Rocky Mountain Highs (a non-Disney Trip Report) - COMPLETE 2/17

Captain_Oblivious

DIS Dad #257, Galactic Salad Dodger
Joined
Nov 10, 2008
Gather round; I’ll tell you a tale
Of the wild, wild west.
And six brave souls who ventured forth
Abandoning any hope of rest.


Years ago, this family embarked on a quest
That seemed both foolhardy and quixotic
To see this great land and visit each and every state
Without the task becoming too chaotic.


Yet they persisted and wound up having many adventures
Which are shamelessly catalogued and linked in my signature
The degree of difficulty rose even higher last year
With the addition of a fourth child in miniature.


This year, the idea was to visit the West
Specifically, the great National Parks.
And of course, we’d hope to find greasy burger joints
Not those vegan places that only serve tree bark.


By now, most of you know who we are
But just in case somebody new de-lurks,
Let me run through some brief introductions
So you can get to know all of these jerks.

IMG_6151.JPG



First there’s me: I’m the dad and master trip planner,
I can say that because our trips haven’t sucked.
As the planner, the driver, and head navigator,
It’s my job to make sure we aren’t…um…in trouble.


My wife, Julie, brings world-class skills
In logistics and packing, reducing clutter
She’ll provide stunning photography
And many sandwiches filled with peanut butter.
(Gotta stretch the dollars somehow, you know.)


My daughter, Sarah, is now a teen
So she’s supposed to be snarky and surly
Instead, she’s laid-back, loves the outdoors
And doesn’t even mind getting up early.


David is next, he’s my oldest son
And the one who’s most into sports
At Disney, he loves boats, trains and monorails
He’s turning into a gear-head of sorts.


Scotty’s exploits are legendary here on the DIS
To all who haven’t been nappin’
He has a wonderful talent for making us laugh
We all love it when Scotty happens.


Lastly, there’s Drew, our littlest guy
Whose arrival threw us for a loop
But we determined he wouldn’t slow our travels down
No matter how much he screams or poops.


So that’s the family, and I hope you’ll join us
As we recount this adventure
From Denver to Yellowstone and points in between
Unless the mods think I need to be censored.


The rest of the chapters will not be poems.
Believe me, I’m not that crazy
In fact, if there’s one thing you can always count on,
It’s that I am incredibly lazy.


So gather around, and please join in,
Bring along your Dole Whip Floats
I hope you’ll read and comment along
And maybe even spot some movie quotes.


Coming Up Next: No more rhymes now, I mean it! And our vacation hits a snag before it has barely begun.
 
Table Of Contents

Chapter 1: Russians Don't Take A Dump, Son, Without A Plan.
Chapter 2: It happens.
Chapter 3: Holy Cheetos!
Chapter 4: You'd Better Cut The Pizza In Four Pieces Because I'm Not Hungry Enough To Eat Six.
Chapter 5: An Ice Age Here, A Million Years of Mountain Building There...Geology is the Study of Pressure and Time.
Chapter 6: I'm On A Pilgrimage To See A Moose.
Chapter 7: If There's A Bright Center To The Universe, You're At The Planet It's Farthest From.
Chapter 8: The Way Back to Town is Only Seventy Miles. So if You Save Your Breath, I Feel a Man Like You Can Manage it.
Chapter 9: Hey, Joe! Butch-a He Say He Wants-a Two Spaghetti Speciale, Heavy on the Meats-a Ball.
Chapter 10: Water...Water...Oil...Oil...Room Service...Room Service...
Chapter 11: First of All, Don't Make Fun of the Weather Here, and Don't Say the Weather is the Same All the Time Here. Because it's Not. In Fact, it's Two Degrees Colder Today Than Yesterday.
Chapter 12: Train Don’t Run Out of Wichita—Lessin’ You’re a Hog or a Cattle. People Train Runs Out of Stubbville.
Chapter 13: Two Words: La-va!
Chapter 14: Can't Figure the Stinkin' Buffalo.
Chapter 15: And Now For Something Completely Different.
Chapter 16: That Ball Wouldn't Have Made It Out Of A Lot Of Parks. (Name One.) Yellowstone.
Chapter 17: Do You Think They Will Let Me Live In Montana?
Chapter 18: Fire In The Hole!
Chapter 19: Since I’ve Met You, I’ve Noticed Things That I Never Knew Were There Before…Birds Singing…Dew Glistening On A Newly Formed Leaf…Stoplights…
Chapter 20: Yeah, But John, When Pirates Of The Caribbean Breaks Down, The Pirates Don't Eat The Tourists.
Chapter 21: Farewell And Adieu To You, Fair Spanish Lady.
 
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Bam! And I'm in.
Back to comment (and read) on the first chapter in a bit!
 
I feel like I need to respond in verse...:rotfl2:

But I'm too lazy for that, so I'll just go with: HERE! :cool1:
 
Oh!! I am so excited that you are starting! And in poem form!!

I have to say as the master planner of my travel group (i.e. a couple, not a 6 person family) I cam most certainly state that you are definitely NOT lazy! Trip planning is hard work!!
 


First there’s me: I’m the dad and master trip planner,
I can say that because our trips haven’t sucked.
As the planner, the driver, and head navigator,
It’s my job to make sure we aren’t…um…in trouble.
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:

Lastly, there’s Drew, our littlest guy
Whose arrival threw us for a loop
But we determined he wouldn’t slow our travels down
No matter how much he screams or poops.
Always have to appreciate poop poetry. :thumbsup2 :rotfl:

In fact, if there’s one thing you can always count on,
It’s that I am incredibly lazy.
And count on that we do! Seriously. I'm so far behind I'm glad you didn't start this thing up right away when you got home. :rotfl2:

I look forward to reading about another epic Oblivious family vacation.
 
Reporting in from Colorado!

(BTW, the humidity this week in your neck of the woods was awful this week!)

Jill in CO
 
Gather round; I’ll tell you a tale
Of the wild, wild west.

The Conrad version of the Smith version?
Answer carefully, this is very important.


And six brave souls who ventured forth
Abandoning any hope of rest.

Well, five brave souls and one that’s pretty much oblivious and along for the ride.
I’ll leave it to the rest of the reading public to determine the makeup of that contingent.


Years ago, this family embarked on a quest
That seemed both foolhardy and quixotic
To see this great land and visit each and every state
Without the task becoming too chaotic.

Y’all thrive on chaos so far as I can see.
And it’s still a great goal. I’ll never get even half as close as y’all to finishing it.


Yet they persisted and wound up having many adventures
Which are shamelessly catalogued and linked in my signature

Let he who is not equally shameless cast the first cup of Beverly.


The degree of difficulty rose even higher last year
With the addition of a fourth child in miniature.

I can’t see where it’s really slowed y’all down one itty bit.
But you are going to have a lot of backtracking to do so that Drew will get to see (and remember) some of the places you’ve already been.


This year, the idea was to visit the West
Specifically, the great National Parks.
And of course, we’d hope to find greasy burger joints
Not those vegan places that only serve tree bark.

“Oh, there’s a surprise… I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise!”


By now, most of you know who we are
But just in case somebody new de-lurks,
Let me run through some brief introductions
So you can get to know all of these jerks.

De-lurks?
I like that one. Creative…



Well lookie there!
You got some stranger to not only take y’all’s picture, but to even do a good job framing the shot in the process!


Or did you use a tripod and a timer?



First there’s me

Ok…
Enough of that, then
Let’s move on to something more important.


My wife, Julie, brings world-class skills
In logistics and packing, reducing clutter
She’ll provide stunning photography
And many sandwiches filled with peanut butter.
(Gotta stretch the dollars somehow, you know.)

There we go…
Someone worthy of verse.


My daughter, Sarah, is now a teen
So she’s supposed to be snarky and surly
Instead, she’s laid-back, loves the outdoors
And doesn’t even mind getting up early.

You are a lucky man.
But then again, young ladies are more likely to clash with mom than dad…


David is next, he’s my oldest son
And the one who’s most into sports
At Disney, he loves boats, trains and monorails
He’s turning into a gear-head of sorts.

He’s the one more likely to start clashing with you at some point.
But being a gear-head will make up for many, many potential character flaws.


Scotty’s exploits are legendary here on the DIS
To all who haven’t been nappin’
He has a wonderful talent for making us laugh
We all love it when Scotty happens.

So say we all.
Getting through life is easy; comedy is hard.
Scotty is a natural


Lastly, there’s Drew, our littlest guy
Whose arrival threw us for a loop
But we determined he wouldn’t slow our travels down
No matter how much he screams or poops.

The only one who has a complete and flawless grasp on his primary directive.
I predict that he will do his utmost to meet the expectations incumbent upon him.

While simultaneously magnifying this TRs cuteness factor by an order of magnitude.


So that’s the family, and I hope you’ll join us
As we recount this adventure
From Denver to Yellowstone and points in between
Unless the mods think I need to be censored.

Yeah, the mods are always a bit of a wild-card.
Can neither predict nor explain their actions.


The rest of the chapters will not be poems.
Believe me, I’m not that crazy

Well… that may be debatable.


In fact, if there’s one thing you can always count on,
It’s that I am incredibly lazy.

But that right there is a certainty.

So gather around, and please join in,
Bring along your Dole Whip Floats
I hope you’ll read and comment along
And maybe even spot some movie quotes.

Inconceivable!

but... challenge accepted.
 
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Drew doesn't look like he has chewed on much tree bark. My DS had the same shape but is in a 24x30 pant now. Looking forward to reading about the adventure.
 
Staking my spot. Will be back to read!

ETA: Loved the poem and introductions. Can't wait to hear all about it. popcorn::
 
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