Is this a bit tacky or no?

[Binkrin]

I don't think it's tacky at all. I don't see why the honeymoon can't be considered a "gift" from family and friends?

I would rather put specifically towards the honeymoon rather than handing someone a card with a check and they end up using the money to pay for groceries or something. I would feel better knowing that I helped them enjoy their honemoon.

JMHO

 

[Lori2816]

Another vote for tacky.

 

[disneygirl725]

Well... I'm a bit torn on this one.

My bf and I are living in sin. We each lived on our own for several years before hand. We already tossed several items and kept the better one (microwave, toaster, etc). We even have a TV sitting in a closet, just because I refuse to throw it away.

We plan on getting married in about 2 yrs (waiting for the ring), I do plan on replacing dishes and other hand-me downs that I have...

Would I love the money for a honeymoon, yes. Otherwise, I'll be getting things I don't need. I didn't make much money for the first years out of school, so I learned to be frugal. My parents also buy us larger appliances for bdays and xmas (blender, kitchen aid mixer).

So in short... I don't think its right to ask for $ for a honeymoon, depending on the couple's situation, I think a gift of money to supplement the wedding/honeymoon is a great idea.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

My mom and Miss Manners have always taught me that the wedding invitation should not contain ANY mention of gifts, no registry cards, NADA.

So to me it is tacky.

The concept is not, though. I know for my niece's wedding, they have registered, but the info was only sent out on the shower invites. Then, anyone else who wants registry info has just called my sister to ask where they registered.

When I was MOH for a friend, the same thing applied. Any of our friends who were looking for registry info just called me or her mother and we let them know what she and her hubby to be needed.

Nothing surprises me anymore. We rec'd an EMAIL wedding invitation last year. They asked for an RSVP by email, as well.

 

[eyeheartgoofy]

I think it is tacky.

 

[Va-bear]

Okay, just my two cents....

As far as a gift registry, I always thought it was for the ease and convinience of the guests. If you would like to buy a gift for the bride and groom, it takes the guess work out of what they might like or need.

Now, my sister is getting married in July of 07. She and her fiance have lived together, first in an apartment and then a house, for almost three years. There simply isn't much that they need. My sister is the kind of person that appreciates gifts of senntimental value over those of monetary value. It was her intention to not to register at all, anywhere. A few of us (family and friends) tried to explain to her that some people really depend on a registry. Her response? "I don't want people to feel like they have to go out and shop and spend their money on stuff I don't really need."

About a month later, she and her fiance are headed to the travel agency to book their honeymoon. Like any reasonable person, they went with cash in hand to pay a 50% deposit on a honeymoon that they can afford to pay for. The travel agent suggested the honeymoon registry. Not something my sis had ever even heard of. Her first response was "Ewww, no thank you, we can pay for this ourselves" The travel agent offered another point of view.

It is something you can use vs. china place settings.

Nothing to ship, nothing to break, nothing to cart to the wedding.

The bride and groom don't have to know the value of each gift, just the balance due two weeks prior to the wedding. They are simply sent a small card indicating that a gift was given and by whom.

Those wishing to give a gift may do so with any form of payment.

Well, she is not completely convinced that this is something she will do. I personally think she is waiting for some feedback from people, but she recently received a wedding invitation from a friend with a honeymoon registry. She did say it gave her a different perspective.

When I read the way it was described to your sister it almost sounds OK - no dollars given, just a card saying a gift was made. (Like others mentioned you might be low on cash - or be the type to bargain hunt.) But, the idea of saying "Aunt Susie bought us a massage at GFbut Cousin Jerry only got us a Mickey t-shirt..." is the main part that makes the OP's couple EXtremely tacky!

 

[safetymom]

It's tacky.

 

[Sammie]

Ok I did so online searching and the consensus was it is tacky if this option is stated on the invitation. If not, and you know about this some other way it is not considered tacky to have the registry.

 

[LMCT88]

Just my opinion, I have gotten a few of those invitations in the past few months, I personally don't like them because it makes me feel like, well unless your giving a gift don't come. Don't get me wrong I understand that weddings cost money and I always go with gift in hand. I haven't donated to a honeymoon fund yet, not sure that I will. I did although have a nice experience at my niece's wedding. Everyone that attended (this was done by the bride and groom), on there plate was a card saying "Thank You" for sharing our special day a donation to Operation Smile has been made in your name. It said something to the effect about smiles and on there wedding day, can't remember exactly what. I thought this was a great wedding favor, as I have enough (pecans in netting). I guess times have changed since I got married. Here is another thought, wouldn't it be nice to have a "Wedding Shower" after you have been married say 10 or so years, (be nice to get all new stuff lol). Again Just my thoughts on the subject.

 

[deekaypee]

I guess you could chalk me up in the "tacky" category, although my reservations are about the whole registry/gift-giving request situation more generally. I guess I find the request marginally tackier than sending out registry information with any announcment. I'm not passing judgement on the desire to give gifts to commemorate occasions or on the convenience of the registry itself. I am uncomfortable with the notion that, increasingly, a person who is invited to (or even just informed of) a wedding is required to give a gift--any gift--and, worse, that the recipients of that gift gets to dictate the substances someone's well wishes.

So although I understand the pressures of the registry, I'll have none of the tacky registry issues when it comes to my relationships.

First example: I was in college for my first marriage, living in an apartment with mismatched dishes, a card table, and no couch. I wore (and wear) thrift-store clothes and shared a beater car. We chose to elope to WDW with my best friends and we paid for the trip ourselves, so we couldn't afford to stay on-site. Afterwards, we sent out announcements that explicitly said, "No gifts." We added handwritten notes saying we all we wanted was our loved ones' well wishes and that if someone really wanted to observe the occasion they could call us, ask to see our pictures, hear the endless stories, etc. Most of our friends and family thought it was a great idea.

Second example: I've been with my current DH--whom I haven't yet married, even though I refer to him as DH on the DISboards--for 8 years. We've been engaged for 6, but have been enjoying the engagement as its own destination. When we eventually do get married, there will be no registry, no gifts requested. When I told this FMIL of our plans, she was upset, not only because of a lack of a church wedding but because of the no-gifts decision. As she put it, "But I've been giving expensive gifts to all my nieces and nephews for years." Her response made me laugh, somewhat bitterly, because it was so darned honest.