At what age would you leave a child alone in a stateroom?

[StarSeven7]

I want to start out by saying I'm not looking to start a debate and I know everyone parents differently! I'm really just curious about when most people think it's okay to leave a child alone in a stateroom on the ship. In our situation, we'll be cruising in January with me, DH, DD9 (turning 10 a few weeks after we get back), and DS6. I really haven't considered leaving them alone in the stateroom at all because I don't leave them at home alone ever (where I live, children are legally allowed to stay home alone at age 10, but not with a younger sibling). This past weekend I was discussing our cruise with my family (who live in a different area so they have no laws about it there) and a few of them mentioned that they thought it would be okay to leave my kids alone in the stateroom after they were asleep so my husband and I could go get a drink in the lounge, as long as I left a phone (or the wave phones?) for them to get a hold of me if needed. My DD chimed in and said she would be fine with that. I still don't know that I would really feel comfortable with that or if it's even allowed. What do most other people do? Do you consider leaving them alone in the stateroom onboard the ship the same as you would leaving them alone at home or in a hotel room? And does it make a difference to you if they are awake or asleep?

 

[tankin]

@StarSeven7 Here's what my wife and I have always said between us... Would we feel comfortable doing this at home?

So, if you'd be ok going to a neighbor for a drink, do it.

Personally, when my kids were that age, the veranda scared me (monkeys with no fears). I wouldn't have left them alone in a cabin, even asleep, if it had one.

Best of luck figuring it out.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

No way would I leave a 6 year old. With the 9 year old, it depends on the kid. Some 9 year olds are super responsible and I would be comfortable leaving alone in the stateroom. Some 9 year olds are no where near ready for that. And even in the case of the responsible 9 year old, I wouldn't leave the 6 year old with him/her.

The kids clubs are open until midnight. Use them.

 

[KashasMom]

No, I wouldn't do it at home, or at a hotel, or on the ship.

 

[ILoveMyKellen]

I know that at age 8 a child can check themselves out of the kids club but I am on the fence about that when we cruise in October. My husband thinks our 8 year old will be ok but it makes me nervous and as that nervous mom I would err on the side of caution.

 

[danielocha30]

I would look at the cruise policy, like they do at the parks they might have age restrictions for it. I’m not a fan of leaving a child looking after another child.

 

[StarSeven7]

We do plan to use the kids club, but my kids can’t stay up that late! Most nights they’ll probably need to be in bed by 9 (except maybe on the pirate night) so we’ll be in the room with them then. We have an ocean view room, not a verandah, so there isn’t really anywhere else for us to sit after they’re in bed. So it seems like most people agree with me and they wouldn’t leave them in the room alone. I wasn’t sure if I was just being overly cautious and everyone else was doing it!

 

[DietCokeMommy]

I think it really depends on your kids. Do they wake up a lot? Are they likely to notice you're not there and panic? Are they likely to try to leave or try to use the verandah door (if you have one)?

Once my kids fall asleep they are dead to the world. We've literally had deafeningly loud smoke detectors go off in our house that they've slept through. They pretty much never wake up in the night either. I also know that they won't touch the doors or be strong enough to open them. At those ages I would be ok leaving for a little while after they're asleep. But that's me and knowing my kids. You should do what you feel comfortable with. If you're not comfortable leaving your kids at those ages, then don't. Switch off with your husband and one of you can go walk around, use the adult pool or hot tub, shop, or get a drink while the other stays in the room with sleeping kids.

 

[LeeLeeK]

Is getting a drink while they are in the kids club but before their bed time an option? I personally know a couple that leave their 10 year old son alone at home but that isn't something I feel comfortable doing with my DD at home and especially not while on vacation.

 

[Anchored]

My kids were latchkey kids when they were in the 2nd and 5th grade (7 yrs old and 10 turning 11 respectively) (My son was going to the neighborhood park with friends without me at 6 years old)
As long as we didn't have a balcony, yes I would go enjoy a drink or walk or any time alone with my partner after I laid them down for bedtime as long as the wave phone or other mode of contact was available. My limit would probably be one hour.
I look at it this way, every day after they turn 9 years old, they are closer to moving out than being born. It is my JOB and responsibility as their parent to prepare them for real life and getting them used to a tiny bit of responsibility at 9 years old is perfectly fine IMO.

 

[mab2012]

Depends on the kid. If the child is comfortable with it, and the parent is comfortable with it, and the child knows how to contact or find an adult if necessary, and what to do in an emergency, I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving a school-aged child sleeping in a stateroom. Realistically, you're only going to be at most a couple of minutes away, and you can check on them frequently.

With kids who are relatively close in age, I personally wouldn't leave an older sibling responsible for a younger child. If my kids were 6 and 9, I wouldn't leave them alone together unless I was also comfortable leaving each of them alone.

I don't think we ever left our kids alone in a stateroom at 6, but that was more to do with their comfort level than ours. They wouldn't have wanted to wake up in the stateroom alone at that age. My younger child was 9 on our last cruise and was fine with being alone in the stateroom, even at night. My daughter was fine at that age during the day, but might have been a little older before she was comfortable being left alone at night. It didn't really come up much with her though, because we had to be there for the younger one anyway.

 

[ajgardner]

We do plan to use the kids club, but my kids can’t stay up that late! Most nights they’ll probably need to be in bed by 9 (except maybe on the pirate night) so we’ll be in the room with them then. We have an ocean view room, not a verandah, so there isn’t really anywhere else for us to sit after they’re in bed. So it seems like most people agree with me and they wouldn’t leave them in the room alone. I wasn’t sure if I was just being overly cautious and everyone else was doing it!

You May be surprised at how late they can or will want to stay up on the cruise. On our first cruise we would keep going to the kids club to pick up our son so he could go to bed, each time he asked for 1 more hour - he ended up staying until close every night! They also have a little area in the kids club where they can lay down, relax and watch a movie (or even nap).
But if they do want to go back to the room and sleep, it’s completely dependent on your comfort level, parenting style AND what you know about your kids. I would have had no issues with my (then) 6 year old and 11 year old in the room alone together (as long as it was BOTH of them there, not just my 6 year old alone). For us, if we had to be back in our room every night by 9 we would have waited to cruise because that would not have been enjoyable for my husband and I and would not have been worth the money for us. Everyone is completely different, only you know what works for you.

 

[tlprice]

My daughter has been leaving ME alone in the stateroom since she was 10. Most nights she closes down the kids club (or now Edge at 1 AM), and I can't stay awake that late! We started cruising when she was 8 and I'm sure she would have been fine if I'd left her alone in the room at night, but since she stayed up way later than me, that never happened. Like everybody has said, it depends on your kids. You know them best.

 

[Spotthecat]

Right now, my 9 and 6 year old are having the "you're breathing on me" fights, so there is no way I'd let the 9 year old be in charge of the 6 year old awake, let alone asleep. They both get scared when left alone, so if one woke and couldn't find us, ugh. My 11 year old routinely stayed out later than either me or DH last cruise, so perhaps on one of the nights we may ask him to be in the cabin while the other two sleep so we could do one late night activity. But usually, the swaying of the ship does me in and I'm the one looking to sleep early! They'll be 7, 10 and 13 on our next cruise in Nov 2020. I may revisit everything then if the 9 year old has matured a bit by then. Right now, the two younger ones together can't be trusted not to smack each other, lol.

 

[MomOTwins]

I think there's a reason 8-years old is the minimum age for kids to be able to check themselves in or out of the kids club: the number of 6 year olds that can handle the responsibility of being on their own in an unfamiliar place is pretty rare. I am, to be fair, a notorious worrier, but stuff HAPPENS. When one of my twins was 6 he fell off the ship bunkbed in the middle of the night trying to get down to go to the bathroom; he wasn't hurt aside from a couple bruises, but had he landed on his head instead of his bum, he might have been). And there have been reports here of glasses falling and shattering in rough weather, which can be a pretty big hazard that I don't think many 6-year olds could deal with. I also know the odds of an emergency are rare, but I do know there was at least one DCL cruise in the last year where I saw a video where the emergency system went off and people were being told to take their lifevests and get to the lifeboats (it all worked out, but still--we've twice had to evacuate WDW hotels due to fire alarms and I can tell you my kids would have been scared as heck getting woken up by an emergency alarm with no parent there, even if it was not a "real" emergency).

We also have kids who just can't stay up much past their bedtime, even on a Disney vacation. The only option for us is for DH and I take turns "babysitting" nights while the other goes out for a drink or activity on their own. It isn't ideal, but we have time together when the kids are in the clubs during the day, and we don't need to be together every evening; we just look at the navigator ahead of time so we know if there is an evening show or activity one of us would really like to do and try to keep it about 50-50 over the course of the cruise.

 

[Marc D]

I would leave my very responsible, Platinum CC member, “knows the ships layout by hearth” son alone in the stateroom for up to an hour. He did great when we allowed him to check-out of the clubs beginning at 8yo. However, I wouldn’t let him in charge of a younger sibling for any period of time, especially not for me to go have a drink or see a show.

Where I’m from, teens have to be 12 to take care of children and there are good reasons behind such a rule.

 

[T & R]

"you're breathing on me" fights

We have those and the "he's touching me" fights.

 

[tvguy]

To me, age isn't the determining factor. Maturity and responsibility are.

 

[DLgal]

Nope. My mind always goes to worst case scenario. On a cruise ship, that would be a fire onboard. What if that happened and we couldn't get back to our cabin? Would our kids know what to do? Would they be able to handle that? So, no, at 9 and 6, absolutely no way would I leave them in a cabin and then go to the other side of the ship on a different floor to have a drink. If something happened. I could never forgive myself.

It's the same metric I used when deciding whether to leave my kids home alone. They are both autistic, but higher functioning, but I needed to ensure they knew how to handle certain situations (stranger at the door, fire, medical emergency) before I felt comfortable leaving them alone even for 30 minutes while I went for a run in the neighborhood. If you wouldn't do it at home, don't do it on vacation.

 

[Mommb]

I agree that it depends on the maturity levels of the kids whether they would be OK on their own, and even more so whether they would be OK together. Personally, I left my 10 year old by himself for brief periods during the day, but not with his 6 year old sister. At night when the kids were that young, my husband and I went to the lounges after dinner while they were in the kids' club, but not after we had picked them up. I don't know if the Oceaneer's Club still sets up mats at night for kids who look like they're about to fall asleep, but it's worth asking.

Just a note: the Wave Phones and texting within the DCL app are not a completely reliable way for kids to reach you quickly. They might work beautifully, but all 4 members of my family complained at various times on our our recent Magic cruise that we weren't getting notification of messages sent to us, or that we were unable to send messages.