Are Bridal showers still something that happens?

[ronandannette]

Just curious but if either of you had spent the time to pick out a “tradition” item off a registry- a blender, coffee maker, dishes- and then found out the couple took it back to the store for the credit to buy something else would you still be upset and call the couple on it? I only ask because I remember for awhile right after college that was a thing a lot of couples did when parents said “you must have a registry and ask for sheets and crockpots” and then they’d take the stuff back for the money to spend on new career clothes, student loans, and bar money....

No. But if instead of providing the gift I chose and paid for, the store just gave the couple a credit for that amount, yes - I'd be very annoyed. If that's how certain registries work THEY SHOULD SAY SO. It's just duplicitous otherwise. More to the point, the couple should just ask for cash and dispense with the charade.

 

[verleniahall]

Alive and Well here in Kansas - one of my friend's daughters just got married and she ended up with about 6 different bridal showers

 

[Summer2018]

I married 23 years ago, I was 28, I was one of the first out of our friend groups to get married. Most people here wait until later, I don’t know anyone who didn’t have a shower or traditional wedding.

Same. Married 25 years ago at age 28. Traditional shower, church wedding, bridesmaids luncheon, bachelor party.

Last year my colleague was traditionally married at age 35, bridal shower, etc. Her baby shower is at the end of the month.

 

[rigs32]

No. But if instead of providing the gift I chose and paid for, the store just gave the couple a credit for that amount, yes - I'd be very annoyed. If that's how certain registries work THEY SHOULD SAY SO. It's just duplicitous otherwise. More to the point, the couple should just ask for cash and dispense with the charade.

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MTE. I have the same issue with people who get married and then throw a wedding later on. I'd usually be happy to still attend and celebrate with the couple, but don't lie to me about what event I'm actually attending. A lot of people say it's no big deal, but if it really is no big deal, then why are you lying to your guests? It's usually because the couple knows that if they are honest, some guests won't give as much for a party as they would a wedding.

I spent quite a bit of money to travel to NYC for my cousin's wedding. It also fell on the weekend between the first and second weeks of a murder trial I was handling. I begged the judge to let us end early on Friday so I could catch a plane. I worked until after midnight every week because I knew I couldn't bring any work with my for the quick 48 hour trip to NYC. I was livid when, in the middle of the rehearsal dinner, I learned that the couple got married two days prior. I would have still made every effort to attend their party, but I was not a happy camper. I know I could have stayed home, but I have a very small family and it meant a lot to be to be there to witness my cousin's wedding. But only the parents and siblings witnessed the actual wedding.

 

[scrapquitler]

I haven't been to very many weddings in the last 10 years or so, but almost all of them have had bridal showers. The only two weddings that didn't have bridal showers were the ones that had no bride, and both of those couples had been living together for more than 20 years. I'm in New England, maybe that makes a difference.

 

[disykat]

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MTE. I have the same issue with people who get married and then throw a wedding later on. I'd usually be happy to still attend and celebrate with the couple, but don't lie to me about what event I'm actually attending. A lot of people say it's no big deal, but if it really is no big deal, then why are you lying to your guests? It's usually because the couple knows that if they are honest, some guests won't give as much for a party as they would a wedding.

I spent quite a bit of money to travel to NYC for my cousin's wedding. It also fell on the weekend between the first and second weeks of a murder trial I was handling. I begged the judge to let us end early on Friday so I could catch a plane. I worked until after midnight every week because I knew I couldn't bring any work with my for the quick 48 hour trip to NYC. I was livid when, in the middle of the rehearsal dinner, I learned that the couple got married two days prior. I would have still made every effort to attend their party, but I was not a happy camper. I know I could have stayed home, but I have a very small family and it meant a lot to be to be there to witness my cousin's wedding. But only the parents and siblings witnessed the actual wedding.

Yep. This is another confusing thing I've faced. The wedding before the wedding. I don't get it.

 

[georgina]

Except..... no one actually bought them any of the experiences listed. The company hosting the registry just cut the couple a check, having taken a percentage for themselves first.

The first time friends of mine had a honeymoon registry, we spent time considering the options and spent more than we normally would have to send them on a super fun excursion. I was not amused to learn that the registry just cut them a check that they used for other things. I didn't like the deception of it all. And why should a percentage of my gift be kept by a website? I won't use them anymore.

Sorry you felt deceived. That's standard and I understood that from the start. On DD's, there were suggestions from $20 toward a night at the room upward to an amount listed for dinner, etc. I think they do this because so many people (even on this thread) think just asking for what you really need - money - is tacky.

 

[disneychrista]

Honestly, I think there are more showers / parties for weddings, babies, etc. these days not less.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Honestly, I think there are more showers / parties for weddings, babies, etc. these days not less.

That's my experience as well. I've been to parties for things no one had a party for 20 years ago.