Is this idea just crazy?

[mikesmom]

We are DVC members who have not gone to WDW in 2 years! DH has had 3 surgeries in a 2 year period causing cancellations right and left. (The one is September of 2003 was an emergency, the 2 since then have been orthopedic situations -hip repair and knee replacement).

Anyway, I am completely burned out both physically and mentally. I own a business and DHs hospital situations and needing care when he got home have caused me to take huge hits in time spent on work. I end up trying to make up work at night and on weekends. Plus patient care, meals, laundry, yard care, phone calls to argue with Blue Cross,driving him to physical therapy, etc. It seems like I need to do something every hour (which is better than every 10 minutes like a month ago, but still tiresome.)

All I can think of right now is a 4 day weekend at Vero. I'm obsessed with the thought of waves and gardens and doing NOTHING. I don't want the parks because I'm really over the top with any sensory input, no matter how much fun. I want quiet and no demands. I have points available. I have free SW tickets. Other than a rental car, the cash cost is pretty non-existent. The down side: 4 day weekend is pretty much 2 days on a plane. If DH goes along, he probably loses a day after we get there because his knee is still healing and will swell up with that long a trip. He will lose a day after we get home for the same reason. I will lose a day each time because I have an ear problem that causes vertigo randomly but always within 24 hours of a plane trip. I feel guilty if I take a vacation without him, but a vacation with him means I spend large amounts of the time watching to see if he's tired, swollen, pale, getting him ice paks, etc. If I take a long weekend, I am even farther behind at work.

I feel completely self centered because he is still sore and healing and I should be thinking of him. But I just keep thinking of how I can get away from all this WORK. I am totally burnied out. And Vero is calling me. Am I just crazy?

 

[jnrrt]

Oh, Mikesmom, I feel for you. I have no idea if you should do the trip or not, but you're not crazy! That is a ton to deal with. We have felt really overwhelmed with everything right now too, and I know how you feel - it's really hard to know what to do. You obviously need a break, but will it just make things crazier when you get back?

I lean a little toward you going, though. As you said, you won't be out any money, if the missed days at work are an issue, and you have the points. Of course, with the medical issues, it makes it tougher.

Obviously, I have not much useful to say, but again, you're not crazy, we've all felt like that, and I'm sending you pixie dust.

 

[Laurajean1014]

A little. Take a vacation by yourself, nothing in marriage vows say "can't have fun with out the other," however, why go to SW? If you "want to get a way from it all" is SW the answer?

I like VB but other than the two restaurants at hotel, not much else unless you go into town. (And not much after that).

Why not go to WDW and not go in the parks and no SW? You will save ton of cash, while relaxing near a pool amongst the most beautiful gardens. No-one can beat the restaurants. Go to JIKO and hang at AKL and watch the animals. Go to CA GRILL one night for dinner and watch Wishes on the obersavtion deck. Go to O'hana's and see Wishes on the beach.

Rent a mouse at GF and surf the lagoon. Go to the Contemporary and schedule a windsailing. Go to GF or SSR and do spa treatments.

It's all right here at WDW.

(If you get really bored, take a taxi or rent a car for the day and hit the outlets.)

I'd go on, but I'm running out of paper!

 

[wtpclc]

Care-takers need to take care of themselves!

Ask your dh how he feels. If he feels it is too much for him, can you go with a friend or relative. You'll be a lot more fun to be around if you get a break!

 

[CarolMN]

It would be nice to be near the ocean and at VB. But I also think it's a long way to go for basically two days - especially if you will feel guilty going without your DH or be worried about him if he does go along.

Can you relax and do nothing closer to home? How about a couple of days at a spa? One that doesn't involve quite so much travel time, but still feels like you are away from it all

Best wishes-

 

[Bradder]

In my profession, and from personal experience, your feelings are very normal. As others have said, no you are not crazy. You are just a loving caring human being- perhaps even to your own peril- even if you don't feel you may fit that description sometimes.

From my experience, unless one has takea care of themselves then they usually are not in the best position to take care of someone else. Sadly, such logic rarely is understood during emotional situations and "logical proofs" are generally not a great way to show someone through their emotions.

The other thing you might consider is if you DH wants you to go. In my case, and untill it had been pointed out to me, there had been many single-sentance hints (e.g. please, you need some rest, you need to get away for a few days- so-and so can help me, I feel guilty about you having to take care of me....) and I had simply blown off these remarks as something I thought they were just saying to make me feel better- and then, of course, felt guilty that they had said it (Was I just being too snappy with them? Am I showing irritations, guilt ad infititum). What I learned to realize, at least in my situationand definately not on my own, was that this person was feeling just as guilty because they felt my physical/emotional decline was their fault.

It was also pointed out (though I didn't hear the first thousand times) that I would actually be doing them a favour by complying to their wishes- so they wouldn't feel so bad about their part of the situation (i.e. my solo mini-vaction was really for their own good because it would make them feel better about the situaion). What really clicked for me was when my "mentor" asked how I would feel in their position? Would I want to watch a person I love beat themselves to exhaustion so they could take care of me? That made me see the situation a whole different light - though I admit it still took me a while to act on this new revelation-- bloody emotions rollercoaster

My last bit of experiencial sharing- if you do go - be sure to go "guilt free" because if you spend the entire time obsessing on if you did the right thing - you won't come back any better than you were when you left. Respite is a terrible thing to waste.

Hope I haven't broken the "no personal response" rules. If you want to PM/Chat feel free to do so at any time. Tough situation and tough call.

 

[gopherit]

A little. Take a vacation by yourself, nothing in marriage vows say "can't have fun with out the other," however, why go to SW? If you "want to get a way from it all" is SW the answer?

I like VB but other than the two restaurants at hotel, not much else unless you go into town. (And not much after that).

Why not go to WDW and not go in the parks and no SW

I think the original poster was referring to SOuthWest airlines -- not Sea World?

I agree that WDW can be lovely as a non-park trip, though -- We do LOTS of no-park days, and like you, I could go on for pages and pages! But some folks (my DH for example) seem to think that if someone builds it, they must come (meaning, it is holy sacrilege to go to Orlando and NOT go to the parks at least half-time!) ANd it's all about what your definition of happy place is, too, I guess, and true relaxation. Apprently for this OP, visions of the beach do it for her!

Mikesmom, is there any way to take an AHV (at-home-vacation)? As in, make an absolute pact to unplug the phone, not answer mail, just hiberante for a while? Or is there somewhere nearby, that doesn't necessitate airplanes and travel woes, that you could go? I think if you looked at the cost of airport parking, meals, and incidentals for the 4 days, versus 2 days somewhere nearby (and granted, less posh that VB, but a get-away nonetheless!) you would probably break even! If you rented the VB points to someone else, I am willing to bet that the $$ would more than cover a more nearby get-away for 2... and 2 days (with fewer medical repercussions) would not leave you feeling as swamped in terms of days lost / work to be made up.

As for vacationing alone... I've always told my DH, there's no where I particularly want to go alone, but there are plnety of times I've wanted to send HIM off on a "vacation" somewhere so I could relax at home, hahaha!

Good luck!