Would you be honest? Reference

If u aren't comfortable writing one then don't

I work in a spec ed school and have to write them. If a student has told me to F off multiple times I dont write about great communication skills. I do find something positive like excelling at time management if assignments are completes in time.

How was this girl with the kids? If she was good when she was there for example I would write something like. In the brief time xxx was volunteering she was able to build great rapport with the children she worked with.

But again if you can't find any positives then I guess u can't write the letter
 
I would tell her no in an email.

I would also say, if she would like to talk to you about you are welcome to call. Just provide the phone number. Tell her that you are going to block your own number for personal reasons.

If she calls have a frank discussion. Some people are open to learning why they were turned down (for real) and making changes.

She may call or she may not.
 
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I would explain to the young woman that you cannot provide a very good reference for her because of ABC. This way she learns a lesson about responsibility and the consequences of flaking and you are not in a place that you feel uncomfortable
 

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