Can't figure out the right thing to do

Stop copying my life! Lol! I am also 32 and have two children. My husband and I have struggled for years deciding to expand our family, and then with fertility. Our last three pregnancies have ended in miscarriage, the most recent in March of this year. At peace that this was the end of that chapter in our lives, I went back to work full time. So when free dining was released, I booked a fabulous week for our family this December knowing that my new added income would make it more comfortable for us financially. Spoiler alert: Aunt Flo didn't show up this month and I am indeed expecting.

All of this to say, I don't know if this pregnancy will be successful or go to term. If we do get a baby, I don't know if I will have paid maternity leave or if I will go back to work at all. BUT I have until November X to figure things out and pay for my trip OR receive a refund in full. We have plenty of time to see how this pregnancy will go and decide on our trip without losing any money. So I went ahead and made all of my ADRs yesterday. I am enjoying tinkering with Touringplans.com. And I am majorly managing my expectations, trying to be patient, and giving myself time.

I hope everything works out for your family :)
 
I just went through the same thing. Wife and I had our third but we still went to Disney last year while she was preggo. We have the same hardships etc that you are going through.

Things get better. Just make sure it doesn't put you in to any sort of debt.
 
I wish you well with your decision that only you can make.
I will say Disney is not the only place to have family fun so perhaps you should also consider other possibilities that might allow you to fulfill more than one goal: vacation time and planning for another child.
Best with whatever choices you make.
 
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From everything you have said I would probably still go on the trip. You can still start saving for a baby now. There is also no way to know how quickly you will get pregnant. I would hesitate to restrict too many current experiences for potential what ifs in the future. Yes having a third will require some planning but I don't think that means you need to give up all vacations/etc until then.
 
Stop copying my life! Lol! I am also 32 and have two children. My husband and I have struggled for years deciding to expand our family, and then with fertility. Our last three pregnancies have ended in miscarriage, the most recent in March of this year. At peace that this was the end of that chapter in our lives, I went back to work full time. So when free dining was released, I booked a fabulous week for our family this December knowing that my new added income would make it more comfortable for us financially. Spoiler alert: Aunt Flo didn't show up this month and I am indeed expecting.

All of this to say, I don't know if this pregnancy will be successful or go to term. If we do get a baby, I don't know if I will have paid maternity leave or if I will go back to work at all. BUT I have until November X to figure things out and pay for my trip OR receive a refund in full. We have plenty of time to see how this pregnancy will go and decide on our trip without losing any money. So I went ahead and made all of my ADRs yesterday. I am enjoying tinkering with Touringplans.com. And I am majorly managing my expectations, trying to be patient, and giving myself time.

I hope everything works out for your family :)
I hope everything works out for yours.
Very sorry about the losses you experienced & hope you have a healthy pregnancy!
 
We are a typical middle-class family who loves Disney. I have 2 kids and I'm 32 y/o. I struggle with anxiety. Please bear with me- the Disboards is probably a silly place to ask this soul-searching question, but I would love to hear from other parents who may have been in my shoes.

My husband and I have been debating these past few months if we want to have a 3rd child. I worry a lot about the added stress on our finances, but in my heart, I feel like we're not done having children. I think it's likely we will try to have another child soon.

I booked a trip to Disney for us this Dec, so we can see all the Christmas décor. I will get a bonus from work in July that should cover most of the cost. However... if we do have a baby next year, I will be 100% unpaid during my maternity leave. I do not qualify for STD and my company does not offer any benefits to me. So I am going back and forth debating if it's completely crazy to go to Disney this year when I'm looking at 12 weeks unpaid next year.

We got the confirm booklet in the mail and my oldest saw it, so she knows I've booked this trip. She loves Disney World and asks all the time to go back. My youngest will be 2.5 so he'll be free to get in to the parks and buffets (not free on the plane and he eats enough to need his own meal at QS restaurants.) We're getting ready to make our ADRs and I even bought a membership to touringplans.com but in the back of my mind I'm stressing stressing stressing wondering if I should cancel this trip and save the money.

A part of me feels like life is short and happy memories are priceless, so I want to go for it. And then the conservative part of me feels like it's idiotic to spend $$$ on a trip and not save it for next year when our budget will be much tighter. My husband wants to do whatever makes me happy, but he's suggesting that we should take the trip and then 'we'll figure it out' next year.

Obviously it's a personal decision that depends on so many things but I would really love to hear what others would do / have done in this situation...

It's a hard decision. I have 3 kids. Here is how my life went. I also have some anxiety and we always have money issues but we get by. I work PT so I don't get paid if I don't work. I was FT until I had our first and then I went to the weekends (I am a nurse) so dh watched her. When we had our second, I went to 1 day on the weekend and that was when the gas prices were really high as opposed to just high.

When I was pregnant with my second, towards the end of the pregnancy they told me I would be a c/s because the baby was transverse. My mother said "you should ask for a tubal." But I didn't for a variety of reasons: I knew in my heart I wanted more kids and I also knew no doctor would take a 7 month old pregnant person serious if that crazy lady said can I have a tubal with my c/s. Well the day before the c/s the baby went head first so it was cancelled. A week later I ended up with a c/s because he was shoulder down. No tubal.

I nursed him until around 18 months-It was more for me as a comfort plus he has a dairy allergy and didn't like soy back then. I stopped nursing him and a few months later I found out I was pregnant with #3. I knew at that first appt "I want a repeat c/s and a tubal". Wish was granted, although I went into labor with her and they offered me a VBAC but I wanted them to see those tubes that they were cutting and I didn't want to have to have the surgery a day or week after the birth.

I did not nor do I still regret that decision. Would I love more kids, sure, but I was 34 when I had my 3rd and our house is not big enough and then there is that money factor. We still struggle with money but we get by. I am also working more, dh makes a little more (hopefully a big raise soon for him).

I think I knew when I was pregnant with my son (the 2nd kid) that I wanted another. I never said it but the thought of a tubal then wasn't sitting well with me. I wasn't ready but was ready when I had the 3rd. BTW, we went to Disney in July 2005, I found out I was pregnant the end of June/early July 2005 with #3.
 


ok...my .02 for what they are worth:

1. Disney is not going anywhere (I know- I said it because I had to tell my kids that too)... We pushed off our last trip because we got pregnant AND hubs lost his job so there was just no way to make it happen because we paid $3500 for our home birth VS a Disney Trip. The kids were only slightly bummed because they were getting a brother and instead, started getting excited for him. Baby #4 trumped Disney and it's ok, we will take him when he is 2 and the kids will be just as excited.

2. Anxiety can have a root cause with gut imbalances. There is a link between the brain in your gut and the serotonin levels in your main brain. Meds may help- absolutely, BUT for the sake of your wallet and your health, do some research on GAPS diet and anxiety/depression (because meds are expensive AND if you do have baby #3, you 100% do not want to take medications while pregnant.)
Here is a great place to start:http://kellybroganmd.com/ Dr. Brogan is a psychiatrist that changed her entire mentality when she realized that she was giving pregnant women meds she would never take when pregnant.


3. As long as you are not financing your Disney trip so there will be stress as you try and pay it off, you can Disney now and still have a baby...or wait a year or so for either! There is never a perfect time for anything, but my faith was enough to know that if we had 3 kids or 6 kids, we would find a way to make the finances work. (Besides, Disney is FREE for all kids under 3 haha). I am sure there are other things you can cut out to remove the stress of finances. I would much rather take my kids on vacations than have a larger house or a brand new car, but that is my opinion and I like to stay home so we have to work with our budget anyway.

We went back and forth for TWO YEARS about having baby #4. And it was totally worth the wait. Our son was 2.5 when we went to Disney and he does not remember much of it at all, so if you are like my family...you'll have a couple of Disney trips still to come anyway :)

That being said- having baby #3 is a lot and if I already had my Disney trip paid for, I would GO GO GO GO GO and get a nice break in before our lives were changed again by another kiddo.
Someone else said to start saving for your 12 weeks unpaid leave now and I think that is brilliant!
 
@megandimon haha twinsies! So happy to hear you're expecting, I wish you the best of luck! We have decided for sure to try for baby #3, and so far we are still keeping the trip but haven't booked anything non-refundable yet. Like you said, I have till November to see where we're at (our trip is Dec too, bc we're apparently the same person haha) I am at peace with both decisions so far, and actually, I'm very happy about them!!!

@DISNEYSQUIRRELS hahaha I love it! I'd totally give the baby a Disney-themed name if I got pregnant on vacation :P Walt for a boy and Daisy for a girl

To everyone else who took the time to respond, thank you so much!!! I love this community of people who love Disney as much as I do and understand why my first world problem causes such stress for me. Everyone was so heartfelt and genuine, no one was a mean troll... this is why Disboards is the best!!! :thanks:
 
Great news all around! Good luck with the trip--oh, yeah, and with the pregnancy, too! At least Dec. should be comfortable. Just plan plenty of rest for your self--take breaks as needed, put your feet up, have plenty of fluids to keep hydrated. And have a fabulous time!
 
Update: I'm pregnant, my summer bonus was more than we expected, and we're still planning our December trip!

Congratulations, and by December you should be in the 2nd trimester and hopefully feeling good. I loved the 2nd trimester in my case. The nausea was over, my energy was back to normal and feeling the little one move.
 
My father told me if you keep thinking about something and/or struggle with a decision, then it’s not right.

True. But the problem with this advice for someone who suffers with anxiety means that they would never do anything. Every decision is one that is worried about and stressed over, even the small things.
 

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