Question about going to Disney World with my transgender daughter

[christined73]

I want to reply to all of your posts but I am overwhelmed by your generosity of spirt and your very welcome perspectives. I really want you all to know I am reading them and "hearing" you - and I appreciate this more than you can ever know. This has been a four year journey for me, a many more year journey for Jane, and I just really thank you all for allowing me to work through this here.

 

[christined73]

I do not fully agree with the last statement. It makes a difference if she is scared for something that will happen, that is likely to happen or has a slight chance of happening.

It can start with "something might happen at the airport" -> "airports and airplanes are not safe" -> solution: "I will not fly anymore."

These kind of thoughts and emotions can get out of hand quickly, so I do agree with the OP, it is worth examining to what is the actual level of danger and what is the probability of something happening.

Fear can be paralyzing and I think it is best to look together how to tackle this. Maybe it is staying home now, but do think of a plan for the next trip, to WDW or to another place.

no need to apologize, at all. - oops, replied to the wrong person! But thank you for replying to my post.

 

[christined73]

I do apologize for misinterpreting your position. I may well have been too direct.

You're aware of needing to work through your desire for the entire family to go. That's important and what I intended to convey, that it's your feelings that might be the larger issue.


There's a very good chance this loving mother has already done that, seems to me.

It's the daughter's "might not go" and "didn't want me to get the tickets" that suggests to me finding out "what she really is scared of" could go sour fast. Why isn't feeling unsafe about going to Florida now enough?

Additionally, "We all went to Disneyland last winter and was consistently mis-gendered (thank you sir, when she's in a dress) so she's used to that aspect,..." I certainly wouldn't want to go to any other place that's Disney only to have that happen again at what's promoted as a safe space. That would be more insults to endure. Why would I want to take that risk? I wouldn't.

"I also want to know if it is really THAT bad that she is right - she said there was a travel advisory or something sent out recently saying any LGBT person shouldn't go to Florida at all."

What we tell you about how bad it is or isn't doesn't matter. That your daughter feels unsafe going to WDW now is all that truly matters.

no need to apologize at all! Thank you though. This is a wild world we live in. I feel so grateful to talk to people that understand me.

 

[2vets]

Thanks for sharing this. I'm obviously out of the loop on the environment for the community here in central FL. It makes me sad to hear of these experiences.

Not at all, Duval/St. John’s counties are not the same as Orange. And to be clear, it’s been a weird few years and I imagine this is possible many places, West Coast obvs included, to both extremes, and we’re talking about individual people. But these things definitely surprised me. I’m from the area and will likely move back. There’s nothing at all that should have drawn attention. A small logo on a fleece setting someone off, that was next level nuts. It seemed important to mention.

 

[Her Dotness]

There’s nothing at all that should have drawn attention. A small logo on a fleece setting someone off, that was next level nuts. It seemed important to mention.

This indicates the sort of ugly reaction I was thinking about when people said security is there at WDW to assure LGBTQIA+ people feel safe.

Also, I'd just read a not entirely unrelated thread by a parent who spotted a middle-aged man taking phone photos of the parent's daughter doing cartwheels on the BoardWalk. No security intervened, because none happened to be there to see this disturbing incident. Fortunately, security did later become involved thanks to this being reported after the fact.
Thread here: https://www.disboards.com/threads/warning-possible-pedophile-at-house-of-blues-restaurant.3917060/

It'd be the "little things" that could really hurt I'd be fearful of. For instance, sitting for a moment in a park and experiencing a parent rushing their kids away from me with a disapproving look in my direction and maybe even saying something like, "Let's not sit here." Walking through a crowd and hearing those under the breath slurs obviously about me, etc. What's there to report to security when nothing overtly indicating criminal behavior occurred?

Sure, these can happen anywhere and sadly are things those deemed "not normal" become accustomed to. But after being repeatedly misgendered at Disneyland, I'd be thinking of what else might happen to me at what's supposed to be my safe place.

It's this statement of christined73's that got me thinking about those little emotional barbs: "We live in Washington state, where there is relatively little push-back against transgender people, although even at that she is struggling with finding a job, being accepted, and her general anxiety about how other people perceive and will treat her." (emphasis added)

That's why I can definitely understand her reluctance to go to Florida now, given the travel warning besides.

 

[christined73]

It'd be the "little things" that could really hurt I'd be fearful of. For instance, sitting for a moment in a park and experiencing a parent rushing their kids away from me with a disapproving look in my direction and maybe even saying something like, "Let's not sit here." Walking through a crowd and hearing those under the breath slurs obviously about me, etc. What's there to report to security when nothing overtly indicating criminal behavior occurred?

Sure, these can happen anywhere and sadly are things those deemed "not normal" become accustomed to. But after being repeatedly misgendered at Disneyland, I'd be thinking of what else might happen to me at what's supposed to be my safe place.

It's this statement of christined73's that got me thinking about those little emotional barbs: "We live in Washington state, where there is relatively little push-back against transgender people, although even at that she is struggling with finding a job, being accepted, and her general anxiety about how other people perceive and will treat her." (emphasis added)

That's why I can definitely understand her reluctance to go to Florida now, given the travel warning besides.

Yes, these little things can become big things in your head, for sure. But, as you said, this happens everywhere. I'm not sure what she will decide, but I'm hoping she will join us.

 

[bobbie68]

Please take this with a large grain of salt since I'm a straight white male, but I do follow LGBTQ* issues quite a bit. I'm also local to the parks.

I'd first like to congratulate the OP on the positive support for her child. So many TG people don't get that.

As to acceptance at WDW and the airport, she will be fine. Both are within Orange County which is a very open, welcoming area, unlike much of the rest of FL. The county police are trained in LGBTQ issues so no need to fear law enforcement people. The CM's at Disney are also very inclusive, and you may in fact encounter a TG cast member.

Any issues with the general public at WDW will be dealt with by security CM's who will protect your daughter. Yes, it is possible that some unenlightened member of the general public at WDW will object. But that's the same risk as she experiences anywhere.

Agree with this. I live in Orange County and with my transgender adult kids and frequent Disney. We feel safe here. This is the best county right now here for LGBTQ+.

 

[Boopuff]

Your story is touching. I just wanted to wish you and your family the best. Go to Disney and have fun!

 

[biochemgirl]

I don't think there is one right answer to the question of should trans or non-binary or gender non-comforming folks travel to WDW. Best wishes to you and your family as you support each other and make a choice that works best for you.

If Disney can speak up about "don't say gay", please let them speak up about HB1521 too. I was ready to participate in the CM walk out back then and would relish the ability to support them against another attempt to legislate a portion of humanity out of existence.

 

[grapefruitjellybean]

I just wanted to say that you’re an amazing mom.

 

[Piglet99645]

Wanted to also add that WDW continues to add more "Companion Restrooms" in more locations, though we have never had an issue going into either the men's or women's restrooms at WDW with someone of a different gender and/or our trans family member.

This is the info I came to this thread for. Thank you. And also thanks for a reminder that staying on property is probably worth it for the safety of my family member.

 

[CampbellzSoup]

I’m confused outside of talking about sexuality in school children is there something explicitly anti-LGBTQ that I’m not aware about?

 

[vakamalua]

To the OP: Mom to Mom, I hear you & understand. Nothing hurts more than seeing your child hurt. Congrats to your beautiful daughter for the courage to be who she truly is in today's world! I'm sure you're so proud of her! Your unconditional love, acceptance & support is so very important; it's heartbreaking that it's denied to so many.
Wherever you decide to vacation, savor your family"s time together.

 

[tink2424]

I’m confused outside of talking about sexuality in school children is there something explicitly anti-LGBTQ that I’m not aware about?

No, I don't think there is. It is mostly propaganda meant to hurt Desantis and Florida. The vast majority of people in the US don't care about a persons race, gender, religion or anything else as long as it doesn't effect them.

No physical assault of anyone should ever be tolerated for any reason. Words can hurt but you can walk away from words. No one should fear for their lives for any reason regardless of their race, gender, religion, political beliefs or anything else. We need to get a hold on the crime problem in the US so people feel safe again.

 

[starlite_]

Don't take this the wrong way because the fact that you are even asking makes you sound like a good mom, but if what you want is one last trip with all your kids before they are "grown" . Why are you still planning to go somewhere your daughter feels unsafe going? Where she might choose not to go and miss out on the last trip. Is going to WDW this year really more important than going somewhere your whole family feels safe and wanted?

Not judging you at all, just something to think about.

 

[EvanRubio]

Hello - I am a 49 year old mother of a 23 year old transgender woman. We live in Washington state, where there is relatively little push-back against transgender people, although even at that she is struggling with finding a job, being accepted, and her general anxiety about how other people perceive and will treat her. We have a HUGE trip planned for December 14-26, and she is invited, assuming her work (if she gets a job) lets her out for this time. Out here all we hear is how horrible Florida is to its LGBT population, and she is so scared that she will be targeted while she is there. Not by Disney World as a company or anything like that, but more by someone questioning why she is using the family restroom, or at the airport, etc. I am conflicted because I really feel like she will be safe since we don't ever leave Disney property when we go to Florida, but I also understand her hesitancy. So she told me that she might not go, and didn't want me to get the tickets. I already did though, so I guess I will eat that cost if she decides to stay here. I will feel awful about going if she decides not to go with us, but at the same time I feel like she might be making more of a concern than is necessary. For those of you that are more familiar with Florida and can attest to being gender fluid or transgender in Disney World, do you have any experiences that I can share with her to make her feel better about going? We all went to Disneyland last winter and was consistently mis-gendered (thank you sir, when she's in a dress) so she's used to that aspect, I think she is just really thinking someone will hurt her physically, since she usually comes and goes on her own she will be by herself often. I'm just a worried mom that wants one last trip with my kids before they are all off in their own lives. I also want to know if it is really THAT bad that she is right - she said there was a travel advisory or something sent out recently saying any LGBT person shouldn't go to Florida at all.

I understand your concerns as a mother wanting to ensure the safety and well-being of your transgender daughter during your trip to Florida. It's important to note that while there may be varying opinions and experiences, I can provide some general information to help address your concerns.

Disney World, as a company, has made efforts to create an inclusive and welcoming environment for all guests, including those who identify as transgender. They have policies in place to protect against discrimination based on gender identity or expression. Additionally, Disney has implemented diversity and inclusion training for their employees.

While it's impossible to guarantee that no negative experiences or incidents will occur, it's important to remember that Florida, like any other place, is made up of a diverse population with varying attitudes and beliefs. Major tourist destinations such as Disney World generally attract a more diverse and accepting crowd, which may contribute to a more inclusive atmosphere.

As with any travel destination, it's important to take precautions and be aware of local laws and regulations. It can also be helpful to research resources or organizations in the area that provide support or information specifically for the LGBTQ+ community. They may offer guidance on safe spaces or provide advice on navigating potential challenges.

Regarding the travel advisory you mentioned, I don't have specific information on any recent advisory for LGBTQ+ individuals traveling to Florida. It's recommended to check with reputable sources such as government travel advisories or LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations for the most up-to-date information and guidance.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to go on the trip should be made based on your daughter's comfort level and sense of safety. Engaging in open and supportive communication with her, and listening to her concerns, can help determine the best course of action.

 

[AliceIn]

I am so sorry that your daughter is anxious about how she is perceived. It is hard walking around feeling like other people are judging you or feeling worried that someone might say something unkind.

Let her know you'd love to have her come, but give her space to make the decision on her own.

 

[Suz333]

No, I don't think there is. It is mostly propaganda meant to hurt Desantis and Florida. The vast majority of people in the US don't care about a persons race, gender, religion or anything else as long as it doesn't effect them.

No physical assault of anyone should ever be tolerated for any reason. Words can hurt but you can walk away from words. No one should fear for their lives for any reason regardless of their race, gender, religion, political beliefs or anything else. We need to get a hold on the crime problem in the US so people feel safe again.

Well, people mostly don’t care, but politicians in Florida have passed a bill stating that medical personnel can refuse to provide medical care if they have a “moral” objection. And I notice, though I hope it was unintentional, you left out “sexual orientation “ in your list of things that shouldn’t be a cause for fear.

Guess what? The Florida legislature left it out of that medical bill too. So starting June 1st, a medical care provider could decide to not provide me and my wife medical care because they have a quote unquote “moral” objection.

I was born and raised in Florida. Most of my family is still there. Heck, I own DVC points there. But I am seriously considering not going back for a long time. I’d be fine in the Disney bubble, probably. And with my family. But what if I needed medical care?

That bill is not “propaganda meant to hurt Desantis and Florida”. It is harmful, potentially life endangering bigotry, written into law. It is a travesty.

I think OP’s daughter has some very understandable misgivings. I wonder OP, if you could work with Disney to change your vacation plans to DL? It’s two separate resorts, so it seems unlikely, but if you don’t ask the answer is definitely “no”.

 

[Her Dotness]

I wonder OP, if you could work with Disney to change your vacation plans to DL? It’s two separate resorts, so it seems unlikely, but if you don’t ask the answer is definitely “no”.

The OP mentioned the daughter was upset by having been repeatedly misgendered at DLR. Not likely, I'd think, she'll care to return there soon.

"We all went to Disneyland last winter and was consistently mis-gendered (thank you sir, when she's in a dress) so she's used to that aspect,..."

 

[tink2424]

Well, people mostly don’t care, but politicians in Florida have passed a bill stating that medical personnel can refuse to provide medical care if they have a “moral” objection. And I notice, though I hope it was unintentional, you left out “sexual orientation “ in your list of things that shouldn’t be a cause for fear.

Guess what? The Florida legislature left it out of that medical bill too. So starting June 1st, a medical care provider could decide to not provide me and my wife medical care because they have a quote unquote “moral” objection.

I was born and raised in Florida. Most of my family is still there. Heck, I own DVC points there. But I am seriously considering not going back for a long time. I’d be fine in the Disney bubble, probably. And with my family. But what if I needed medical care?

That bill is not “propaganda meant to hurt Desantis and Florida”. It is harmful, potentially life endangering bigotry, written into law. It is a travesty.

I think OP’s daughter has some very understandable misgivings. I wonder OP, if you could work with Disney to change your vacation plans to DL? It’s two separate resorts, so it seems unlikely, but if you don’t ask the answer is definitely “no”.

I think you missed the "or anything else" part of my writing. It literally means all things. If I had to list out everything my post would have gone on forever. Don't be so sensitive.

And yes it is propaganda. So what if they have that bill? How many people have been denied care? I doubt most physicians or nurses care about the bill. The ones that do don't have to treat you and then you will have a different medical provider. All of this is over blown. Aside from a case where you are in need of immediate medical care no one should have to treat someone they don't want to. Physicians do it all the time. So that is nothing new. This is just propaganda against Florida trying to scare people and take down DeSantis politically.

If someone doesn't feel comfortable don't go. That is always your choice but feelings aren't always based on facts.