when everything in life sucks all at once... you come to the DIS

[becpee]

awww, bec, you're making me all mushy.

i came into work and decided to do a littler personal follow up. turns out i over-reacted a little. they really just wanted to know what was going on and if there was anything they could do to help... while pointing out the effect that it was having on the other employees.

so i'm a bad employee, but they know it's for a reason, so i'm not a truly bad employee

lol. it makes my head hurt how business works sometimes. they have told me not to stress, and that they just want me better. by that, it means the company's bottom line for meeting levels of service etc they want to be better, and since i am affecting that... lol. they're trying to be nice, but they have a very clear & very obviously pointed motive/investment in me getting better. i get it.

so... it turns out they weren't trying to be malicious. just... direct about the impact so i would keep that in mind next time i am ill. lol. as if i could forget about work while hooked up to machines in hospital. what were they thinking???

so... i'm good with it now. no target. no maliciousness. just... blunt and forthright awareness of the impacts.

turns out being ill scrapes you raw emotionally so that you over-react to even small criticisms

Buy a lotto ticket anyway

I get what they're saying, and if they're offering you help, take it, it's an investment for them also, some people just have no tact really and don't know what words to use to express what they're trying to say without sounding belittling even when they're being nice LOL

I'm very lucky i've never experienced any ongoing illnesses so I don't know what you're going through, but even if you're feeling a little bit off the littlest things can seems like mountains to us but to everybody else they're just little bumps in the road, so an illness that has no end is going to take alot out of you physically, mentally and emotionally, hope they're a little nice to you and if possible lighten your workload, less stress is great for productivity

Glad you're feeling better

 

[alicia1506]

so it turns out that they were just being giant pains and tactless and really pointed. they wanted me to get their message of 'you suck' but in a non-agressive way. they also are genuinely interested in me getting better. i guess i picked up on more of the former, and not so much of the latter, probably as it was just a shock to what i was expecting them to say.

so now i feel less stressed, but certainly as though i have to be conscientious about how my actions and work performance is perceived.

i go back to the specialist in 3 weeks, so i have to get cracking on having some of these tests done, and i have to try and schedule them all outside of work hours. argh!!!

on another note... i did buy that lotto ticket. if i win, i'm quitting my day job, that's for sure, and upgrading our disney trip

 

[PrincessInOz]

Glad that the new day brought a new perspective.

Just remember....your employer (current or otherwise) will never be there at your bedside when you're sick. And ... not to be maudlin.....if you were run over by a bus, the best you can hope for is that your colleagues chip in to buy a bunch of flowers. Sadly, that's the way of business these days.

Get better soon.

 

[alicia1506]

Oh, and buy a lotto ticket tonight, you gotta be in it to win it

so... i went and bought a lotto ticket like you suggested and we won!!!!

first time ever i have won anything on a lotto ticket -- those are some good vibes you have!!!

admittedly... we won $21.30. but still. we won something. i was walking around today with a little smile on my face. that will buy us our very first bahama mamas + tax + tip!!!

 

[becpee]

so... i went and bought a lotto ticket like you suggested and we won!!!!

first time ever i have won anything on a lotto ticket -- those are some good vibes you have!!!

admittedly... we won $21.30. but still. we won something. i was walking around today with a little smile on my face. that will buy us our very first bahama mamas + tax + tip!!!

Love it!

 

[alicia1506]

thanks for the good vibes and the suggestion.

if i had've won in a higher division, i would have def handed some monies to you as a thank you.

instead, all i have is this as a way of getting me out of my funk and into a better head space. i'm still ill. in fact, i was in excrutiating pain at work today and couldn't take the pills because they make me loopy...

and i look like a hag from the bags under my eyes and pallor of my skin. and the big computer in the study just blew up and has to be replaced, and i need 2 x fillings as my dentist oh so gleefully mentioned at my check up today.

but i'm in a better head space and a better mood, so life is good again.

thanks DISers.

 

[aussietravellers]

Have just caught up on your situation Alicia.

I have to say that I was screaming down the computer reading your first post. Blimy you are legitimately sick, they can't treat you like that!

I am glad after reading further that it is not as bad as it first seemed. I still think that they were rather rude and went a little far with their comments. I am sure that you would dearly love less sick days and to have your illness sorted out! Compassion people... compassion.

I am also thrilled that you had a win in lotto, even though it was a small one, it was a win none the less. Karma, that's what it was, you deserved that win!

Anyway I hope that your work colleagues and bosses continues on a positive path and that you get your health problems sorted out soon

 

[alicia1506]

hey aussietravellers -- yeah, when i came home that day, i was majorly down. like... majorly.

but we had a nice v/day together.. nothing special, just the 2 of us hanging together, then i had my little lotto win, then at work today was given a personal, face to face comment on the quality of my work from another department head in another department who said he was in the process of drafting an email to my boss's boss (yes, he of the 'come into my office & chat for a bit' original post) to sing my praises.. then i got complimented on my work this afternoon from the 2IC for another team who was praising my work (clearly verbal compliments make me giddy and all the affirmation i need) and then i got home and our property manager for the complex i live in had completely landscaped our back yard for us so i got home to that great surprise. yayness.

this week seems to be turning out a little bit ok

too bad i have all my tests scheduled for saturday morning. that will be a barrel of laughs. or you know.. not.

 

[Snickals]

Ohh my gosh, can your company do that to you!? That is horrible I hope your health gets better soon and you are not too stressed by everything.
Congrats on the lotto win, you deserve good things!

 

[Ms. Shuttergirl]

Glad to hear that the company perhaps were not being as "suckworthy" as we all thought, although I do think they were a little abrupt with the way they handled it.

Yay for the lotto win too. Chin up luv.

 

[alicia1506]

lol. no. not quite as suckworthy. although i did share what happened with a colleague at work who is also less than enamoured with them, and he was blown away that they had raked me over the coals for being sick when .. umm hello.. can't control how sick i get.

by that same vein... had an attack at work today. fever, chills, unimaginable pain etc and my 2ic came over and was concerned that i should be at home or seeking some kind of treatment... she was all for calling 000 and sending me back to hospital. my immediate supervisor came over and was like 'oh not again... you're not going home now are you?' ... so i stuck it out. and consequently cabbed it home ($$$ - ouch), fell onto the couch and begged my dearest man to please god bring me the pills to take away the pain...so now i'm loopy ... but pain free. tests and such scheduled for tomorrow.

yay for human pin cushion time.

ahh well. answers are good, right? yeah. ok then. chin up.

 

[becpee]

lol. no. not quite as suckworthy. although i did share what happened with a colleague at work who is also less than enamoured with them, and he was blown away that they had raked me over the coals for being sick when .. umm hello.. can't control how sick i get.

by that same vein... had an attack at work today. fever, chills, unimaginable pain etc and my 2ic came over and was concerned that i should be at home or seeking some kind of treatment... she was all for calling 000 and sending me back to hospital. my immediate supervisor came over and was like 'oh not again... you're not going home now are you?' ... so i stuck it out. and consequently cabbed it home ($$$ - ouch), fell onto the couch and begged my dearest man to please god bring me the pills to take away the pain...so now i'm loopy ... but pain free. tests and such scheduled for tomorrow.

yay for human pin cushion time.

ahh well. answers are good, right? yeah. ok then. chin up.

Good luck for tomorrow, human pin cushion huh?

Just think of the bigger picture...
Back to work fully, save more money, back to Disney

 

[alicia1506]

Good luck for tomorrow, human pin cushion huh?

Just think of the bigger picture...
Back to work fully, save more money, back to Disney

lol. saving for disney is what's getting me through the days it is definitely my reward for all the bad that has happened recently.

had the tests today and i felt very ill afterwards, so much blood taken and i had to fast so that played around with my system when i finally went to eat, and i was horrendously ill for the rest of today. another pain attack this afternoon so i'm doped up on the medicine right now... they gave me a refill which was supposed to last a month, and it has lasted less than a week and a half. seems my symptoms are getting stronger and the issue (whatever it is) is getting more pronounced. not happy at all. but at least the tests will *fingers crossed* show what the issue is...

 

[PrincessInOz]

Alicia - I hope you get answers ASAP. I'm concerned that it seems to be getting worse and no one seems to know what it is.

Take care!

 

[alicia1506]

Alicia - I hope you get answers ASAP. I'm concerned that it seems to be getting worse and no one seems to know what it is.

Take care!

yes... it bothers me as well. most of my life, i've had small health complaints that when tested proved to have absolutely no corroboration from tests/scans/procedures etc. i originally thought this was one of those things... certainly the pain and the symptoms were there but weren't likely to be anything...

then the hospital visit happened & it turns out there was something there... acalculous biliary colic and associated pain. but it also turns out there are a whole range of things that can cause this.. or it could just be that i will be in pain for the rest of my life.

in the meantime, i am not eating anything and living on meal replacement shakes to ensure some level of nutrition ...