How to 'explain' a solo trip to people?

[b5sgqueen]

I have traveled solo to a number of places and have actually had people ask me, "you husband let you do this by yourself?!" like I could not make a decision on my own,
I usually turn it around on them if they push for why I'm going solo and ask if they've ever done that. I have been surprised by the reactions as I've had a lot of people say that they are too frightened to go by themselves or always wanted to go somewhere that their partner didn't want to and so never went.
I find a fair amount of people think it's really cool and brave(I've had several people say that to me) when you go somewhere solo. Disney is a unique case but I've actually asked people, "what could you accomplish if you didn't have the kids in tow" and they stop and consider how much they could do or the different things they could take on. Not saying people shouldn't go with others, but, I've found that there are a lot of places that if I didn't go myself, I wouldn't go and, now, I actually get a bit annoyed to have other people along.

A bit of rambling there, but, I would say, tell them you love Disney and you won't let the lack of other people's imaginations keep you from going.

 

[Lilsia]

Honestly those who are the most negative about solo travel are those who dont have the confidence and feel threatened by your confidence, self esteem and independence. They are negative because you are doing something they want to do but are to afraid to do.

This is so true! Or they are jealous that they are unable to go to places like WDW. I have found that over the years, the people who are the most opinionated about my going are the ones that can not go.

 

[StageTek]

Very interesting responses.

I know from experience that people in general are interested in the "why"; why people travel solo. The problem seems to arise with how one hears the question or response.

That "Oh..." response that bothers some people my be not pity but not knowing what to say. Asking for more info may not be intrusive but genuine curiosity. Asking how you can afford it my be looking for more information rather than judgment. People thinking a solo trip is weird are more likely to be introverts than rude. Friends and family who push-back are probably expressing concern about safety because they haven't experienced a solo trip anywhere.

We have no control over how others respond. But we can look inward at how we react to that response. When we are worried or concerned about how others think then we find it extremely awkward to go against their norm – the THE norm; THEIR norm. I'm happy to see so many people replying to this interesting thread with stories of how they changed the mind of others by explaining.

Spencer Wright, I hope some of these experiences help you overcome the extreme awkwardness you feel when having to explain. I suspect more people in your life are curious and interested rather than judgmental and will react with positive support when you tell them why.

Or you could just quote Mary Poppins...

 

[BostonEd]

"I'll be on vacation next June"
"Right on. Where are you going?"
Bust out the air guitar and start singing "I'm Going to Disneyland!" by Dada. Walk away without any further comment.

 

[AliceNDinah]

I agree with above posters, why do you have to explain??

Im a solo traveller, I travel to California and Disneyland every June solo (June 2018 was my 8th trip ) As well as my annual California trip, I regularly travel solo to various European cities and have doe for as long as I can remember.

For example, next weekend I am travelling to Lisbon Portugal for The Web Summit Conference. I have never been to Lisbon and I dont speak Portuguese.

I have been to Disneyland Paris solo, I have done a 12 day 7 country bus tour around Europe solo and so much more.

I dont have a problem flying solo, staying in hotels solo, eating in restaurants solo. Its other people who have issues and think it odd, but I say fudge that.

I have the money and I can get time off work, Im streetwise, am very aware of my personal safety and I do what I want when I want.

Honestly those who are the most negative about solo travel are those who dont have the confidence and feel threatened by your confidence, self esteem and independence. They are negative because you are doing something they want to do but are to afraid to do.

Dont be limited by other peoples feelings and low self esteem. Take flight and make you happy.

Also there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

I can be extremely happy and content when alone but often feel the loneliest when in a group of people

Couldn't love this post more if I tried---AMEN to everything.

 

[GPC0321]

I mentioned to a group of colleagues once not long ago that I really wanted to go on a solo trip to WDW. Their responses were everything from nodding in understanding to giving me a weird look and one blurting out, "By yourself??" to which I replied, "Heck yes! Do whatever I want whenever I want!" Some understood the appeal. Some said they could never do it.

I'm still planning that solo trip...although I'm starting to think I might do a solo Universal trip first. I've never been there! I want to go....BY MYSELF! (LOL!)

 

[gypsy_at_heart]

I travel solo all the time. Mostly because I have more vacation time and more disposable income than most of my friends. I love to travel, I like to see exotic places, and I just don’t see the point in waiting around for people to have the same time off, the same funds and the same desire to go as I do. I’d be waiting most of my life and that is not the way I like to live.

People have asked and I tell them those exact reasons, and when I’m honest, frank and open, I usually get honest responses back. Most people say they are scared to go on their own or worry everyone will be pitying them or staring at them, they would feel insecure etc. I’ve been told many times how brave people think I am for just travelling... which I still find a bit odd, but ok. But the thing I find the strangest is that I’ve never had anyone pitty or judge me for my reasons, so I honestly think the only ones judging are ourselves when we let our insecurities run wild.

I say just be honest, be confident, it’s really not a big deal to go alone. And if you don’t make a big deal of it, no one else will.

 

[Lilsia]

I travel solo all the time. Mostly because I have more vacation time and more disposable income than most of my friends. I love to travel, I like to see exotic places, and I just don’t see the point in waiting around for people to have the same time off, the same funds and the same desire to go as I do. I’d be waiting most of my life and that is not the way I like to live.

People have asked and I tell them those exact reasons, and when I’m honest, frank and open, I usually get honest responses back. Most people say they are scared to go on their own or worry everyone will be pitying them or staring at them, they would feel insecure etc. I’ve been told many times how brave people think I am for just travelling... which I still find a bit odd, but ok. But the thing I find the strangest is that I’ve never had anyone pitty or judge me for my reasons, so I honestly think the only ones judging are ourselves when we let our insecurities run wild.

I say just be honest, be confident, it’s really not a big deal to go alone. And if you don’t make a big deal of it, no one else will.

Well said!

 

[StageTek]

I honestly think the only ones judging are ourselves when we let our insecurities run wild.

I already "liked" your terrific post but wanted to highlight this statement. We are often our own worst enemies when it comes to how we think people are treating us.

 

[Brian Noble]

"I'm going on vacation on <dates>."
"Cool! Where are you going?"
"Disney World."
"Fun! Who are you going with?"

Isn't that what you find extremely awkward?

Answer: "No one."

Do I find it awkward? No. Life is too short.

 

[StageTek]

I understand, Brian. But that's exactly what Spencer finds extremely awkward. You don't find it awkward, but he does.

For people who aren't like you that question, the answer and then the response is awkward. Simple for you. Not so for others.

 

[bryanb]

There are people in my office who have the opinion that Disney is for kids. I used to think that this was a weird opinion, but now I realize there are a TON of people who feel that way. A lot of them have kids and would never want to go without kids -- probably because they don't sufficiently appreciate what WDW offers them as adults. To have them hear that I'm going as a solo adult. That would probably blow their minds.

Why do I care what they think? Well, I'm a key person in my office so I can't get away with ignoring it if people think I have weird judgment. Of course, I'm also silently judging them when they say that Disney is just for kids. (No joke, I broke up with a girl once who kept saying that Disney was only fun for kids... while we were at Disneyland on tickets I had bought for her.)

So my solution, like any divisive topic like politics or religion, is to not bring it up at work.

 

[Brian Noble]

I understand, Brian. But that's exactly what Spencer finds extremely awkward. You don't find it awkward, but he does.

For people who aren't like you that question, the answer and then the response is awkward. Simple for you. Not so for others.

That's fair, and I used to find it very awkward too. I've since decided that life is too short.

 

[liane layman]

I have an absolutely burning desire to visit the DLR in 2019, and am thinking about visiting for a few days in May.

However, due to several factors, there is a %95 chance it would be a solo trip. I am okay with that, and understand the different Pro's and Con's.

The issue I am having is how to 'explain' to people I am going solo. I find the thought extremely awkward. Anyone else encounter this before? Any tips?

I went to Las Vegas in Sept by myself and people asked me who are you going with? I don't know why people need to know this. When I worked at the Insurance co. I traveled a lot and people were always asking me who you going with? What difference does it make if you go by yourself or with somebody. But if you must just say a friend. Most people I know can't afford to travel. I have fun by myself. I've even been to Disney by myself. I went to Europe once and this mother and daughter were traveling. Somebody asked the lady, your husband didn't want to come? I don't know why people feel they need to ask about you traveling along or with somebody or why so and so didn't come. When I came back from Vegas somebody said to me, I'm glad you had a great time even though you went by yourself. So what? So I went by myself, big deal. Why or why or why is that the kiss of death?

 

[liane layman]

Hey I figured if I lived my live the way other people wanted me to live I'd never travel, be married to the wrong person and un happy, not have my own condo, not be happy in my job, etc...

 

[goofyintoronto]

I understand, Brian. But that's exactly what Spencer finds extremely awkward. You don't find it awkward, but he does.

For people who aren't like you that question, the answer and then the response is awkward. Simple for you. Not so for others.

Yes exactly. I admit that I find it awkward when people ask who im going with. I use to lie and tell people im meeting a friend there. I guess that was my way of avoiding any awkwardness or judgement. Im very confident with my solo trips, and i don't care what others think, BUT, I just dont want to deal with the "why are you going alone?", or the awkward "Oh" reply. Im more open about it now...although depending on who im dealing with, i might still fib. Simply because i want to end the convo and move on and not deal with "defending myself" or "explaining".

 

[indoshakespeare]

I told my co-workers that I was meeting my friends. They didn't know that "friends" meant Mickey Mouse and Co.

 

[Bakedinspace]

I can totally relate! I use to get this weird feeling of being treated like a child or looked down on for my choice of vacation. Solo or not, I could feel that hint of judgment lingering on their face. The major breakthrough for me was; tell yourself why you want to go. Animal Kingdom is as amazing as the Omaha Zoo, but with roller coasters and so many knowledgeable people sharing insight on how our species affects the planet. Hollywood studios has such great character (Not to mention characters!) With some cool animation history built right into the park along with great performance art to boot. Epcot is truly an International Gateway, the people are real and of a multitude of ethnic and culteral backgrounds. It's like visiting the host city of an Olympic venue every day of the week. And roller coasters. And Magic Kingdom, the hardest park for judgmental people to connect to. Have you ever enjoyed a movie or book where it can almost pull you right into that world? The Kingdom brings you to that happy place you could so easily go to as a child; but the shame you now feel is because others tell you "it's time to be an adult" and going there alone just gives them more amunition to jeer. Going solo gives you the chance to take things in at your own pace, and just let the magic happen. Maybe it gives you less to worry about when a cute cast member and you hit it off, or meet some cool people in the single rider lines; gush for a moment about your favorite films and characters.

If it ever feels awkward, remind yourself why you go... It's for you.

"Where are you going for your vacation"
"I'm headed to Disney World"
"Oh, who are you going with?"
"I'm going solo"
"Oh... huh"
"TREAT YO SELF"

 

[Simba's Mom]

What I often find interesting is when I check in the CMs say "You're here by yourself? Good for you!"

 

[com_op_2000]

The issue I am having is how to 'explain' to people I am going solo. I find the thought extremely awkward. Anyone else encounter this before? Any tips?

What I tell people is:
Whoever pays the piper calls the music.





If your family/friends wants you to go on a vacation and they are willing to pay for it, go and have a great time on them. If you are paying for the trip you go where and when you choose to go.