Knee surgery andd friends

[Temair]

Okay this may be sour grapes, but I'm a bit upset with my 2 closest friends and I need to vent.

I had knee surgery 4 weeks ago today. I've had to keep my weight off the leg and really havn't been able to do much. Thank goodness my computer was moved to a cart next to my bed so I can still get my DD's school work done and dis.

Anyway of my 2 close friends only 1 cared enough to bring me a meal during the first week. 2 weeks after surgery we managed to go out the 3 of us to dinner, but I ended up in a lot of pain trying to get in and out of the car. The thing is they don't bother to call and just say Hi How are you? One of them said oh I'll come by one the weekend and help clean your house (I've helped her out this way in the past) but she never showed. So I'm stuck at home except when my DH (He's been doing everything laundry, cooking, cleaning) takes me out. DH even takes me to physical therapy appointments. I do have to say I really love and appreciate everything my DH has done and is still doing.

But I just feel like my friends don't seem to care about me. Last year when my friends husband was sent to Iraq I was calling every other day or stopping by to make sure things were going okay. I helped keep the kids out of her hair. Took them to activities.

I guess I just give a lot to relationships and tend to expect others to give in return but it never seems to happen. Am I expecting to much?

 

[honugirl]

Honestly, I would say you might be. I was in the same situation earlier this year after ankle surgery. Two friends took me out to lunch once each, then the rest of the time I was stuck at home unless I took the "special" bus out for groceries. Other than that, I ate out and had to figure out how to do everything else for myself (laundry, etc.)

I think you have to look at it as that you did those things for others because it made you happy and leave it at that. Some people just really aren't good at dealing with people in pain, etc. They just don't know what to say or do. They also don't know how to help. Maybe asking them for something specific might help get them in gear? Ask them if they could do x, y, or z.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

This is what I think, you can never judge friends on what you would do....In other words, what you did for them in the past, you did because you felt the need to do it and wanted to help. They might not have that same feeling and figure your husband is there and he will help and they will do what they can do when they can do it..

It does not make the hurt any less, I do understand how you feel as I am sensitive and always want people to treat me as I would treat them, it does not happen. My husband always says this... if you do not expect anything, you will not be hurt when it does not happen and if it does happen, then you will be pleasantly surprised. Not sure if I got it exactly verbatim, but I try to live by that. Then my feelings do not get hurt when people fall short of what I may expect of them or what I would do. Hope that made some sense...

Anyway, I do hope you are feeling better each day.. Hugs!!!!

 

[winniedapooh]

Feel better soon...I just went back to work FT after being out 2 weeks and PT 2 weeks after having knee surgery. I was supposed to be out for a month and then go PT but I couldn't do it. I have had so many knee surgeries that at this point I feel forgotten by friends, they just say another one??? Umm sorry do you think I enjoy this, lol? It is OK though because the important people in my life, DH and DCherubs, remember and help me more than you can imagine. I really like the view Mackey Mouse's husband has...makes the hurt a little less.