went to a bar mitzvah last night

[Briar Rose 7457]

the boy is a freind of my dd, and the mom is a friend of mine. had a great time.

but all the time I was there I couldn't help but think about dd's upcoming bat miztvah -- what I would do the same, what I would do differently fromt he way it was done at this bar mitzvah.

 

[Keli]

LOL, I do that sort of thing all the time. At graduation parties last year that was on my mind a lot because I knew dd would be graduating this year. I imagine as she gets older weddings will start to have the same effect on me.

 

[Krisu]

How long has your DS been preparing/learning for her Bat Mitzvah, and how is it different from a Bar Mitzvah?

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Krisu, because our synagogue is egalitarian, a girl prepares for her bat mitzvah the same way a boy prepares for his bar mitzvah. the kids go to Hebrew school from 3rd grade until 7th grade to learn the basics, then study with a tutor for several months before the event to learn the particulars of their service. my dd just started lessons with her tutor.

what will be expected on my dd is that she'll be able to lead the congregation in various prayers in Hebrew and that she will be able to read a portion of Torah in Hebrew. dd's portion is Genesis18, when the three messengers visit Abraham and predict Sarah will give birth to Isaac. she'll read the portion in Hebrew, then give a short talk (in English, of course) on the portion and how it relates to her life.because her service will be on Saturday afternoon instead of Saturday morning she won't have Haftorah -- a reading from the prophets. - so she'll lead the congreagation is a few additional prayers.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

and afterwards, we PARTY!

 

[Krisu]

It must be a very proud moment, and a lot of work for DD. In our church (Lutheran) DS had classes once a week for 2 years for his confirmation. He vowed during that time he wasn't going to go back to church after he finished. But now that he is finished, he goes with me by his own decision When will the Bat Mitzvah be and where is the party?

 

[PamOKW]

How exciting! Of course you were looking for ideas for your event....it's human nature.

There was an article recently about a shop that opened in Rye Brook (Westchester) specializing in the dresses for the girls. The prices ran from about $1,000 and on up. They give them very specialized attention -- like picking out a wedding gown. They said people in Westchester are spending $50,000 and up into the stratosphere on the Bat Mitzvahs. The events sometimes go on for the entire weekend. They mentioned the boom really started when the girls were treated on a par with the boys, as you mention your daughter is doing.

I can't imagine facing the expense of a wedding twice. It's a wonderful day in the life of a child and deserves to be celebrated. But it sounds like the competition is getting out of hand. I imagine it's similar in LI.

Good luck. I know it must be an exciting time for your family.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

the ceremony and party will be at our synagogue.

I am NOT going to let her spend $1000 on a dress! but the party expenses are similar to a wedding. groan.

I will kvell the whole bat mitzvah, I'm sure.