As someone who often wonders if the job I'm in is really a good fit, I'm curious about this. I'm guessing you don't want to share details here but if you did, I'd read them
Always happy to talk more in depth if you want to PM. The couple of things that I think make sense to say here:
-Just like with everything, your mileage may vary. I am under no illusion that my experience is the normal one and we all have different personalities. And I'm not even sure where I completely fall down on this
-Generally speaking, after year 3 of my job, and my wondering (openly, audibly to my partner and therapist and everyone) if this is what I'm meant to do/where I was meant to be. And I think that for some people, if you keep having that question, it may be a sign that you're not in the right spot.
-But, it could also be a major case of imposter syndrome, right? And nothing is perfect; so we have to figure out where the line is between general dissatisfaction or ambition and a sense of, "No, this actually isn't meant to be."
-This, for me, has extended far beyond work. For instance, a long time ago, my best friend and I had a series of heart-to-hearts about whether we felt we'd ever find someone to be passionately in love with, or if we should be okay with "this is comfortable but relatively neutral." We both had grown up in turbulent households and didn't want that anymore, so there was a sense of "Let's settle into something calm." On one hand, I think that makes sense and I love all of the memes and FB posts about how love doesn't have to run hot or cold. On the other hand, I think about a recent episode of Ted Lasso where a character is asked their opinion of someone's potential partner and their response is (paraphrasing), "They're fine. But you deserve more than someone who just feels fine - don't settle."
- and I see points to both of those.
-Back to work - there was a moment a few years ago where the "best" job in my field/area was within reach but I had a few months to wrestle with whether or not I wanted it. For a while I didn't, which made me wonder if I wasn't as good as others. And then I did because maybe my style was just what was needed. At the end of the day (and six months), I realized that I was mostly looking to take it out of ego and prestige and not whether or not it was a good fit (and this is something I still explore in therapy - there's a part of me that backs off of the spotlight - and is that because I'm better suited for the background or because I limit myself). Another tv reference - this time it's The West Wing.
President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: [to Josh] "You know what the difference is between you and me? I want to be the guy. You want to be the guy the guy counts on." And at the end of the day, I much prefer to be the stage manager or the guy that the [person] counts on.
OK, plenty of rambling. Let me just reiterate as someone who sort of gave advice for a living - don't take other people's advice to heart too much. I can't count the times that I shared a story of my own experience and someone heard it and thought, "This is a sign!" when the truth is that our lives are all different and what works for me doesn't necessarily work for you. It's good to consider stories that feel pertinent - but only you know your life and circumstances (not that I think you would - but I always feel like that caveat is useful).