Do you know anyone with zero living relatives?

[Grumpy's Gal]

I’ve just been thinking about this since the weekend.....

My dad is in a nursing home. There is a lady there who sits out in the common area. She is also a resident there. We see her often when we visit and we say hello. We told her our names and she said her name is Shirley. She is 90. When we’ve talked to her on several occasions, she seems to know what she’s talking about.

We mentioned to the nurse that we’d visit with Shirley while we’re waiting on my dad to be ready to see us. And she said Shirley would like to visit because she has no family. NOT ONE LIVING RELATIVE.

Whoa! I can’t imagine. Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any relatives?

 

[sonnyjane]

I’ve just been thinking about this since the weekend.....

My dad is in a nursing home. There is a lady there who sits out in the common area. She is also a resident there. We see her often when we visit and we say hello. We told her our names and she said her name is Shirley. She is 90. When we’ve talked to her on several occasions, she seems to know what she’s talking about.

We mentioned to the nurse that we’d visit with Shirley while we’re waiting on my dad to be ready to see us. And she said Shirley would like to visit because she has no family. NOT ONE LIVING RELATIVE.

Whoa! I can’t imagine. Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any relatives?

If I outlive my mom and DH goes first, that will be me I bet. I have two siblings but I doubt they’ll live past 50 the way they live.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

If I outlive my mom and DH goes first, that will be me I bet. I have two siblings but I doubt they’ll live past 50 the way they live.

Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? Nieces? Nephews?

 

[sonnyjane]

Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? Nieces? Nephews?

Parents are only children. I suppose if my siblings ever get out of jail/rehab and lead productive lives I might get a niece or nephew but otherwise no. I mean my DH has siblings but those aren’t my blood relatives and we don’t really have a relationship so I guess I didn’t consider them for this. And if you read the childless thread you’ll see I won’t be having any haha.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Parents are only children. I suppose if my siblings ever get out of jail/rehab and lead productive lives I might get a niece or nephew but otherwise no. I mean my DH has siblings but those aren’t my blood relatives and we don’t really have a relationship so I guess I didn’t consider them for this. And if you read the childless thread you’ll see I won’t be having any haha.

Would you like some of my relatives? I have so many that I haven’t met them all! It starts out that both of my parents were each one of five children....

 

[kimblebee]

My husband has only his brother. His mom (in my opinion [from what I’ve heard]) drove all family away except her mom. His dad left when he was 10 and he (husband) doesn’t know anyone on that side..doesn’t even know if dad is still alive. So, they only have each other.

My family has definitely taken him in as one of us and he loves having family. He actually calls my dad dad and it’s a big deal.

 

[sonnyjane]

Would you like some of my relatives? I have so many that I haven’t met them all! It starts out that both of my parents were each one of five children....

Ha. No thanks! I enjoy the solitude.

 

[tvguy]

A woman I work with has no living relatives. She is in her 60's, parents passed years ago, her only brother died 15 years ago. He was older Cousins have all passed, they were older. She has no one to care for her if she needs it in her later years, and nobody to leave her estate to.
Not uncommon at all really among the elderly.
When my mom was in rehab and a Board and Care home I came to see her every day but 11 days the last 13 months of her life, (yes, I kept track of the days I was not able to see her) and in both settings, the staff commented how helpful that was to them when there were issues that needed to be dealt with, and added that how many elderly people literally are the end of their family line with no relatives.
At the board and care home there was a lady with Alzheimers, who was 97 I think. The board and care home operator said that woman's children literally had all already passed from old age, one just months before. She apparently had her kids at 18 and 19, so they were in their late 70's when they died.

 

[Nayan]

I have none. My parents had me late in life and everyone is dead, either through old age or life choices.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

A man down the street outlived his only child who never had kids of his own. My neighbor is 96 years old. While he still is walking well, his hearing is shot. But a few years ago, he started saying things about being lonely since his family and friends are long gone.

 

[Snowflakey]

My neighbor doesn't have any I've been her neighbor for 25 years. Never said too much as she kept to herself and really didn't care for anyone and was rather mean to all of us who lived around her. My DH would always snow plow her driveway over the years and I always would wave going by or stop and say hi if she was out when I took my walks. She took ill just over a month ago. I knew something wasn't right and went to her house to check. She wasn't good. I called 911 and the day after when I went to check on her at the hospital I became her POA for medical and financial. Talk about a shock. I just couldn't leave her and let the hospital case manager take over it. So for the next 3 weeks I spent days there and I cared for her 2 dogs. In that little time we got to know each other so well. I got a call from the doctor saying he thought her time has come so I rushed down and spent 3 hours that night in her room. We laughed, I cried, and we had a great time. She never thought she was going to die....but she did earlier this month.

So now I've become her Special Administrator to her estate. She didn't have much of anything. Left her small home to charity. I'm in the process of going through her things, donating what I can.

I don't know what it is but I just want to make sure everything is done correctly for her. To honor someone I really don't know. What I do know is she is happy now and in a much better place with lots of love.

 

[Klayfish]

I think there's a difference between literally having no living relatives and not having any you are in contact with at all. For many there could be a second cousin, great nephew, etc...just they or their family lost touch many years ago so they may not even be aware of their existence.

I lost touch with my family many years ago. So I'm sure I have living relatives from a literal standpoint, but practically speaking it's just me.

 

[RangerPooh]

Would you like some of my relatives? I have so many that I haven’t met them all! It starts out that both of my parents were each one of five children....

My mom is the 4th of 5 kids, so her side of the family is covered. DHs mom was the third youngest of 18 kids (Irish Catholic family). DH has not met all of his family as only about half immigrated to the states, the rest remained in Ireland. That side of his family is huge, but for various reasons we've elected to not keep in touch with them.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I have a sort-of uncle with no living relatives. My grandmother fostered him back in the 1940's--his mom had serious mental issues and couldn't raise him, but was still alive, so adoption wasn't an option. After my grandmother passed, my mom and aunt continued to raise him. "George" has serious mental issues himself--never married, never held a job, been on SSDI his entire life. He's now 79 and has lived in a nursing home for 10 years. I write to him, send him a little money, a few small gifts, etc. My cousin also keeps in touch with him, but technically, we're not related to him. It's possible he has some distant cousins or something, somewhere.

 

[leebee]

I had 2 "aunts" with no living relatives. I say "aunts" because that's how we thought of them, but we are in no way related to them; both just long-time close family friends. Neither married, one had no siblings at all and the other's sibling never married and passed away before she did. We were very close to both these women, who knew each other quite well from church. Notice I am speaking in the past-tense; both passed away in the past 5 years, one at 96 and the other at 98. They were the last "relatives" on my mother's side of the family; now I am the oldest person in the family of that lineage.

 

[amberpi]

One of my dearest friends - late 30s- has no living relatives that she knows. She was adopted by a single mother who was as only child and her mom passed and her grandparents are gone. So now sometimes she does holidays with my family and a couple of other friends. She's so fantastic I'm sure she'll never be alone.

 

[CynBeth]

That will probably be me. My dad who passed when I was a teen was an only child. My mom is an only child. I am an only child. My DH and I don’t have kids. The cousins we were close to are gone. My husband’s family does not like me because I am a different religion. It is important for him to see them on certain holidays so I go with him despite how uncomfortable I feel around them. We tried inviting them for certain of my holidays for a few years after we were married but they kept turning us down so we stopped.

 

[Colleen27]

I’ve just been thinking about this since the weekend.....

My dad is in a nursing home. There is a lady there who sits out in the common area. She is also a resident there. We see her often when we visit and we say hello. We told her our names and she said her name is Shirley. She is 90. When we’ve talked to her on several occasions, she seems to know what she’s talking about.

We mentioned to the nurse that we’d visit with Shirley while we’re waiting on my dad to be ready to see us. And she said Shirley would like to visit because she has no family. NOT ONE LIVING RELATIVE.

Whoa! I can’t imagine. Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any relatives?

Yes. My mom had a friend who chose not to have children because of her husband's genetic condition. Wife passed away a few years ago. Husband has no living relatives now, and my mom and a long-time neighbor are the only ones who visit/look in on him in his assisted living facility. There's another woman in one of her knitting groups who has outlived both of her kids, her husband, and her siblings. She does have one grandchild, so she isn't entirely without family, but she is pretty much alone because the grandson is military/deployed and stationed out of state when he is home.

I wouldn't think it is all that unusual for people who don't have kids to end up with no living relatives in their old age, or at least no living relatives close enough to visit them in an old-age home. I don't have any living siblings, so if I didn't have kids I'd almost certainly have gotten there eventually myself.

 

[tvguy]

I think there's a difference between literally having no living relatives and not having any you are in contact with at all. For many there could be a second cousin, great nephew, etc...just they or their family lost touch many years ago so they may not even be aware of their existence.

I lost touch with my family many years ago. So I'm sure I have living relatives from a literal standpoint, but practically speaking it's just me.

A Veteran's group here holds a memorial service every three months at the Sacramento Valley National Cemetery for Veterans who died with no next of kin. Because these people were Veterans, the Department of Defense has pretty extensive family histories on them. I was asking them about the services, and the VA takes every months to search for any possible next if kin before internment. Just in this one cemetery they have about seven people every three months who have no family left. The VA takes care of the plot and casket, the Veterans group steps up and holds the quarterly memorial service.

 

[gemini2727]

My neighbor doesn't have any I've been her neighbor for 25 years. Never said too much as she kept to herself and really didn't care for anyone and was rather mean to all of us who lived around her. My DH would always snow plow her driveway over the years and I always would wave going by or stop and say hi if she was out when I took my walks. She took ill just over a month ago. I knew something wasn't right and went to her house to check. She wasn't good. I called 911 and the day after when I went to check on her at the hospital I became her POA for medical and financial. Talk about a shock. I just couldn't leave her and let the hospital case manager take over it. So for the next 3 weeks I spent days there and I cared for her 2 dogs. In that little time we got to know each other so well. I got a call from the doctor saying he thought her time has come so I rushed down and spent 3 hours that night in her room. We laughed, I cried, and we had a great time. She never thought she was going to die....but she did earlier this month.

So now I've become her Special Administrator to her estate. She didn't have much of anything. Left her small home to charity. I'm in the process of going through her things, donating what I can.

I don't know what it is but I just want to make sure everything is done correctly for her. To honor someone I really don't know. What I do know is she is happy now and in a much better place with lots of love.

What a kind thing to do, I'm sure it meant so much to her!