via JL's insta:
Pt. 1: Hi, tonyz119
Instagram isn’t allowing me to reply to anyone on my previous post, so I have to respond to you this way.
Your question is a tricky one because it is hard to answer without speaking for others, but I am going to give it a try. Whatever my take, though, it isn’t the primary issue. The information that is already out there should be enough for everyone to decide what they are going to support, enable, and fuel moving forward. If anyone says that it isn’t, I’m not sure that what’s left will be enough anyway. Everyone in the brand community participated in something that helped elevate and enable someone who hurt others. That part has been spoken. I think we should really be more concerned with how to respond to that. Participation at this point sends a message, and I hope everyone can reflect on the message their participation will send.
Following that disclaimer, I’ll say my part. I had suspicions. First, I am a woman, and I was generally not considered unfortunate-looking at that time. It didn’t happen much, but once or twice Dustin was “bold” with his compliments and glances. It was not the behavior of a gay man. I am in no way implying he was inappropriate. What I am saying is that in those fleeting moments there was a vibe that most women would recognize as attraction. I found it weird and hoped I was just having a good hair day, but it raised a flag.
Second, I noticed Dustin seemed uncomfortable whenever the relationship was mentioned. Additionally, he started drinking at work sometimes. And on some trips, he started drinking the second we would board a plane to leave and kept it going until we got back. I grew up in an alcoholic home, so I know behavior like that often comes from deep pain.
To be continued....
Pt: 2 Third, I heard stories before and after I left (not necessarily from the current team). The community is full of fans and clients, and gossip is a currency. But I also saw things. People came and went from the company. Who is to say that some of them didn’t attempt to reach out and say, “Hey, bro! Do you need a life preserver” before they suddenly disappeared? Because, ya know, I heard stories about that too.
I didn’t know if anything I heard was true. It’s hard to be sure when no one is giving a first-hand account. I’m not even clear if it is appropriate to say anything until a victim feels they can handle it. It's a question I'll be asking a therapist. So did I hear things? Yes. Was I definitively told this was a consensual relationship? I’m not sure that I ever asked because it was implied. Do I regret not having a better handle on how to intervene? Without a doubt!
Regardless of my take, we have people right now ringing first-hand alarms on center stage. In my opinion, that is what needs attention. We all had a seat in the community. Maybe it was as an event attendee. Maybe it was as a fundraiser volunteer. Maybe the seat was on the other side of YouTube or directly in the studio. Did we see something and dismiss it as a good hair day? It’s a good question to ask, but the more important question is what are we going to do with this information we have now? It’s more than speculation at this point, and *its* seat is in our lap. My $.02.
