and lay siege to the city.
Supposedly, Grant’s contention was that if he couldn’t break them directly, then he’d “resolve to out-camp them” (apocryphal or not, I always like that bit of paraphrase).
Rumor had it he would be replaced if he failed to take Vicksburg.
Wouldn’t be the first time that was done either…
After 47 days, with all supplies cut off, General Pemberton of the South surrendered the city. Along with the Battle of Gettysburg, this marked the beginning of the end for the Confederate Army.
And to add insult to injury, both events officially concluded on the same day: July 4th.
The city of Vicksburg would bluntly refuse to allow any celebration of Independence Day for 81 years afterward (and is still grumbling under their breath about it to this day).
However, there was one stop we were definitely going to see: the wreck of the
U.S.S. Cairo.
Again…
Not this time (unfortunately); it’s on the “List” though (but I’m particularly weird that way)
We were stopping to see it because—well, it’s a restored gunboat. It’s the definition of awesome.
Yep…
That’s how it’s written up in my dictionary.
No one else in my family seems to be able read it that same way, but knowing that I am mentally deficient, they do choose to simply humor me on the point.
Odd that the Board’s editor program wouldn’t let me quote your definition directly.
Go figure…
You can even board the ship and walk around a bit. Or re-start the siege of Vicksburg, if you’d like. Cannonballs are 2 for $20 in the gift shop.
Scotty happens.
Drew chooses to fly “once more into the breach…”
Surprised that no one stuck their head into the barrel of one of those beasts, though…
Then we set out on the drive south to New Orleans.
And now we get to the part of the story where I need to pay a bit more attention.
Not much to tell you about on the drive. Don’t tell them I said this, but Mississippi isn’t the most exciting state to drive through.
Well, neither are the Carolinas or Georgia, depending on where you’re driving.
There lots of trees to look at along our interstates, but not much else unless you get on the “B-Roads”
I found a pay lot downtown near the waterfront, and we walked from there to the French Quarter along the Riverwalk, which borders the Mississippi.
Good first stop.
I’ll probably use the streetcar that runs the length of the river front in the Quarter some of the time (but I’m lazy and don’t have to come up with the fair for six people).
I get this.
Actually, it’s the one thing I’m not looking forward to on this trip….
dealing with the extremes.
And some of the general architecture we saw walking around:
Purty…
Enticing too.
I’ll let you what we think of the grub on offer in that particular spot when we get back home.
But, as we walked around, we also saw less appealing sights. A shirtless guy wearing a loin cloth, leg bare up to his hip. Another shirtless guy, in dress pants and suspenders with a porkpie hat, screaming obscenities into his cell phone. A panhandler begging for money, and then cursing out a lady who said no, following her down the street as she did so.
The dingy underbelly…
I’ll be carrying a camera, so there’s no way I won’t look like an ugly tourist and easy target. I’ll just have to keep an eye on things and be prepared to be at least verbally assaulted here and there.
Could I see things like this in any city? Probably. This is purely subjective. It just felt like a higher concentration of these guys here.
A bit like my experiences with New York City.
I survived those, so I’ll risk it here.
We made our way to the Old U.S. Mint building, which was the temporary home of the
New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park. And I do think it’s pretty cool that there’s actually a National Park dedicated to the history of jazz music.
Another potential destination for us, but only if they’re done with the renovations so thanks for the warning. If they are finished, I’ll let you know what changes they’ve made.
This stop was mostly for Julie, who is a pretty big jazz and big band fan. In fact, she's played both concert and jazz bass for years. Because she's awesome.
I’d say so…
Bass, huh?
So, does she prefer grovin’ the Dog-House or is she more of a ‘Lectric Lady?
(I was going to say there wasn’t much to get jazzed about, but then I decided that was terrible.
Well that was a close one!
Good thing that you didn’t actually say it, then.
This fills my #Dadjoke quota for the chapter.
+1
I admit that I have no idea who Pete Fountain is. But apparently he played clarinet.
Yes, yes he did.
I remember watching him sit in fairly regular back when Jonny Carson ran “The Tonight Show”
(but that sentence right there also reveals just how antiquated I truly am, now don’t it?)
The other big draw of New Orleans is, of course, the food. This is a premier destination for seafood, Creole dishes (mostly involving seafood), Po’Boy sandwiches (mostly involving seafood), and high-end gourmet cuisine.
I foresee a bit of a problem arising here…
You can visit Antoine’s, Austin’s, Arnaud’s, Galatoire’s, Commander’s Palace, Brennan’s, Meril, and so many more high-end restaurants in town—far too many to list.
The other side of that coin is that given that the bar is set that high, you can also drop into the 81st or even the 127th rated venue in town, and still be in a 4.5 star or better restaurant.
And of course, we are uncultured swine with an aversion to seafood, so we skipped all of those places and went to a pizza joint.
And I’d have been stunned otherwise.
But we still love y’all…
Oh, by the way…
Nearly all of these more “cultured” local spots, also serve burgers, barbeque and various other land critters as well. Just something to keep in mind if’n you ever go back
The sense of disappointment I feel coming through the computer screen from all of you is palpable, to say the least.
Can’t be any worse than the sense I get from nearly everyone just as a result of my existence.
Yep…
Ranked 100th in town and still rated at 4.5 stars.
That’s what I’m on ‘bout, here.
Can you believe my son would be a picky eater?
Nooooo…
Do tell…
Bet my son isn’t as pic…
Ummmmm…
Never mind.
We made our way back towards the riverfront and stopped to grab a table at the world-famous
Café Du Monde.
When I asked Tam to list the most important things I needed to make sure she gets to see in Nola, this held the number one spot, and after that, I was free to pick absolutely anything else.
(probably not a wise admission on her part)
That said, her second most important request isn’t possible anymore. Yes, there are still streetcars in Nola, but there is no longer one named “Desire”, so I can’t pull that one off precisely.
They seemed to be a big hit with the crowd. I mean, it’s fried dough and sugar. What’s not to like?
Hummm…
Let me see...
Nope, got nothing on that one.
Just don’t see the down side.
You could always add more stuff to ‘em the “Bad them up” a bit, but the foundation is pretty solid.
I was worried Sarah would try and hog them all to herself, so I subtly worked to move them out of her range.
Excellent Dading skills, there.
You’re only saving her from herself.
But it was more fun watching the effect of all that sugar on Drew.
Goes without saying
Or watching Julie pretend to smile at the effects of all that sugar on Drew.
Which is why it goes without saying.
No sense in giving her reason to haul off and slug you one (at least not just yet).
Don’t look now, but I see future memes with that photo.
And you say that they have these and Dole Whips at Disney World…
BOTH??!!!
With that, we took a leisurely evening stroll along the Riverwalk back towards the van. Along the way, we passed one of the famous riverboats—the Natchez, ready to take tourists for a ride down the river.
And sadly, yes…
I’m going to force my Missus to climb aboard that contraption as well.
(I anticipate I’ll have to suffer quite the beating for that atrocity, but it has to be done).
As we were walking back, we passed Jackson Square again, where a few locals were trying to hustle money from the tourists. One guy was hassling people to pay him after taking their photo for them. Another guy picked me out and told me he could tell me exactly where I bought my shoes from.
Yeah…
Like I said, that’s the bit I’m not looking forward to.
Scotty wanted no part of this conversation, so he hit the turbo boost and speed-walked ahead of me far down the path. If you’re taking notes, remember in the future that Scotty is not going to have your back in a fight.
Likely a good choice on his part…
And a handy bit of information to have for the next time Scotty and I find ourselves in a knife fight.
Well, that might not be true. But I know he won’t have MY back in a fight.
What son would…
Likely not mine ether, I’ll tell you that much.
And I think I got ripped off at the pump, but I can’t prove it. I was sure I pushed the button for the regular 87 octane gas, because that’s what I always do. But somehow I got charged for the premium. It’s possible I pushed the wrong button, but…
I’ve known places (some convenience stores in particular) to reverse or even randomize the order of the octane select buttons specifically trying to catch folks in this manner.
True story.
I got caught by that ploy once
Once.
Coming Up Next: Our kids’ first taste of the Gulf of Mexico.
A taste devoid of sea food, I’d wager…
And for any of you who have ever wondered how I’ve never been struck down by a lightning bolt after some of my comments, well…stay tuned.
Lightning?
You?
Thought never crossed my mind…
(but that’s mostly because I expect it to strike me before anyone else I could name.)
(well, nearly anyone else I could name).
**** Warning ****
Commentary about ships follows this marker.
Please save yourselves and stop reading immediately!!!
Huh! Not at all what i was expecting.
Was thinking more Monitor. Although it is closer to the Merrimack.
Actually…
It’s closer to the “Virginia” because there wasn’t a “Merrimack” in that fight.
OK, let me explain.
There was a “USS Merrimack”. It was a US Steam Frigate that was burned down to the waterline when the Federals abandoned the Norfolk Navy Yard at the start of the war. The CSN raised and used the remaining part of the hull as a base and built the iron covered casement on top of it, added a Ram Bow, and renamed it “CSS Virginia.”
But to your actual point, the casement type of iron clad was more common than the turreted verity (especially on the rivers) and the CSN only built that type.
(I know no one asked, but y’all hit one of my “subjects” so you’s gets unwanted commentary.)
(Oh, and I did warn you not to read any farther so, it’s all your own fault)
(So, stop reading already!)
Yeah, I'm not sure what made them vary the designs on these, but they all look a little different. The Monitor really is a weird-looking boat, but I can see the strategic value. It's almost like a submarine.
One sailor upon seeing “Monitor” for the first time said that it looked like a cheese box on a shingle.
The extreme differences had a bit to do with having to work with what knowledge, materials, experiences, and expertise just happened to be readily on hand when one was building the ship in question.
Actually it was the construction of the “Virginia” that prompted the building of the “Monitor” in the first place.
“Iron Clad” ships were not a new concept at the time and the notion of having numerous stationary guns in casements aimed by turning the ship itself was the standard for centuries. But when the USN got wind that the Confederates were building an iron clad ram from the remains of one their wrecks with very little freeboard and designed specifically to control the harbors and rivers, that’s when they decided to try something very radical. The “Monitor” took only 101 days to design and build. And more importantly (though we didn’t know it at the time or take advantage of it quite near soon enough) it’s one of three times in modern history when a single new naval ship made every other vessel afloat instantly obsolete at a single stroke. The reason had to do with that “cheese box”. Being able to train the weapons in any direction regardless of the orientation of the ship (and therefore also needing considerably fewer individual guns per ship) was revolutionary.
Yes! I always thought with that low profile it would have an advantage.
Except... easy to flood?
And that’s precisely what happened to the “Monitor” shortly after that faithful battle.
The low freeboard wasn’t the true advantage of the design in the first place, nor even was it as necessary as first thought. But again the USN would be a while before figuring that out and find themselves behind the curve for quite some time even on their own invention.
One of two of those three revolutions where we’d think of something “first” and get beat in its proper application (and we almost got beat the third time as well, but luckily, just not quite).
(And... just out of curiosity, are you surprised or not that a foreigner would know that?)
Not me…
Pretty sure that a great many “foreigners” know far more about American History, then the “typical” ‘Merican.
Oh and here’s some really old commentary that I thought I add to…
(like I said, just cause I’m ornery)
They did, but I believe he was eventually found innocent and cleared. I don't think they ever found the perpetrator.
Correct in that Jewell was ultimately cleared (and save for expediency, probably should never have been considered in the first place), but they actually did convict someone for the Olympic Park bombing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Rudolph
Now let’s see how long it takes me to actually comment on the current chapter.
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