Independence for 11 year olds

[Spotthecat]

Cruising in February with my family of 5. We'd like to give the 11 year a bit more liberty about the ship, let him sign in and out of the clubs, etc, and go to events without having to drag his little brothers. I'd like for him to be able to get some popcorn or a smoothie if out and about by himself without having to come to us. How has everyone else dealt with this? What's a reasonable budget per day that we can let him "splurge" without having to come to us? Would saying he gets 10$ a day for misc be good enough? I can't remember the prices of the smoothies frankly...but I know popcorn refills were cheap. We'd have to activate his card for purchases, and I know he's pretty responsible and wouldn't just go nuts buying souvenirs and such, lol.

 

[pascalspal]

If I remember correctly smoothies at Frozone Treats were $3.95 for a regular and $5.25 for a large (not including a tip if you would like to tip on that sort of thing)! The non-alcoholic drinks of the day are usually around $4-$5 as well I believe. If you are going on the dream or fantasy gelato from Vanellopes can range from $3-$5.50 not including the larger sundaes/challenges. Knowing that might help you set a budget for him. We have always had older kids be responsible for their own treats. Never had a set limit on money but had 1-2 'treats' per day whether that was a smoothie, gelato, popcorn, arcade time, or a special drink at dinner. It was specified that souvenirs were to be discussed with the parents! An eye was kept on it but everyone has always been responsible!

The key is just setting guidelines whether that's a monetary value or a given number of purchased treats! It has always worked out well for us!

 

[lanejudy]

Just be aware that charging privileges are either "on" or "off" -- I don't believe you can limit his spending to $X per day or $Z for the cruise (though you can have his charging privileges suspended). If he's the kind of kid who can be responsible and follow "family rules" about it, no problem. If he's the kind of kid easily influenced to treat the group or recharge their arcade cards, then you might want to think about it. Such things have been reported in the past.

Enjoy your cruise!

 

[lorimay]

On our second cruise when our son was 11, we gave him charging privileges and freedom to leave the clubs.
He had a ball buying pins for his lanyards, he even received a certificate from the staff for his participation in the pin trading meets.

 

[PrincessArlena'sDad]

We allowed DS charging privileges for the first time last cruise (with Carnival, but basically same as DCL in regards to this). We set ground rules for using it, and made it clear what the consequences would be if he did not follow them. He did fine

Only you know your children, and if they can handle the responsibility.

 

[gotomu212]

$10/day was enough for my son (same age). He actually spent much less than that. Nightly popcorn and my fancy ice cream was it.

On a different note my son did The Edge for the first time and LOVED the experience. He had liked the Clubs in the past but absolutely had a blast in the Edge. It’s a smaller group of kids and they go around the ship together on activities. On pirate night he and about 10 kids and a counselor were on deck and I watched at a distance and was shocked at how “old” he seemed. They were open until 1 am and it just seemed like he became a teenager overnight coming in and getting in bed without waking us (other than to say he was “home”). That might be another opportunity for him to do his own thing without the younger ones.

 

[Spiffy MacSpiff]

We gave our boys the freedom of the ship + charging privileges when they turned 12, within limits: 1) they have to let us know any time they change locations, 2) no pool time without a parent on deck, and never on sea days, 3) no buying anything for friends, and 4) no buying from the shops unless we discuss it first. Outside of those guidelines there really isn't a lot they can spend money on. Older DS likes his daily gelato fix and younger DS rarely charges anything. We never set a specific dollar limit but both of them have common sense and know that if they went nuts and charged up a storm at Vanellope's there would be trouble.

Other than that... your son will have the best time!!! The first year we turned our older DS loose was good for all of us, really. He loved his newfound freedom, and although it was difficult for us we relaxed a bit once he demonstrated that he could handle it very responsibly.

 

[Sunshine2U]

I'd say two treats a day and no shopping in the shops or buying things for other kids. Check it every day. If he messes up, it's not the end of the world and a good chance to have a positive conversation about the limits. If he messes up again, time for a nice little lesson in consequences - yank that freedom!

 

[ForMyBoys]

Hi! We gave both our older ds's charging privileges on our last cruise. They were 11 and 14. We discussed ahead of time the limits and they were both responsible about it and liked having the freedom.

 

[FigmentSpark]

I gave my kids charging privileges, but I know my kids aren't big splurgers. Also, I told them if they went over their daily limit, they'd be paying for it out of their allowance. Actually, they were so busy and there's so much that's free that they hardly spent any money. The older one went for the specialty ice cream a few times and the younger one bought candy once. Then there were a few movie treats, but really, we were all having those, so I didn't say anything.

As for coming and going from the Lab, by accident, my 12 year old was stuck there as they forgot to allow him the come and go privilege (it's a checkmark on their system and even though I asked for it, she forgot). He was so embarrassed standing at the door waiting for his mom while 8 year olds were scooting out of the club with no troubles. So, yes, give you 11 year old that freedom. Like others have said, set the ground rules... don't go in other people's rooms or have others in to your room. Don't make a pest of yourself running around. Those are the biggies, off the top of my head.

 

[kkayluvsdis]

$10/day was enough for my son (same age). He actually spent much less than that. Nightly popcorn and my fancy ice cream was it.

On a different note my son did The Edge for the first time and LOVED the experience. He had liked the Clubs in the past but absolutely had a blast in the Edge. It’s a smaller group of kids and they go around the ship together on activities. On pirate night he and about 10 kids and a counselor were on deck and I watched at a distance and was shocked at how “old” he seemed. They were open until 1 am and it just seemed like he became a teenager overnight coming in and getting in bed without waking us (other than to say he was “home”). That might be another opportunity for him to do his own thing without the younger ones.

Totally agree with this. My daughter was the same-it was a bigger hardship for me letting go than her feeling like she fit in for sure!

My daughter participated in scavenger hunts, a choreographed dance with some of the stage performers and two separate flash mobs all organized through Edge. She is still in contact with kids she met on board. It was a wonderful first experience for her!

Have an amazing cruise, OP! Be prepared for a few tears as you see your child's independence blooming!

 

[eeyoreandtink]

DD 15 has had charging privileges on every vacation since she was 10 and in the edge for the first time. She has also been allowed to come and go from clubs ect. It has never been an issue. We set boundaries on what she is allowed to do without adult approval. She can charge a couple of snacks a day. Anything over $20 a day needs to be cleared through a parent. She could and come and go from the club ect. At 10 we required her to have a buddy with her except when she was coming directly to meet us, no walking the ship alone. At 15, she will be allowed to come and go as she pleases as long as she updates us as to he whereabouts.

 

[Spotthecat]

Thanks everyone for the responses! Did you all have them carry the wavephone? I'd think not in our case (no pockets in shorts!)...

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Mine carried a wave phone, then her own phone once the app included a text function. Made me feel better that she could contact us if needed.

 

[Spiffy MacSpiff]

We unplug on vacation; all of our devices go in the safe and we use the wave phones to keep track of each other. Haven't had any problems with them and so far our boys haven't lost one... knock on wood.

 

[PurplePencil]

Thanks everyone for the responses! Did you all have them carry the wavephone? I'd think not in our case (no pockets in shorts!)...

Even if they don't cary a wave phone, there are house phones all over the ship. If you look at the wave phone, there is a number, and a way to call house phone to wave phone so mom or dad can have a wave phone and tween can call when leaving Edge.

 

[meliscan]

We gave our son freedom on the ship last week and he is 11. I didn't give him any charging privileges. With the free ice cream and the other food available if he needed to charge he can come hang out with mom and dad We didn't give him the wave phone he just kept his phone on him and he had to text us with what he was doing. It was a great way to give him freedom and try to teach him how to be responsible and show up on time. I would agree with other posters that you don't need to give them much money per day. If you are concerned about charging privileges you could get some Disney gift cards and then your child could have money and you don't have to worry about a bit bill.

 

[hardis5]

During the last TA our youngest (8) we started to let go to the club/lab himself directly from the dining room after finished his meal. He's been on 8 cruises (all ships) so knows his way well around each ship and we know him responsible enough to check himself in going directly to the club/lab. Towards the end of the cruise we authorized he be able to check himself out of the club/lab with the understanding it only be to go back to our cabin, which he had to do repeatedly as something new to him to show himself responsible to us (we also got the message when he signs himself out through the DCL app).

Figure for our next cruise when he'll be 10, he'll have charging privileges for if we trust him enough to be responsible for signing himself in/out, why would we not trust him to limit himself given boundaries are clearly communicated to how he can use. It will be a growth opportunity for him and learning further responsibility. He has always had a Disney gift card to spend as part of his on-board spending limit and allowing on his key-card is just a step up from that. The one proviso will be if he misplaces or ever does not know where his card is, he'll need to inform us immediately so we can have the card disabled.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

We gave our son freedom on the ship last week and he is 11. I didn't give him any charging privileges. With the free ice cream and the other food available if he needed to charge he can come hang out with mom and dad We didn't give him the wave phone he just kept his phone on him and he had to text us with what he was doing. It was a great way to give him freedom and try to teach him how to be responsible and show up on time. I would agree with other posters that you don't need to give them much money per day. If you are concerned about charging privileges you could get some Disney gift cards and then your child could have money and you don't have to worry about a bit bill.

I don't think that will work for most things kids will want to charge. I think they only work in gift shops, ect not the smoothie stations arcade, ect.

 

[angie7911922]

Set the boundaries before hand. If they know what is allowed, they will stick to it. I think last time we went we told them 2 treats a day, nothing from the gift shops, and if they had questions come and find us to ask first. Kids will experiment to learn, but mine knew when experiment to learn was ok and when to ask mom and dad.