Bunny & Oppa / 1st Timer plans a Disneymoon but cancels SBP Escape wedding pkg *06/11

[LittleKittyMarie]

Aww, I love your KFC proposal! Feels very genuine! And your ring looks beautiful!

Also, I love your suggestion about the photojournalist. That is amazing advice and I love, love your engagement photos. Very real, but with the professional touch.

 

[MrsSpratt]

I'm grateful that you let me know. I haven't had too many replies, so I was starting to wonder if it was worth my while.

I'm also kind of wondering whether this should or shouldn't be in this section of the forums. I was planning a Disney wedding but canceled it, but we are planning the Disneymoon...

I normally just lurk over here (already married, no vow renewal in the works...) but your journal is so different! (I have never seen the dreaded WIC referred to on these boards before!) So please, carry on! You have an audience for sure!

 

[Bewitch324]

I just found your planning journal and I am loving your story so far! I think you did great with your dress, especially if you end up reselling it later! It looks great on you!

I'm surprised that shop owner was so inflexible...how frustrating!

Can't wait to hear more of your story as the saga continues...

Brooke

 

[ariel_]

Joining in! Loving all your budget tips - keep it coming!

Also LOVE the blooper pic - made me smile!

 

[Disneymoon2013]

I got crazy busy and behind! More posts coming soon, I promise!

 

[Kaylars]

Joining in. Love your story and plans

 

[gelandnick]

Wow! You are a gifted storyteller and I love reading your posts!

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Wedding Planning Drama Llama (aka Things Every Bride Should Be Aware Of)

And now we arrive at the section I've kept postponing... the wedding planning drama llama arrives on the scene! When we started wedding planning, I felt fairly confident. I had planned events before; in fact, I helped plan a couple massive community events in San Francisco as part of a 10-person team. I thought wedding planning would be fairly straightforward. Boy was I wrong!

Everyone says a wedding is supposed to be all about the bride and groom. They especially emphasize the bride. "It's her day to shine," they say. I'd say it feels less like becoming a princess for a day and more like becoming a politican for months during the wedding planning process (or a couple of years in our case). Suddenly relatives and in-laws are all lobbying for various things, and because they're our constituents so to speak -- the folks who will be part of our lives forevermore -- it's tough to turn down their requests. (Because my mother and MOH are both located in different ends of the country, I am mainly on my own planning this.)

Our wedding planning woes centered primarily on three interrelated issues: the guest list, the location, and finances.

Remember I explained how my parents pulled themselves out of poverty and into the middle class? Because of our circumstances, my stepbrother and I were on our own insofar as college goes (I got a full tuition waiver/merit-based scholarship; he went into tattooing), so naturally it also makes sense that my folks had not set aside a wedding fund (nor do I think they should have had to). Mama told me she could provide about $2,000 for the wedding, which ended up not including the cost of the dress, so we'll say it was more like $2,700. I felt very comfortable with this figure. Because I am "el cheapo grande," I feel that a family-centered event really shouldn't cost more than $3,000 at the absolute max. (I understand and respect that my view is not shared by many others.)

With this figure in the back of my mind, I set out looking for a location. It turns out that an affordable location is not easy to find in our half of Connecticut (without turning to the local VFW).Every place we found charged between $5,000 to $10,000 for nothing more than the space and bare tables and chairs. Their price didn't even include the linens. I spent hours searching using every means available -- the Internet, Yellow Pages, our network, and so on. The rustic barns I had loved so much would cost us at least $7,000 or more.

First Location (and the Guest List Woes Begin... as well as other drama)

Our first solution, as of October 2011: a local park with a lakeside pavilion. This was an ideal choice; it's my mama's favorite park and the place of several happy childhood memories for me. They have a gazebo and a separate archway area that can be used for weddings, and it cost a mere $200 for a full day's use (closes at sunset). At first our only concern was the possiblity of inclement weather, but we soon realized that the pavilion would not be large enough for our guests because it only accomodated 80 people.

At the beginning of the planning process, Oppa said that he only wanted to invite his immediate family and relatives (aunts, uncles, & cousins). MIL agreed, but when it came time to choose the location, she said, "What about so-and-so? And so-and-so?" She was referring to her cousins and their kids, and so on. (Oppa comes from an expansive Italian family.) This became an issue of contention between them and drastically affected the budget and location. As any planner can attest, the more guests you have, the higher the overall cost becomes; you need a space large enough for all the people, and you need more food and drinks, plus additional invitations and so on. It's a total domino effect. (To offset the cost, MIL had offered to cover the cost of food, which was very generous.) With our original guest list, the park would have worked, but it had swelled from 80 to 100.

Meanwhile, when we told SIL, then 22, that we'd like her to be a bridesmaid, she burst into tears and said she didn't want to walk in front of a bunch of people. Oppa and I were okay with her decision, but her mom and some other in-laws were not. That would continue to hover as an issue for a long time to come (and could still possibly be an issue to this day for all I know).

Further dilemmas... Whenever we brought up wedding planning around the in-laws, everyone became vague and dropped the subject. After several months of this, I asked Mama for advice, and she said that they probably thought it was too soon for marriage since we had such a short engagement. (In hindsight, I would say she was dead on, because the atmosphere has totally changed.)

Location Two: A Backyard Wedding

Oppa and I reasoned that surely a backyard wedding would be budget-friendly. When I looked into tent rentals however, I was astounded to learn that it would cost a minimum of $3,000. Oppa scoffed, "For that much, we should just buy our own tent and then rent it out to other people. It would pay for itself in no time." We had a good laugh about that but admitted we didn't want that hassle. Plus we would still have to provide all of the linens, silverware, etc. (I recently learned from a new coworker that you can snag good deals on tent rentals by inquiring with local Lion Clubs or veterans groups. One of her friends rented some tents from them, plus the chairs, for dirt cheap. Who knew?)

Location Three: An In-Law Makes a Generous Offer That is Too Good to Be True

Learning about our location dilemmas, an in-law (IL) made us a generous offer in December 2011: She offered to host the wedding herself at her house and to cover the cost of the tent rental. We were floored and incredibly grateful. This deal seemed too good to be true -- and it turned out that it was. Just a month later, we learned that she had called up his godmother and demanded she "pay up" to help cover the cost, and she had requested my mother's information so that she could bill her a portion as well.

When we met at her house to discuss wedding plans, it turned into an epic disaster. I will now air a whole load of dirty laundry:

My first warning signs came when I sent the IL my Pinterest link and never received any feedback. I thought maybe she was not computer savvy. So, I started off by sitting down at her computer with her and started showing her the pictures and concepts from Pinterest. She stared and said nothing the entire time, not a single word or even "mmhmm". I pressed forward in the awkward silence. Afterward, she told me several things matter-of-factly:

• the afternoon would fly by in seconds
• I was taking on too much
• my bridesmaids would not follow through on their assigned parts/roles
• I care about too many details
• I should not allow my small cousin to be involved as a flower girl because it will detract from me
• We should be ashamed for being "secretive" about the guest list
• We should include anyone MIL wants because it's supposed to be about family

After her spiel ended, I started to cry. It was stressful enough planning a wedding without so much negative input. She then yelled at me for crying and said I should be ashamed because I had asked for her opinions. I was particularly wounded that she would speak so poorly of my bridesmaids without even knowing them or their jobs or capabilities. For example, one is a graphic designer and was going to help with my invitation. Surely she could easily follow through on this. This IL knows nothing about my life and has never taken the time to learn anything about me aside from my name. You DISers reading this know more about me than this woman. Perhaps that was the first thing I should have considered before accepting her too-good-to-be-true offer. Also, she claimed we were "secretive" about the guest list with MIL, but MIL had seen the guest list back in October.

Because she is an in-law, I spoke nothing of my feelings to her. I sobered up and followed her as she showed her plans for her backyard and how she wanted the wedding to proceed. Imagine our surprise when she announced that she had even looked into being a justice of the peace to wed us!

When we left there and were alone together, Oppa said he was furious with the IL. I savagely told him, "I will personally saw off one of my legs before I would get married at that woman's house." We were on the same page, and shortly thereafter, we informed her that we had to change plans. We did this delicately and under some false pretenses, I'm afraid. We didn't want anymore drama.

Location Four: Not What I Had Envisioned

Out of anger and wanting a quick way out of this wedding planning nightmare, Oppa and I decided that we should just go to the courthouse. We could invite the family, and they could go if they wanted. We decided this the same night we came back from the IL. It haunted me for a couple of days, particularly because I had already purchased the dress. Then I imagined myself in my fancy long gown in the local courthouse... and I felt stupid. Even imagining it made me feel embarrassed. Why should I throw away my wedding, my one-day event for my entire life (ideally), because of this IL? Because of anger? I went back to Oppa, and I took this option off of the table.

Location Five: Another Park, With No Reception

It was mid January 2012, just several days after the courthouse idea, when we focused again on a different local park we had previously considered but bypassed. This one, however, was outdoors and down a steep hill. I knew this would not be practical or ideal for heels or fancy dresses, but I was ready to cope with it. Additionally, we wouldn't be able to host a reception in the space, nor would we provide chairs. People would have to stand through the ceremony.

We settled on this (but didn't put down a deposit for the day yet), and I finally made my bridal invites. I had already inquired by phone, but I wanted to send something official. In early February 2012, I made pop-open scrapbook boxes that included a 3D cake inside. The cake topper was two rabbits, presumably kissing. I forgot to take pictures! I had two MOHs originally, and one of them posted this picture:

It looks like either the bride or groom bunny fell off the top in transit! Whoops!

Shortly after I sent them, I had lunch with my great aunt and great grandmother, who were both disappointed to hear about the location we chose. They said it was inpractical and would be cold in October. They also pointed out that there was no back-up plan in case it rained. I could do nothing but sadly agree. My great aunt told me that a wedding didn't have to be so difficult. She said to just pick a church and have the reception downstairs in the reception hall afterward. Just have cake and coffee. She offered her own (Catholic) church as a possibility, but I politely declined. I had already resigned myself.

Location Six: Joining a Local Baptist Church
As summer approached, I reconsidered the inconvenient park solution. I started looking at local churches, searching for one I could join. I had been meaning to start going to church again for quite some time. College kept me too busy, and my attendance in high school was inconsistent. After some research, I settled on a Baptist church just five minutes from our apartment.

When I went, I was thrilled with the small size of the congregation and the pastor's preaching style. Unfortunately, just a few weeks into my attendance, I discovered the church was asunder. One group, consisting of about a quarter of the church, wanted to dismiss the pastor. The congregation had become bitterly divided, and I had unknowingly walked into the midst of this battle. It took several weeks for me to notice because the pastor made no sign of this in the sermons.

Just when I thought I had found not only a church to join but also a location for our wedding ceremony, the pastor resigned. I had attended for about a month and a half. It had become a most unpleasant situation. When he left, I stopped going too, as did a significant portion of the congregation from what I understand.

A Cousin's Wedding Confirms Our Oddness
In the middle of June 2012, we went to Oppa's second cousin's wedding. It was a fancy to-do, and I can comfortably estimate that the wedding cost at least $20,000. From my previous research, I knew the location alone was $10,000. The couple had included endless trays of appetizers, as well as a fancy dinner, plus an open, endless bar from 4 p.m. to midnight. The vineyard location was pretty, and the food was, for the most part, quite scrumptious, but we were really bored. The ceremony had been at a massive Catholic church, and it was beautiful and really engaging. But the reception was a different story for us. When the dancing began around 7 p.m., we sat together talking. Oppa's relatives became increasingly drunk around us, which made us both slightly uncomfortable. Then MIL and FIL came and sat next to us. "Aren't you going to dance?" MIL said. "Nope!" we both said. After talking a bit more, MIL leaned in and said we could get going if we wanted to. Oppa practically hopped out of his seat. "Well, we'll see ya!" he said. I was laughing. And we were out of there.

Location Seven: WALT DISNEY WORLD
A short time later, I was still iffy on the park we had chosen and at a loss overall. I had sent the bridesmaids requests, but I had not reserved the space at the park. I kept postponing it. I was in the middle of researching WDW for our honeymoon, and I had discovered this site and had become a lurker. Planning a trip to WDW was far more exciting than grappling with wedding planning. Late June, around the 22nd, I was reading "The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World" when I stumbled across a section about the escape wedding package. It was so much cheaper than I had ever imagined, and I went to the WDW Fairytale weddings site to confirm. Oppa and I discussed this together. I've always wanted to go to WDW, and we would be going for the honeymoon, but imagine the joy of getting married there!

There were so many added benefits: It would limit our guest list to the core family members whom we interact with regularly and will be seeing more and more of once we have kids. We could limit the list to just parents, siblings, and grandparents. Since the escape package didn't include a reception, we didn't have to deal with planning a party or including dancing; we could just make a dinner reservation at one of the hotel restaurants, preferably the California Grill at the Contemporary Resort.

It would be short, sweet, memorable, and fun. It stretched our budget by about $2,000, but we could easily save that on our own to offset the cost.

We knew we could only do this if we got everyone's buy-in -- if they would be willing to cover their travel costs to WDW, so the very next day, on the 23rd, we told Oppa's parents. FIL seemed particularly happy with this choice. We called the others, and everyone consented... So a WDW wedding it would be! (For now... dun dun dun...)

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Joining in... I feel like I'm reading a book, so amazing

Wow! You are a gifted storyteller and I love reading your posts!

These are both big compliments. Thank you both so much!

Aww, I love your KFC proposal! Feels very genuine! And your ring looks beautiful!

Also, I love your suggestion about the photojournalist. That is amazing advice and I love, love your engagement photos. Very real, but with the professional touch.

I normally just lurk over here (already married, no vow renewal in the works...) but your journal is so different! (I have never seen the dreaded WIC referred to on these boards before!) So please, carry on! You have an audience for sure!

I had to look up WIC; I didn't know that acronym existed. The consumer culture of America troubles me deeply for many reasons, so I find myself studying more and more about it. I'm also really curious about my own expectations and sense of what a wedding "should" be and how that has been socially defined. I haven't seen others here refer to the WIC either, and my biggest concern was possibly offending others here because I don't want anyone to feel that I'm judging their individual actions. It's not my place to judge others; it is my place to choose my own values and apply them in my own life.

I just found your planning journal and I am loving your story so far! I think you did great with your dress, especially if you end up reselling it later! It looks great on you!

I'm surprised that shop owner was so inflexible...how frustrating!

Can't wait to hear more of your story as the saga continues...

Brooke

It is quite the saga! Thank you so much for joining in.

Joining in! Loving all your budget tips - keep it coming!

Also LOVE the blooper pic - made me smile!

Yay! I have more budget tips to come, too! Stay tuned!

Joining in. Love your story and plans

Yay!

 

[gelandnick]

Your wedding location search makes me feel sane! For the past 9 months, we have been ping ponging back and forth on different locations until we finally decided on DL.

Also, don't you wish weddings came without drama? I totally understand why some women go into "Bridezilla" mode... I'm convinced that it is induced by crazy family members pestering the bride. Haha!

Can't wait to read more!

 

[Kaylars]

weeww you had to deal with a lot so far, I hope it only gets better from here on out.

 

[MrsSpratt]

"I had to look up WIC; I didn't know that acronym existed. The consumer culture of America troubles me deeply for many reasons, so I find myself studying more and more about it. I'm also really curious about my own expectations and sense of what a wedding "should" be and how that has been socially defined. I haven't seen others here refer to the WIC either, and my biggest concern was possibly offending others here because I don't want anyone to feel that I'm judging their individual actions. It's not my place to judge others; it is my place to choose my own values and apply them in my own life."

I can totally understand how you might be concerned about being perceived as offensive, but I sincerely think that you are walking the talk when it comes to "choos(ing) your own values and apply(ing) them in your own life." This shines through in your writing, and you are talking about YOUR experience without being preachy or judging others. (Except for hateful MILs, and in that case, judge away!)

I am really enjoying reading your journal of discovery of YOUR definition of a wedding!

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Your wedding location search makes me feel sane! For the past 9 months, we have been ping ponging back and forth on different locations until we finally decided on DL.

Also, don't you wish weddings came without drama? I totally understand why some women go into "Bridezilla" mode... I'm convinced that it is induced by crazy family members pestering the bride. Haha!

Can't wait to read more!

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one! I wish I had realized that it would be the hardest part of the entire process and had been better prepared for it...

I've also come to understand the Bridezillas out there!

weeww you had to deal with a lot so far, I hope it only gets better from here on out.

I think it's worked out for the best.

I can totally understand how you might be concerned about being perceived as offensive, but I sincerely think that you are walking the talk when it comes to "choos(ing) your own values and apply(ing) them in your own life." This shines through in your writing, and you are talking about YOUR experience without being preachy or judging others. (Except for hateful MILs, and in that case, judge away!)

I am really enjoying reading your journal of discovery of YOUR definition of a wedding!

Thank you kindly! For the record, my MIL is absolutely amazing! She's a lot of fun to be around, and we have fairly similar personalities. It's just a couple of the other in-laws that I have a hard time with. MIL's only drawback is that she holds back her own thoughts/feelings all the time out of concern for others, so I think sometimes it storms or leaks out after being suppressed for so long.

 

[Disneymoon2013]

WDW's Escape Wedding Package: Easy Pickin's

Once we settled on the Escape Wedding Package, it was really easy making selections.

After looking through all the options, I liked Sea Breeze Point best, second to the chapel (but that would have been another $1,000 extra). Oppa didn't have much of a preference. The Boardwalk area seems to have such a carnival feel, and I thought it would be perfect for photographs afterward. (I love, love, love amusement parks and local carnivals, and all the photos I see of the Boardwalk give me that same vibe.)

I still hoped to have the pink roses and green hydrangeas, and when I saw this photo from DISer pixie08,I saved it because it was perfect:

But of the Escape package options, I would have settled for this one but given it to my now one bridesmaid (SIL):

And as for the cake... why not this? It would match the theme and the flowers.

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[LittleKittyMarie]

Hmm, I missed your previous post, but I am all caught up now!

What an unbelievable story of your wedding planning woes. I can't believe the ordeal it's been for you. The cost of venues really is outrageous, considering how little they provide for you. How they get away with charging that much for a room - when really at the end of the day it's the people and the events that are taking place that should get the prority - is truly astounding. And sorry to hear about all the different family drama. It really is surprising to find out how certain people react when a wedding comes around.

And you've left us on quite the cliffhanger with the Disney wedding! It's like quite a beautiful escape wedding plan, what will happen!

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Hmm, I missed your previous post, but I am all caught up now!

What an unbelievable story of your wedding planning woes. I can't believe the ordeal it's been for you. The cost of venues really is outrageous, considering how little they provide for you. How they get away with charging that much for a room - when really at the end of the day it's the people and the events that are taking place that should get the prority - is truly astounding. And sorry to hear about all the different family drama. It really is surprising to find out how certain people react when a wedding comes around.

And you've left us on quite the cliffhanger with the Disney wedding! It's like quite a beautiful escape wedding plan, what will happen!

I was super behind on yours! I just read through like 8 posts haha
I think the price is so exorbitant because of the state we live in (CT). A lot of things here are unreasonably high compared with other areas of the country.

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Designing Our Invitations (And Etsy Scams to Watch Out For)

In anticipation of the big day and wanting to get ahead of the game, I started working on our wedding invitations. I looked around the Web for inspiration.

A key phrase came from this gal's invitation: "in the spirit of the magic that brought us together"

image source: http://shinzchang.blogspot.com/2011_07_01_archive.html

Since we had dwindled our guest list from 108 to 17 people, I thought we should have a special invitation for those invited, as well as a Disney-themed wedding announcement to send to everyone else.

For the announcement, I found this lovely design by SomethingPrintable on Etsy:

and I had planned on pairing it with this return address stamp design, but I was deterred by how often the seller received negative & neutral feedback on Etsy:

So instead I planned on getting a stamp via LetterGirl on Etsy. I'm really impressed with her calligraphy work, and I really liked reading about her life story on her blog. It feels good to know I'm supporting someone's passion in life firsthand. I think it takes a lot of guts to quit your day job and follow your dreams.

just an example of one of her designs... we had not settled on a specific one.

For the invitation, I found someone on Etsy profiting off of this design:

Of course, I recognized that the seller was using Disney's artwork, and I suspected it was easy to find online. Sure enough, a quick Google image search revealed that Disney had posted this in large sizes for desktop wallpaper, and other sites had duplicated the artwork.

Did you know you can use Google Image Search to find the source of any picture or similar pictures? They have a basic guide video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t99BfDnBZcI You can click and drag an image from one window (or tab) to another, which is the quickest approach.

Currently, the wallpaper design can be found here: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/walt-di...e/walt-disney-wallpapers-cinderella-wallpaper

I consider this to be a case of copyright infringement because the seller is profiting off of someone else's artwork (Disney), but I guess Disney doesn't care or else they'd be pressuring Etsy, right? It doesn't take much effort to throw words over the artwork. If it's something you're interested in and haven't done before, there are loads of free photo editing services online, including at Photobucket.

Did you know lots of Etsy sellers buy their items directly from China via aliexpress.com and even copy the stock photography from aliexpress? They mark up the items on Etsy. In case you're ever curious, try out that Google Image Search. I digress.

I decided to use the wallpaper image as a backdrop for our personal invitation. (I changed our names for DISboards; the mickey logo was over an "i".)

(Photobucket didn't want to upload it well; it kept changing the colors on me, and I finally got away with a slightly grainy version here. In Photoshop, it's crisp.)

In 5x7 form, we could print these up two-per-page on our own cardstock for $0.49 at Staples, or we could just print them from our color printer. (Without your own cardstock, Staples charges you $1.49 per color copy on their cardstock...)

We hadn't even booked the wedding yet through Disney, and already I had the invitations done! So how did everything go awry? It's not too far off now... but before that.. favors!

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Wedding Favors With a Disney Twist

Everyone's heard it at one point or another in their childhood. They receive a gift. Let's say it's a hand-crocheted pair of socks from dear Aunt Mildred. And their mom gives them the look and says, "What do you saaaaaay?" And they grudgingly respond: "Thank you Aunt Mildred," before ripping open a different present or shuffling away as fast as possible.

I know I'll sound like an ungrateful little grown-up snot-rag for saying this, but I still have that little kid inside me thinking "urggh, not this! What am I going to do with this?" And tschotskes make me feel that way most of all. They're just one more thing to find a space for and to dust regularly. (Actually, not anymore. These days I just donate them to a thrift shop, but I always feel guilty about it.)

Unfortunately, most wedding favors (except for food) seem to fall into the tschotskes category, which made hunting around for ideas a right pain in the you-know-what. I didn't want to spend our money on anything that would just end up chipped or cracked on a Goodwill shelf with a $3.99 price sticker on it. (Goodwill is seriously overpriced and ridiculous in our area!)

I kept searching for something that would be sentimental but practical, something utilitarian. I found a solution through chuckhljal's shop on Etsy. I could do wedding-themed keychains, but there was no way I would pay $35 each for something I could piece together myself. I'm just the type of person who would rather expend the time making it herself (within reason & capabilities) instead of spending a lot for someone else to do it. In this case, it would have cost me around $595 to get it through her shop, assuming I didn't haggle for a discount.

The concept was to use the bride & groom (Easter-like Mickey & Minnie), and to put a slip of paper in the vial with our names, wedding date, and a "We love you" message. Moreover, we would make the groom & bride separate for the couples, so that when they put their keychains together, their "couple" would show. Oppa still thought this fell in the tschotske category, but I thought most folks would keep them because they were useful, personalized, and unique (the lampwork beads are pieces of art since they're handmade).

If I wanted to do this in a more affordable way, I had to find the suppliers. Everyone has a supplier. In this case, the mickey mouse head keyring comes from China; it's easily found on Aliexpress or purchased in smaller quantities from supply sellers on Etsy. The lampwork beads are done by Kathleen Urato (DesignsbyKUrato) on Etsy, and whole strands consisting of five mickey or minnie bodies only cost $28. The vials can be purchased at Michaels, 4(? I forget) for $4 (or less during sales -- I snagged them all at half off). And the beads can be found wherever. I used to do beadwork in high school, so I already have pliers and other tools.

I had priced it all out at about $120 total for all... a savings of $475! I point this out not to discredit the crafter on Etsy. She was clever to come up with the arrangements, and clearly her finished products are well loved by many, many people. (She's had more than 1,900 sales.) But the cost for such a large quantity would have been prohibitive, which made a DIY approach more practical in my case.

With the favors conceptualized (but only the vials purchased!), I could move forward in the planning process.

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Booking Our Disney Resort & Resources That Helped Me

As you may recall, Oppa left all honeymoon (& most wedding planning) totally up to me:

Oppa has been to WDW 5-6 times. A couple years ago, his dad took the whole family on a comando-style, 10-day trip that included all the parks, parasailing, jet skiing, the racecar experience, horseback riding, carriage rides, etc. etc. etc. They also resort-hopped between five different hotels. It was a crazy-ton amount of stuff!! I think the trip left Oppa a little bit burnt out on WDW, but he told me to plan our honeymoon exactly how I'd like it. <3

Oppa often says, "I give you total carte blanche." He does this not so much out of love but rather out of self-interest! In fact, he's quite similar to my great-grandfather: My great-grandmother often brags to me about how she managed all the household finances after she got married in the 1930s. She describes her little ledger book and how she always made her payments on time and never had any bill collectors come to her door. She had envelopes labelled for each bill, and she placed cash in them and adjusted when necessary. Every time she recounts this deed (which is quite often!), she scowls and says Pop left her in charge. "It made life easier for him" she always says, "because he didn't have to bother with all that! I had to budget the money for the phone, the rent, the bills..." At this point, she always leans in, winks, and says that because she controlled the budget, she could also slip some money out and buy new clothes, which she would promptly place in the back of the closet. When she wore one of these new outfits and he said, "where did that come from?!" she said, "This old thing? I've had it for a while" -- and she had! So, you see, their arrangement benefited them both, and I think the same could be said for Oppa and me. He is more laid-back, and I tend to be more of a Type A personality. (I also manage the finances, just like my great-grandmother had, but we don't hide any purchases!)

Without any WDW experience, I turned to books and picked up "The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World" at our local library. It seemed like a good starting point, and the matching TouringPlans site had a lot of positive feedback around the Web.

After perusing pictures of all the (beautiful!) resorts on the WDW site, too, I sat back and thought about what the deciding factor should be. Should we focus on amenities? Theming? Location? Noise/clientele? Cost? I decided that for once cost should be a back-burner issue since this was our honeymoon, and I do love me a nice hotel! I love the blank slate that hotel rooms offer: the minimalist amount of furniture & accessories is so freeing. It's also lovely coming back to a room with made-up beds and fresh towels! Of course, any Disney resort would provide that. Trying to be entirely practical, I reasoned that the location mattered most of all because we planned on spending very little time at our resort since it would be my first time to all of the theme parks. With this in mind, I honed in on the monorail resorts because they were so close to MK, which I look forward to most of all (perhaps because I enjoyed Disneyland so much on my two one-day visits as a kid). Using a chart in the guide book, I saw that Contemporary had the best travel times (Disney transportation) and that MK was in walking distance. We decided on it even though the theming seems so... boring. And even though I said I wouldn't be cost-focused, we did decide to do the cheapest room at the Contemporary (Garden wing, standard view) because we didn't want to spend a lot of money on a place we would mostly be sleeping in... haha! So much for not considering the cost, right?

My feelings toward the CR warmed up quite a bit when I found out that my great-grandmother had stayed there once before, too! We were eating lunch out at Friendlys, one of her favorites, when I asked her if she had ever gone to WDW. She went twice: once when her kids were nearly 10, and once with two adult friends. During the latter trip, she stayed at the Contemporary resort, which had just recently been built. She was head-over-heels for it; she describes the room as being a beautiful turquoise theme, and she loved that the "train" went through the middle of the building. She said she secured a discount for their hotel rooms, and it cost $25 a night instead of $30. I was so enthralled by all of this that I recorded her on my iPhone so I can show the CMs when we check in. I think it'd be cool to show them. I hoped Nana would focus on the rooms & monorail when I recorded her, but instead she emphasized the discount and claimed that the hotel clerk tried to overcharge her upon her arrival. (Oh, Nana!) I guess frugality just runs in our blood or something.

Since I had also read through most of MouseSavers.com, I decided we should book a room-only reservation and use Small World Vacations travel agency.

MouseSavers emphasizes the benefits of room-only reservations: http://www.mousesavers.com/walt-dis...sney-world-resort-hotel-discounts-codes/#wdtc

Of course, with room-only reservations, we couldn't sign up for the Disney Dining Plan, but I knew we could upgrade later if we chose to. (As it turned out, the DDP did not price out well for us. After selecting the restaurants we really wanted to visit and accounting for additional meals, I totaled it up in Excel and realized we would lose money with the DDP. We would not eat enough to make it costworthy, and several of the restaurants we wanted to visit would take more than 1 TS.)

I knew I didn't want to watch for room discounts for months, so I decided to use Small World Vacations to book our trip. They receive WDW resort discount alerts before the general public -- or at least that's what I've read.

Contacting them was painless enough; in early January (of this year), I just filled out the quote on the main page and was assigned an agent. At first it seemed a tiny bit rocky: I had requested the garden wing standard, but our agent (Marion) quoted a garden wing, garden view with a king bed. I replied and kindly said I must have filled out the form wrong and that we were on a tight budget, etc.

She quickly replied and let me know that I hadn't made an error but that the standard rooms had already been booked up. She offered some alternatives at various resorts that would be cheaper, including the Animal Kingdom Lodge. She also inquired about our wedding theming & details so she could best help us in the long run.

I gave her the information requested but mentioned that we preferred to stick with the Contemporary because of the location and because of my great-grandparents' history there, so we would settle with the slightly increased cost. Shortly after this, she replied and had somehow not only secured the garden wing standard view with a king bed, but had also secured them at a discounted rate! I don't know how she managed this bit of magic, but I wasn't going to ask questions! We booked straight away.

As far as WDW trip planning has gone, the most helpful resources have been:

disboards
easywdw.com
mousesavers - esp. the monthly e-newsletter that included a discounted link for WDW tickets through Undercover Tourist, which we already ordered and received several months ago
touringplans
allears.net for menus & restaurant reviews
this spreadsheet for planning out days & ADRs: http://www.plan-a-magical-vacation.com/disney-vacation-planning-spreadsheet.html
this break-down on the Tables in Wonderland option, which we were going to use originally for the wedding reception dinner: http://mousepad.mouseplanet.com/archive/index.php/t-126403.html

 

[Disneymoon2013]

Disney's Wedding Registry Rip-Off and a More Frugal Approach

At the urging of our Small World Vacations travel agent, I went to set up a Disney honeymoon registry, but of course I had to read the fine print! That's when I discovered this first nugget of information (my italics):

"We charge a small service fee to maintain a professional full service registry for you, your friends and family that will be deducted from the gifts you receive upon transfer. This service fee provides an ad free registry experience, wedding website and social networking tools with the highest level of security, encryption and insurance."

How small is this service fee? At the time when we looked, which was January, it was 9.65%! Imagine that. Nearly $10 of every $100 gift received going to Disney for... what exactly? Maintaining their servers? Providing the same service that other companies do at no charge? As of today, the Terms and Conditions of the registry site state the percentage is 7%. It's nice to see that it dropped in just five months, but that's still $7 of every $100 going to Disney.

When I read "a small service fee," I had assumed something around 2-3%, which would be more than enough! You shouldn't even have to spend money so that you can spend gift money on Disney experiences... But I digress.

Instead of using their service, Oppa and I turned to Amazon.com's Universal WishList Registry feature. In addition to household items in our registry, we linked to each Disney experience we had planned (restaurants, candlelight processional package, etc.), and in the comments we included the link for Disney's giftcards (not the Disney Store version!). This way we figure any relative can buy us an experience and mark it off the list. Amazon will alert us to the purchaser, so we can take pictures and offer specific thanks for the WDW experience.

The bridal shower is a ways off still (September) and of course the wedding is even farther still (November), so I will have to report back on how this works out!