In light of the cancellation of the park to park, back stage bus I am thinking of a new way to move more easily between AND IN the parks. Hear me out and let me know if you are interested.
I was thinking of utilizing a "Service Donkey", attached to a cart. We all know that Disney can't prevent an animal from coming into the parks if someone claims it's a service animal. We've all seen those pug dogs in strollers dressed in their fancy clothes. They always look like they want to roll out of the carriage and make a run for it over to Casey's for a tube steak. Donkeys pulling carts (in which we are seated) back and forth to parks and resorts sounds like a service to me!
We could call this new service "Duber" which is short for Donkey Uber! (See what I Did there? No?? Are you blind!.. ) We could paint the carts and have them look like this:
We could even put cup holders for the refillable mugs and some fancy cut outs to hold wine glasses. Just think of the advantages of using Duber in the parks during Food and Whine. No more eating on trash cans! We could have those flip down trays like they have on the airplanes! Hopefully we could just drive the donkey right up to the ordering windows at the food booths. And what about some hooks to hold all those shopping bags we find ourselves dragging around the park? We could just toss our Mickey hand pot holders and Disney t-shirts that we buy but don't need in the cart...
Another great idea is having the donkey wear the pin trading lanyard. He would look so cute and the extra length needed for a donkey neck would mean we could fit more pins on it! (that's what you call a win, win...)
The down side (and there is a down side) is that we would need that pooper scooper guy that follows the mini ponies from Cinderella's carriage to clean up after us. (The donkey, not the drunk women riding in the cart). I'm thinking that donkeys won't wear diapers but other people are telling me it 'depends'. (See what I did there...)
Now that they are removing the carpets from the rooms it would be easy to sneak a donkey in there, so storing them until needed would be very easy. We would just have to watch out for housekeeping but now that they hardly ever come around it should be easy to keep the donkey in your room. Just to be safe we should probably get the donkey a cute outfit to wear. That seems to be a requirement with service animals. They look very cute in hats... see for yourself!
This idea sounds like a winner to me so I should probably get to work on a phone app for Donkey Uber. If at the end of October you see a bunch of women hauling asp around Disney world you'll know that Duber has finally been launched.
~NM
PS. I know that Dee has access to an actual donkey so that part of the plan is covered. Note to Dee: Buy Roger the donkey a ticket on Southwest and bring him on our trip so we can test this out...