Maybe she was rude because she did not want people over. You did not say how old the baby is. But, in preemie clothes it has it be quite young. Maybe her inlaws forced a visit. Was the baby in in NICU before coming home? Did she have a c-section? Is this their first baby? Maybe she feels uncomfortable with gifts. As for the wedding gift, your grandson could of sent a thank you since he is the groom.
Who did you ask abut what to get as a baby gift? Have you ever asked your grandson what his wife might like for CHristmas? How you tried to get to know her?
Her behavior does sound rude but what went on prior to your arrival? You mentioned that your son was going to talk to your grandson.
When my SIL had her kids, she did not want anyone over. She wanted to keep the safe from germs. She made this known. SHe had people that would stop to see the babies and she just would not open the door. People thought that she was being rude, but she felt that they were rude for not listening and stopping over anyways.
ETA: my inlaws probably think that I am rude. My husband and I have been together 30 yrs. Every year for my birthday and Christmas , they give me a wool sweater. I am severely allergic to wool. I tried to be nice about it at first but it gets ridiculous. I can not even take it out of the box without breaking out in hives. Just being in close proximity makes me sneeze and cough. They know I am allergic to it.
Okay, lots of questions but I will answer them. We didn't go to HER house, we were at our son and daughter-in-law's so the baby and the baby's parents came THERE. They have been there several times since the baby was born, they have taken her to other people's houses, to church, etc. This get-together was planned by the baby's mother AND our daughter-in-law, they worked out a day/time that would work best for them. I had told them any day/time was fine with us. Yesterday was the day THEY chose. So no, her in-laws did NOT force the visit.
No, the mother did not have a C-section and no, the baby was not in NICU when she was born. She weighed 5 lbs. 8 ounces when she was born, so yes, tiny, but not super tiny either. She did go back to the hospital a couple of days after she was born, as she wasn't keeping food (breastfeeding, but no longer now, is on formula) down and they had to run tests and determined the baby has acid reflux so she did lose some weight but is now over 6 pounds.
Yes, this is their first baby.
Yes, my grandson could have sent a wedding thank you note (or Facebook message) but HE works full-time, his wife does not work outside the home, even though she should as they were struggling to make ends meet BEFORE they decided to have a baby and now it has to be MUCH worse with baby expenses. And generally I think it is the wife who does the majority of the wedding thank you's.
Yes, I have asked my grandson what his wife would like for a Christmas gift. Candles was one thing he said, so that's what I gave her. It was a Christmasy scent.
When I asked about getting a gift for the baby I asked my grandson first, as I wanted to get a bigger item (like car seat, changing table, swing, something along that line but he said they had all the big items they needed and then proceeded to tell me premie clothes and diapers. My son said the same thing when I also asked him. No one ever said "don't buy anything PINK!"
No, I didn't say my son was going to talk to my grandson. I said I wouldn't be surprised if he DID talk to him (about her rude behavior).
Yes, I have tried to get to know her. Even though I have heard many bad things about her I have always given her the benefit of the doubt. I include her in conversations, treat her the same as I do my grands/their boyfriends, etc. At the family gathering after my mom's passing in July we actually had quite a nice conversation in fact.
There, I think that was all your questions. Whew.
Edited to add: I'm sorry your in-laws continue to give you a wool sweater every year for Christmas. THEY are definitely being rude and uncaring to do that for 30 years when they know you are allergic to wool. Have you ever spoken to them directly about your allergy? As in saying to your MIL, "hey, the wool sweaters you give me at Christmas are beautiful but do you KNOW I can't wear them because I am allergic?" If you have done something like that and they continue to give you a wool sweater, that's terrible but obviously you can't change them. All YOU can do is be the bigger person and smile and say thank you. Then either take it and exchange it, or donate it to goodwill.
