Lilacs4Me
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2015
I have no idea how this happened, but in two areas of my life right now I am in the middle of grown adults who are acting like middle school girls.
If you found yourself in the middle of something like the two scenarios below, would you just ignore everyone and let the chips lie where they fall, or give people a heads up? I'll give details here just because I need to vent before I go insane lol, but really the details aren't important - you can pretty much fill in the details with whatever situation you have dealt/are dealing with.
1. Work - Boss has a project that she needs someone to step up and lead. Myself and three other people already have projects we are leading and are not expected or wanted, in this case, to volunteer. A few other people would be good fits someday but are relatively new. It would be great for them, but they would need some handholding (which would fall on me and the other 3). There are 3 MORE people who have the most tenure (11, 16, and 15 years with the company) who NEVER lead anything...they seem like they are sort of just hanging around waiting for retirement in 10 years.
Boss asks again at our team meeting last week. The 3 long-timers are silent. One of the 4 of us who already has a project speaks up and says he will do it. Then one of the long-timers asked if boss has given any thought as to when we might add another work at home day (we are going full-on remote as of Jan 1st). Boss kind of lights into her and says we have too much going on with training the new people and getting all our ducks in a row before even thinking about adding remote working to the mix.
The next day, co-worker sent me a copy of a schedule she put together for each employee to get an extra day at home. I said I would wait to send it because I don't think it will be received well, but she said she is sending it to our boss this week anyway. (OK, whatever...it's her problem, not mine!) Then, yesterday, boss and I were talking about upcoming training schedules (I am one of the key trainers for the department) and without so many words, was very clearly annoyed by coworker NOT stepping up, then trying to push the remote working subject. It's not the first time. I would consider co-worker my work friend. Would you tell her to stop pushing the issue or just wait and watch the inevitable explosion happen?
2. Another "work friend-ish" type of person and I run a volunteer organization together. She is upset (we both are) at the lack of support we get from the other part of the organization and there has been some drama with the ladies on the other side of things attacking us in email and even bringing my friend's 13 year old daughter into the issue in a way. I handled it by talking to the president like an adult. She handles it by fighting with the other women in the group and then running back to the president and "tattling". He got sick of it and told her to stop. She keeps doing it. He's getting to the end of his rope. They both have valid points. He and she are friends outside of this, in a way that I am not. If I wasn't doing this I would probably never talk to them other than a hello in passing. Would you tell her that she isn't "getting" his signals that he is done listening to her tattle?
These are all grown adults! Sigh! My normal M.O. is to back out of anything that has to do with anything like this and not get involved, but I am involved in ways that I can't just ignore it without it affecting me. I don't gossip and I don't involve myself in other people's lives - ever. Lately, though, all of these people come to me and tell me these things, so I am right in the middle with a highly vested interest in both the organization and my career!
If you found yourself in the middle of something like the two scenarios below, would you just ignore everyone and let the chips lie where they fall, or give people a heads up? I'll give details here just because I need to vent before I go insane lol, but really the details aren't important - you can pretty much fill in the details with whatever situation you have dealt/are dealing with.
1. Work - Boss has a project that she needs someone to step up and lead. Myself and three other people already have projects we are leading and are not expected or wanted, in this case, to volunteer. A few other people would be good fits someday but are relatively new. It would be great for them, but they would need some handholding (which would fall on me and the other 3). There are 3 MORE people who have the most tenure (11, 16, and 15 years with the company) who NEVER lead anything...they seem like they are sort of just hanging around waiting for retirement in 10 years.
Boss asks again at our team meeting last week. The 3 long-timers are silent. One of the 4 of us who already has a project speaks up and says he will do it. Then one of the long-timers asked if boss has given any thought as to when we might add another work at home day (we are going full-on remote as of Jan 1st). Boss kind of lights into her and says we have too much going on with training the new people and getting all our ducks in a row before even thinking about adding remote working to the mix.
The next day, co-worker sent me a copy of a schedule she put together for each employee to get an extra day at home. I said I would wait to send it because I don't think it will be received well, but she said she is sending it to our boss this week anyway. (OK, whatever...it's her problem, not mine!) Then, yesterday, boss and I were talking about upcoming training schedules (I am one of the key trainers for the department) and without so many words, was very clearly annoyed by coworker NOT stepping up, then trying to push the remote working subject. It's not the first time. I would consider co-worker my work friend. Would you tell her to stop pushing the issue or just wait and watch the inevitable explosion happen?
2. Another "work friend-ish" type of person and I run a volunteer organization together. She is upset (we both are) at the lack of support we get from the other part of the organization and there has been some drama with the ladies on the other side of things attacking us in email and even bringing my friend's 13 year old daughter into the issue in a way. I handled it by talking to the president like an adult. She handles it by fighting with the other women in the group and then running back to the president and "tattling". He got sick of it and told her to stop. She keeps doing it. He's getting to the end of his rope. They both have valid points. He and she are friends outside of this, in a way that I am not. If I wasn't doing this I would probably never talk to them other than a hello in passing. Would you tell her that she isn't "getting" his signals that he is done listening to her tattle?
These are all grown adults! Sigh! My normal M.O. is to back out of anything that has to do with anything like this and not get involved, but I am involved in ways that I can't just ignore it without it affecting me. I don't gossip and I don't involve myself in other people's lives - ever. Lately, though, all of these people come to me and tell me these things, so I am right in the middle with a highly vested interest in both the organization and my career!
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