The problem you have is not convincing the "hubby", it's staying safe. Tow ratings generally are based on a single passenger of the vehicle at 150 pounds. I don't know about you, but I passed 150 in junior high.
So, deduct every pound you put in the Pilot over 150. That's passengers, luggage and assorted junk. Now, add the weight of anything you put in the trailer above it's "dry" (read that bare with no options) weight. You got A/C, add 150 pounds. You want to take a couple of cans of soup, add a pound. You get the ideal.
Now, once you are in the area of the TT you want, remember for safety consider your capacity at 80%. You say you have 3550, but everything I read with a quick Google says 3500 on 2WD and 4500 on 4WD. So, if you have a 2WD with 3500 means you have a safe capacity of 2800. Add a few hundred pounds to the trailer and deduct a few hundred pounds for the contents of your Pilot and you are at 2000 or less.
I've probably said it a hundred times, Woe is the camper who went out and purchased a camper without reviewing what their tow vehicle weight ratings really were. The deal you find on a camper can quickly fade when you find out you need a new tow vehicle to move it!
While a salesman may tell you it's fine, remember what his job is. It's to sell you a TT. It's up to you as an adult to understand that the time to find out you wanted too much trailer is not when you need to make an emergency stop towing it.
