Do you regret not having more kids?

[HannaBelle]

Our "kids" are 26 & 22 and they are wonderful, I could not love them more. Our daughter is in college, so she is home over her breaks and for summer. Our son just moved out last fall to start his 1st "real job" after grad school. I am starting to regret not having more kids. (I am turning 49 this year so that is NOT happening now!) I miss having them at home.

My son has informed me children are not even in his 10 year plan. He is not even in a serious relationship and has decided to go back to school to get his doctorate. My daughter has said she does not want to have kids. Obviously they have to do what is best for them. We have raised them to be self sufficient adults and they are doing good.

My husband and I own a small business, we are crazy busy. I would love to get a dog, but it would be at home alone toooo often.

I am starting to feel like we should have had 4 but in our 20's, 2 was the limit and I had no regrets then.

Is this just being an empty nester?

 

[dish rag]

I never felt as you do.

 

[Darcy03231]

We have four and two fosters (all adults now). I've never felt like we should have had more!

 

[RUDisney]

You can always adopt an older child if you feel the need to have another child badly enough.

We wanted 2 kids. We got 2 kids, a boy and a girl. We adopted them. They are 23 and 24 now.

For now, I'm taking my nieces and nephews on vacations with me when I feel the need to do things that kids would love.

 

[holden]

I can't imagine having more than I have now.

 

[wvjules]

Yes. I wish I had one more. I was an only child and DD is an only child. I wish she had a sibling.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

No, we never felt that way. There's a lot more to the number of kids you choose to have than just how it feels when they all leave (which will eventually happen no matter how many you have, right?). Namely energy and monetary expension for 18+ years for each. (I think the latest numbers were around $240K per child not counting college!) Our hands were full with two kids, dogs, careers and an elderly mother to take care of, that was enough! I do think a dog can help ease some of the loss, there are many older or elderly dogs in shelters looking for quiet homes who wouldn't mind staying alone - something to think about! But yes, the empty nest syndrome can be difficult, no doubt.

 

[AuntieMe3]

Our daughter is 21 and when she was growing up I really wished we had more kids but it was beyond our control. I had cancer and had to have a hysterectomy fairly young. Our daughter also says she doesn't want kids but we'll see if it stays that way. I'm happy with being an auntie/pretend grandma to my niece and nephews and our close friends who have younger children/grandchildren they share with us.

 

[kdonnel]

No.

I am looking forward to my kids being adults and for the most part it being just my wife and I once again.

 

[mumto3girls]

No, we planned on 2 and ended up with 3. I wouldn’t give our little surprise back for anything, but she was definitely not in the plan. I am happy with 3 but think I would have been fine with 2, of course my two youngest are still at home, maybe I’ll feel differently when they’re gone.

 

[5kidsmommy]

Nope, we had a bunch quickly. The youngest of the 5 will be 18 in a couple months. I love my kids, I loved raising them and I can't imagine life without them but I also love that we are almost empty nesters.

 

[Southernmiss]

We had 4. 3 boys and a girl. Our daughter is 18 and the nest will be empty in August when she heads to college.

Dh and I are already trying to figure out what's next.

I have had days when I wish we had one or 2 more kids. But those are fleeting moments and at this point when I can see the empty nest coming fast I am ok with being 'done'.

I am done with the late nights, the endless practices, the dreaded parent meetings and 'we need parents to.. .'pleas, the school paperwork, the teacher conferences, the sports banquets, the endless fees for activities, etc., etc. I've got parent of a last child senioritis. Been there, done that, have too many tshirts.

 

[easyas123]

I also have two adult kids, both in early or mid-20's. I never planned to have more than one, but then mother nature had the last say! haha - anyway, to answer the question, no - we never wished we had more kids. I'll take it even farther....both ours have moved out and we LOVE it. We love having adult kids, we currently work together (same Company, different locations but interact almost daily as a matter of work, and live close by each other) but love having the house to ourselves.
I can honestly say if I never have grandkids I'd be more than okay with it (yes, I know your grandkids are great, and yes I am sure you are sure I'll change my mind once I have them but please - it's okay for todays young women to say they don't want kids and it's okay for today's grandma-aged woman to say they aren't into having grandkids. Not - I know - that I have any choice in the matter!!! And yes, when they arrive I'm sure I'll be happy to meet them. But honestly, I am just not into babies....at all. )

 

[tzolkin]

Nope. I'm good

But seriously, yes, I think you are having issues with being an empty nester rather than really wanting more kids.

You also specifically mentioned no plans for grandchildren, so that sounds like what may be making you even a bit more "empty" of an empty nester. We have always been absolutely certain that we did not want any more kids and there have never been even any fleeting moments of regret. But, that said, my husband really loves babies and kids and would definitely be a little sad if we don't have any grandchildren down the road. (I will be fine without any.)

 

[easyas123]

No.

I am looking forward to my kids being adults and for the most part it being just my wife and I once again.

It's ...awesome!
Of course, our eldest has been making noise about moving back home while he finishes saving for a house.
At least it's summer - perfect timing as we always need help with the mowing around the farm!

 

[MarkLT1]

We have two kiddos that are still relatively young (6 and 10).

I gotta say, playing man-to-man defense is hectic enough. I don't know how well I'd handle a 2-3 zone.

 

[Searc]

LOL No.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

No. After several miscarriages, I am grateful for the two I had.

Now I have one grandchild and a second on the way.

 

[luvsJack]

Awwww, OP, sometimes I feel just like you. I have 3 and all are on their own now. DD is 14 years younger than her youngest brother. So, when they moved out was when I was the busiest with dd. I was able to enjoy their young adulthood without wishful thinking of them still being home.

Now she is an adult and sometimes I miss having a baby to cuddle or my girl to run to McDs and get a frappe with. I do NOT miss the 2 am feedings, the sick nights, the 1001 requests from school to raise money for whatever, the long nights of homework when it piled up or got put off, the calls to "Mom can you pick us up? XYZ's Mom got hung up" The staying up to pick them up from the dance at midnight. Yeah, none of that.

I am blessed that I can just go get one of my granddaughters if need for a kid in the house overwhelms me. But as much as I adore those sweet girls, its not the same as having a kid in the house all the time.


As for your question, do I really wish we had had more kids? No, not really.

 

[mjkacmom]

Nope, we had a bunch quickly. The youngest of the 5 will be 18 in a couple months. I love my kids, I loved raising them and I can't imagine life without them but I also love that we are almost empty nesters.

That’s funny, our kids are in the same age range (17, 17, 18, 21, 23), and I’m struggling facing the empty nest. Heck I’m struggling only having 2 left at home, living as a family of 4! However, I think I’d feel this way even if we had more than 5.