Becka's Journal

[becka]

Journal

I don't really know how I want to handle this journal. I don't really feel like putting what I eat down here because I keep a really good written food journal already. I guess for now I will just start with "my story".

It seems like I have always been a little bigger since I hit puberty. I was a relativelynormal weight as a child but I developed early and it seems like overnight I went from
wearing girls sizes to a 10/12. I hit a size 14 by junior high and by high school I was into a size 16-18. I hated being overweight but I never really did a lot about it and honestly I did not have a good support group for me at that time. I was in an Army family
and we were constantly moving (I went to 4 high schools in 4 years). It was very hard onme to keep moving around and losing friends. Every time I would move I would take to eating
after school because I had nothing else to do and I was depressed. It was just pure emotional eating because I missed my old friends and I was not feeling too sure about my
new school. You can see it in my school pictures because every year I would be up another 10-15 pounds.

In college I managed to briefly wear a size 14 again (after a bout with mono) but by the time I graduated and got married I was up to a size 18. After getting married it seemed to all go uphill from there. I passed by size 20 and 22 and ended up in 24's and they were starting to get tight. I was mortified. I already hated shopping in the plus sizes but it looked like I was outgrowing even stores like Lane Bryant. I didn't have a clue where I
was going to find clothes and I really did NOT want to buy clothes bigger than I was already in. DH and I had hopes of starting a family in about a year and a half to two years
and I knew that I wanted to be healthier when I did get pregnant. So I finally decided to do something about it.

I lost some weight in the spring of 2001 just by trying to watch what I was eating but in early June 2001 I decided to try Weight Watchers. I stayed with the plan (and was successful) until I was down to 232.5. I then became pregnant with DS unexpectedly and I had to go off WW. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy because of pre-eclampsia and right before I delivered I was back up to my high weight of 271. At 6 weeks post-partum I was at about 239 which was only about 7 pounds up from when I got pregnant. UnfortunatelyI did not get right back on WW (like I had promised myself when I got pregnant) and I gained quite a bit of weight over the next few months.

I started my current weight loss journey back on 3/31/03 at a starting weight of 269 pounds. That was only 2 pounds shy of my all time high back in January 2001. I knew I had been
gaining weight back but I had avoided the scale and I was really disgusted with the number I saw when I finally did get around the weighing myself. I was successful with WW and the
WISH group in the summer of 2001 so I decided to try it again. I had a few rough weeks at first but I am starting to feel successful again and I love that feeling. I am now almost one month back into my program and I am down 12.5 pounds to 256.5. I still have a LONG way to go but I really believe that I can do it this time.

My ulitmate goal is to wear a size 10/12 and I think that is realistic. I would like to at least get into size 12s and see where I want to go from there. I don't have an exact number
on the scale that I am looking for but I imagine it will be around 145-150 to get into those size 12s. I mostly just want to feel comfortable and to be able to walk into pretty much
any store and know that they will have my size and that I can find something that fits well.

So there is "my story" in a nutshell. I don't really have any exact plans for this journal but feel free to comment on anything. I will just post periodic updates and success/failure stories over the coming days, weeks and months.

 

[ohMom]

becka - i don't know how tall you are (I'm 5'4") and if you're close to me you'll definately by a 10 at 145-50. More likely in 12s around 160-165. just FYI

I'm so proud of you for sharing your story, i'm sure it's hard. Your determination is very obvious in your postings and in your attitude. This time you WILL do it, because we are doing it together!

To have lost 12.5 lbs in one month is awesome! just think where you'll be in just one more month? then two??

Adding exercise into your routine will most likely take the weight off quicker with your new zippy metabolism! Did you realize that the more muscle you have increases your metabolism even when you're just sitting? Not that you do alot of that with DS )

BTW, the choc. amaretto cheesecake was pretty good. You should try it! I froze a few slices and i'll let you know how it freezes, though I think my Dad was eating a slice out of the freezer this weekend and i didn't hear him complain. You can get a 4" (maybe it's even 5") springform pan and bake 1/2 cheesecake recipe in it! I know you mentioned you were the only one who liked cheesecake. I think "treating" ourselves to WW friendly desserts, snacks, will help me stay on OP by not feeling deprived! You deserve it!

 

[becka]

Originally posted by ohMom
becka - i don't know how tall you are (I'm 5'4") and if you're close to me you'll definately by a 10 at 145-50. More likely in 12s around 160-165. just FYI

Well that is good news. I am just a tad bit short of 5'4" so to think that I could be in 12s by 160 is great!!! It has been so long since I was that size that I honestly can't remember what my weight was...isn't that sad?

Well I started my WATP program last night and it went pretty well. The yoga is a whole different story! I hope that I can still with the exercise. It has been the hardest part for me this time around because several of the exercise activities I have done in the past are not really easy now that we have DS.

 

[becka]

I really have not had a clue what to do with this journal thing. I know some of you post here everyday but I can never think of anything really to say.

As of this morning my scale shows me down 21.5 pounds at 247.5. It is nice to be below 250 again and I am proud that I have been able to lose almost as much weight as Nathan weighs (22 lbs). I have struggled on and off this time around but in the long run I am succeeding and that is a very good thing. I am starting to notice some difference in the way I look but not very much. People who know me really well have noticed a change but the average person will not notice for quite some time. It is nice to get the occassional compliment however.

I am visiting my family for the 4th of July and I would like to be down 30 pounds by that time. I think it will be difficult but not entirely unreasonable. I am just going to need to really work hard to stay on program. I saw some really cute patriotic Mickey denim shorts overalls at K-mart that I thought about purchasing. I am unsure if I want to spend money on an outfit that I have no intention of wearing for more than just this summer. I thought about going over at lunch and seeing what size I could wear now but that is a little tight and seeing if I could work towards fitting into it better by the 4th? I just don't know yet...I hate to buy new clothes (even if they are smaller) if I know they won't fit in a few months.

 

[becka]

Well blah! I knew I had not been making much progress lately but I just read my last journal entry back in MAY and I was at 247.5. This week I weighed-in at 246.5...one measly pound in about a month and a half.

I really need to get back on program!!!! I journaled and counted points today and I even got in a 1-mile WATP and did 10 sit-ups so I am working up slowly again.

 

[honeymo78]

Becka - I just read your story and boy can I relate, except for the baby thing. Only cats here. When I look at pictures before about 5th grade I looked pretty normal - heck there's a pic of me at 6 or 7 and I'm down right bony. I used to wear girls plus sizes at jr high age and was an 18/20 in high school. In college I got down to a 12/14 for about 6-9months. I actually borrowed a friends pair of size 10 gap jeans and squeezed my butt into them for a date. I think my lowest around then was 160s or low 170s. I then met my fiance and he loves food so we ate a lot of takeout and back came the weight and back to a size 16. I moved away for my first year of law school and went back to a 14. Two years ago we moved in together and I've been gaining weight ever since (plus I had some emotional problems last year and quit the gym and put on weight again). So here I am barely fitting into a 16 at Lane Bryant and bying 18's at Old Navy. I can't stand it. There are clothes in my closet that I wore only 1-2 years ago that I can't even squeeze into. I had to buy new summer clothes b/c the 14/16 from last summer don't fit. In mid/late June I decided I need to do something. I recently graduated from law school so this is a good time as any. I wish I could be healthier and thinner for WDW in Aug but any difference will be great. Right now I'm at 224 - down 5lbs in 2 weeks. That's encouraging for me but it's hard to stay motivated when I'm so used to not exercising and eating whatever I want. I'd really like to get back to the 170's and wear a 12/14 comfortably not squeezing in as usual. I'm 5'4 too.

Don't take this the wrong way but I'm glad to know there are other people like me out there who are struggling with their weight and have seen the lower sizes and then somehow went right back up.

I hope I didn't bore you with my story. Best of luck with sticking to your plan. I hope we can help each other out. I have a journal on here too and just generally write what I did by means of exercise for the day.

Have a great night.

 

[becka]

honeymo78 - Sorry I didn't get back to you. I just never really check out my journal until I am ready to post again which is not too often.

Well today is August 4th and I am proud to announce that I appear to be back on track. I have been doing so much better staying OP and I am feeling more positive and seeing the results.

This morning I weighed-in at 237.5. This puts me down a total of 31.5 pounds. This is the most I have lost at one time and gets me over that dreaded plateau. I seem to be able to lose around 25 and never get passed it - but not this time!!! It also puts me within 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight loss!!! I have been so mad at myself for putting so much weight back on after having DS and having to lose all that weight again. To start making "real" progress again will feel great!!!

I would love to be in the 220's by my birthday on September 3rd. I have not seen those numbers in quite some time. I just have to take it one day at a time, even one meal at a time and try to stay positive!

 

[becka]

Well it has been almost 3 weeks since my last posting and I am proud to say that I have been doing a very good job. I am staying OP and I have started exercising. My goal was to just get in some exercise 3x/week. Well I exercised Tues, Wed and Thurs this week so any exercise I get over the weekend is gravy.

I weighed-in (not officially) this morning at 231.5 - 232. The scale jumped back and forth. Either way I would be happy if I can maintain that over the weekend although it would be great to lose another 1/2 pound or so by Monday. This weight puts me below my pre-pregnancy weight and at the lowest weight I have been since probably 1998. I want to hit 229 and get my 40 lb. clippie by September 3rd. Based on this mornings' weigh-in that will mean a 2.5 - 3 pounds loss in about 12 days.

I am feeling very positive and I hope that I can continue for a long while with this much motivation and energy.

Onward and downward for me!!!!

 

[MsDisney]

Wow, Becka! I just read your journal and it's amazing to read someone's first entry and then skip to the current day! You are really doing great!!! Keep up the great work!!!

You must feel very excited and proud of yourself to have lost so much already!!!


Karen

 

[lulu201]

Becka, your story has done wonders for me today. Your stick-to-it-iveness gives me confidence that I can stay in the game for the long haul, too. Thanks for sharing your story and for letting me post! Good luck with your goal--I can't wait to see your signature with your well-deserved 40 pound clippie!