Possible death in family.

[rentingspace]

Hi, This probably sounds odd, but I need advice. We have reservations at our resort BCV for Jan 24-27. My mother-in-law has been in the hospital sence Dec 22. The doctors are not giving and high hopes. If the family does decide not to go what do I do? I want to cancel but the family says ((2) members of the family) say she could be this way for another 3days to 3months so they are hesitant on cancelling. What will happen do we have any recourse if she does die say Sunday.? Do I loose my points? or can I call with a short notice to reschedule. ME I Would cancel.

 

[tomandrobin]

Hi, This probably sounds odd, but I need advice. We have reservations at our resort BCV for Jan 24-27. My mother-in-law has been in the hospital sence Dec 22. The doctors are not giving and high hopes. If the family does decide not to go what do I do? I want to cancel but the family says ((2) members of the family) say she could be this way for another 3days to 3months so they are hesitant on cancelling. What will happen do we have any recourse if she does die say Sunday.? Do I loose my points? or can I call with a short notice to reschedule. ME I Would cancel.

Not trying to judge, but if your MIL has little time left, wouldn't their son/daughter want to spend the last weeks being around her? Disney can wait, but not your MIL.

You can cancel up to 24 hours prior, points go into an holding account.

 

[Chuck S]

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL.

If you cancel at least one day prior to your schedulaed arrival, those points go into a holding account and must be used for reservations made 60 days or less before arrival, and they can not be banked. If you cancel the day you are scheduled to arrive, all points are considered used and are lost.

 

[rentingspace]

I also think they should stay to be with their mom, but .

 

[KristinU]

We were in a similar situation in September - DH's father was hospitalized with congestive heart failure coupled with renal failure. He's had a long history of heart problems and it looked like this was it. He had been transferred to a teaching hospital from their regional hospital but they weren't sure he'd make the trip - he mad it and was in the ICU there for a couple of weeks, the whole nine yards. DH went immediately and visited for several days, as did his siblings (the doctor had told my MIL that it was probably a good idea to have the kids come and say their goodbyes). He was stable but still in the ICU as we got close to our trip. We decided to go with the knowledge that DH or all of us could need to fly out at any time. I guess maybe it was a pretty easy decision for us since we don't live in the same state, so we'd have to fly from home anyway and we were just waiting around for news either way. We just made sure that we had cell phones fully charged all the time and we checked in frequently.

Well, a few months and a couple of hospital and rehab transfers later, my FIL is doing well and has been at home for more than a month now.

Your mileage may vary, and I think it would have been a different decision if we were close by, but that's our recent story

 

[DisDaydreamer]

Not trying to judge, but if your MIL has little time left, wouldn't their son/daughter want to spend the last weeks being around her? Disney can wait, but not your MIL.

You can cancel up to 24 hours prior, points go into an holding account.

Don't mean to be blunt, but IMHO I think the OP is looking for advice on options, not advice on what they should want to do. Everybody's situation is different. I have been in this type of situation twice, and made a different decision with each situation.

 

[Starr W.]

You should go with your gut feeling. You can call and cancel and have the points put in a holding account, like Chuck S suggested. I think you have to use them by the end of your UY.

 

[CarolA]

Don't mean to be blunt, but IMHO I think the OP is looking for advice on options, not advice on what they should want to do. Everybody's situation is different. I have been in this type of situation twice, and made a different decision with each situation.

I agree.

To the OP. Call DVC, they have been very understanding about this kind of situation and might even let you use the "one time only super secret excepton" so the points won't go in holding.

I know how tough this is, but the real truth is that we often can't "hang out waiting" My grandfather spent 6 months in Hospice waiting to die. ALL of us made regular visits, but he would have been very upset if we changed plans etc. Each person knows thier family situation best, just let your family members take the lead. In my case when my Stepmother died I was in Europe leading a Girl Scout Trip. After talking with my Dad I did not come home. My family is not a big funeral family and my Dad actually wanted me to come a few weeks later when everyone else had gone and he was alone.

 

[casper]

This is one where you have to go with your heart. Are you close to your mother-in-law? What is your spouces' vote on staying or going? Will you be able to have fun and put the situation on the back burner? Will you be able to get "vacation time" again this year or is this the only shot you have?

You are not a bad person if you decide to go and have fun. Maybe that's what your mother-in-law would want. On the other hand, if something would happen to her while you are away, will you spend a life-time feeling guilty about that?

It is always difficult to make decisions during difficult times. I just paused to say a prayer for you. I hope the best for you and your family during this time.

 

[chainkid]

As someone who has two family members in Nursing homes, my mom and my father in law, we know that something could happen at any time. My mom has been at death's door several times and I have had to fly home early. I have always insisted that the rest of the family continue with their plans because they often come thru fine. I come home because I am the primary care giver and need to coordinate care. When they are that sick they often don't even know who we are so I say don't cancell your trip. If you have shown them love and visit them regularly they know it. They could die in their sleep and you wouldn't be there either. I live by the rule that I pretend each time I see them it could be the last and let God decide the timetable.

 

[rentingspace]

I knew I posted this question here for a reason. You folks in this community are wonderful. THANK you for your support and knowledge. I have to let my other half decide.

 

[Inkmahm]

I agree.

To the OP. Call DVC, they have been very understanding about this kind of situation and might even let you use the "one time only super secret excepton" so the points won't go in holding.

I know how tough this is, but the real truth is that we often can't "hang out waiting" My grandfather spent 6 months in Hospice waiting to die. ALL of us made regular visits, but he would have been very upset if we changed plans etc. Each person knows thier family situation best, just let your family members take the lead. In my case when my Stepmother died I was in Europe leading a Girl Scout Trip. After talking with my Dad I did not come home. My family is not a big funeral family and my Dad actually wanted me to come a few weeks later when everyone else had gone and he was alone.

You just made me smile at a memory of my dad. I had no choice but to go to a business meeting in Florida back in 2004. My dad had had a stroke 2 days before I left and was in the hospital (he was already dying from pancreas cancer but we didn't know how close he was.) I called home the first morning of the meeting and mom told me a test they had done showed my dad had maybe 2 weeks left to live. I got on the first plane home, intending to give up the WDW trip I had planned for my DH and me after the business meeting.

When I walked into my dad's hospital room that next morning, he looked at me and slowly (he'd had the stroke...) said "You don't belong here. Get your *** back to Florida." We did go back, too. Booked another flight for the next morning and finished the Florida trip. I was happy at the time because yet another doctor had said the first one was wrong and the chemo was working. Unfortunately, my dad did die about 3 weeks later from the cancer.

The point though is that he didn't want me to hang around waiting for him to die. He didn't want me to give up Disney because he knows how much DH and I love it (that trip was essentially our honeymoon, too.) So, you have to know your relative. Some may want you to hand around and cancel a trip. Others would have a fit if you did (like my dad.)

 

[tomandrobin]

Don't mean to be blunt, but IMHO I think the OP is looking for advice on options, not advice on what they should want to do. Everybody's situation is different. I have been in this type of situation twice, and made a different decision with each situation.

I did give advice about the points. I probably should not of interjected my opinion of the matter, not my concern.

Maybe the OP should have left the part about the MIL out and just asked about losing points on a short notice cancelation. But to the OP, I am sorry if I came across rude. Did not mean to be, just expressing my opinion which is not appearently approved by all.

Open my...insert foot.

 

[Mich Mouse]

Don't mean to be blunt, but IMHO I think the OP is looking for advice on options, not advice on what they should want to do. Everybody's situation is different. I have been in this type of situation twice, and made a different decision with each situation.

So glad you said this, Daydreamer.

rentingspace, I wish you and your family strength as you face this horrible ordeal.....God Bless.

 

[dcal]

First, so sorry to hear about your situation and please accept our prayers for your MIL's health and recovery. we were in the same situation in October. My wife's grandmother was in hospice, and her doctors said, only hours to live. We found out the week of our much planned BCV trip with my mother. We had a 2BR and a studio for my mom. Boy, oh boy, we discussed going, staying and cancelling. Everyone put their two cents in, and I don't know if that was good! In the end we decided to cancel. I'll get to that later.....

You need to know how nice and helpful MS can be. In the case of an extreme emergency, they offer a one time cancellation. They restored all of our points to our regular account. (except for the banked ones) They were great.

So, even though it's hard, the decision can only be yours, and your family's. My advice: do whatever you think is best and don't look back. My wife and her family got a chance to say their goodbyes to GM and she her spirits were lifted.

After cancelling we rescheduled. We're going on two trips. One next week and one in March.

Oh, by the way.....My wife's GM is still with us....It wasn't her time. So much for the Dr's dire predictions

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your family. Good luck.

 

[Buckalew11]

I also experienced this in Oct. I cancelled a week before I was to go because my dad was critically ill on hospice care. I was prepared for holding but member services gave the points back to me. Dad lasted until Nov. 3rd (about 1 month from when my trip was supposed to be) however, my mother still needed me home to help her and I needed that time with my dad. My mom did loose her cat that week and was hysterical as she was expecting the death of my dad and not the cat so she was dealing with losing "everything she had" at that point. I was blessed to be home with her during that time. Thank God MS can be so understanding.

My prayers are with your family.