Just a Pinch.. Post for the women here

[dez1978]

On tiktok there have been a ton of videos lately about the pain women feel during "minor" procedures like IUD insertion and how we are just ignored and told to take some advil. There are hundreds of comments on these videos about how painful IUDs, biopsies etc are and how we are offered ZERO pain management before, during or after. There are comments from Drs talking about how they were taught that the cervix doesn't have nerve endings (um what??) and that none of these things are any more painful than a period. Of course there are women who commented saying it really wasnt that bad, and others who say it was worse than unmedicated child birth (just a shorter duration). Yet if a man gets a vasectomy he gets numbed and real pain meds. I had 2 c sections and got vicoden for 2 days and sent home with advil... Another thread here made me think about this too and how often women are not really given all the information by medical providers that they need to make an informed decision. I know personally I've had it happen 3 times to me with different drs each time. 1 was a dr blowing off my PPD and saying it was just hormones and it would go away. 2 (maybe tmi) pregnancy left me with horrible hemorrhoids which required surgery. I asked the dr many times about the recovery and how painful it would be after reading about it online. She told me it wasn't really that bad, and that people only write about their negative experinces online and its greatly exagerrated. OMG, I'd rather have another csection before Id do that again. and 3, went in to talk about having long periods and the possibility of an ablation. Dr said sure, while your here lets go ahead and get this test done and then we can schedule it. That test was an endometrial biopsy. She said you'll feel a little discomfort. nooooooo.... I had to have DH come get me because I was shaking so bad I couldn't drive home.

Why is this so common??? Thoughts?

 

[holden]

I completely agree. I have had several gyn procedures (for endo and fibroids) and have nearly passed out because of the pain. It's ridiculous.

I will never again consent to a procedure without some kind of medicine (valium? not sure what they offer).

 

[dez1978]

I completely agree. I have had several gyn procedures (for endo and fibroids) and have nearly passed out because of the pain. It's ridiculous.

I will never again consent to a procedure without some kind of medicine (valium? not sure what they offer).

one of the videos I saw was from an anesthesiologist who said they can do the same type of thing they do when you have a colonoscopy (twillight maybe) and there are local anesthetics they can use as well. And of course anxiety reducing meds like valium.

 

[DLgal]

You know, I think with any medical procedure, there is a wide variety of pain tolerance. I do understand that women are very often dismissed and told they are over exaggerating, and that is not right, but a LOT of times, it is also true that women do NOT speak up or advocate for themselves (and there are a plethora of reasons for this too, but I won't go down that rabbit hole.)

I have had a LOT of medical procedures and have had a lifetime of dealing with very painful chronic conditions. Perhaps as a result, I am VERY clear with doctors about my ability to tolerate pain and what works and doesn't work and that I have a very good intuition about my body and when I know something is wrong, I will not back down until I am taken seriously.

I can tolerate a lot of pain, but I will not let anyone tell me "it's not that bad." Thankfully, I have generally had great doctors who listen and don't insult my intelligence by suggesting that I don't know what I'm talking about. Its unfortunate that medical standards vary so widely from place to place.

With that said, I had a very invasive "female" procedure with no sedatives or pain meds, simply because I could not find anyone to drive me that day and ride shares were not a thing back then, and the drive was far too long to take a cab. So, I drove myself and insisted that I'd be fine. And I was. It was painful, but honestly not excruciating. And I was fully numbed up before the procedure so not sure why this isn't done for everyone. My sister had a cone biopsy and was given a numbing injection as well as valium. She also had a numbing injection for her IUD insertion and removal due to the presence of scar tissue after that cone biopsy made insertion difficult.

I think "female pain" is just something that is so highly variable, but every women should be listened to and respected when they speak about their pain level, regardless of where the pain is coming from. And women need to learn to be comfortable speaking up about their bodies and their pain. Doctors are not mind readers.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Just to clarify, I am not sticking up for anyone, because, as I mentioned on that thread, I’ve been through many of these procedures myself. And now I know enough to take 800mg of Motrin beforehand as well as to bring a hot water bottle with me for the ride home and get a hot coffee or tea, etc.

But when I really noticed the individual differences in tolerance for procedures was when it comes to hysterectomy, ie when I was looking into that issue myself, as in, about to have one. Besides the fact that most hysterectomies are a day procedure now when they used to involve a four day hospital stay, many women said they went back to work within a week after their procedures. Wow. Hmm. Why is it, then, that some take six weeks or more to recover? Well, IME it’s a combination of tolerance and maybe even some misinformation, which comes at both the heels of the medical team (when they don’t provide enough education) and the patient (when they don’t seek out enough information OR don’t pay attention to it).

But basically when it comes to most procedures, every experience is unique. For some, they’re easy, and for some, they’re not. Not very different than pregnancy or even breastfeeding experiences, really.

 

[ronandannette]

...3, went in to talk about having long periods and the possibility of an ablation. Dr said sure, while your here lets go ahead and get this test done and then we can schedule it. That test was an endometrial biopsy. She said you'll feel a little discomfort. nooooooo.... I had to have DH come get me because I was shaking so bad I couldn't drive home.

Why is this so common??? Thoughts?

Oh my yes - I had a very similar thing happen during my one-and-only gyne consult while I was going through menopause. I would still shudder if I let myself think about it.

Many years ago, as part of the follow-up care after treatment for low-grade cervical cancer, I had to go in for periodic punch-biopsies. No, not once was I offered anesthetic or pain management. It hurt as much psychologically as it did physically and I was heartsick for days before each of them.

Coupled with the numerous routine painful and undignified procedures women face over the course of their lives, I am firmly convinced there is some weird misogyny involved and bafflingly, women doctors are just as bad. There's literally no way to explain this adequately to men - there is simply nothing in their experience they could even begin to identify with.

Stay strong sisters, and don't hesitate for one second to advocate for your own best interests and those of your mothers and daughters.

 

[dez1978]

You know, I think with any medical procedure, there is a wide variety of pain tolerance. I do understand that women are very often dismissed and told they are over exaggerating, and that is not right, but a LOT of times, it is also true that women do NOT speak up or advocate for themselves (and there are a plethora of reasons for this too, but I won't go down that rabbit hole.)

I have had a LOT of medical procedures and have had a lifetime of dealing with very painful chronic conditions. Perhaps as a result, I am VERY clear with doctors about my ability to tolerate pain and what works and doesn't work and that I have a very good intuition about my body and when I know something is wrong, I will not back down until I am taken seriously.

I can tolerate a lot of pain, but I will not let anyone tell me "it's not that bad." Thankfully, I have generally had great doctors who listen and don't insult my intelligence by suggesting that I don't know what I'm talking about. Its unfortunate that medical standards vary so widely from place to place.

With that said, I had a very invasive "female" procedure with no sedatives or pain meds, simply because I could not find anyone to drive me that day and ride shares were not a thing back then, and the drive was far too long to take a cab. So, I drove myself and insisted that I'd be fine. And I was. It was painful, but honestly not excruciating. And I was fully numbed up before the procedure so not sure why this isn't done for everyone. My sister had a cone biopsy and was given a numbing injection as well as valium. She also had a numbing injection for her IUD insertion and removal due to the presence of scar tissue after that cone biopsy made insertion difficult.

I think "female pain" is just something that is so highly variable, but every women should be listened to and respected when they speak about their pain level, regardless of where the pain is coming from. And women need to learn to be comfortable speaking up about their bodies and their pain. Doctors are not mind readers.

While I agree we need to speak up, more often than not we are still blown off. You shouldn't have to insist on numbing meds for something they know is going to hurt. You shouldn't have to tolerate pain just because you can. Based on the comments in so many of those videos, women are asking for pain management and being ignored.

 

[shh]

I do understand that women are very often dismissed and told they are over exaggerating,

I got this attitude from doc and nurses at a previous obgyn. I fired them post haste and found a new provider who's better. I hope more women refuse to settle for bad treatment or condescending attitudes...too many other providers around.

I will say I haven't found a male obgyn that listened, treated me or respected me as well as female docs. That's totally anecdotal, I know - as previous posters have experienced the same problems from female providers. . Just my personal experience that I did notice some difference.

Another difference was that both gyn females I liked were DOs vs MDs. DOs are equally credentialed to practice medicine, but their training is a bit more holistic/whole body geared - I think that makes a difference.

 

[dez1978]

Oh my yes - I had a very similar thing happen during my one-and-only gyne consult while I was going through menopause. I would still shudder if I let myself think about it.

Many years ago, as part of the follow-up care after treatment for low-grade cervical cancer, I had to go in for periodic punch-biopsies. No, not once was I offered anesthetic or pain management. It hurt as much psychologically as it did physically and I was heartsick for days before each of them.

Coupled with the numerous routine painful and undignified procedures women face over the course of their lives, I am firmly convinced there is some weird misogyny involved and bafflingly, women doctors are just as bad. There's literally no way to explain this adequately to men - there is simply nothing in their experience they could even begin to identify with.

Stay strong sisters, and don't hesitate for one second to advocate for your own best interests and those of your mothers and daughters.

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine. I had a colposcopy and that was bad enough.

Just to clarify, I am not sticking up for anyone, because, as I mentioned on that thread, I’ve been through many of these procedures myself. And now I know enough to take 800mg of Motrin beforehand as well as to bring a hot water bottle with me for the ride home and get a hot coffee or tea, etc.

But when I really noticed the individual differences in tolerance for procedures was when it comes to hysterectomy, ie when I was looking into that issue myself, as in, about to have one. Besides the fact that most hysterectomies are a day procedure now when they used to involve a four day hospital stay, many women said they went back to work within a week after their procedures. Wow. Hmm. Why is it, then, that some take six weeks or more to recover? Well, IME it’s a combination of tolerance and maybe even some misinformation, which comes at both the heels of the medical team (when they don’t provide enough education) and the patient (when they don’t seek out enough information OR don’t pay attention to it).

But basically when it comes to most procedures, every experience is unique. For some, they’re easy, and for some, they’re not. Not very different than pregnancy or even breastfeeding experiences, really.

For sure, everyon'e pain tolerance is different. Some people don't think tattoos hurt for others they could never sit thru one. But becasue for some women it's not that bad, doesn't mean other women's pain shouldn't be treated and taken seriously

 

[DLgal]

Based on the comments in so many of those videos, women are asking for pain management and being ignored.

Then they should get up and walk out the door. Seriously.

I was in a situation like that once and I threatened to walk out mid procedure if my pain was not addressed. It was addressed. And I never went back to that doctor again.

 

[Christine]

My GYN has always been very good about pain meds. I was having a procedure to remove a cervical polyp and they were going to do twilight and everything, but I didn't want that and asked to have it done without (and it was fine).

Like @ronandannette, I've also had the punch biopsy done. The doctor used LOTS of numbing injections before the biopsy. The injections themselves were very painful and then, of course, they used a needle so I was sore for a long time after. That's one procedure that probably needs sedation! I had other cervical things done and I never really felt much without sedation but they were superficial things.

 

[ronandannette]

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine. I had a colposcopy and that was bad enough.

For sure, everyon'e pain tolerance is different. Some people don't think tattoos hurt for others they could never sit thru one. But becasue for some women it's not that bad, doesn't mean other women's pain shouldn't be treated and taken seriously

And it's truly puzzling why it's not handled proactively by doctors. I just really don't understand. At this age-and-stage I'm experienced, self-aware and capable of advocating for myself. 20 years ago, not so much, nor are many women of any age. Our care should include way, way more deference to comfort (and dignity) than it does.

 

[prairie_girl]

You know, I think with any medical procedure, there is a wide variety of pain tolerance. I do understand that women are very often dismissed and told they are over exaggerating, and that is not right, but a LOT of times, it is also true that women do NOT speak up or advocate for themselves (and there are a plethora of reasons for this too, but I won't go down that rabbit hole.)

I have had a LOT of medical procedures and have had a lifetime of dealing with very painful chronic conditions. Perhaps as a result, I am VERY clear with doctors about my ability to tolerate pain and what works and doesn't work and that I have a very good intuition about my body and when I know something is wrong, I will not back down until I am taken seriously.

I can tolerate a lot of pain, but I will not let anyone tell me "it's not that bad." Thankfully, I have generally had great doctors who listen and don't insult my intelligence by suggesting that I don't know what I'm talking about. Its unfortunate that medical standards vary so widely from place to place.

With that said, I had a very invasive "female" procedure with no sedatives or pain meds, simply because I could not find anyone to drive me that day and ride shares were not a thing back then, and the drive was far too long to take a cab. So, I drove myself and insisted that I'd be fine. And I was. It was painful, but honestly not excruciating. And I was fully numbed up before the procedure so not sure why this isn't done for everyone. My sister had a cone biopsy and was given a numbing injection as well as valium. She also had a numbing injection for her IUD insertion and removal due to the presence of scar tissue after that cone biopsy made insertion difficult.

I think "female pain" is just something that is so highly variable, but every women should be listened to and respected when they speak about their pain level, regardless of where the pain is coming from. And women need to learn to be comfortable speaking up about their bodies and their pain. Doctors are not mind readers.

I’m pretty good at pain tolerance too. I wish I would have spoken up before I had my colposcopy because holy smokes that was unpleasant. It was even worse because as my doctor said ‘you have a very difficult V’ Yeah, she sure is difficult lol

When I was around 25 I had a consult with a gyn about getting a hysterectomy because I was bleeding soooo much every month. He told me no because I might get remarried and want more kids. He put me on 3 bc pills a day and did absolutely no follow up with me. About three years later I hemorrhaged and almost needed a transfusion because so much lining had built up. I also became anemic because of it. Now, i am my own advocate. I wish I would have known to be back then.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The first time I had an endometrial biopsy (I think I’ve had three or four), the OB/GYN doing the procedure was super nice, and told me that if she saw my toes curl up, she would stop! I was so impressed with her sensitivity that I told her if I ever became pregnant, I was going to choose her as my GYN - and I did! (Weirdly enough, she didn’t deliver my babies, but my GYN now is the doctor who did deliver them after the other lady moved away.)

 

[RogueX]

A gyn I had actually stopped during insertiin of an IUD because she could see that I was in pain and we decided together that it was probably not the best option for me. Of course this was after ruling out the pill, the shot, and a bunch of other contraception options because if complications or bad side effects. My husband scheduled his vasectomy without any qualms...and didn't even flinch when he found out that he had to have it done again, the first time didn't take.

Now, the neurologists on the other hand, that's been another story. I've had one that prescribed me something contraindicated for my specific type of migraine. I had another who wouldn't respond to questions at all and then a resident yelled at me about patients needing to learn to advocate for themselves. My last neurologist came to the end of the line and referred me to a headache specialist. When I met this specialist, the first thing I said to him was "don't just listen to what I'm saying, hear what I'm saying. If you can't help me, no one will treat me." He was fascinated by that, looked at my list of previous medications and told me he liked a challenge.

 

[dez1978]

Then they should get up and walk out the door. Seriously.

I was in a situation like that once and I threatened to walk out mid procedure if my pain was not addressed. It was addressed. And I never went back to that doctor again.

Theres the thing. When my dr told me it would just be uncomfortable, I believed her. Why wouldn't I? How should I know prior to the procedure that she was wrong? When I asked the other dr about the surgery recovery, while something in my head told me it was going to be worse than she let on, why would I believe "Dr Google" over my actual dr? When my dr told me my PPD was just hormones and not to worry about it, why shouldn't I believe her? I mean I was already sure in my head I was the problem and if I was a better mom I wouldn't be feeling any of those things. These were all women, 2 of them were DOs. By the time you realize they were wrong you are already in the middle of it or it's too late. Sure you don't go back. But by then you've already suffered. we are supposed to trust the drs and we should be able to.

To say we should just KNOW our dr is wrong and walk out the door when we have no way to know they are wrong is ridiculous and dismissive.

 

[DLgal]

To say we should just KNOW our dr is wrong and walk out the door when we have no way to know they are wrong is ridiculous and dismissive.

That's not what I said at all. I said if you are in pain DURING a procedure, you speak up right then and there and demand pain management. You don't just suffer through it because your doctors said it would be fine. I felt pain in the MIDDLE of a c-section. I spoke up. The anesthesiologist adjusted my epidural. How would they know if I didn't say something? The anesthesiologist "assumed" the amount of medicine he had given me would be enough. It wasn't. Every patient is different.

Doctor's don't know everything. They are human and they are often wrong.

 

[dez1978]

And it's truly puzzling why it's not handled proactively by doctors. I just really don't understand. At this age-and-stage I'm experienced, self-aware and capable of advocating for myself. 20 years ago, not so much, nor are many women of any age. Our care should include way, way more deference to comfort (and dignity) than it does.

Exactly this. Only after bad experiences do you know you need to advocate for yourself. And even after those experiences so many women don't realize it's an option. And you are correct, it should be proactive. They certainly don't wait to see how a man responds during a vasectomy to see if he needs pain relief, it's just a given. Why do they wait to see if I can tolerate the pain when they can just alleviate it to begin with?

 

[dez1978]

That's not what I said at all. I said if you are in pain DURING a procedure, you speak up right then and there and demand pain management. You don't just suffer through it because your doctors said it would be fine. I felt pain in the MIDDLE of a c-section. I spoke up. The anesthesiologist adjusted my epidural. How would they know if I didn't say something? The anesthesiologist "assumed" the amount of medicine he had given me would be enough. It wasn't. Every patient is different.

Doctor's don't know everything. They are human and they are often wrong.

During my hour long c section, sure I had time to talk about it. During the min long biopsy, I only had time to yell and be in shock before it was over. But drs know those things are painful. And they should be honest with you about that up front. You shouldn't have to wait until your in extreme pain to find out that a thing is actually painful. And pretty sure its obvious by clenching, yelling crying or saying ow that hurts that you are in pain. So yeah, they know most of the time that it's painful. The issue is that they are dismissive of our pain to begin with and aren't honest up front. You shouldn't need to wait till you have a tenaculum hooked in your cervix to find out its painful.

 

[kerry1379]

While I do agree that women specifically are not taken seriously by doctors often times, I think it is a universal problem too. Heck, male babies used to not be given pain medicine during a circumcision because "babies didn't feel pain" or some other such nonsense. My husband had a failed root canal where they had to go back in through his gums (very painful) and they just sent him home with Motrin. He was in a lot of pain once the numbing wore off.

I think a big part of the problem is that because of the opiod addiction crisis, doctors are pressured to NOT give pain medicine very often. Which sucks because there are many people in legitimate pain that are really screwed because of that.