Venting…dentist office stuff.

[clh2]

I went to the dentist today for some work (as opposed to a cleaning). I’m not fond of this office, been a patient for ~2 years, since our previous dentist retired. DH also goes to this dentist. For what it is worth, we are both on my insurance.

They got a new computer system recently. The receipt I got today clear listed DH as the account holder and our address in the header info.

i was merely listed as a patient. First name only. (DH and I have different last names.)

They gave me two different reasons why…1st was-oh, you must be on your husband’s insurance. Umm No, we are on my insurance. The other explanation they gave me was my DH is considered by them to be the head of the household. This explanation did not fly with me either, as this is 2022, not 1952..

I asked then about having a separate account, and…that is harder for us to handle, since both of us are on the same insurance.

Might be time for a different dentist. I’m not overly happy about staying, but finding a new dentist is also frustrating.

thanks for listening to me vent!

 

[TAX GUY]

Not sure what the big deal is. Listing your husband first isn't a jab at you, just their in house practice. We do the same in our office (CPA firm). We typically list husband first (as taxpayer) and wife second (spouse). It's not because we are trying to insult women, but our internal practice is that way, and has been that way. When we all look at documents and returns, "taxpayer" will be associated with hubby's docs. It means nothing to anyone other than within our office.

Your rant comes off as more of a reason on why you want to switch dentists, which if that's the case, just switch.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I left mine a few years ago and it was a good move. Good luck!

 

[Suz333]

I think that office deserves to be asked a lot of annoying (for them) questions.

(1) I should be listed as primary - how long will it take you to correct your records?

(2) What do you mean you always list the husband as head of household? What do you do if there’s a single mom with barely adult children? Are you listing the 19 year old son as head? For that matter, what if there’s a couple comprised of two wives or two husbands? What do you input in the computer then?

(3) Is this a computer software issue, or a personal choice? Is this choice made by you or the dentist? Have you contacted the software company about how to use it properly?

and if all else fails….
(4) isn’t it against procedure to fail to maintain proper medical records ? Your antiquated views about who to list first mean you don’t have my correct name in your records.

 

[Suz333]

Not sure what the big deal is. Listing your husband first isn't a jab at you, just their in house practice. We do the same in our office (CPA firm). We typically list husband first (as taxpayer) and wife second (spouse). It's not because we are trying to insult women, but our internal practice is that way, and has been that way. When we all look at documents and returns, "taxpayer" will be associated with hubby's docs. It means nothing to anyone other than within our office.

Your rant comes off as more of a reason on why you want to switch dentists, which if that's the case, just switch.

Stop perpetuating the problem. For future clients, ask if they have a preference, or at least ask their filing history, before just deciding “we’re going to list the man first”. Sure, they may frequently list the guy 1st, but it should be THEIR choice, not yours. If your office can’t handle the record keeping if a wife is listed 1st, how on earth do you keep up with the tax code?

 

[TAX GUY]

Stop perpetuating the problem. For future clients, ask if they have a preference, or at least ask their filing history, before just deciding “we’re going to list the man first”. Sure, they may frequently list the guy 1st, but it should be THEIR choice, not yours. If your office can’t handle the record keeping if a wife is listed 1st, how on earth do you keep up with the tax code?

Ok, sure. Should we also ask them what they prefer to report as income and/or deductions? C'mon, who is listed first is hardly an issue, anywhere. FWIW, we're on my wife's insurance, and she's listed first, and I couldn't care less. She also earns more than I do, therefore she's technically the "higher taxpayer" but guess what, I'm listed first on the tax return! Doesn't seem to bother her at all.

I can just imagine the looks I'd get asking a client, if they have a preference who is listed first and who is second

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Not sure what the big deal is. Listing your husband first isn't a jab at you, just their in house practice. We do the same in our office (CPA firm). We typically list husband first (as taxpayer) and wife second (spouse). It's not because we are trying to insult women, but our internal practice is that way, and has been that way. When we all look at documents and returns, "taxpayer" will be associated with hubby's docs. It means nothing to anyone other than within our office.

Your rant comes off as more of a reason on why you want to switch dentists, which if that's the case, just switch.

Why is your CPA office still doing this? Shouldn't you be asking your clients their preferred way? Your internal practice sounds like a weird excuse. And sexist. And presumptuous. And discriminatory. How hard is it to adopt a practice of asking rather than assuming?

 

[DVCjj]

clht:
I TOTALLY understand. After being married for 57 years and have always done 100% of any and all financial or serious decisions, I got so sick and tired of having DH's name first on each and every thing. We both worked full time for years. He wanted me to handle all categories of financial, stocks, etc. etc. etc. He is extremely handy with everything else. It has worked for us.

When I bought DVC, he didn't even know what it was and said he would sign anything (as I said, he wants nothing to do with bills, savings, etc. etc. as "I trust you implicitly"). We bought 5 contracts/2 memberships. He simply signed his name and could care less what it said. Disney, of course, put his name first on every one. I called my Guide and said if these names aren't reversed, I will cancel the contracts. Done in 30 minutes.

At a new State Farm agency (old rep dropped dead suddenly after with him for 50 years), I wanted my new car covered due to someone running into us and totaling the car. Sure enough, DH name is first. I told new agent it is still Joint but I want MY name on MY car to be first. I realize at my age it's stupid and emotional but I just can't stand it anymore.

I would change dentists. Go on your Next Door App and get dentist recommendations in your area.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Op if you want to switch switch but you could ask them to flip the head of household to you since it's your insurance being used. If they refuse then by all means walk away and find a dentist that goes over the profile account with you before setting it up.

 

[fla4fun]

The only thing that would concern me is that she said they have different last names and her last name is not in the system. If the insurance is in her full name as primary insured, there might be issues with delays matching up the insurance records and the patient records. I think they should include the full names of all patients in their system for that reason, especially since it is not unusual to even have a third last name for dependent children.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I can just imagine the looks I'd get asking a client, if they have a preference who is listed first and who is second

They may change their tune if you told them your office always lists the man as taxpayer and woman as spouse.

Your other comments belie your shrugging attitude about your own marital arrangement.

 

[TAX GUY]

Why is your CPA office still doing this? Shouldn't you be asking your clients their preferred way? Your internal practice sounds like a weird excuse. And sexist. And presumptuous. And discriminatory. How hard is it to adopt a practice of asking rather than assuming?

Because who is listed first/second has no bearing and doesn't matter, that's why.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Because who is listed first/second has no bearing and doesn't matter, that's why.

Then it shouldn't be a burden to ask. There is a reason the office set it up in the first place...sexist attitudes. And there's a reason why despite "it doesn't matter" your office hasn't adopted a policy of asking the clients how they would like that because 2 seconds of time isn't worth it to your place of employment. It reeks of "good 'ol boys club" mentality and something tells me that how office culture is at your place of employment.

 

[Suz333]

Because who is listed first/second has no bearing and doesn't matter, that's why.

Oh good, then there should be no problem with leaving this up to your clients, and not your (patriarchal/misogynisti/outdated/lazy/just never stopped to think about it) current practice.

Please note: those are just potential adjectives and I’m not saying that any of them apply to you, much lest all of them. But I do think at least that the last one might apply, so that’s why I keep replying- to ask you to think about it.

 

[PezRuth]

Ok, sure. Should we also ask them what they prefer to report as income and/or deductions? C'mon, who is listed first is hardly an issue, anywhere. FWIW, we're on my wife's insurance, and she's listed first, and I couldn't care less. She also earns more than I do, therefore she's technically the "higher taxpayer" but guess what, I'm listed first on the tax return! Doesn't seem to bother her at all.

I can just imagine the looks I'd get asking a client, if they have a preference who is listed first and who is second

You would get my business if you asked me that question. You should be asking that question. It should not just be assumed that it is the husband. And it does matter to many people. If it is a same sex couple how do you determine who is listed first I am going to assume you ask.

 

[TAX GUY]

Then it shouldn't be a burden to ask. There is a reason the office set it up in the first place...sexist attitudes. And there's a reason why despite "it doesn't matter" your office hasn't adopted a policy of asking the clients how they would like that because 2 seconds of time isn't worth it to your place of employment. It reeks of "good 'ol boys club" mentality and something tells me that how office culture is at your place of employment.

You got all that, from a few sentences in a couple of replies? OK

This office is split evenly, males and females. The females do it the same way too, and have no issues about it (believe it or not, some existing clients that are female and were clients here before they married, are listed first as the taxpayer and their husbands second as the spouse). The females in the office will have comments about bring tripped up because, wait for it...... the female was listed as the taxpayer!


Back to the OP, best of luck finding that new DDS.

 

[TAX GUY]

Oh good, then there should be no problem with leaving this up to your clients, and not your (patriarchal/misogynisti/outdated/lazy/just never stopped to think about it) current practice.

Please note: those are just potential adjectives and I’m not saying that any of them apply to you, much lest all of them. But I do think at least that the last one might apply, so that’s why I keep replying- to ask you to think about it.

Are those personal attacks? Because they come across as personal attacks. Just because you say they aren't, doesn't mean they aren't. Pretty sure personal attacks are a big no-no on the DIS.

 

[TCRAIG]

Ok, sure. Should we also ask them what they prefer to report as income and/or deductions? C'mon, who is listed first is hardly an issue, anywhere. FWIW, we're on my wife's insurance, and she's listed first, and I couldn't care less. She also earns more than I do, therefore she's technically the "higher taxpayer" but guess what, I'm listed first on the tax return! Doesn't seem to bother her at all.

I can just imagine the looks I'd get asking a client, if they have a preference who is listed first and who is second

If I was your client - I would expect to be asked how we want our names listed/spelled/etc. I would consider anything else to be unprofessional.

 

[tvguy]

My dad died when I was 9 and one thing my mom taught me growing up was how important it was for BOTH spouses to be on every account everywhere. Never thought about who was "primary", just that for credit report purposes that both were on the account. Although, my mom did have a huge issue with the Natural Gas company taking my dad's name off the account. Certainly times were different in 1967, but it took mom 30 years to get dad's name dropped!
Looking now, it appears about half the accounts my wife is primary, and half I am.

I am primary with our CPA, likely because I was a client long before my wife and I got married. Makes zero difference to us who is listed as Taxpayer and who is listed as Spouse since the tax rate is the same.
Our Dentist bills us based on who had the work done. Been with Dentist about 10 years and we have always had double coverage. So whomever had the Dental work, THEIR coverage is billed first, and then the other's coverage is billed any unpaid balance.
My wife is primary on our electric bill, likely because she had the account before we got married.
I am primary on everything to do with my wife's car.
My wife is primary on everything to do with my car.

 

[Suz333]

Are those personal attacks? Because they come across as personal attacks. Just because you say they aren't, doesn't mean they aren't. Pretty sure personal attacks are a big no-no on the DIS.

They really aren’t but I apologize.

I was happy to see your statement about keeping your existing client as primary. It would be nice if you afford new clients a choice in the future.

I’m not surprised your female coworkers get tripped up - habits are hard to change for everyone, and most of us have been brought up in a world that lists men first. Example: in movies the clergy used to say, “I pronounce you man and wife”. We’ve progressed to “husband and wife”, but think how odd it would sound to our ears to hear “wife and husband.” Isn’t it sad that its so ingrained in us to list the man 1st that a simple reordering of three words would sound bizarre?