Dealing with the Jealous Folks

[TikiTikiFan]

We travel to Disneyland once or twice a year and my family just cannot stand it!

I was the first one on my mom’s side to graduate from college (and with a masters) and I have a great job I worked really hard to get. So I’m sure the difference of incomes is part of what’s driving the jealousy but geez! Whenever I mention we’re going again I’m bombarded with ‘Gee, must be nice!’ comments or the similar approach of ‘Wow, you must be so bored of it by now.’ The jealousy is hardcore when you go to Disney often- I’ve gotten similar sentiments from acquaintances too.

Thing is I save my money and prioritize travel over other life luxuries in order to pull these trips off. I’m not ‘rolling in money’ but even if I was, who cares?

Anyone else get remarks like this about their frequent Disney trips? Just had to vent!

 

[theluckyrabbit]

We get that often from certain relatives. And for similar reasons. Hang in there! We've just learned to share our Disney enthusiasm and plans with like minded friends, supportive and trustworthy relatives, and the DIS Boards. The other people don't need to know what isn't their business. If they make sarcastic or snide comments, we just smile and keep our answer to ourselves. Not worth the trouble. "Must be nice..." Why, yes, it is. It really is!

 

[cruisehopeful]

I get that a little bit, but I just tell people it's what I do. Everyone has hobbies and happy places. DL happens to be one of mine. I also have a continual budget going for my visits. I find people who don't care to budget for anything are the ones most likely to gripe.

 

[disneychrista]

Stop mentioning/talking about it. What you view as them being jealous, they may view as you bragging.

We used to go a couple times per year and I saved so we could. But coworkers would make make snide comments when they found out I was going “ again.” I just stopped telling anyone where I was going.

 

[Carol_]

Stop mentioning/talking about it. What you view as them being jealous, they may view as you bragging.

We used to go a couple times per year and I saved so we could. But coworkers would make make snide comments when they found out I was going “ again.” I just stopped telling anyone where I was going.

So we’re leaving tomorrow for what will be our 4th WDW trip in 5 months. I had planned to go twice this year and my family ignored my plans and made their own on two new occasions... so now I just tell people we’ll be “out of state” or “in Florida” to avoid the eye rolls.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Are these people of similar economic means? I kind of see this as breaking into 2 possible categories:
1. You are around people who truly can't afford it and they don't want to hear about it. They might view it as rubbing it in depending on how you are phrasing it. We had a situation like this with my DW's family as they struggled to keep a roof over their heads so talking about our upcoming cruise was kind of in poor taste. We didn't hide it, just kind of didn't bring it up when at a family gathering.
2. You are around people of similar means but they are not prioritizing travel. I had that with coworkers early in my career as they would be driving much newer cars, going out for lunch everyday, etc. and then hit me with "must be nice" regarding a vacation that cost me 1k. Travel was my priority and if I had lived like them I wouldn't be able to afford it either.

 

[TikiTikiFan]

I don’t really talk to anyone about it that’s made comments, they just see my posts on Instagram and then follow up with the snide comments in person or on social media or at family gatherings. I definitely don’t go around bragging about all my Disney trips, I post pictures on my Instagram/FB and never bring it up in person. Which honestly, if you don’t like it just unfollow me. I’m not going to feel guilty about my success by feeling like I can’t even post pictures on my social media accounts.

I posted a picture of my son smiling in the airport when we were about to leave which resulted in my cousin’s “must be nice” comment on that picture which prompted me to vent.

In the case of most of my family that makes snide comments they are not poor by any means but they don’t prioritize travel. My family is also pretty toxic in general so....

 

[cruisehopeful]

I posted a picture of my son smiling in the airport when we were about to leave which resulted in my cousin’s “must be nice” comment on that picture which prompted me to vent.

I totally get where you'd be off put by that comment. Something I do now when I run into that is that I think to myself something like, "Yes, it is nice. I am truly blessed," or, "Yes! I am so lucky!" or, when I am not at my best, "I get to go because I budgeted. You don't get to go because you are irresponsible with your money." Maybe you can come up with an internal dialog that lets you forget about whatever dumb comment someone makes.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

... I posted a picture of my son smiling in the airport when we were about to leave which resulted in my cousin’s “must be nice” comment on that picture which prompted me to vent.

In the case of most of my family that makes snide comments they are not poor by any means but they don’t prioritize travel. My family is also pretty toxic in general so....

I find that when someone makes a toxic/snide/sarcastic/negative/etc. remark, responding with gratitude, as the pp suggests, really is helpful. Whether I respond out loud/in print or silently, the reminder to focus on the positive and on my blessings really does change the mood.

 

[lalasmama]

I get the "must be nice" comments occasionally too. On Halloween, everything lined up amazingly, and I happened to get a day trip to Disneyland. We live in northern Oregon. There was a flight sale (around $55 each way), a friend-of-a-friend signed me into the parks, and since I wasn't going multiple days, there was no hotel cost involved. From beginning to end, my trip was about $250. Extravagant? Perhaps. But it wouldn't have happened without that amazingly sweet young lady insisting on signing me in on that day.

I usually just say something to the effect of, "There's no way I would be able to do this if Hub's wasn't a retired soldier," or "It's a huge blessing from a friend allowing me to go this time!" We budget each penny of our travel, and prioritize travel above other forms of entertainment. I think that's where my frustration comes in with the "must be nice" comments--Hubs and I budget and save for these trips, forgo other luxuries, limit Starbucks, etc., to allow us our "fun money" budgets--and people act like that amount of savings wasn't a year-long exercise in delayed gratification!

Thankfully, most people are happy, or at least not blatantly poopy-head about it...

 

[Summer2018]

We travel to Disneyland once or twice a year and my family just cannot stand it!

I was the first one on my mom’s side to graduate from college (and with a masters) and I have a great job I worked really hard to get. So I’m sure the difference of incomes is part of what’s driving the jealousy but geez! Whenever I mention we’re going again I’m bombarded with ‘Gee, must be nice!’ comments or the similar approach of ‘Wow, you must be so bored of it by now.’ The jealousy is hardcore when you go to Disney often- I’ve gotten similar sentiments from acquaintances too.

Thing is I save my money and prioritize travel over other life luxuries in order to pull these trips off. I’m not ‘rolling in money’ but even if I was, who cares?

Anyone else get remarks like this about their frequent Disney trips? Just had to vent!

All the time. My nickname at work is “Disney.”

 

[Summer2018]

I don’t really talk to anyone about it that’s made comments, they just see my posts on Instagram and then follow up with the snide comments in person or on social media or at family gatherings. I definitely don’t go around bragging about all my Disney trips, I post pictures on my Instagram/FB and never bring it up in person. Which honestly, if you don’t like it just unfollow me. I’m not going to feel guilty about my success by feeling like I can’t even post pictures on my social media accounts.

I posted a picture of my son smiling in the airport when we were about to leave which resulted in my cousin’s “must be nice” comment on that picture which prompted me to vent.

In the case of most of my family that makes snide comments they are not poor by any means but they don’t prioritize travel. My family is also pretty toxic in general so....

The comments are rude, and you don’t have to take it. When people comment inappropriately on my FB posts, I delete them.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

... We budget each penny of our travel, and prioritize travel above other forms of entertainment. I think that's where my frustration comes in with the "must be nice" comments--Hubs and I budget and save for these trips, forgo other luxuries, limit Starbucks, etc., to allow us our "fun money" budgets--and people act like that amount of savings wasn't a year-long exercise in delayed gratification!

Thankfully, most people are happy, or at least not blatantly poopy-head about it...

I think this is where a lot of the misunderstanding comes in with these negative comments. Many people really don't understand how much work goes into budgeting for Disney trips and how long it can take to save the money to make these trips work. Yes, they are luxuries and they are very much appreciated when you know how hard you worked to save and plan. We budget and save for a year to renew our APs every year, paying in full at the ticket booths every time. It takes a lot of work and planning, but it makes us appreciate each visit to the parks that much more when we remember how precious our passes are! Who cares if other people scoff? We know how much those passes really cost us in dollars, in hard work, and in sacrifice. And for us, it's all worth it.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

We are about to take our 4th trip this year in a few days. I get it from a lot of people. I tell them "We have annual passes so I only have to pay for a room" and they usually say "Oh, that's a good idea!" Little do they know how much Yacht Club, Club Level really cost

 

[TikiTikiFan]

I think this is where a lot of the misunderstanding comes in with these negative comments. Many people really don't understand how much work goes into budgeting for Disney trips and how long it can take to save the money to make these trips work.

I think this nails it. There’s so much budgeting involved and if it’s something you really want, you can do it with some self discipline and patience. I work a second job freelance writing and that is basically my Disney fund. I work hard for this, dang it. And honestly I have fun planning out my budgets haha!

 

[BadPinkTink]

I don't get it as much now, but it when I do its mostly about the travel I did in my 20's and early 30's. I get the snide comments and oh isnt it nice that mommy and daddy could pay for all that from people who were / are in the same financial position as me BUT who didn't prioritize travel. They would have been earning the same amount as I did, but would be out in the bars and clubs every weekend, buy all the latest gadgets and technology, wear expensive clothes, go to the nail salon etc etc.

They didnt see that I drank soda in bars and clubs, that I did my own nails, that I economized as much as possible etc etc.

 

[azdisneylover]

Vent away, sweetie, we all have heard the snide remarks. Life is too short to worry about the mean/rude/snide remarks. Like others have said, remember you worked, saved, budgeted and planned for these trips. You should be proud. Enjoy your trips and know you have lots of Disney lovers on these boards who understand and wish you nothing but a great trip filled with lots of pixie dust and chocolate!

 

[tink89]

I have come to understand that only people who love DL will understand your love for it. I just do not share plans with people who don't care or with people who i know would love to go but just can't afford it. If I do happen to tell some and they respond with a negative comment I just say "its our happy place" and i remember to share with them anymore. I have some friends and family who love DL and we make each other "jealous" when we are there by sending each other pics. But its all in fun. Find your self some Disney loving friends.

 

[nutsosmom]

I just smile and say "Yes, yes it is nice".

 

[RedVines2001]

Life’s too short to have to deal with stuff like this, even if it’s from family. I have toxic family members too. Close ones. After a long time I just decided to cut them out of my life and honestly everything has been so much better. Your life is your life. You don’t owe anyone any justification. If theyre people you can live without it’s worth considering cutting them out, especially on social media.