A Grand Tour of The Entire Midwest, But Mostly Wisconsin (UPDATE 11/12--BONUS Texas TR NOW COMPLETE)

Have seen 'em...
Interesting, but once will do.

Yeah, I'd agree with that.

Oh, my friends! I'm so pleased you're not dead!

I don't know, I'm making this up as I go.

Pretty sure you you have actually run across Joshua Trees before.
Now, good roads to go with them...
That's a different story.

Have seen 'em...
Interesting, but once will do.

The all barter economy may well be nearer the horizon than we'd like to think.

Honestly, everyone needs to chill. We have nothing to worry about.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...thought-could-wipe-out-life-planet/757337001/

It's is his only defense at this stage.
My young'en used that ploy to his great advantage.

It's an effective mechanism, I'll give them that.

I ain't so sure 'bout that.
listening to the talk that is now both open and common around where I live...
The only take away is that nothing has changed since I was a young'en myself.
Not... One... Thing...

It's been a lot longer than that, according to King Solomon:

What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

I never actually said that.

Your thoughts were leaking again.

Well... that's half the battle...

Maybe I'll have time tomorrow. That's my new motto.
 
Honestly, everyone needs to chill. We have nothing to worry about.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...thought-could-wipe-out-life-planet/757337001/
Saw a write up on that a couple weeks ago; interesting research.
Honestly though, that doesn't worry me near as much as what I know "good" people to be capable of.


there is nothing new under the sun.
And having seen all of this not new stuff before...
I find I'm not calmed by the prospect.
 
I was gonna get a new motto.... but I put it off.

Top 10 Reasons To Procrastinate:
1.

Saw a write up on that a couple weeks ago; interesting research.
Honestly though, that doesn't worry me near as much as what I know "good" people to be capable of.

And having seen all of this not new stuff before...
I find I'm not calmed by the prospect.

A few more good words of wisdom, then:

There is no one righteous...no, not one.
 
Bonus Chapter 5:They’ll Never Think To Look For Us Here.


Where was I?


Oh, yeah. Texas. Miles from all civilization. And we needed a place to spend the night. A place to lie low and avoid whatever desperadoes might be out there. A hideout, if you will.


Thankfully, just a few miles down the road was the Lajitas Golf Resort. Formerly known as The Hideout at Lajitas (which is a much, much cooler name), the town was originally bought by a millionaire at an auction in 2000. He sought to create an exclusive resort for the rich, but despite pouring over $100 million into the property, he couldn’t attract enough people willing to pay the membership fees and ultimately declared bankruptcy. Another developer bought the resort in 2007 and started slashing prices to try and attract more guests.


Did it work? I have no idea. I mean, the resort is still there. It consists of several sections of gorgeously-appointed hotel rooms, a nice sit-down restaurant, and a world-class golf course. But during the 2 nights we were there, I could have counted the number of other guests I saw on one hand. Several of the shops/guest areas were only intermittently open. I don’t know if it was off-season, or even if they have a high season. But it sure was great to have such a nice place all to ourselves.


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We were given a second-floor room with a balcony in this row. We fell in love with the resort fairly quickly. If Disney ever built an Old West-style resort (which is not a terrible idea in the least, and I expect royalties if this happens), I imagine it would look an awful lot like this one.


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I don’t seem to have photos of our room, so bad job by me. Admit it, you’re used to that by now. Anyway, suffice it to say they were very nice.


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Our entire Tuesday was going to be spent enjoying the outdoor activities at Lajitas. My parents usually give our kids little day trips as gifts for their birthdays (thankfully acknowledging that we don’t need any more noisy toys in the house). So this year, they offered the kids each their choice of one of the activities the resort offered: a float trip on the Rio Grande, horseback riding, or a zip line.


Sarah, being our resident daredevil, considered the question for approximately 1.71 milliseconds before she leaped at the chance to do a zip line. She’s long wanted to try one, and was thrilled to finally have the chance to soar over desert canyons while hanging from a thin cable. David had never been horseback riding in his life, so he wanted to cross that off his bucket list. Scott waffled a bit before finally deciding to try the float trip. We had to figure out the logistics of the day since someone needed to watch Drew at all times. Julie wanted to do the float trip with Scott so she could take pictures of the canyon from the water’s surface. My dad offered to go horseback riding in the afternoon with Dave, while I had taken maybe half a millisecond longer than Sarah to call dibs on the zip line.


During our previous day in Big Bend, my parents had called the resort to schedule reservations for all of these activities. That was right about when the plans fell apart.


Turns out, the zip line wasn’t accepting reservations until Thursday, when we’d be long gone. We learned later that the zip line was only open a couple of days a week. Immediately, Sarah and I were extremely bummed to miss out on our chance to impersonate Batman.


So, with some scrambling, we set up the float trip for Sarah, Julie and Scott in the morning, and Dave, my parents and I would go out horseback riding in the afternoon.


In the morning, we wandered around the resort a bit.


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I thought these wagon wheel chairs were kinda cool.

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Julie, Sarah and Scott were picked up by the adventure guide in a van. The water was too low in the Rio Grande for rafts, so they’d have to go by canoe. We saw them off, and then Drew went off with my mother. Meanwhile, my father wasn’t going to take it easy on us. He had decided to build our character by taking David and me out on a hike. Not far from the resort was a trailhead that would lead us into the western edge of Big Bend National Park—the Mesa De Anguila Trail.


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It was about 85 degrees or so at 8:30 in the morning. But hey, it was a dry heat.


The first part of the trail was easy. It was fairly flat, and we had to cross the golf course while resisting the urge to yell, “Fore!” or steal golf balls on the way. Eventually we reached the edge of the park border, and that’s when the trail changed. We were heading up to the top of this:


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The trail went straight up through the gap in between the ridges. And when I say straight up, that’s pretty much what it felt like. Here’s the view looking back from the mesa. The resort is in the left-center of the photo, and you can see some of the golf course as well.


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It didn’t help matters when my dad informed me that someone had been killed by a cougar on this trail several months earlier. I started looking for any sign of a cave with bones scattered around its mouth.


Thankfully, there was a payoff at the top of the ridge. The mesa afforded a beautiful view of a horseshoe bend in the Rio Grande. As it flows to the east (left in this photo), it forms Santa Elena Canyon, which we’d seen the day before.


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And no, we couldn’t see anyone in canoes below.

My father asked me to take a photo of him with his grandson, so I took his phone, and then climbed up the mesa a bit to get a good angle. I was too high, so I crouched down, taking my best care to artfully compose the shot and do my best Ansel Adams impersonation.

That's when I sat on a cactus.

And they say white men can't jump.

Anyway, I got the needle out of my butt and took a crappy photo, and we moved on with our day.

After enjoying the view for a bit, we descended the trail, found our van, and headed straight for the general store to buy the biggest bottles of cold, overpriced Gatorade we could find. We met up with everyone else and traded stories about our morning adventures over a gourmet lunch of baked leavened dough garnished with nut and berry spreads. Those who went on the canoe trip seemed to have a great time, but I have no photos to share because Julie was afraid to take the camera on a canoe (not without reason) and even now, six months later, I have yet to see the kids’ GoPro shots. But I’m sure they’re great.


After lunch, Julie took charge of the kids and I went with my parents and Dave to go horseback riding. We drove to a pen a few miles west of the resort and found a little shack that was completely deserted. The previous riders hadn’t returned yet. That gave us a chance to assess the heat. It was well into the 90’s now, approaching 100 degrees, and we were required to wear long pants to go riding. We’d loaded up on water bottles for the ride, but there was no getting around the fact that it would be a scorcher.


The previous riding party returned, a fairly large group, and we waited while the guides took care of their guests and horses. Then the four of us got saddled up for a private ride through the Big Bend wilderness. It wasn’t private because we’d paid extra for the experience. It was private because no one else was stupid enough to ride during the hottest part of the day.


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We had two guides, a woman named Jess and an Englishman named…uh…something. I’ll call him English Bob. He was indeed originally from Great Britain, but had fallen in love with the cowboy way of life somewhere along the way.


I felt bad for the horses, They’d just come back from carrying people up and down a steep mountain in the heat, and now they were being made to do it all over again. I made a mental note to give the horses a nice tip at the end.


There wasn’t much to the riding. It wasn’t my first time, but it’s just a matter of working to keep your balance. Lean back when they go downhill and forward when they go up. Dave, for his part, really enjoyed his first ride.


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My horse was named Duncan, and I learned along the way that he was a bit of a jerk. (Insert joke about horses being match up with their riders here.) He wasn’t a big fan of following anybody, so he was constantly trying to ride up on top of the horse in front of me. When we reached the top of the mesa, the guide arranged us in a nice row for a family photo.


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Duncan seemed to feel like my dad’s horse was crowding on his territory, though, so he started moving sideways to try and bump the offending horse out of the way.


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Then, as we rested to enjoy the view and some water, he kept creeping over towards this cliff. I can only assume he was thinking of seeing how long it would take me to hit the bottom.


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I kept pulling back on the reins and finally the guide got us back in line. Duncan reluctantly followed the group back down the mountain.


Another random observation: ever heard the phrase, "I have to pee like a racehorse."? Well, that phrase exists for a reason. :eek: These horses must have bladders the size of an inflatable kiddie pool.


As always, you can't get this kind of crackerjack trip reporting anywhere else.


All told, it took about an hour and despite the heat, it was worth it just to give Dave the experience. I still would have rather done the zip line, though. I'm pretty sure there are fewer psychotic horses on the zip line.


Meanwhile, Julie and the kids had explored the resort and found the little-known Texas Longhorn museum inside the golf pro shop. They had mounted some of the longest horns from longhorn cattle all over the walls of the shop.


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We were tired from the heat and didn’t feel like driving anywhere, so we decided to have dinner at the resort’s restaurant, the Candelilla Café. We had figured that if we were going to be in Texas, we should probably load up on either Tex-Mex or BBQ, so this fit the former part of the equation perfectly. It had a nice outdoor seating area near a fountain that seemed like a good place to enjoy the evening.


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The food was very good. Julie and I both ended up ordering the same thing—pork tacos. We also split an order of onion rings, because onion rings. Everything was delicious, except for the refried beans, because refried beans are uniformly nasty (no matter how good they are for your heart).


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As we left the restaurant and lazily wandered around the resort, we managed to catch this glimpse of my parents walking ahead of us:


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Later that night, we went out with the idea of doing some star gazing as the night skies were supposed to be incredibly dark. We were hoping to have a repeat of our experience in Bryce Canyon a couple of years ago, when we saw multiple shooting stars and the Milky Way. But this time some clouds rolled in, and we didn’t get much of a view at all. So we packed it in and went to bed for the evening.


Overall, we thought the resort was great. Nicely kept, great amenities, and a beautiful location (if remote). I can certainly understand why my parents like to escape here every so often. I just wish I knew how the place manages to stay in business. But in any case, it’s a great getaway while it lasts!


I’m going to skip ahead a day in the trip now because the following day was a long, all-day drive from Big Bend to San Antonio. There’s really not much to tell for that one. We stopped at the National Park visitor center in the morning to finish up Drew’s Junior Ranger badge, and then drove. And drove. And drove. In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, Texas is big.


We stopped at a McDonald’s for lunch to break up the drive and then we drove. And drove. And drove.


Eventually, we made it to San Antonio. We stopped at a store called Cavender’s Boot City because Julie had decided that she wanted genuine cowgirl boots as her souvenir from Texas. I told her that was way too expensive, and that she should just get a refrigerator magnet or something. But, after getting a reprimand from the Budget Committee, we went to the store and she picked out a pair of boots that she will pretend to be surprised about when Christmas morning rolls around.


More importantly, Scotty picked out his souvenir, too. And Scotty and Drew happened.


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Somehow, we all made it out of there without sequined shirts.

The only other item of note is that we stopped for our first authentic Texas BBQ dinner. Since I basically view life’s necessities as air, water, and BBQ, I could never resist the siren call of Texas beef brisket any more than I could resist a Dole Whip float on a hot summer day. I’d researched the Texas Monthly ranking of the 50 best BBQ joints in the state and tried to plan a few stops along the way as best as I could. Our first stop was a place in San Antonio called the Smoke Shack*.


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*--note: at the time of our trip, this place was on the 50 Best list, last published in 2013. Texas Monthly updated their list in summer 2017, and the Smoke Shack no longer appears.


I was probably as excited about eating barbecue as Julie was about getting cowboy boots. And the Smoke Shack didn’t disappoint. We spilt some 2-meat trays and tried the beef brisket and pulled pork, and both were excellent. The meat just melted in our mouths. The pitmaster came around asking everyone if they were happy, and even gave me a free sample of his peach cobbler for dessert. Thumbs up all around.


QesTlzVEWDB4wS7rWYlIsRARi_RQJRc4ei4NkBN9lOS-pR0_SELBbS6aBD1IMY_TDQ0IgYHbsIzdGBasagsEZ-FJVETaQt-mwrFuqAI2I76G2PfLoEIMXRUfQVgdYzH6NB5qRRxbo757o4V8ca7-Y1ssFZg2i_2Zdhs9Tj078PqJBXLwV5bleS7j-fwwtLWxn30wB5QkskgXC3ibgHCb7kCX0a2sHXRTYBGqmfDKBcUtV5unIYDXGK1vT-SQfA-Jvvv74L6hkf_nY3aF64pxuQW_tn7oTzvwsz3Oec5Bcpw8pEewCqbNv2qdvgo6isXX3XIXkdXMFhUylQ7Mwqs1FW_IFwvLSahYOk9t0X2MZZGLen7Yjhxn-xLYqOuIpLbNHPb_CcIUpeXXU9mhzNpuCKxxeyg83IIGn5pJLQwv75FqO_pMPu2TqRHzacXnU6DPKb1Bm9mjSfKSN9KikddYhQKFLN8JNFEyGmDEXiteW3uw3KcpuGAGCOaZsingaGkMWxP9NV8gxYjwRt7z8-CiVF7N2ByG466f53vlkIgBzmhN-wwHdMqdddHPJSym0eJ1QFKD3ccU0418H_5hOTfBW3QRBHvcjMRDRKVn6CG-Hw=w1240-h827-no



Coming Up Next: Your Mission, should you choose to accept it. Actually, 2 or 3 of them.
 
Last edited:


Bonus Chapter 5:They’ll Never Think To Look For Us Here.

Who's looking?

A place to lie low and avoid whatever desperadoes might be out there.

Ah. Asked and answered.

Formerly known as The Hideout at Lajitas (which is a much, much cooler name),

Agreed.

he couldn’t attract enough people willing to pay the membership fees and ultimately declared bankruptcy.

Whereupon he decided the only thing to do to save himself is marry Kim Basinger.

Another developer bought the resort in 2007 and started slashing prices to try and attract more guests.

Smarter move.

But during the 2 nights we were there, I could have counted the number of other guests I saw on one hand.

Good for you!
Given enough practice, we'll have you up to two hands in no time!


I like it. And that sky is gorgeous.

If Disney ever built an Old West-style resort (which is not a terrible idea in the least, and I expect royalties if this happens),

Reasonable request.

Won't happen... but reasonable.

I don’t seem to have photos of our room, so bad job by me.

But... it's a TR requirement!

I'm surprised you haven't been banned.

So this year, they offered the kids each their choice of one of the activities the resort offered: a float trip on the Rio Grande, horseback riding, or a zip line.

Nice!

Sarah, being our resident daredevil, considered the question for approximately 1.71 milliseconds before she leaped at the chance to do a zip line. She’s long wanted to try one, and was thrilled to finally have the chance to soar over desert canyons while hanging from a thin cable. David had never been horseback riding in his life, so he wanted to cross that off his bucket list. Scott waffled a bit before finally deciding to try the float trip.

I find it interesting that they all chose something different from each other.

That was right about when the plans fell apart.

Oh. Crap.

Turns out, the zip line wasn’t accepting reservations until Thursday, when we’d be long gone. We learned later that the zip line was only open a couple of days a week. Immediately, Sarah and I were extremely bummed to miss out on our chance to impersonate Batman.

Capes and all.

I thought these wagon wheel chairs were kinda cool.

They are!

The water was too low in the Rio Grande for rafts, so they’d have to go by canoe.

Hmmm...

I'm a bit torn by that.
On the one hand.... you want to go rafting and can't. On the other hand, I really like canoeing.

It was about 85 degrees or so at 8:30 in the morning. But hey, it was a dry heat.

oy.

or steal golf balls on the way.

Sure! If they're just laying there, they're obviously lost and free for the taking. Just wait until they stop rolling.

We were heading up to the top of this:

On foot???????


Whoa. You guys walked a loooong way!

It didn’t help matters when my dad informed me that someone had been killed by a cougar on this trail several months earlier. I started looking for any sign of a cave with bones scattered around its mouth.

That's what dad's do.
Deny if you didn't turn to David and say "Someone was killed by a cougar on this trail just the other day."


Nice view! :thumbsup2

That's when I sat on a cactus.

And they say white men can't jump.

Teddy bear cactus?

Julie was afraid to take the camera on a canoe (not without reason)

Understandable, except....

"Julie wanted to do the float trip with Scott so she could take pictures of the canyon from the water’s surface."


Um.....

Then the four of us got saddled up for a private ride through the Big Bend wilderness. It wasn’t private because we’d paid extra for the experience. It was private because no one else was stupid enough to ride during the hottest part of the day.

:laughing:


Still smiling.... hasn't succumbed to heat stroke yet or spontaneously combusted.

I’ll call him English Bob

7039819.jpg


We had two guides, a woman named Jess and an Englishman named…uh…something. I’ll call him English Bob.

Of course her name was Jess. I've seen that movie.

Lean back when they go downhill and forward when they go up.

::yes::

My horse was named Duncan, and I learned along the way that he was a bit of a jerk. (Insert joke about horses being match up with their riders here.)

The horses are obviously matched up with their riders.



You're welcome.


Nice photo!

Then, as we rested to enjoy the view and some water, he kept creeping over towards this cliff. I can only assume he was thinking of seeing how long it would take me to hit the bottom.

"One buck and I can relax."

Another random observation: ever heard the phrase, "I have to pee like a racehorse."? Well, that phrase exists for a reason. :eek: These horses must have bladders the size of an inflatable kiddie pool.

Um... yes. I did see that on my last ride in Arizona.
I was just too polite to mention it.


This is not true for everyone.

I'm pretty sure there are fewer psychotic horses on the zip line.

Actually, no.
How do you think the horses get psychotic.

"Strap that pony on the line, boys! Wooooeeee!"


"I once caught a fish, this big!"


Nice setting.

We also split an order of onion rings, because onion rings.

::yes::

Everything was delicious, except for the refried beans, because refried beans are uniformly nasty (no matter how good they are for your heart).

Correct. I've changed enough diapers that I don't feel like eating something that looks like it.


Awww....

But this time some clouds rolled in, and we didn’t get much of a view at all.

First jerk horses, now jerk clouds.

In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, Texas is big.

Almost exactly the same size as my province.
250,947 square miles to 268,820.

Julie had decided that she wanted genuine cowgirl boots as her souvenir from Texas.

Not a bad souvenir. :)

I told her that was way too expensive, and that she should just get a refrigerator magnet or something.

And you live?

we went to the store and she picked out a pair of boots that she will pretend to be surprised about when Christmas morning rolls around.

:laughing:

More importantly, Scotty picked out his souvenir, too. And Scotty and Drew happened.

They look good!

Somehow, we all made it out of there without sequined shirts.

This is possible? :laughing:

I’d researched the Texas Monthly ranking of the 50 best BBQ joints in the state

Smart!
(Makes mental note.)

*--note: at the time of our trip, this place was on the 50 Best list, last published in 2013. Texas Monthly updated their list in summer 2017, and the Smoke Shack no longer appears.

Well, then the place is garbage!

And the Smoke Shack didn’t disappoint

Or not.

The meat just melted in our mouths.

mmmmm..... <drool>

Your Mission, should you choose to accept it. Actually, 2 or 3 of them.

Nah. I'll just read. Too lazy to accept missions.
 
A few more good words of wisdom, then:

There is no one righteous...no, not one.
You’ll get no argument from me on that one.
but I’m not the one that needs convincing.





Where was I?
Somewhere where no one would think to look for you?


A hideout, if you will.
A hole on the wall…
for your gang…
Good thinkin’ there Butch.


Formerly known as The Hideout at Lajitas (which is a much, much cooler name)
Pretty sure that there’ll be a consensus on that observation


I could have counted the number of other guests I saw on one hand.
Good for y’all.
Likely not so good for the bean counters in charge of the place.


so bad job by me. Admit it, you’re used to that by now.
So, this must be some of your work then.

bea2c583405b3b431a9593064199b51d--funny-street-signs-funny-road-signs.jpg


Actually…
That’s brilliant.
I’d be taking credit for that one if I were you.


Sarah, being our resident daredevil, considered the question for approximately 1.71 milliseconds before she leaped at the chance to do a zip line.
Took that long, ehh…
She might be losing a step or two in her old age.


That was right about when the plans fell apart.
It’s a road trip…
How could you expect otherwise.


We learned later that the zip line was only open a couple of days a week.
That would’a been a handy piece of information to have beforehand.


Immediately, Sarah and I were extremely bummed to miss out on our chance to impersonate Batman.
Batman?
Captain Underpants, maybe

Now, Sarah could have pulled off the dark knight flight, but you…


Julie, Sarah and Scott were picked up by the adventure guide in a van.
A van?
Not a buckboard?
Disappointing…


Meanwhile, my father wasn’t going to take it easy on us. He had decided to build our character by taking David and me out on a hike.
ch9006231.gif



Hummmm…
Dave looks just a smidgen worried there.


It was about 85 degrees or so at 8:30 in the morning.
We had that going on here last week (and remember, we’re talking about October, here)


But hey, it was a dry heat.
Not here it wasn’t.


Here’s the view looking back from the mesa. The resort is in the left-center of the photo, and you can see some of the golf course as well.

pHvld2UB46ECo23rhpv9jf9FfrBimm88fnaEzxySYJBp3u5yQlX-XIxQprFRY1qsy-XnzzBRljm6t_85stU-3F7bm8K7m9MZrVDmZo_FhosT51xWn8zHDGm3ptKvo_JrQSyeLknkvG2Yt-yNuUri_x2eJ5u3WNxJHTXU3l-D2YCJwtJIXRTWJSLqVtsn2YcYuActxcf09rLc3-WP8FeAHvQ8hsKseIXgDO4jJF3ULHGfODdwDflr27N-xtZQa5sPllz8rmEWnbm5XCvGTWkhhe0LBkcmB-9xre361VJW58qoUItVZhkKJpV-uN5OsF2RkV3SmT7KLOyXmqK1EKeK8zXWrFvDOGA7E5qXdWDVBGkRlZnFBN9tJS8a3p_OU0PNYUICnFa2Q40aswWvbcvd8tb_JYYaz5JSBONAr7JOil97H2M4kNfSlHjq1-DT8DEmRCkh8TgY3gGZwnQ7ZT3-755F-f-epMvUOpf20gCR6z5PbjS9Fl3nmMoYAMZNyRYUeQ2u1yAP7lTN6Y0l25jzX6TjDimOub1XWcu8kZC4_uNYgVy4C8t9n4mOKf0oD_JKubNWgt-7rkM1fnXq-WvuhH18L9HyiBb0vYyaZk_O9w=w1120-h840-no
Good Lord!
How long was that trail?


I started looking for any sign of a cave with bones scattered around its mouth.
50591f6231210fa7892733f7f0f15c18--pet-rabbit-rabbit-of-caerbannog.jpg



Thankfully, there was a payoff at the top of the ridge. The mesa afforded a beautiful view of a horseshoe bend in the Rio Grande. As it flows to the east (left in this photo), it forms Santa Elena Canyon, which we’d seen the day before.

sfeZjyxL7g1Tb1TE4AEFDDf3LY1EEkR5DBSAlWLN93WWtPRiZxYgAbCfSzvzlD61yoHnj7qwyFNbaZ4pgbAg0Dgx8GQRt0aMC0TQeKIz_lyl6vXd6b1CXHxTOpwfY-fMBPPlMPYmqVHHaW8HRoJWJ0DrnlI6pHt2ncFuRqgQplI9JCw49pjgzurqQhF0fJHPog6DRIrETIoAoOSIO3ejWATpNzsN0BdCRBf2k6ImuFu__pM1SprSms8ld4ndLl1Q_Tp2jbVIUu2u5_vEwyfsFCFv88B3K-PJULPZKOwmqHBGNWUWHLDwJSDRFMtCTvPc6JoFxCfruNgIp1rZSaQ47y83iLyfHvisVbC9DxVnx7rpahR7117zb7zFq85BtsIiH76P0MNN6-SfbYVeYrbHEFfUjYHVrLuJVgCBWb_Wv5z6EHsc9NWvHlihmhETNvhsZaTgQyr8jMy2iB9bDmpwtGFbVoQBNYSGaP7TlaxgeDj46EJh6k5x-XvTIphflbKkOJZD32SjtAT0Nhmysn59ZqrbHnHMIW3Y6MJjaommsQQYaApFtrKS3T5m6MooKZGa6e-JfKu6N2eWLqFH5qftF6I3cAVJlnKWuP1gv2OLhA=w1120-h840-no
Purrrty…
I’d have had a stroke climbing up there to see it, but still…


I crouched down, taking my best care to artfully compose the shot and do my best Ansel Adams impersonation.
I don’t think that Ol’ Ansel is related to Captain Underpants.


That's when I sat on a cactus.
But there’s categorical proof that you are.


And they say white men can't jump.
And I suspect that you did a little bit of the Hokey Pokey right after you came back down.


Anyway, I got the needle out of my butt
Hay, it builds character.


We met up with everyone else and traded stories about our morning adventures over a gourmet lunch of baked leavened dough garnished with nut and berry spreads.
Nomenclature is everything.


Those who went on the canoe trip seemed to have a great time, but I have no photos to share…
Perfect, you have license to write up a fictional account of the adventure then.


Julie was afraid to take the camera on a canoe (not without reason)
Sounds like there’s a bit of a back story that ought’a be going in right about here.


It was private because no one else was stupid enough to ride during the hottest part of the day.
There’s madness to your method…


Dave, for his part, really enjoyed his first ride.

K9URDvOEaHmH1akAWZi4RLCFaXhqw-triF9AWVtQZ2C7JQyUAW_LSYx6TYH0mTiWEM_o4RRQH_yguHE0jYtfA2ievkB6Cw3nq-y4RtTpbgRdRHVOxKjqU4uDx-MJyBG3LmhsHmHU2RPmfZFxK6OdJHO9Wb3DOtGUvOuzZ5_yzx5t_9054qusebo-EkxIwGzazGEx-sv4u_FsynpopAJGlQPNknp6QDI4wJVqihQzR8m_LjqGwYMLWSvBMgJxnHjcCfsjqay3qJK-KkVVFUq2kycX5nY5aMzczNC4IRI1RrvM6_oQs_Is-8FJwDoG47Of_n9ntydSgRl1JSO22A9PQA5Yi2CQ5mRfLScV0gZ4VC9cSKg2tkOcxplk0NqXhiAvQQs00qbdyQM6oiW4KkIALAsxdTQamykM5H8lCw53m4eicyd6-VwY6Vy492A-yPo3CpU2BtQ2-kcLj1Yi_B9avLlpHdh3rXgF2YavOpXLOTyWkmrQPjCHmyGvWYmC7ogHFvdrXJT0wrxt8lSAubr8vu3C3NAU4zVO7rEzUM_73Gvrq8_EqFNzncYnAocuo0-ax1XIt5zedMgZwBQYis9NgvU-NCMPtZJ_X8KmxLhpQQ=w1120-h840-no
Good for Dave, but there’s a question that needs asking here…
What exactly do you figure that chopper out there over the river was up to?


My horse was named Duncan, and I learned along the way that he was a bit of a jerk.
Maybe he was anticipating that you were going to stiff him on the tip.


He wasn’t a big fan of following anybody
So then, much like a teen with a newly minted driver’s license.


Then, as we rested to enjoy the view and some water, he kept creeping over towards this cliff. I can only assume he was thinking of seeing how long it would take me to hit the bottom.
That or he had a bet with the other horses as to how high you’d bounce afterward.


Another random observation…
Oh dear…
This does not bode well.


ever heard the phrase, "I have to pee like a racehorse."? Well, that phrase exists for a reason.
At least they’re in a natural environment.
It’s an impressive (or more rather, dismaying) site when the critter is on the streets of New York.

During the Macy’s Parade…

Now that’s entertainment…


I'm pretty sure there are fewer psychotic horses on the zip line.
Thank the Lord for weight limits.

And given your kiddie pool imagery…
I’d say that’s a very good thing.


Everything was delicious, except for the refried beans, because refried beans are uniformly nasty (no matter how good they are for your heart).

SasS3xH60ZkBtHCPTQsvYMwGpVrIVuVMpIFp5hi27Cixlv8JkR6RoqXtT54ccDIlkqwWWTgV8qYw-C65rd3CD6BFX5PZ0MJdNOJBdYFBeme7UeEitva94lmaxyt4ZLhHM_dPkEJeUD7pJluUp3dioLgDiR0aRuBeH9IdUEhlGmMUyWHzTjPthxvl0VVTOBVf8U8hCsBy9F7Q3zlvy3qr1_Dyj9NKhd36w9-K__hozuYDdkspDSGr-GK7Un07kTGnkmCkS_vvGpAGnxbrnmmgnRQcpkh8G2Ko7ymvgP4m69NN-UteJW3hGTpBSMwKj_1HUneW8hePvVuQZ3YHx9uRA3BhJO4IBl9PTVp6sn_QuqghvCc_n4J2MIgbcP8ot1D8I45J5BHpLarRYKqssZ0L9mEbEjn8g-vYUfdY5J3ZY54hPS5SyaBed_ul_Ht5NMLZh7CyR2SoY9i4AeQzOWba0JDTNY507-0qPz-MoN3jj8Ccpa7sMDE7sg4DhQkzZ4QuFS1-zH5YIlKgUq4-_21FlNCWoIjqqLBmHQ2rFbbOT3kyW9zs90usMH0epAEIYjY6t-6VdrU6U87tSbxVIEZpW26Ak9gaqjg5k_Ctc2jidQ=w1120-h840-no
Yeah, but the more you far…

Oh, never mind.
(does look good though)


I’m going to skip ahead a day in the trip now because the following day was a long, all-day drive from Big Bend to San Antonio.
A link back to the drive through North Dakota would do as a pretty good stand-in at this point.
Or maybe the one that crossed Nebraska.


In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, Texas is big.
You don’t have to worry too much about tellin’ us…
The Texans will do it for you.

Often…


Very, very, often…


we went to the store and she picked out a pair of boots that she will pretend to be surprised about when Christmas morning rolls around.
I imagine that those are going to be out of the box long before December.
I’m sure there a butt or two that goin’a need kicking.


Drew happened.

GjTuw4zs84bPirwnLAO3ekfzFo8kyZ1KnknbhuKyBVHepxuubg6isvcoaA8CENrPrHPAJ9PK5o5KCLpPvdEHRDJ6mx840yXVL0tC2yP9OZHu3Zaxr0KUDSBqNuGLJIttxC9RSyKDYRPdphqYPAejLVUNHsiK6Av86_9IH9BX3s6nxLkD_slUtPkoDAJcdEZ0FxXVw3gr03A6BKEtxGtEs3WOXqVf2Umok1XXAyBzPOPxoJwt2XFfQV6Ku2RgTsE6EunqPHIEJVEvu7p4kAQvOlj-6x7AnvUjzrTSWO1s6xIIv9WqQjWeQsIDNP_pEgok8faats9e52KOpukm64T4r8kXmv0d0mdUJGED89gvAmeIpeP--lQCRWPaaV5zvCg2yWO61iX_pcGs1S_5m-vhyYKGbz0sm_o5Mm_nI9mNFNDCo8WIngFQg8lZOvFLGpAkIrzgxr8OAa6YgwywkgNHLqIvgr5SLNWloXzlQHfNOEHNB2D0I1E74-upgQIuYsfg-efZlQVILn4NIyA5ChKi-EqNWOM77qz4lGAfQKLsRs7VRrFairXWgVR6dZb7fgxiVOpcLq4n2X5t30C30l8yYuYTnyCMZYjo1kCasKNqsA=w1120-h840-no
Practicing his Texas Batman Zip Line Pose for the next time y’all are down there.


Somehow, we all made it out of there without sequined shirts.
And we’re all poorer for not having pictures of that.
(but it’d been more apropos were you visiting Nashville)


The pitmaster came around asking everyone if they were happy, and even gave me a free sample of his peach cobbler for dessert.
Bet’cha he wasn’t foolish enough to go and put “something green” on your plate as well…


Thumbs up all around.

QesTlzVEWDB4wS7rWYlIsRARi_RQJRc4ei4NkBN9lOS-pR0_SELBbS6aBD1IMY_TDQ0IgYHbsIzdGBasagsEZ-FJVETaQt-mwrFuqAI2I76G2PfLoEIMXRUfQVgdYzH6NB5qRRxbo757o4V8ca7-Y1ssFZg2i_2Zdhs9Tj078PqJBXLwV5bleS7j-fwwtLWxn30wB5QkskgXC3ibgHCb7kCX0a2sHXRTYBGqmfDKBcUtV5unIYDXGK1vT-SQfA-Jvvv74L6hkf_nY3aF64pxuQW_tn7oTzvwsz3Oec5Bcpw8pEewCqbNv2qdvgo6isXX3XIXkdXMFhUylQ7Mwqs1FW_IFwvLSahYOk9t0X2MZZGLen7Yjhxn-xLYqOuIpLbNHPb_CcIUpeXXU9mhzNpuCKxxeyg83IIGn5pJLQwv75FqO_pMPu2TqRHzacXnU6DPKb1Bm9mjSfKSN9KikddYhQKFLN8JNFEyGmDEXiteW3uw3KcpuGAGCOaZsingaGkMWxP9NV8gxYjwRt7z8-CiVF7N2ByG466f53vlkIgBzmhN-wwHdMqdddHPJSym0eJ1QFKD3ccU0418H_5hOTfBW3QRBHvcjMRDRKVn6CG-Hw=w1240-h827-no
Nope.
Didn’t think so.

Looks right good by the way.


Coming Up Next: Your Mission, should you choose to accept it.
Just know that the Secretary of State will disavow any knowledge of your actions.


Actually, 2 or 3 of them.
That’s fine, we should roll through 2 or 3 different Secretaries of State before long and then each of them can disavow knowledge of one of those missions.
 
sorry it too me so long to reply to this

I figured you'd get around to it eventually.

Who's looking?

:confused3

Ah. Asked and answered.

Well, if you're satisfied, then I am, too.

Whereupon he decided the only thing to do to save himself is marry Kim Basinger.

If that's a reference, I think I'm missing it. But it's not bad as fallback plans go.

Smarter move.

You would think you'd want to have as many customers as possible, but what do I know?

Good for you!
Given enough practice, we'll have you up to two hands in no time!

Just don't make me take my shoes off. Nobody wants that.

I like it. And that sky is gorgeous.

Golden hour FTW!

Reasonable request.

Won't happen... but reasonable.

The more I think about Disney's Old West Resort, the more I want to see it become a reality. Has to have a train station on the WDW Railroad, though.

But... it's a TR requirement!

I'm surprised you haven't been banned.

Hey, not so loud!

I don't really think about hotel room photos. Most of the rooms we stay in look like every other room we've stayed in.

I find it interesting that they all chose something different from each other.

I think that was actually part of their rationale. They all wanted something special on their own.

Oh. Crap.

Stupid zip line.

Capes and all.

My daughter would wear it better, I'm sure.

Hmmm...

I'm a bit torn by that.
On the one hand.... you want to go rafting and can't. On the other hand, I really like canoeing.

I don't think they were disappointed. The larger idea was to float down the river in a canyon. That still happened. It's just that they had to do a little more work.

Sure! If they're just laying there, they're obviously lost and free for the taking. Just wait until they stop rolling.

:rotfl2: Serves the guy right, if he's hitting shots at us.

On foot???????

::yes::

Whoa. You guys walked a loooong way!

It wasn't that bad. I think the photo exaggerates the distance. Our hike was about 1.5 miles, one way. The climb was the hard part.

That's what dad's do.
Deny if you didn't turn to David and say "Someone was killed by a cougar on this trail just the other day."

I think in my version, it was a Sasquatch.

Nice view! :thumbsup2

I was very happy to find out that it was worth the climb!

Teddy bear cactus?

No, just a really tiny little ba------.

Understandable, except....

"Julie wanted to do the float trip with Scott so she could take pictures of the canyon from the water’s surface."


Um.....

I should have explained that better. She was all on board with bringing the camera and taking photos on the raft. Once it got changed to a canoe, her attitude was different. Being in a smaller, more unstable vessel and having to row made her feel anxious about having the camera with her.

Still smiling.... hasn't succumbed to heat stroke yet or spontaneously combusted.

It was touch-and-go there for a while.


I can't tell you how much it tickles me when someone catches my references.

Of course her name was Jess. I've seen that movie.

If only the cowboy was Woody.

The horses are obviously matched up with their riders.



You're welcome.

Well, somebody had to say it.

Nice photo!

Thanks!

"One buck and I can relax."

Hard to blame the horse. Who knows how long he'd been schlepping people all over that mountain.

Um... yes. I did see that on my last ride in Arizona.
I was just too polite to mention it.


This is not true for everyone.

Honestly, some people are just so crass. Uncultured swine.

Actually, no.
How do you think the horses get psychotic.

"Strap that pony on the line, boys! Wooooeeee!"

I have to admit, I would probably pay to see that.

"I once caught a fish, this big!"

:lmao:

Nice setting.

It was! No bugs, either, which was nice.

Correct. I've changed enough diapers that I don't feel like eating something that looks like it.

That's exactly how I think of it. My wife loves them. I don't know how she can eat something with the color and consistency of poo.


That's what we said when we spotted them.

First jerk horses, now jerk clouds.

Don't they know who I am?!?!

Almost exactly the same size as my province.
250,947 square miles to 268,820.

Which one is which? I think most people don't realize how huge Canada is.

Not a bad souvenir. :)

It makes sense. Something that would genuinely remind one of Texas.

And you live?

Julie's got a very sweet disposition. She's very polite when she sends me to sleep on the couch.

They look good!

Scotty definitely wears it well! And Drew looks good in anything.

This is possible? :laughing:

Barely.

Smart!
(Makes mental note.)

That's why I provided the link! I wanted to hit as many places as I could.

Well, then the place is garbage!


mmmmm..... <drool>

Definitely not garbage. Texas BBQ does not disappoint.

Nah. I'll just read. Too lazy to accept missions.

Dang. I was hoping somebody else would do the work.
 
Well, if you're satisfied, then I am, too.

I'm seldom satisfied.

Case in point.... I'm still reading...

If that's a reference, I think I'm missing it. But it's not bad as fallback plans go.

She bought an entire town.
Then went bankrupt.

You would think you'd want to have as many customers as possible, but what do I know?

Seems like a solid business plan.

Then again.... Some companies (like Rolex) rely more on a few customers paying extremely high prices.

Just don't make me take my shoes off. Nobody wants that.

Of course not!
Counting with base ten is easy. It gets harder when you use base eleven.

The more I think about Disney's Old West Resort, the more I want to see it become a reality. Has to have a train station on the WDW Railroad, though.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't really think about hotel room photos. Most of the rooms we stay in look like every other room we've stayed in.

Interesting.
My current TR, I've posted room photos and.... wondered why?

I don't think they were disappointed. The larger idea was to float down the river in a canyon. That still happened. It's just that they had to do a little more work.

I'd be okay with that.

It wasn't that bad. I think the photo exaggerates the distance. Our hike was about 1.5 miles, one way. The climb was the hard part.

I wondered about that.
But still, uphill? That's a bit of a hike.

I think in my version, it was a Sasquatch.

Sure. That works.

I should have explained that better. She was all on board with bringing the camera and taking photos on the raft. Once it got changed to a canoe, her attitude was different. Being in a smaller, more unstable vessel and having to row made her feel anxious about having the camera with her.

Sure. Makes total sense.

hotel-riu-palace-costa.jpg


I can't tell you how much it tickles me when someone catches my references.

As long as you don't tickle me back.

Honestly, some people are just so crass. Uncultured swine.

You know who is?
everyone else.

I have to admit, I would probably pay to see that.

::yes::

zip_line_horse_by_delboy1066-d55nzww.jpg


Don't they know who I am?!?!

Totally inconsiderate.

Which one is which? I think most people don't realize how huge Canada is.

Mine is the one that's a touch smaller.

Julie's got a very sweet disposition. She's very polite when she sends me to sleep on the couch.

Awww... pillow included?

Definitely not garbage. Texas BBQ does not disappoint.

Must get down there some day.
 
I thought it was why do you call it bacon when it's ham?

Ham is a good second, but no substitute for actual bacon.

Agreed. I can't even remember what that original conversation was about.

And, :welcome: to the TR!

You’ll get no argument from me on that one.
but I’m not the one that needs convincing.

Preaching to the choir again, am I?

Somewhere where no one would think to look for you?

They always seem to find me. Every time.

A hole on the wall…
for your gang…
Good thinkin’ there Butch.

Thanks, Sundance.

Pretty sure that there’ll be a consensus on that observation

I have no idea why they'd change to such a generic name.

Good for y’all.
Likely not so good for the bean counters in charge of the place.

Like I said, no clue how they stay in business.

So, this must be some of your work then.

bea2c583405b3b431a9593064199b51d--funny-street-signs-funny-road-signs.jpg


Actually…
That’s brilliant.
I’d be taking credit for that one if I were you.

I like this one:

15528.jpg


Took that long, ehh…
She might be losing a step or two in her old age.

Had to look up from texting first.

It’s a road trip…
How could you expect otherwise.

Man plans, God laughs.

That would’a been a handy piece of information to have beforehand.

Yes. Yes, indeed.:headache:

Batman?
Captain Underpants, maybe

Now, Sarah could have pulled off the dark knight flight, but you…

Greatest American Hero?

A van?
Not a buckboard?
Disappointing…

We can only work with the materials provided.


I can't even express how much I miss this comic strip. A landmark creation.

Hummmm…
Dave looks just a smidgen worried there.

Probably just heard about the cougar attack.

We had that going on here last week (and remember, we’re talking about October, here)

I know. My family was just talking in general about how we'd really like to experience fall this year.

Not here it wasn’t.

:scared:

Good Lord!
How long was that trail?

I think the photo exaggerates it. It was only a 1.5-mile hike. The climb was the hard part.


I warned you!

Purrrty…
I’d have had a stroke climbing up there to see it, but still…

Totally worth it! By the way, am I slurring my speech?

I don’t think that Ol’ Ansel is related to Captain Underpants.

He had to wear 'em just like everybody else.

But there’s categorical proof that you are.

Or at least Inspector Clouseau.

And I suspect that you did a little bit of the Hokey Pokey right after you came back down.

I got myself all turned around, that's for sure.

Hay, it builds character.

That was way less fun than Calvin's experience.

Nomenclature is everything.

It almost sounded edible, didn't it?

Perfect, you have license to write up a fictional account of the adventure then.

So, it's a normal TR chapter.

Sounds like there’s a bit of a back story that ought’a be going in right about here.

No, I just explained it poorly. Bottom line is she would take the camera in a raft, but not in a canoe.

There’s madness to your method…

Always.

Good for Dave, but there’s a question that needs asking here…
What exactly do you figure that chopper out there over the river was up to?

I thought it might have been a helicopter tour. Those seem to be becoming more and more popular in scenic areas for tourists with more disposable income than I have.

Maybe he was anticipating that you were going to stiff him on the tip.

I'm notorious for that.

So then, much like a teen with a newly minted driver’s license.

Sounds about right. By the way, Sarah is in Driver's Ed. :scared1:

That or he had a bet with the other horses as to how high you’d bounce afterward.

I'm too fat. Wouldn't bounce much at all.

Oh dear…
This does not bode well.

I'm keeping things classy around here.

At least they’re in a natural environment.
It’s an impressive (or more rather, dismaying) site when the critter is on the streets of New York.

During the Macy’s Parade…

Now that’s entertainment…

:eek:

:lmao::rotfl2::rotfl:

Thank the Lord for weight limits.

And given your kiddie pool imagery…
I’d say that’s a very good thing.

See? I knew someone would find it as amusing as I did.

Yeah, but the more you far…

Oh, never mind.
(does look good though)

Very good. I ate entirely too much that night.

A link back to the drive through North Dakota would do as a pretty good stand-in at this point.
Or maybe the one that crossed Nebraska.

Who can really tell? They're all the same.

You don’t have to worry too much about tellin’ us…
The Texans will do it for you.

Often…


Very, very, often…

It's not the size of the state that matters...

They can brag all they want about the BBQ, though. It's awesome.

I imagine that those are going to be out of the box long before December.
I’m sure there a butt or two that goin’a need kicking.

So far, she has shown admirable restraint. On both counts.

Practicing his Texas Batman Zip Line Pose for the next time y’all are down there.

It's as good a reason as any.

And we’re all poorer for not having pictures of that.
(but it’d been more apropos were you visiting Nashville)

There are certain sights the world never needs to see.

Bet’cha he wasn’t foolish enough to go and put “something green” on your plate as well…

We all know it would just get pushed to the side.

Nope.
Didn’t think so.

Looks right good by the way.

hLhUmUKj5frKWLV_bkihBQG-9LFuPN5QvhF6N-mcJjKsA7e7Gc2UTTcnv8o7ml85pRBuC1It18OVdM3Yf9AOOtFDsMKIbHAwrbjUkbz_ahBX8RFssqnbFgJGEqyn82OoF748YaSb26E8csSosfapG5SENonu2AAokXueGpCfxHV0r-V9FdCwygT1A48qFkcNzQugFaV4PsRLCyOjp_eDvIxLv8ZAFjHhe4q_fhDz_I6QjLmrYzFRbdQx4rIq6yqqChxw7c3GxlZyaXGdL-B1xyM-IGLfz_XpMcjvzujOymmHPf-Nj4mrkN30jK97Eouey1EX2UHd_BlqdmxYICQ97uWZVICTQSWFu_27ImLO0JakFKAax7x13_oqRSm4d5AzT8rpIAHU_vwNttv7IIBfva-0e1qnRutJAiadD6lgq5vMIxXlf3GwcuZvPWIE4XOU15L0J6AMWyIGL5x7FkI6ocMqJ0HUnGc1Dh_DIrSqZLH4SdqXTVw2snMJf5ds_iOlHRREijgAtLWKXmThTEW3wXQ7o1YyETkzniNw4y4aTT6hXoKGanI7v8zpqcjwGxBAu_ApflZ1lqMT53mZJJjyw3V-9LCG4fQoPBhkFp9wUw=w279-h320-no


Just know that the Secretary of State will disavow any knowledge of your actions.

Only if I'm caught or killed. Which is likely.

That’s fine, we should roll through 2 or 3 different Secretaries of State before long and then each of them can disavow knowledge of one of those missions.

I'm going to go ahead and pre-emptively disavow all of them.

Must admit... this was the first thing that popped into my head.

As well it should have!
 

Looks really nice! I'm impressed!

(which is not a terrible idea in the least, and I expect royalties if this happens),

:lmao::lmao::lmao:


Love!

Sarah, being our resident daredevil, considered the question for approximately 1.71 milliseconds before she leaped at the chance to do a zip line. She’s long wanted to try one, and was thrilled to finally have the chance to soar over desert canyons while hanging from a thin cable. David had never been horseback riding in his life, so he wanted to cross that off his bucket list. Scott waffled a bit before finally deciding to try the float trip. We had to figure out the logistics of the day since someone needed to watch Drew at all times. Julie wanted to do the float trip with Scott so she could take pictures of the canyon from the water’s surface. My dad offered to go horseback riding in the afternoon with Dave, while I had taken maybe half a millisecond longer than Sarah to call dibs on the zip line.

Well that sure worked out nicely!

During our previous day in Big Bend, my parents had called the resort to schedule reservations for all of these activities. That was right about when the plans fell apart.

.... or not.

But hey, it was a dry heat.

Well hey, you can't have everything!

That's when I sat on a cactus.

...unless you're Captain Oblivious.

After enjoying the view for a bit, we descended the trail, found our van, and headed straight for the general store to buy the biggest bottles of cold, overpriced Gatorade we could find. We met up with everyone else and traded stories about our morning adventures over a gourmet lunch of baked leavened dough garnished with nut and berry spreads.

:rotfl2:


You know, if that helicopter was exploding, it'd be a much better TR.

Another random observation: ever heard the phrase, "I have to pee like a racehorse."? Well, that phrase exists for a reason. :eek: These horses must have bladders the size of an inflatable kiddie pool.

:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:


Very nice setting for a dinner!

*--note: at the time of our trip, this place was on the 50 Best list, last published in 2013. Texas Monthly updated their list in summer 2017, and the Smoke Shack no longer appears.

Well dang! (Not that I"m ever going to get to Texas anytime soon, but...)
 
Had to look up from texting first.
Those modern appendages have been known to reduce folk’s reaction times a mite.


Man plans, God laughs.
God spends a great deal of time laughing.
Must be hard for him to catch a breath.


I can't even express how much I miss this comic strip. A landmark creation.
::yes::

Along with a hand full of others, but that one most.


I know. My family was just talking in general about how we'd really like to experience fall this year.
It finally got here yesterday.
They’re predicting that it should last for at least another seventeen hours or so.


I warned you!
Oh, shut up!

Right…
Charge!


By the way, am I slurring my speech?
Pup…
You’re now where near fat enough or old enough.



That was way less fun than Calvin's experience.
974a995cca6cd7ed6ef591160f980bf6--best-calvin-and-hobbes-funny-google-searches.jpg



I thought it might have been a helicopter tour. Those seem to be becoming more and more popular in scenic areas for tourists with more disposable income than I have.
I figured it was the boarder patrol…

Wait…
It is a black chopper.
Could you hear it off in the distance or was it one of those silent black choppers?
There’re everywhere man!


Sounds about right. By the way, Sarah is in Driver's Ed. :scared1:
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily…

Our young’en just headed back to school.
It still scares his Momma to death.


I'm too fat. Wouldn't bounce much at all.

NoIdea.JPG


We all know it would just get pushed to the side.
Hopefully, the rest of the meal made up for that unmitigated effrontery.
 
ormerly known as The Hideout at Lajitas (which is a much, much cooler name), the town was originally bought by a millionaire at an auction in 2000. He sought to create an exclusive resort for the rich, but despite pouring over $100 million into the property, he couldn’t attract enough people willing to pay the membership fees and ultimately declared bankruptcy.
Talk about a bad investment...

We were given a second-floor room with a balcony in this row. We fell in love with the resort fairly quickly. If Disney ever built an Old West-style resort (which is not a terrible idea in the least, and I expect royalties if this happens), I imagine it would look an awful lot like this one.
::yes:: This is a theme that Disney could do very well!

Julie wanted to do the float trip with Scott so she could take pictures of the canyon from the water’s surface. My dad offered to go horseback riding in the afternoon with Dave, while I had taken maybe half a millisecond longer than Sarah to call dibs on the zip line.
::yes:: You win!

So, with some scrambling, we set up the float trip for Sarah, Julie and Scott in the morning, and Dave, my parents and I would go out horseback riding in the afternoon.
Wow... like the Eagles grasping defeat from the jaws of victory, huh?

It didn’t help matters when my dad informed me that someone had been killed by a cougar on this trail several months earlier. I started looking for any sign of a cave with bones scattered around its mouth.
Is that the point where you kick him in the knee and remind him you only have to outrun the slowest one?

That's when I sat on a cactus.

And they say white men can't jump.

Anyway, I got the needle out of my butt and took a crappy photo, and we moved on with our day.
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:

We met up with everyone else and traded stories about our morning adventures over a gourmet lunch of baked leavened dough garnished with nut and berry spreads.
Finally! That sounds way better than those crappy PB&J sandwiches you usually eat. :rolleyes1

It wasn’t private because we’d paid extra for the experience. It was private because no one else was stupid enough to ride during the hottest part of the day.
::yes:: You speak the truth.

I felt bad for the horses, They’d just come back from carrying people up and down a steep mountain in the heat, and now they were being made to do it all over again. I made a mental note to give the horses a nice tip at the end.
I'm kind of surprised they didn't have fresh horses to take back out, but then again, I think you said it was an hour ride. They can handle it better than the whiny, hot human on their back.

When we reached the top of the mesa, the guide arranged us in a nice row for a family photo.
I notice everybody is wearing a helmet, except for you. I guess that says something about what is or isn't worth being protected...

Another random observation: ever heard the phrase, "I have to pee like a racehorse."? Well, that phrase exists for a reason. :eek: These horses must have bladders the size of an inflatable kiddie pool.
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:

Overall, we thought the resort was great. Nicely kept, great amenities, and a beautiful location (if remote). I can certainly understand why my parents like to escape here every so often. I just wish I knew how the place manages to stay in business. But in any case, it’s a great getaway while it lasts!
It definitely looks like a beautiful place! However they stay in business, hopefully it continues to work!

Eventually, we made it to San Antonio. We stopped at a store called Cavender’s Boot City because Julie had decided that she wanted genuine cowgirl boots as her souvenir from Texas. I told her that was way too expensive, and that she should just get a refrigerator magnet or something. But, after getting a reprimand from the Budget Committee, we went to the store and she picked out a pair of boots that she will pretend to be surprised about when Christmas morning rolls around.
Oh yeah, when she wants something... :rolleyes1

*--note: at the time of our trip, this place was on the 50 Best list, last published in 2013. Texas Monthly updated their list in summer 2017, and the Smoke Shack no longer appears.
So you brought the quality of the place down a notch or 2?

I was probably as excited about eating barbecue as Julie was about getting cowboy boots. And the Smoke Shack didn’t disappoint. We spilt some 2-meat trays and tried the beef brisket and pulled pork, and both were excellent. The meat just melted in our mouths. The pitmaster came around asking everyone if they were happy, and even gave me a free sample of his peach cobbler for dessert. Thumbs up all around.
Sounds like a great meal!!
 
I'm late to the party and have been resisting responding (because I'm late to the party), but since you asked...
In the meantime, while I'm gone, please update your TR's slowly so I have a chance to get caught up later. And I'm going to steal an idea from @pkondz ... tell me some more about yourselves:

What are your favorite movies?
The princess bride

What are your favorite books?
Lord of the rings.

Where do you want to travel that you haven't seen yet?
Germany. Dream to drive fast on autobahn and also see countryside and castles.

What's the best prank you ever pulled/witnessed?
Banana sliced in the peel and falls all over when person tries to peel/eat normally.

If money was no object, what would be your vehicle of choice?
Ferrari

When are you going to be anywhere near Delaware?
Not sure. 3 of the 4 states I've not been to are near you (Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont). Only other 1 is Hawaii.

Will you stop reading these TR's once we finish off the 50-state quest?
Nope

What have we missed in our travels that made you smack your head in disbelief? And, in the words of Jack from LOST, do "we need to go back"?
I haven't see all of your travels, so if you've not seen Bryce/Zion or the grand canyon, those three. Closer to your home, skyline drive and Luray Caverns.

What's your favorite thing about Disney parks?
The bubble...I can forget about the cares of the world for a bit and just immerse myself in Disney.

Everyone behave yourselves while we're gone!
Do I have to?
 

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