Heather.Mohler
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2010
My favorite morning show radio personality passed away on Saturday. Kidd Kraddick. He was 54 and underweight (or so he always said). I'm 32, but I am 380 pounds. How could he pass away, and someone my size be okay? So I started obsessing about whether or not I have heart problems or clogged arteries like he did, and don't know it (as he didn't). All I can think about is whether or not I'm about to die. So I have decided to begin the quest for a healthy life once again. I know the saying, "if you are tired of starting over, stop giving up", but it's not always that easy. I had been doing great before. I lost 40 pounds and was heading in the right direction, then just lost my motivation. I stopped going to the gym and ate anything and everything. I am not quite up to the weight I started at, but I'm close. And I'm scared. So I'm doing it. And if I can do it this week, I can do anything.
I'm set to leave on August 8th (my birthday) for New Orleans to play at the National Flute Association Convention with the Mercer University Flute Choir. It's a big deal for me. And all of my planning has revolved around what great food I'd be able to try. The day after I get back, I was set to move to Augusta, Ga for grad school. My first time living on my own, and in a new city. Very exciting. Then this morning I find out that there is an issue with getting student loans and I might not be able to go after all. They tell me this 11 days before I'm supposed to move in. On top of these stressors, my little brother is moving 2 hours away to go to college. He has been a huge part of my life since I was 14, so having him move away is pretty upsetting. But I'm immensely proud of him and excited that he'll probably have as much fun in college as I have.
My plan is to just wise up and stop letting laziness and cravings decide what I'm going to eat. Yes, its easier to just hit a drive thru, but it will end up killing me if I don't stop. I desperately want that slice of pizza, but I don't want to die. I don't know when it will sink in that that is the alternative, but it has to eventually.
This is a really depressing post, but its the truth as I see it now. In black and white. And once I admit it to the world, I am accountable for my actions. It's somehow more real if I tell others that I am going to do it. A healthy view of my situation and an endless amount of prayer will get me through this. I just have to have faith.
Heather
I'm set to leave on August 8th (my birthday) for New Orleans to play at the National Flute Association Convention with the Mercer University Flute Choir. It's a big deal for me. And all of my planning has revolved around what great food I'd be able to try. The day after I get back, I was set to move to Augusta, Ga for grad school. My first time living on my own, and in a new city. Very exciting. Then this morning I find out that there is an issue with getting student loans and I might not be able to go after all. They tell me this 11 days before I'm supposed to move in. On top of these stressors, my little brother is moving 2 hours away to go to college. He has been a huge part of my life since I was 14, so having him move away is pretty upsetting. But I'm immensely proud of him and excited that he'll probably have as much fun in college as I have.
My plan is to just wise up and stop letting laziness and cravings decide what I'm going to eat. Yes, its easier to just hit a drive thru, but it will end up killing me if I don't stop. I desperately want that slice of pizza, but I don't want to die. I don't know when it will sink in that that is the alternative, but it has to eventually.
This is a really depressing post, but its the truth as I see it now. In black and white. And once I admit it to the world, I am accountable for my actions. It's somehow more real if I tell others that I am going to do it. A healthy view of my situation and an endless amount of prayer will get me through this. I just have to have faith.
Heather