Responding-not reacting-to kids

[eternaldisneyfan]

Everyone who's disabled has had those comments or stares. I had such an experience last week:

As I was coming out of the women’s bathroom with Dad this boy (6-7) saw Dad with me started exclaiming, “That’s weird! What’s he doing here! Mom, that’s weird!” The mom was trying to quiet him and explain. I was a little embarrassed but I didn’t want to leave the boy in ignorance. I didn’t want him to think I was weird because I needed help. So I turned around and kindly started to explain. “Nah, it’s not weird.” I said with a smile. “See, I can’t walk,” with this comment the boy’s eyes got really wide and a startled and almost sad expression spread across his face like he’d never realized such a thing could happen. I continued, “My mom’s in a wheelchair, too, so my Dad has to help me in the bathroom.” With this comment a look of understanding began to spread across the boy’s face. I finished saying, “So it’s not weird. Your mommy helps you and my Daddy helps me.” The boy looked satisfied with the explanation and the mother smiled at me with what seemed like a thank you.

Christamae

 

[Meezers]

That is a really nice tale you have to tell there! I hope the little boy learned something...and I think he did!

 

[momsgoofy]

Kudos to you for handling this in such a positive way!!!

My mom had a laryngectomy and used an elctronic mic to speak with after the surgery and when kids would look at her with those "what the heck" faces she always let them "play" with the mic to get an idea and tried to explain why she used it...sometimes folks had trouble understanding so whoever was with her would tell the person. Usually it went well...once in a while there'd be a very shy one. But Mom always tried to make them feel comfortable...it was her biggest worry that my DS, who was the first grandchild born after the surgery, wouldn't be comfortable with her cause grandma was "different". She soon realized that "Mimi Robot", as the older kids nicknamed her, was about the coolest granny on the block in DS's eyes.

I think from postive thoughts and sharings postive outcomes can be gained.

 

[marj70]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Some of us (ok, ME) forget that people do not mean to be rude, they just do not know. Before I had Alex I can see myself looking at a 3 year old in the grocery store screaming and think "what a bad kid, why doesn't his mom discipline him better". I'm a nice, understanding person but would not have known any better. People in general are kind, you reminded me of that. Also, children are completely honest. If something is different they just say it. In a way maybe that is better. And the fact that you went out of your way to educate, instead of just being angry, etc is very special and a great lesson. Maybe I'll think twice before belting out something nasty back. (I get a lot of the "bad child" stares and sometimes even comments...)

 

[JudithM]

Thank you for sharing yoru experience with us. I like the way you handle it.

One time as the ECV & I were getting on the bus a little girl watched attentively from inside the bus. All she & her family knew was the bus driver asked them to move to another seat. I could tell she was wondering, so I told her my knees do not work like her knees do. She was fine with a simple explanation.

 

[dclfun]

Christamae- what a great way to handle that situation! Sometimes I think my "purpose" in life is to help other people learn something and in this instance you too were a great teacher. We just returned from a Disney cruise and I had lots of kids asking about my service dog, Skye. One little girl around age 9/10 said loudly, "Mom...that lady brought her dog on the ship". When that got no response ( probably because Mom was mortified) she said, "Mom..dogs are NOT allowed on the ship!". Finally when she said, "Mom...pets cannot come onboard a cruise!" I turned and explained kindly that my dog is not a pet and described some of the things she does for me. So here's to education- she finally understood. Other people watched in amazment as Skye opened doors, etc. and used that moment to tell their child what things a SD can do for someone. I'm so glad that all of us on this board are out and about in our lives and using ourselves and our disabilities or situations to help people and bring a little kindness and understanding to the world. I'll second the kudos to you Christamae.---Kathy

 

[SueM in MN]

Thumbs up. (andd thanks for sharing).

It makes me think a few weeks ago a little boy saw DD driving around Target in her powerwheelchair. He asked his mom what it was and she explained it was a power wheelchair that some people use. I couldn't stick around for any explanations because DD was driving out of sight, but the last thing I heard was the little boy say "Cool. I want one of those when I grow up!"

 

[Piper]

I wear an AFO on my right foot. A 4 year old neighbor saw it the other day and asked what it was. I said, "Oh, that's my AFO. I wear it so I won't fall down." Her reply was, "I wish my mom would get me one of those!"