My mother is gone

[Pumpweet]

Hello fellow Disers, Today at 11:30 am my mother passed away. I knew it was coming. She was 87 and had advanced dementia. I held her hand as she passed from this life into the next. My Ds,17 was there too. I have felt almost euphoric today with tons of energy. Almost all of the funeral plans are made and necessary family and friends notified. It's so surreal. I really haven't cried yet. I am a teacher with one more week of school left. I spent two hours this afternoon doing sub plans and end of the year evaluations. Maybe I'm afraid to just let it all out. My closest friends are far away and cannot be with me. I have no siblings. My husband is at a loss for words and has gone to bed. My DS,13 is at a neighbors house and I'm reaching out to my Dis family. However, I will be going to Disney from June 18-22 for a much needed gal-pal trip. I will celebrate my mother's life. Until then, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Pumpweet

 

[Philagoofy]

I'm so sorry. It must seem like you lost your mom twice, both times very difficult. My thoughts are with you and hope you know that she is now at peace.

I hope you find some enjoyment, rest and peace of mind on your Disney trip.

 

[Pumpweet]

Thank you Philagoofy. I see you're in Philly. I'm a South Jersey girl myself. I've been thinking a night or two in Cape May might be in order soon. Your kind thoughts are very appreciated.

 

[mommasita]

I am very sorry for your loss... I can not imagine the pain of losing your mother, no matter what age...

I hope you find the strength to get through this, and remember her fondly...

Your Disney trip sounds like a great idea...Your mother will be with you.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

You seem to have it in perspective and very strong.. I like that.

The next few days will be even more surreal, I remember it in a blur when my Mom passed, but you will get through it and then in time, remember her as she was before the dementia set in. That will be wonderful to remember those times..

Hugs to you and your family as you go through the next few days.. we are here if and when you need to talk..

 

[Pumpweet]

To Mackey Mouse and Mommasita, Thank you both for kind words and thoughts. I'm calming down some today but still have the feeling that I have to get it all done now. I am picturing my mom as young, beautiful and dancing around Heaven. She is free now and so am I. She lived with me for 12 years, then three years in an assisted living facility and finally the long term care center for the last two. No more guilt for not visiting. No more rushing out of work to do a quick visit before rushing home to get my kids to their activities after school. No more multi-tasking by grading papers during visits with her. No more 8-10 hour ER visits and then sucking it up in the morning and going to work exhausted. It's done. I am so relieved.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

and she is at peace.. Amen to that!!!

Hugs to you and yours and take care of each other these next few days.

 

[goofy4tink]

I'm so sorry you have lost your mom. It's hard to lose a mother, no matter the age. As someone else has said, you really lost her twice. My friend is going through this exact same thing....I can't imagine how she does it. I'm sure that on some level, your mom knew you were there, with her at the end.
My mom died alone 3 years ago. I know she didn't suffer and passed away while napping. Since she was only 73, I was spared what so many of you are going through with older parents. And since dementia has reared it's ugly head in my older relatives, I know it was a distinct possibility for my mom

So, again I'm so sorry. You sound like you did a great job of being there for your mother, even when she may not have been aware of it. I hope you get through the ensuing days with strength and peace. You will have moments of grief that just overcome you. I still have those moments. Check in with us....a lot of us have been there.

 

[jann1033]

i'm sorry for the difficult time you have suffered and for your mother's passing but hopefully you will be helped by knowing you did what you could to help her..sickness and death are terrible things that are so hard to deal with.