Tracking my teen's phone? Advice?

[RamblingMad]

Why do you need to track your kids via their phone? They can always leave it with a friend or at home.

I didn’t have a cellphone as a kid. This 1984 surveillance freaks me out.

 

[mich311e]

There's always someone who has to chime in and say "Why track your teen?" That's a personal choice up to each parent.

It's convenient for us to see where our son is. With marching band, they would have competitions at the other side of town so it was nice to know they arrived safely and see when he was on the way back to school so we could pick him up, usually late at night. When he traveled out of state with the band to be in a parade we drove separately to see the parade and were able to locate him to say hi easily in crowded downtown San Diego. He would have never been able to describe where he was. And on the way home from San Diego we could see the bus was on the way home much earlier than were and arrange for him to get picked up at school by a family member since we were running a few hours behind them.

It's not bad to want to know where your kid is

 

[MKCP5]

If you want to know where they have been without them knowing your tracking do this. (iphone only)

1. Go to Settings -> Privacy -> Location Services.
2. Scroll all the way down and go to "System Services."
3. Go to "Significant Locations" at the bottom.
4. Enter your passcode if prompted, or verify with Touch ID or Face ID.
5. Scroll down and you will see a "History" section that lists places you have been.

Well, I just did that to my own phone and it freaked me the hell out. That is WILD. I knew that we are always being monitored when you use a cell phone, but to see it in black and white like that was quite disturbing Yikes!

 

[MikeNamez]

Well, I just did that to my own phone and it freaked me the hell out. That is WILD. I knew that we are always being monitored when you use a cell phone, but to see it in black and white like that was quite disturbing Yikes!

lol ya its not some fancy trick, its on all the time for all iPhones. Its definitely creepy though.

 

[MsOnceUponATime]

Well, I just did that to my own phone and it freaked me the hell out. That is WILD. I knew that we are always being monitored when you use a cell phone, but to see it in black and white like that was quite disturbing Yikes!

You can turn this feature off. Just simply slide it to "off".

 

[MKCP5]

You can turn this feature off. Just simply slide it to "off".

Thanks. Yes I realize that now that I know it's even there! Pretty crazy though!

 

[MsOnceUponATime]

Thanks. Yes I realize that now that I know it's even there! Pretty crazy though!

I've always known about this feature and have always had mine off. But after reading this post, I grabbed my teenagers phone and looked and hers was on. I reviewed it and then turned hers off too. It is crazy!

 

[Lumpy1106]

There's always someone who has to chime in and say "Why track your teen?" That's a personal choice up to each parent.

It's convenient for us to see where our son is. With marching band, they would have competitions at the other side of town so it was nice to know they arrived safely and see when he was on the way back to school so we could pick him up, usually late at night. When he traveled out of state with the band to be in a parade we drove separately to see the parade and were able to locate him to say hi easily in crowded downtown San Diego. He would have never been able to describe where he was. And on the way home from San Diego we could see the bus was on the way home much earlier than were and arrange for him to get picked up at school by a family member since we were running a few hours behind them.

It's not bad to want to know where your kid is

Boy that says a ton doesn't it? There is a fine line between tracking your teen for their safety and not trusting them. Believe me, where ever you think that line is reasonable, your teen will think you've crossed it. Not judging, just saying good luck to everyone walking that line!

 

[diser_fam]

Another recommendation for Life360. A couple of summers ago, my son was playing golf with some of his buddies and lost his phone somewhere during the round. He borrowed a phone from his friend and called me at work. I was able to zoom in on his phone and tell him which hole it was on and a pretty good area of where at on that hole it was. He returned to that hole and was able to find it. Pretty cool.

One thing to note....not only can you see their location, but they can see yours.

 

[RamblingMad]

Boy that says a ton doesn't it? There is a fine line between tracking your teen for their safety and not trusting them. Believe me, where ever you think that line is reasonable, your teen will think you've crossed it. Not judging, just saying good luck to everyone walking that line!

With the pandemic going on, there is a limited number of places they can go. This is likely to continue through most of next year.

What you probably want is a contract tracing app to know whether your kid came in contact with anyone with COVID. That would be far more useful today given that kids can become super spreaders.

 

[Hikergirl]

With the pandemic going on, there is a limited number of places they can go. This is likely to continue through most of next year.

What you probably want is a contract tracing app to know whether your kid came in contact with anyone with COVID. That would be far more useful today given that kids can become super spreaders.

That depends on where you are, right now my teen is at the mall. All our parks our open, bowling alleys just opened the other day, and all our restaurants are open too. The only place around here a teen can't go is to school.

My teen just got his license and the rule is that I am allowed to track him if I feel it's necessary. He is supposed to text me when he gets to his destination, if he doesn't then I'll track him.
I also track my older college aged kids when they are travelling back and forth from school to home.
They are fully aware, I asked them to let me.

 

[Judique]

That depends on where you are, right now my teen is at the mall. All our parks our open, bowling alleys just opened the other day, and all our restaurants are open too. The only place around here a teen can't go is to school.

My teen just got his license and the rule is that I am allowed to track him if I feel it's necessary. He is supposed to text me when he gets to his destination, if he doesn't then I'll track him.
I also track my older college aged kids when they are travelling back and forth from school to home.
They are fully aware, I asked them to let me.

I was reading and ready to respond until I came to your post. You said what I did. Kids can make reasonable choices at certain ages. My kids had phones at age 10. Still in elementary school, but after school activities, etc. It was imperative to be able to connect at times, especially as their world widened as they got older. At younger age, tracking a must. As they got older, knowledge and agreements on both sides. Talking to your kids and having a relationship of trust works with many. Some kids have different personalities and may want to be more private - somehow those are the ones I'd worry about. (I had one.) Other kids were more open.

Anyway trust comes from actions on both sides. Conversation is imperative and a child should be aware that you are looking out for them. If they don't agree, maybe they don't need the phone.

 

[mjkacmom]

Boy that says a ton doesn't it? There is a fine line between tracking your teen for their safety and not trusting them. Believe me, where ever you think that line is reasonable, your teen will think you've crossed it. Not judging, just saying good luck to everyone walking that line!

I don’t care if my teen thinks I’ve crossed it, when ds17 wasn’t home last night by midnight after going to a party, and wasn’t answering my texts, I could see where he was (got home at 1 am, grounded). Dd19 is driving back from NY by herself today, 4 hours, so she will share her location. Ds22 shares his location when he goes hiking/kayaking alone. Once my kids go off to college, no tracking except for certain circumstances.

 

[vegs1]

This thread has been very interesting to read. I never thought about tracking my children. I had always asked them to call when they arrived somewhere if it was a long trip and they always did. On a daily basis, I didn’t feel the need. Did they ever come home late, yes! Did it scare me to death, yes! I do understand the “wanting” to know where they are when they aren’t with me but the idea to track them just didn’t come through my mind.

I don’t judge one way or another. They are your children so you can do what you like. I would hope the children know they are being monitored so it is a mutually agreed upon process and it won’t undermine the two sided trust we try so hard as parents to have.

 

[WinterAloe]

My DD was the person in our family that wanted us to get on Life360. This was a couple of years ago when she was around 12-13 years old. I was resistant at first but eventually signed on.
I don't use it often but I have found it to be very useful for many reasons and I'm glad we have it. DH travels for work so when he's in a new to him area, he's called me while driving (hands free of course) and if he's trying to find a gas station, grocery store, something to eat, etc., I can look on Life360 and help him find what he's looking for near where he's at. I have also used it to see how far away either he or my daughter are to gauge when I should start dinner, unlock the front door for them, etc.

 

[mjkacmom]

This thread has been very interesting to read. I never thought about tracking my children. I had always asked them to call when they arrived somewhere if it was a long trip and they always did. On a daily basis, I didn’t feel the need. Did they ever come home late, yes! Did it scare me to death, yes! I do understand the “wanting” to know where they are when they aren’t with me but the idea to track them just didn’t come through my mind.

I don’t judge one way or another. They are your children so you can do what you like. I would hope the children know they are being monitored so it is a mutually agreed upon process and it won’t undermine the two sided trust we try so hard as parents to have.

I can’t imagine not letting them know, I think they need to enable it on their phones (which are password protected). I’m on it, DH is on it, my kids have always had a lot of freedom and have been ridiculously overscheduled (their choice), they never had to tell us if they were going from A to B, with 5 of them there were so many moving parts. It also made picking them up so much easier.

 

[Pridemom]

Why not simply ask them where they are ? Where they have been ? It’s never even crossed my mind to do this with my teens.

I don’t track my kids, but my 18 year old called me in a panic this morning after she ran her car off the road. She told me the wrong road name since she was so upset. Had she had locations on, it would have saved stress and time.

 

[penn19]

Why do you need to track your kids via their phone? They can always leave it with a friend or at home.

I didn’t have a cellphone as a kid. This 1984 surveillance freaks me out.

I have a friend who was tracking her daughter while at college. Her daughter used to just leave her phone in the dorm and go out. So now she’d have no phone on her in case she needed it.

 

[RamblingMad]

I have a friend who was tracking her daughter while at college. Her daughter used to just leave her phone in the dorm and go out. So now she’d have no phone on her in case she needed it.

I didn’t even have a cellphone until I had graduated university, and I survived. Why would she need a phone?

 

[vegs1]

I would assume that the majority of older teens/college age students know how to turn a tracker off.