Cancer sucks - again

[Sarabi's Cubs]

I am so frustrated. I had breast cancer, chemo, and radiation 4 years ago. I had finally gotten to a place where I was not always waiting for the other shoe to drop, not looking over my shoulder every minute and BAM! I was just diagnosed with bladder cancer. Fortunately, it is not breast cancer showing up somewhere else, but another primary cancer.

Hopefully, it has been caught early. They removed 2 "polyps" from my bladder about 10 days ago, but because of the aggressive grade of the cancer, they are going back in about a week to take a larger sample of muscle tissue to make sure it's not in the muscle. If it's not in the muscle, there is an intra-bladder chemo they do that doesn't sound horrible, just time consuming. If it's in the muscle, they will have to remove the bladder, which is terrifying. In some ways, breast cancer was easier because it affects so many people, I had lots of people to talk to who'd been through it. I don't know anyone who's had bladder cancer, let alone anyone who's had their bladder removed. I can't begin to imagine the changes that would require in my life.

I'm just so frustrated to be back in this place of worrying and waiting and I feel horrible putting my husband and children through this again. Also, and I know this is trivial in the scheme of things (but not to me), we are supposed to be at Disney over New Year's and I really hope we won't have to cancel. I could use some pixie dust right about now!

I'm feeling better than where I was a week ago when we first got the news, but I still feel like I will never be able to look into the future or plan without wondering whether I'll be there to see it. I'm trying very hard to focus on helping others rather than wallowing.

Laurie

 

[MomiTo2SwtGuys]

I'm so sorry to hear that news. Cancer is an awful awful thing. It takes a toll on the victim and family.

Hopefully it will not be in the muscle and the treatment option will be easier for you. Even though any treatment is not easy.

And I hope you will be able to go on your Disney trip too.


Many many prayers coming your way!

 

[luvmarypoppins]

so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this again.

I always think in the back of my mind that one day my thy ca will come back too or it will be another type.

You have been through this before, so you know you are a tough fighter and warrior.

Have you ever been on the inspire forums. I know they have the cancers broken down by type. The people there with the bladder cancer forum probably could answer a lot of questions that you have.

Wishing you all the best. You will get through this!

Its good to have a trip to look forward to.

 

[mommasita]

Laurie,

I am so sorry you are going through this again... It does suck.. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.. And send pixie dust...

As hard as it can be, try with everything you have, to remain positive..

 

[KNJWDW]

I am sorry you are going through this. My cousin's wife had bladder cancer around 12 years ago. She did end up having her bladder removed. However, she is doing fine today! She is very active, owns her own business, raises horses, goes on vacations, etc. To see her today, you would never know of her issues. She also has lupus, which complicated things for her. Try to stay positive and know that you will get through this.

 

[Sarabi's Cubs]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers!! It means so much!

Have you ever been on the inspire forums. I know they have the cancers broken down by type. The people there with the bladder cancer forum probably could answer a lot of questions that you have.

I have never heard of the inspire forums! Going there right now! Thank you!

My cousin's wife had bladder cancer around 12 years ago. She did end up having her bladder removed. However, she is doing fine today!

This is exactly what I needed to hear!! Thank you!

Laurie

 

[Haimia]

So sorry to hear this. But, you sound so upbeat and ready to fight. Good luck! What part of Ohio are you in? I am in the NW portion.

 

[Schmeck]

(((Laurie))) Sending you positive vibes ~~~~~~ that the muscle samples come back negative (which is good!) and your treatment is simple and successful!

 

[Sarabi's Cubs]

An update - I had the second bladder resection and there was no muscle invasion, so we are proceeding with BCG therarpy (intra-bladder chemo) in January. My doctor is very optimistic! And I am in a much better place mentally. I am having a hysterectomy on Wednesday (my 3rd surgery in the last 6 weeks - ugh!). The anti-hormone medicine I take has caused fibroids in my uterus and cysts on my ovaries. I had to have the left ovary removed last year due to a large cyst, so now they are taking the right one and the uterus. It's actually kind of a relief, since I keep having to have uterine biopsies. Another piece of good news is that the surgeon is going to do the procedure robotically, so the recovery time should be much better than an open procedure, which means - I am very hopeful that I will be spending New Year's at Disney World!!! I don't care if I can't ride anything! Just being there with my family, who have all been through this with me, will be the best Christmas present I could ask for!!

Thanks so much for all of the support and good wishes!!

Laurie

 

[Sarabi's Cubs]

What part of Ohio are you in? I am in the NW portion.

I am in the Columbus area

 

[mommasita]

Continued thoughts and prayers..XO

Glad to see you so positive~!

 

[Haimia]

Thinking of you and hope all went well with the robotic surgery. If you need to talk, you can pm me anytime. Hope the upcoming weather does not cause you any problems!