snapppyd
God is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy!
- Joined
- May 11, 2009
This is not an April Fool's joke. They are back, and they brought a racoon along for good measure. I have six (new) holes in my roof as of this weekend. 
It's going to cost a couple of thousand to install metal guards around the entire upper roof. 
We were awakened by a scratching sound in the attic. Followed by footsteps. Could it be a mouse? A raccoon? A SQUIRREL???
Dh wants to investigate. I say what if it jumps on your head? So he puts on his hard hat (yes, he owns one from work), a coverall and work gloves. Armed with a flashlight in one hand and a spray bottle of Windex in the other, he pulls down the attic steps. (His aunt, the great hunter, told us to just spray whatever it is in the face if it came near us- sounds like a plan). There is evidence on the steps. He starts to sweat. All is quiet so he ventures to the stop of the stairs.
He gingerly steps onto a beam. Me, all protected by my winter pajamas, goes up to poke my head in and look around. Im brave like that.
Suddenly we hear something running.
Me: Its just a squirrel running across the roof.
DH: BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now my heart is pounding out of my chest as I run down the stairs. DH comes running after me, his hardhat rolling down the stairs ahead of him, sweating like a pig on a spit, and slams the attic stairs shut. Close the bedroom door, what if they eat through the attic stairs and come down to get us? OMG there are squirrels in the attic! RUN!
OMG, what do we do??? Where are the yellow pages? I dont know, where did you put them?
You dont know where the yellow pages are? DO YOU??
DH: "maybe we should sell the house!?"
We finally find the yellow pages, but who do we call?? Animal carcass removal? No, they are alive.
Terminex? No, these are not bugs. The Humane Society? No, who wants these as pets. Critter Control? Critter Control - wow! Now we have a plan!
Meet my new best friend, Mike. Mike works on Sunday! Mike is funny! As he was climbing his big ladder to my roof I told him Im afraid of heights, I dont even like standing on a chair. He said yeah, me too!.
My new best friend Mike found a big hole behind the gutters where our new tenants have been going in and out. He installed a cage thingy with a one way door to evict them. Hes coming back this weekend to repair the hole after they all leave. I heart Mike. I think DH hearts Mike too!
It's going to cost a couple of thousand to install metal guards around the entire upper roof. We were awakened by a scratching sound in the attic. Followed by footsteps. Could it be a mouse? A raccoon? A SQUIRREL???
Dh wants to investigate. I say what if it jumps on your head? So he puts on his hard hat (yes, he owns one from work), a coverall and work gloves. Armed with a flashlight in one hand and a spray bottle of Windex in the other, he pulls down the attic steps. (His aunt, the great hunter, told us to just spray whatever it is in the face if it came near us- sounds like a plan). There is evidence on the steps. He starts to sweat. All is quiet so he ventures to the stop of the stairs.
He gingerly steps onto a beam. Me, all protected by my winter pajamas, goes up to poke my head in and look around. Im brave like that.
Suddenly we hear something running.
Me: Its just a squirrel running across the roof.
DH: BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now my heart is pounding out of my chest as I run down the stairs. DH comes running after me, his hardhat rolling down the stairs ahead of him, sweating like a pig on a spit, and slams the attic stairs shut. Close the bedroom door, what if they eat through the attic stairs and come down to get us? OMG there are squirrels in the attic! RUN!
OMG, what do we do??? Where are the yellow pages? I dont know, where did you put them?
You dont know where the yellow pages are? DO YOU??
DH: "maybe we should sell the house!?"
We finally find the yellow pages, but who do we call?? Animal carcass removal? No, they are alive.
Terminex? No, these are not bugs. The Humane Society? No, who wants these as pets. Critter Control? Critter Control - wow! Now we have a plan!
Meet my new best friend, Mike. Mike works on Sunday! Mike is funny! As he was climbing his big ladder to my roof I told him Im afraid of heights, I dont even like standing on a chair. He said yeah, me too!.
My new best friend Mike found a big hole behind the gutters where our new tenants have been going in and out. He installed a cage thingy with a one way door to evict them. Hes coming back this weekend to repair the hole after they all leave. I heart Mike. I think DH hearts Mike too!
(FYI...It DOES NOT kill Wolf Spiders)
It DOES???
