so your feelings on a teen's baby shower?

[luvmyfam444]

I was just looking @ pics one of my dd's friends put on FB of a pregnant 15yo's baby shower. I think it was put on by her friends. Just the teen girls were there (like 10 of them) & the girl's mom.

I don't like it - I think it makes pregnancy look like a whole lot of fun to these other girls - do you agree?

 

[WowLookAtThat]

I disagree. A baby shower is for the baby and regardless of how the child came about, babies need things. The mom is going to go through a lot as a teen mom and it is likely her friends will also see her struggle and make sacrifices.

 

[Scornelius]

I was just looking @ pics one of my dd's friends put on FB of a pregnant 15yo's baby shower. I think it was put on by her friends. Just the teen girls were there (like 10 of them) & the girl's mom.

I don't like it - I think it makes pregnancy look like a whole lot of fun to these other girls - do you agree?

I think if she has decided to keep the baby, it is entitled to all the traditions and celebrations as a baby born into whatever situation you feel is worthy. Yes, it might glorify it to her friends, but hopefully they're smart enough to know there's more to raising a child than the pre-birth party. This girl will need the help more than most women.

 

[mom2rb]

I am a child of teenage parents. They were 15 when my brother was born and 17 when I was born. I would have been hurt if I had found out that no one had a shower because they didn't like the circumstances of our births.

 

[BigAlsGal]

I disagree. A baby shower is for the baby and regardless of how the child came about, babies need things. The mom is going to go through a lot as a teen mom and it is likely her friends will also see her struggle and make sacrifices.

 

[Laura66]

I disagree. A baby shower is for the baby and regardless of how the child came about, babies need things. The mom is going to go through a lot as a teen mom and it is likely her friends will also see her struggle and make sacrifices.

Yes!

 

[mtchurchmonica]

Depending on the circumstances, I might decide to send a gift but not attend the shower.

 

[mamacatnv]

OP I understand what you are saying. Its a tough call, I do think that teens often have a glamorized image of a baby but I also agree with others that a teen mother needs all the help and support she can get.

My BFF and I had this discussion when her unwed, 18 year old DD got pregnant. My BFF said it was a fine line to not glamorize a teen pregnancy, especially with all of her DD's friends who did think it was "cute" "fun" etc.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I think it's a bit different nowadays than when we were in school. I don't remember anyone getting pregnant in my class (of course there may have been someone) but if they did they likely dropped out of hs & you just didn't hear much of them (assumed they moved away)

But now these kids see the pics on fb, instagram of the cute babies & happy momma's. Nothing unglamorous is shown. DD has another classmate who had her baby earlier in the year (also 15) & we've looked @ the pics & talked about how rough it is going to be for the teen. (but reality its probably not going to be - I think both the teen's moms will raise the babies & the kids will continue life as normal (mostly). Of course I don't know that for a fact.

I know how badly I wanted a baby as a teen. I just wanted to be a mommy...I babysat all the time & thought I could do it.

 

[Hannathy]

I wouldn't be for it. I don't think you should add to the glamour of a poor decision. It isn't a joyous event.

If she is keeping it, another thing I disagree with. Then I might send something useful for the child like diapers.

a 15yr old is not equipped mentally, financially, educationally or emotionally to raise a child and I won't be endorsing something I feel strongly against.

 

[JennaTX]

I don't get the negativity

It is a baby that is being welcomed in the world. Any Mom needs help, especially a young mom!

Teen girls were getting pregnant before it became a "thing" like Teen Mom on MTV.

This girl is pregnant a baby is going to be born. I guess it is up to you whether you want to welcome the baby and help the mom or not.

 

[NMAmy]

A teen mom needs all the help and support she can get, IMO. I don't get this need to ostracize her and the child.

Once the baby arrives, her friends will see the day to day grind and the sacrifice that's involved.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think it is always appropriate to have a shower for an expectant mother, especially if it is her first.

I also think it is always fine to politely decline an invitation to one, without giving any reason, if you have ANY reason to not attend including if that reason if you do not feel teens should have babies or get any of the fun that goes with all the work or whatever--but that reason should be kept to yourself and not spread about.

 

[Aliceacc]

My son is adopted.

Sixteen years ago, a young girl made a decision to have this child instead of aborting him. And he has brought such joy into our lives!!! Every single day I thank the 18 year old woman who chose to give birth to my son.

I think that every birth of every child in this world should be celebrated.

Sure, showers make being pregnant look like one big party. Somehow they never show the morning sickness or the times you get up with a sick baby at 2 am, or teething, or potty training, or the terrible twos... or all the teenage moms who never graduate high school.

But that's the job of parents and everyone else in the sphere of influence for teenagers. For THAT young woman, the ship has already sailed and she's chosen to have the baby. That's a courageous decision. So I applaud the celebration.

And, probably much more than moms like me, this young mom needs every gift her family and friends can shower upon her.

 

[kmb584]

I have no issue with a baby shower for an expectant teenage mom. Those girls are at a huge financial disadvantage from the get-go and need all of the help that others are willing to provide them. Roughly only 1/3 of teen moms will graduate from high school with many dropping out to work full-time minimum wage jobs to be able to buy the basics.. I'd rather pony up cases of diapers, see the mom stay in school and be able to better provide for her family in the future.

 

[indimom]

I wanted a baby when I was a teen. I LOVED babies. Still do.

I went to baby showers and thought they were boring. lol. The baby shower is the last thing that would make me WANT to get pregnant.

We had a shower for a close family member who was pregnant and unmarried at 19. No subsequent teen pregnancies resulted from the baby shower OR the happy family photos of mother/son.

 

[Art 1]

I was just looking @ pics one of my dd's friends put on FB of a pregnant 15yo's baby shower. I think it was put on by her friends. Just the teen girls were there (like 10 of them) & the girl's mom.

I don't like it - I think it makes pregnancy look like a whole lot of fun to these other girls - do you agree?

I agree with you.

 

[Burnedout]

Every baby deserves to be welcomed. Being pregnant and a teen is hard enough. Half of the world already is saying she is a terrible person. Support of friends is important. She will still lose most of them because that is what happens when she is stuck and they aren't.

 

[Granny square]

I don't get the negativity It is a baby that is being welcomed in the world. Any Mom needs help, especially a young mom! Teen girls were getting pregnant before it became a "thing" like Teen Mom on MTV. This girl is pregnant a baby is going to be born. I guess it is up to you whether you want to welcome the baby and help the mom or not.

No kidding. It "not being glamorous" didn't keep kids from having sex. Actually I believe the numbers have dropped from my moms era

 

[Burnedout]

No kidding. It "not being glamorous" didn't keep kids from having sex. Actually I believe the numbers have dropped from my moms era

http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/teen-pregnancy/trends.html

Teen Pregnancies

The national teen pregnancy rate has declined almost continuously over the last two decades. The teen pregnancy rate includes pregnancies that end in a live birth, as well as those that end in abortion or miscarriage (fetal loss).* Between 1990 and 2008 (the most recent year for which data are available), the teen pregnancy rate declined by 42 percent—from 116.9 to 67.8 pregnancies per 1,000 teen girls.[5] According to recent national data, this decline is due to the combination of an increased percentage of adolescents who are waiting to have sexual intercourse and the increased use of contraceptives by teens.[5],[6]