Question on age/birthday and starting school

[Minnie824]

I know I saw a post similar to this before, but I couldn't find it, so, I'm starting another one.

My DD is not old enough for preschool yet, but we just got park district info in the mail and it got me to thinking. They say for the 4 year old preschool, they must be 4 by sept 1 of that year. My DD's birthday is Oct 8. I'm not sure if theres some way to test and start early while still 3. My question is, should I do that if its available though? Does anyone have a child with an October birthday, and are they old or young for their grade?

I'm wondering it would be better for her to be older in the grade anyway, because my birthday is end of Aug, and I was young, so everyone drove ahead of me, and turned 18, and in college, everyone went to the bar and I sat home. You know what I mean. I just wanted some opinions on which would be better. Thanks.

 

[SuzEm]

My DD was already 5, about to turn 6 in early November when she started Kindergarten. I was concerned that she would not be challenged and get bored because she was already doing 1st grade workbooks when she started Kindergarten. However, she has done fine, it all comes very easy to her and she loves school. I think the fact that it does come easy, and she can help other students (which her teacher encourages) gives her a lot of self-confidence and helps build self-esteem. I don't think you will regret her being a little older than the others. Feel free to email me if you have questions.

 

[Jacksmom99]

A question for you... 1) is this public pre-school or private? If it's public, than there might not be anyway around the age limits. Private pre-schools in my area though start at 2.9. We are not starting DS until he's 4 though because he is thriving and loving his daycare provider.

However, if the district will let you around the age limit and you feel your daughter's ready than I think you should send her. I have a Sept. B-day, and other than turning 21 at the beginning of senior year of college vs junior year of college, that was my only issue. Now that I look at it from a parents perspective, I'd rather not have my child turning 21 any sooner than necessary

Now, one more unsolicited comment from a teaching perspective. If the child in question were a boy with a late b-day, I would STRONGLY recommend keeping them out for another year. Boys mature much more slowly than girls at this age and often they are not ready for school when they have summer or early fall b-days.

 

[tinaluis]

I was sure that there would be some way around the September 1st requirement in Illinois because my middle DD's bday is September 11th (of all days) and I seem to recall that other parents were able to get their kids in sooner, but there isn't any way around it. I've inquired at every type of school available here, ie., Catholic, Lutheran, private, public, etc., and the law is the law and no exceptions are made. I was told the Kindergarten isn't a requirement, which means she can technically skip it, but she must be 6 before September 1st in order to start first grade. I was concerned that she wouldn't be challenged, too, but I think this may work out for the best. She has the most active imagination of any child I've seen, but she doesn't seem at all interested in learning her ABC's, numbers or things of that sort. I think the extra time will actually be a benefit to her.

 

[Boo Mc]

Our son has an Oct. birthday and we waited to send him to kindergarten (which he is in now). We went back and forth with our decision because the school tested hime and said he was o.k. to go (our cut-off day here is 12/01). We are so happy that we waited. Almost half of his class also waited to go, because of late birthdays, so he would have been much younger than most kids if he had gone last year. He is now in the same position as Suzem's child. He's doing great in school and I think that's one reason that he likes it so much. We talked to many parents who also waited to send their kids and they all said that they were glad they waited. No one said they regretted not sending their child earlier. My other concern was that since so many parents wait to send that our son could conceivably be 14 1/2 in high school and have kids in the same class who are 16 and driving, dating etc. Then you end up with "all my friends can do these things why can't I?" Believe me I know - I was youngest in my class - made the cut-off by 4 days. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I would consider your child lucky to be one the oldest children in the class. My DS was premature and his due date would have put him making the cut off deadline by 1 week. I held him back untill the next year and have never regreted the decission. DS was a "smart" kid and even went to kindergarten reading. He however would have been a year younger and more inmature in lots of ways than many of the kids.
The trend now in many parts of the country is to hold summer and fall birthday children back even if they make the cut-off date.I am a preschool director and our preschool does not accept any "early entrance" children as we feel it is not in their best intrest.

Some school districts do allow a testing -screening process for ealy entrace but I have not had any children go this route and know little about it. An option you may want to consider is a good private 3 year old preschool program that would give your daughter the stimulation she needs with out the presures of a more structured classroom. If she is in a good daycare however she is getting that anyway.

Making decisions for our children is so hard because we love them so much. You know your daughter best and will do what is best for her. Good luck.


jordan's mom

 

[Hollie in NH]

I would also consider waiting. My oldest son has a birthday on Aug.22. We started him in pre-school when he turned 4. He was always behing the other kids all through pre-school and kindergarten. Sometimes this made him very sad and frustrated.

When it came time for first grade we had the option for something called Readiness it's a class in the school for kids who are not ready for first grade. We chose to send him. They will attend first grade the following year. My son matured so much in that year . The best thing we ever did.

My son is now 14. He loves to be older. There are many kids he knows that are older. It's very common. He is excited that he will be one of the first to get to drive.

Good Luck!

 

[chrisn]

His b-day is August 15th. He turned 5 two weeks before Kindergarten started. He had 1 year of pre-school at daycare before that. He is immature compared to my DD at the same age. He did have kind of a slow start not really academically but more on the social side (paying attention, sometimes he's in Harry Potterland during class). He is doing great now. They just had mid year testing and he is right on track. HE IS GOING TO PASS! I am so glad and I think that if he hadn't had that year of pre-school, he probably would not have been ready for Kindergarten.

 

[goofygal1975]

I wish that I had realized it was OK to keep kids out of school until the following year! My DS7, turned 5 in June before Kindergarten. (he was born 3 wks early) He is struggling now in school, especially reading. He's been struggling since kindergarten, but at the time he would have been the ONLY kindergartener to stay back, and the principal didn't think it necessary. If I had know I could have waited one more year, I think I would have done so! we have to work so hard to keep up. All the kids in his class are "older" 2nd graders, same goes for baseball and soccer!! It's a personal decision, I know. Just thought I'd put my 2cents in!!

 

[The Sybah Shelstah]

Just my perspective on this based on my own experience so far.

My oldest had a birthday in Jan- so when she started school it wasn't even a question about waiting till the next year- we had to. She did go to preschool though but mostly for the social skills and learning how to deal with the rules/etc of school because she is ADHD/ODD. (Although it didn't end up helping her because the teacher she got destroy her self-esteem and it took a whole summer to restore that and her love for school. Thank goodness she got an awesome K teacher though. Still love that lady with all my heart.

She's a bit older than some in her class- well, atleast she was until this year! We moved to another town and I just found out recently that almost EVERYONE in her class had late birthdays and/or were held back previously and so she is now the youngest in her class this year. LOL But she's doing fine- she's a bright child and is learning to control her behavior rather well this year. (another great teacher also- and that certainly helps)

Now my son has a birthday in Nov and so he also cannot start school until he's almost 6.. even more so than his sister! (since there is almost 3 months difference in their birthdays). I elected to send him to private preschool (since you cannot send them to public preschool unless you meet the income requirements or unless your child doesn't speak english as their first language. We do not qualify either way) and he is having a ball and learning a lot. I'm not really the "homeschooling type" (although I know many are- I'm just not) and I would really be concerned that even being OLDER than all the other children, that he might be a bit behind academically and socially if I hadn't sent him to preschool this year. So if that is an option for you, you might consider it.

My youngest? Well, her birthday is right BEFORE the cut off date to start school... and quite frankly I'm afraid that she might be too young to actually start that year (as someone else posted on this thread- sometimes if their birthday is right before the cut off they might have problems keeping up with all the older children). So I don't know... I'll see at that time whether or not I think she should be held back or not. She's already pretty bright for her age- but I don't want to start her out having to struggle to keep up at school.

 

[buzz2400]

My son's birthday is 9/4. I did not know I could wait a year before putting him into kindergarten. He has struggled so many years now. He is in 5th grade right now. He stayed back in first grade. He went to Sylvan Learning Center. His self esteem was destroyed when he was in kindergarten. Kids still make fun of him for staying back. My answer to you is if you any doubts of whether you should wait because of a late birthday, then wait. When I should be saving for a college fund for him, I am just hoping that he just graduates high school. I would also suggest maybe contacting the school and asking their opinion. They would know if most kids with late birthdays wait a year.

 

[beattyfamily]

Another vote for waiting till he's almost 6 for Kindergarten.

My DD was born October 8 and I can already tell she's not quite at the same level our 6 year old was at the same age. I'm glad she'll have an extra year in pre-school.

She's 3 now and will be in pre-school for 3 years. When she starts Kindergarten, she'll be almost 6. That's fine by me.

Our other DD who is 6 1/2 and in first grade, was born in June . She started Kindergarten at age 5 and 3 months. It was fine for her because she's very smart. I didn't even think about holding her back then because I didn't know you could. But it worked out fine. She's doing well.

But I feel keeping my 3 year old in pre-school for 3 years and then starting Kindergarten when she's almost 6 is the best thing for her.

Every child is different.

Good luck!

 

[campingcorgi]

An observation from a First Grade teacher (me):

Most of the children in my higher reading groups are older--either October, November, December birthdates or have been held back a year before starting school. Occasionally you will have a young first grader who does very well, but they seem to have to work much harder at it than the slightly older ones.

Childhood is a journey, not a race. Give them plenty of time to be kids!

 

[BrerMom]

A good rule of thumb is, "If you have any doubts at all, wait a year."

 

[4greatboys]

My oldest ds b-day is Sept 2 (he was born at 1:23 am) he missed the Sept 1 cut-off but 1 hr 23 min, lol. But we would have not put him in school til he was 6 anyway. I have always heard it better to wait that ectra year and he has done great. Im afraid if we would have tried to start him earlier it would have been much harder one him.

 

[sha_lyn]

I agree with most of the post. Don't rush it. My DD turned 5 Aug 4, just 10 days before PS starts here, and 27 days beofre the cut off. We sent her to a private preschool at 4. I really didn't plan on homeschooling her (although I was already homeschooling 13 DS) but her preschool teacher and Iboth agreed she was not ready for K. So what I did was purchase a presschool curriculum and started her on that. Well by mid Nov she was "up to speed" and I started her on a K curriculum. Eventually if the schools around here continue to improve (the local ele actually has a few 5 and 6 yr degree teachers now, a new pricipal etc, looks like "no child left behind" is working in this case) we might send her in 3rd grade(she should be caught up by then). If it weren't for the fact that I HS DS I wouldn't worry so much about getting her "caught up" to where the schools say she should be. However, I'm afraid they would look at her being a grade behind as a reflection of HS and not her readiness. Since they are trying to change the copulsitory ages in GA (to limit parents holding kids back a yr to start school, or letting students students work ahead and finish early) I'm not to happy with the State Dept of Ed right now anyway. The age was once 7-16. It is now 6-16 and they want to change it to 5-17.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

Hi, We're raising a second generation now (Isabella is 4 1/2 and is my husband's granddaughter) but I had experience with keeping one home an additional year quite some time ago. Tim is now 27. His birthday is in late May and the cutoff for kindergarten admission was the end of August. Though he was quite bright he just wasn't emotionally ready to go to school every day. There was the additional issue in that his just older brother, Steve, was labeled gifted and talented and got lots of positive attention at school. He didn't need to be in anyone's shadow. I have never regretted keeping him home that extra year. He loved being one of the oldest and most capable in his early years at school and being a year older and wiser made starting high school and college easier too, I think. He's quite successful, does stage work, presently is working on the "Blue Clue's Live, Happy Birthday Blue" stage show traveling the country. He's happy, soon to be engaged and his mom is very proud of him.

So my advice is the same as most of the others. Keep your child home if you have any concerns, a mother's intuition is a very valuable thing.

 

[cats mom]

Another vote for being the oldest rather than the youngest. My dd makes the cutoff by 5 days - she's waiting a year anyway.

Interesting note - my oldest dd's 8th grade teacher split the kids into groups by age and did a quiz show type competition last year. The oldest group won (they finished 1 3 2 4, 1 being oldest 4 youngest) and he says the oldest group almost always finishes first. So think beyond kindergarten.

Good Luck - so many decisions with no real 'right' answers!

 

[zurgswife]

Our Private-church schools cutoff isJuly 1....my youngest is June 5....they have had an unwritten policy over the years not to take June babies....What amazes me is that she is doing OK....quite stuborn and refuses to do somethings cause she doesn't feel likeit......Not sure what I'm going to do with her next year....In a public school she would be in the middle of the age group of kids but in her school she is the youngest and it seems she acts younger because of it...prior to going to school she always strived to do things past her age ability ...I'm assuming because she is the youngest of 4...now it seems to be her school position of age has more influence on who she acts....

I'm thinking of holding her back...though I'm not sure yet....I guess I'll wait until the time comes...

 

[taylor1293]

IMO, I would wait. No need to rush him. If he isn't ready, it may cause problems for him later.

My DD will be 3 at the end of July, and she will be eligible to start 3 yr old preschool, but at this point I don't think she will be ready.

I don't know what state you live in, but in Illinois (it's also a Sept 1st cut-off) some districts do allow testing for those born before December 31st. You may have that option.

My friend started her 2 yr 9 month old in 3 year old preschool and he had a November birthday. However, he is exceptionally bright and can already read, so I think he was an excellent candidate to start early.

Good luck making your decision!

Teresa