Hi everyone - thanks so much for all of your messages of support. Well, it is now four weeks since we recieved the awful 'phonecall that was to change our lives forever... Miles is still fighting hard and we are trying everything we can to help us to make the most of everyday.
I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer when I was in my teens. I wanted to maybe give you some perspective from your daughters side of things. Of course, I can only speak for me, and hope you dont take this like I am trying to pretend I know your daughter but my mom told my dad she didn't want us to know what was going on, that she wanted us to not have to worry as we were writing exams etc. So, we had no idea how serious things were and I still feel like if I had known maybe I would have had some opportunity to really talk to my mom and share stuff with her.
Thanks for this DutchsMommy. As a family, we have always been really close and honest with eachother, so my Daughter has been involved in every step of this journey - right from when we first learned about the scarring on Miles' lungs. It was so hard to tell her that there was nothing that could be done to help her Dad, but we promised that she would always be the first to know how things were developing. She knows how precious every minute is... I hope we have done the right thing, it sounds like you might think that we have...
I would take what time you have and live each second as if it were a blessing from God... I wish I were more religious...if you have great faith, call on that to get you through and I also found it was the kindness of strangers, not necessarily family, that gets me through each day..
Marsha, my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time, I hope that you are able to find some peace. I too wish that I did have strong faith to comfort me, sadly I do not... but luckliy for me, I have many strangers who are helping me through each day - and I am so grateful to you all...
I hope you can find some comfort and guidance from the sites folks have listed for you above. I would advise seeking some counseling at some point for your daughter, too. My girls were young teens when my husband passed suddenly (massive heart attack) and they adored their dad. Grief counseling did help somewhat for them.
I have found support thanks CarolAnn - especially from the good people here on this thread. My daughter has seen a counsellor at school today (they arranged the visit and gave her the option of going to the session) but she says she found it more distressing than useful... The counsellor asked her how long she thought her Dad was going to live for, and if she thought that she would still have contact with her Dad's family after he was gone! I was disappointed at best and a little angry to be honest...It doesn't sound like they called in the right people at all!
Anyway, on a more positive note, I have arranged for Miles to have a Reiki session tomorrow morning, and we are both having reflexology in a few days. It should help us to feel less stressed if nothing else...
As the saying goes, today is a gift - that's why they call it the present. It is received with great thanks and I'm going to make the most of every minute of it with my wonderful husband when he wakes up... Thanks again to everyone for your messages - I can't tell you how much you have all helped.
Amanda