Give me some advice on this...

[samshane]

Okay - DH is back...

BUT - our otherwise well-behaved children are having a bit of an attitude with him and it's ticking me off.

This past year they did well - got excellent grades, excelled in activities, behaved for me... I really couldn't have asked for much more. But I went to work yesterday (I work part-time a few hours a week) and when I came home it was like they were different kids.

DD9 was fine - she always is. Rather laid back. But DD11 and DS7 were little monsters. DH told them to clean their rooms - they threw FITS and refused. DS was giving him such attitude.

I came in - and it was like everything changed... they did what I asked (I told them they'd better clean their rooms ASAP), and gave me no back-talk. Then last night we had a talk of what I expected and how they were to behave for their own father. The rest of the night went fine.

I guess it's a readjustment - but the way the 2 of them treated him really set my blood boiling. I hope today goes better... anyone else have this readjustment issue with their kids?

 

[lovemygoofy]

It's very normal. Your children are probably have readjustment issues to who does the parenting and punishing right now. For the last year it has been you for the majority of the time and now dad comes back and messes up their strcture/routine.

Another motivation behind their behavior can be resentment that their dad ever left. It's an emotional thing that anyone child or adult can go through. It takes time to get back into a normal parenting routine with your kids and both parents.

With your oldest it can be that the pressure was on to be the helper and now that dad is back giving back the "power" per se can be a change in transition for your child.

Talk with them and introduce dad back into the routine and parenting slowly. Let them get used to going back to the way things were but really it's about new routines for your family as you all have changed in the past year. It's all very normal.

 

[sbeaulieu]

I agree with all that lovemygoofy said.

Also, did your unit give you any information on how to handle this? We got mass amounts of pamphlets that discussed how to reintegrate different age groups with their mom's/dad's. There are a lot of good websites...just google redeployment familes