Tell Me About your Asperger's Kid

[kirstenb1]

I knew this was going to turn into a bash each other thread before it even started. Wow.

Anyhow, when thinking of how stressed out people get when learning they may be diagnosed with something such as autism or just about any other type of health issue be it mental, emotional, physical, etc.

What does a diagnosis do? It doesn't change the person. The diagnosis can be very helpful (as long as its not a misdiagnosis - my personal example would be a doctor saying I had anxiety and possible asthma and prescribed antidepressants and an inhaler when my actual problem was my thyroid and that was never addressed until I saw a cardiologist because it was causing cardiac issues.. this was my 3rd misdx due to this.. first was cardiac when I was 19, put on heart meds, found out I was pregnant -they assumed it was all due to pregnancy, then the above)

Sorry to get off topic. The OP wanted to know about each of your and your personal experiences. If she is new to AS/AD, then she needed to be reassured in sort of way. Not that you need to sugar coat anything but just that her child, if diagnosed, isn't somehow going to be a different person.

To OP: Whether your child is diagnosed or not, he will still be your child. Only difference is, now you can [hopefully] get the assistance that he's been possibly lacking. That's a good thing, right?? You life may get a lot busier and even hectic at times, but that would have happened anyway. As children age, their needs change. All have different attitudes, different likes/dislikes, quirks, skills (some academic, some sports, etc). ALL people (typical/nontypical) are different... some just more so than others.

Honestly, I have 3 kids...

My oldest (13yr old boy) has ADHD/ODD - it was a 'nightmare' when he was little (climbed on top of a 3 story apt building when he was 4, would run out of his school, store, etc into the parking lot from 4 up until about 8yrs old.. he pooped his pants until 8(it was always on purpose)... but he also had anxiety and depression due to a lot of things going on around him. We moved a lot, he switched schools, his dad is in the army and was deployed almost from the day we moved back to the US in 2002 (he was 2 at the time - this is when his behavior took a major turn for the worse). However, he's a very kind, sweet, considerate young man that has anger outbursts when his anxiety gets too high. Visiting with a psychologist seemed to help him with his anger outbursts. He just needed a place to be able to let out his feelings or aggression. All people do this differently. One child that I keep in the afternoons does this by writing and drawing his feelings.
Now, at 13 he still has all the same issues, but they are less and he's learned over time to known when they are flaring up. Sometimes he has to stand to play a board game with us or stand to do work at school. We've also noticed, for him, diet and nutrition (adding certain vits/mins) play a huge role. I can tell, for example, if he's eaten junk at school. Unfortunately, the school took out the salad bar and that used to be what he ate almost everyday. Now he's eating what they serve in the hot line and his ADHD/ODD is flaring up more frequently.

My daughter (11yrs old, middle child), is what you would call NT. She's definitely got her own unique personality and quirks. She's had digestive issues which has led her to be chronically underweight. Also has scoliosis. We believe this was the major contributing factor to her digestive issues. A wonderful chiropractor has just about succeeded to 'straightening her out' LOL. Anyhow, very little foot/leg/back pain, almost no digestion (constipation) issues and her last visit to Vandy showed her spine is near perfect!! Since puberty hit, she's turning into a sassy monster at times, but what do you expect? Oh I forgot.. she has a ton of med & food allergies.

My little guy (4yr old) - he's being referred for AS/AD eval. I've always known he was different, BUT its because I had experience and knew what to look for, etc. If he's officially diagnosed then it won't change HIM. He's the sweetest kid I know. His co-morbidities are more concern for me... Seizures, sleep apnea, sensory processing disorder, lactose intolerance, digestion issues and who knows what else.

I think the biggest problems (now please correct me if I'm wrong - but no bashing, that's not what this thread was about) are the co-morbids. I was just reading an article the other day about the prevalence of seizures as a co-morbid.... ever heard of absent seizures for instance... there are some types of neurological disruptions or even seizures that can be viewed as 'typical autistic behaviors'.

Ok, back to MY main topic. Please stop bashing each other for their personal experiences. Could just be that the negative experiences are more recent and still a raw spot that needs some reassurance, some kind words, understanding and hugs??? If you were having a rough time with things would you rather people bash you or reach out to you??? We all get so caught up in caring for our children that we often forget to take care of ourselves. I'm definitely one of those people, esp since I'm also a single mom and their dads are basically absent (one by choice, the other by army orders-lives in another country). I really hope all of you can find support within your local communities, church, mom's group, etc. Boards like this are great, but having someone you can lean on in real life is even better sometimes

Bravo Cierese!!! So well stated!!

One of my great frustrations with autism is how fractured the community is. Some folks want a cure, some folks would shun a cure, etc. It's hard to move foreward as a group without some common ground.

You would make a great leader at Autism Speaks, or ASA!!

 

[a1tinkfans]

I do not feel sorry for myself. I do not sit around all day wishing for things to be different. I did not initiate the subject of taking away Aspergers. I purely reacted to the statement of others (who are clearly trying to convince themselves) that they embrace their child's disability and would not change it.

THIS THREAD IS ABOUT ASPERGERS! THIS IS ONLY A SMALL ASPECT OF OUR LIVES, NOT THE ENTIRE THING.

Denial is every bit as ugly as Aspergers. To those of you who think your children don't know there is anything different about them. Ummm, yes they do. And by being in denial about it, you are teaching them that you are ashamed of it. Poor kids.

I am so done with this conversation. You just can't communicate with people who wish to be dense.

just in case you pop back over...

 

[Cierese]

Bravo Cierese!!! So well stated!!

One of my great frustrations with autism is how fractured the community is. Some folks want a cure, some folks would shun a cure, etc. It's hard to move foreward as a group without some common ground.

You would make a great leader at Autism Speaks, or ASA!!

Aww, thanks. I try to advocate, but its not always easy.

Anyhow, I used to work with a young man that was a part of a group (club) called Young Life. He participated in the Capernaum ministry and was looking to be a leader one day. It's not for everyone, but definitely worth checking out if you have children middle, highschool, and college aged. younglife.org/Capernaum

 

[Donna M]

Fortforever,
I do think you have a right to your opinion, but just by reading your posts, it seems to me that you have alot of anger. Your first post stated, that your son will push into people and not even apologize, he sounds angry as well. You also say that your son and you "hate aspergers" and it seems that that hatred has made you bitter and perhaps has frustrated your son and has not helped him with this "disability". I know raising a child with challenges can be frustrating and cause some to be resentful but I think it would beneficial to you and your son to let go of some of that anger. I wish you and your son well.

Really?

FortForever has had a difficult time recently. I haven't read about many people with children who have reached her son's age; many things changed for them.

It's very hurtful and insensitive for anyone to imply she doesn't love her son, life is very trying for them now.

 

[kandb]

Donna,

Yes, I do think everyone has a right to their opinion, but I was just trying to point out that she seemed very angry as did her son that she was describing. Having alot of anger, cannot be good for her or her son. I did not put her down or say she did not love her son. To be honest, I feel very sorry for her. Maybe a good support group or counseling can help. I wish them the best.

 

[blue65829]

I can't tell you about my asperger's kid, since I don't have kids, but I can tell you about me, as an adult aspie.

I know there are levels, but as someone who's very hf I just want to say that I graduated college, have worked at the same company for 11 years, and I'm a married home-owner. I do not have kids because I don't think I could deal with that.

Over the years I have learned how to manage myself, making sure I sleep enough, exercise, eat in a way that doesn't upset my stomach, that I don't disrupt my routine too much, and I have enough time to pursue my interests, etc. to prevent meltdowns. And when I do meltdown I do it privately.

Of course there are things that I would love to change about myself, but overall I think it's MUCH easier to be an aspie adult than it was to be an aspie kid or teenager. I have so much more control about building my life to make myself comfortable and happy than I did when I was a kid.

 

[PatMcDuck]

I would like to point out that my son is also doing well by these standards. He graduated high school and college with a degree. My son has an extremely high IQ and that is not the problem.

The transition from school to work is where things are not so black and white. Finding a job in their field can be a challenge unless the interviewer is educated about, and accepting of, people with Aspergers. They can come off as strange and it puts people off. It hurts to say this, but I don't make the rules of society. I wish I did.

I agree with some of this. My brother, who I suspect has it (he is over 60 now!) got his masters in library science. And he works with computers. My nephew is majoring in computers. These are fields that work better than others for people with A.

For example, my oldest son sell new cars. This requires a certain set of skills than a person with Aspergers would likely not have. (heck, I could not do it either!)

I have a son with Down Syndrome (and Autism). I know many people with DS kids, that swear they would NOT change them if they could. I never understood that. I would cut off my right arm for my son to not have these things, esp the Autism. He is loving and happy, yes, but he is 23 now. It gets harder, as we parents get older. However the people who swear they would not change their kids, are sincere, so I respect their opinion.

 

[kritter47]

Of course there are things that I would love to change about myself, but overall I think it's MUCH easier to be an aspie adult than it was to be an aspie kid or teenager. I have so much more control about building my life to make myself comfortable and happy than I did when I was a kid.

As an adult with AS myself (and personally, I hate the use of the word "Aspie" - it sounds far too cutesy to me for something that informs my personality every moment of my life, but that's just me), I agree with this to a point. In terms of many of my sensory issues, I have a much easier time now than I used to for a variety of reasons.

But I also disagree to a point. I have a lot harder time connecting socially now than I used to because I do not have as many natural points of contact with other adults who must accept me as part of a group (such as a classmate or a club member). I remain fundamentally stunted socially because my grasp of body language and nuance is poor. And I feel that more now as an adult than I did as a kid.

To the OP - I would absolutely get someone with more training to look at your child at this point. There are far too many kids diagnosed with an ASD at this time, at least IMO, many diagnoses made by absolutely well-meaning people who only want to help. Your child could have an ASD. He could also have something else (a non-verbal learning disorder or SDD). Or he could just be developing at his own rate that will even out over time. Only people with specific education in this area will be able to make out some of these subtle differences. Plus with the (IMO, very necessary) changes to the DSM coming soon, it will be helpful to know where your child will fit in the new world of labels.

To the rest of the thread - I wish every day that I did not have AS. It does not just make me special or a different kind of normal. It makes me profoundly isolated from the rest of society. And I have a very high functioning case - I graduated on time, I have a college degree, I live independently with a cat and a great job, I volunteer and have other activities. But every day of my life I deal with idiotic issues from my brain, whether that's social problems or food-texture problems or body-awareness problems or whatever. I would give almost anything to have a magic pill or therapy that eliminates those, even though I know it would affect other aspects of my personality that I like. The negatives far outweigh the positives, and I always feel vaguely insulted by people on the outside who tell me I shouldn't feel that way.

Now, I do not hate myself. I'm generally pretty happy, all things considered. There's nothing I can do to change my little oddly-assembled brain, so it's not worth angst-ing over. But that can coexist with the fact that I hate having AS and would wipe it from the face of the planet if I could.

I also loathe the terms "neurotypical" and "neurodiverse" because I think those absolutely downplay what I go through on a daily basis. I am not normal (and that's okay!). I am never going to be normal. Pretending I am just another facet of normal is ignoring what the word "normal" means. You can be accepted and happy and all those important things without being normal.

FWIW, I also don't feel society discriminates against me. Society has made rules based on what works for the majority of people, and everyone has their preferences/quirks/intolerances/whatever that have to be manged within that system, not just me. Others also have, for instance, the ability to read social cues hard-wired from birth - it's not discriminating for them to find my inability to read those off-putting or strange. It's just nature. It's my responsibility to ask for an accommodation where I need it, and I've never been turned down for something reasonable (taking my computer into a quiet conference room to work on a loud day in the cubicles, for instance).

I cannot ask people to accept my weird quirks because they are disruptive to those around me if I indulge in them (one of my stims is humming). I cannot ask them to make their lives revolve around my issues (food texture problems - I will not eat a large swath of foods, but I put it on me to pick an appropriate dish or pick the offending food out in the vast majority of cases), For me, having AS has made me a ruthlessly logical person, and that logic dictates that I am in a distinct minority that has to function as part of a society with rules that exist for a reason, even if I don't understand them.

 

[tink2013]

Op here. Thanks for the perspectives. We have our meeting with the school on Wednesday. We have decided not to let them use the autism diagnosis on his Iep until we have him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. I think he does have some aspergers tendencies, but I am not sure they are profound enough to warrant the diagnosis. Thanks, again for your replies.

 

[bookwormde]

Good luck, remember the characeritics impact do not have to be profound to create an educational need. If you are uncomfortable with the ASD classification for the timebeing an OHI classification also works although will not provide as obvious information to the teachers and staff reading it.

 

[emsmith]

I have read this whole thread and am amazed at how everyone of you have your own way of embracing your family member with AS. It helps me to understand my grandson better and to learn what might work for him in certain situations. He was diagnosed at 8 with Tourettes, OCD and mild AS. He sees a neurologist and psychiatrist. We have a wonderful school system that loves him and works with and around him. He has his mother go in at the first of the year and talk to the other children about TS and AS. It makes life easier on him when the other kids know. We are planning a trip to WDW in October and this weighs heavily on my mind. We will have to plan each day accordingly. I thank all of you for the insight you have given me. My heartfelt thanks to all.

 

[bookwormde]

Just for clearity out of the list below the ADD portion of ADHD, is actually part of the EF characteristic of AS and Senory differentials is also a characteritic not a co-morbidity.

• Gastrointestinal disorders
• Sensory problems
• Seizures and epilepsy
• Intellectual disability
• Fragile X syndrome
• ADHD
• Bipolar disorder
• Obsessive compulsive disorder
• Tourette syndrome
• General anxiety disorder
• Tuberous sclerosis
• Clinical depression
• Visual problems.

 

[tink2013]

We had the assessment team meeting today, and it went as well as it could have, with DH and I disagreeing with the Autism diagnosis. The team wanted to give him the AU label so that he could receive special education services (for his reading, writing, handwriting, and possibly social help). We told them that although in our state, school districts are allowed to diagnose autism, we would feel more comfortable with a medical diagnosis, and that we would be contacting a developmental pediatrician to see what he/she says about the diagnosis. The good news is the school psychologist was really interested in getting DS the help he needs, label or not. So, we will make him a 504 plan so that he can receive multisensory reading instruction, as well as participate in the district's new dysgraphia program. He will also start a social skills group with the school counselor. I am proud of my district for wanting to do what's right for my little man, regardless of our agreement/disagreement on what to label his difficulties. We have his ARD next week (he has been in speech, but is actually being dismissed from it ). Once we dismiss him from speech and deny the spec. ed services, we will move directly into a 504 meeting to get him the help he needs. Thanks for all your input. I may be back once we begin this whole process again with the developmental pediatrician.

 

[dmiller64152]

My DS8 has a medical diagnosis of ASD, but does not fit under the school criteria. He is also bipolar.

I haven't read this entire thread but there's a saying ... "If you've met one kid with Asperger's ... you've met one kid with Asperger's." You may have to get a diagnosis to qualify for school services but what's more important is that the school address your son's specific issues. My son has frequent and severe meltdowns. During the school's evaluation phase, they looked at what precipitated them, and it was often simply the necessity of writing. His motor skills are poor and handwriting is beyond frustrating. So as part of his IEP, the school provides him with an aide whenever extensive handwriting is involved, and he has the choice whether to have her write or do it himself (the point of that ... he also hates being told what to do -- possibly more related to the bipolar than the ASD). Also, the school put him in social skills classes where he was required to have conversations on a non-preferred subject and, in the process, he developed an empathy that's rare in ASD kids. Another thing -- he actually uses math to calm himself, so for math class, he gets to join a 5th grade class (he's in 2nd grade) and, if he starts feeling stressed during the day, his teacher will hand him a sheet of math problems to work on.

Point being, regardless of diagnosis, there's not another child in the world that presents as your child does. I hope you're in a great school district that will find his needs and meet them.

 

[MikeOhio]

The posts attacking a mother who simply expressed her views are disgusting and it makes me really question what kind of people you are. This is message board where people are expressing their experiences. There was no personal attacks in her message but yet she has received many personal attacks...disgusting.

Also she is correct that the disease is easier to manage when the person is a child. You can protect them and shelter them. Once they are adults, it is often a cold harsh reality that the outside world will not be as accepting as parents.

 

[FortForever]

Really?

FortForever has had a difficult time recently. I haven't read about many people with children who have reached her son's age; many things changed for them.

It's very hurtful and insensitive for anyone to imply she doesn't love her son, life is very trying for them now.

Thank you.

Donna,

Yes, I do think everyone has a right to their opinion, but I was just trying to point out that she seemed very angry as did her son that she was describing. Having alot of anger, cannot be good for her or her son. I did not put her down or say she did not love her son. To be honest, I feel very sorry for her. Maybe a good support group or counseling can help. I wish them the best.

What you mistook for anger are actually common actions of people with Aspergers. They often push past people, although I don't know why. Even though that is what comes natural to my son, I taught him to follow society's rules. Now that he is an adult, he does his own thing and ignores what I taught him. Am I annoyed? Yep. Do I hate him? NO Am I angry? NO

When he does this stuff (that I consider rude), he is not angry at all. This is where I am confused because the parents here do not seem to understand the most basic things about Aspergers. They do not act like us. Pushing past someone is not an act of anger in their world, it's normalcy.

Not engaging in conversation is not an act of defiance or anger. Once again, it's just Aspergers being Aspergers. I forced society's rules on him as a child. He KNOWS how to behave properly but has no chosen to say, "screw society, I'm doing things my way." Not saying this is good or bad, but I will say that it gets on my nerves.

I also did not teach my son to hate his disability. He's not stupid. He doesn't have to be taught that, he hates it quite easily on his own. He doesn't dwell on it. Neither do I. I am just reflecting on conversations we have had in the past.

Anyone who knows us in real life would never say the rude things the people on this board have. In my opinion, you have to be a bit on the angry side to attack strangers on the internet for sharing their personal feelings. A bit of projection going on, maybe?

My son does not have the help of any agency, social worker, placement counselor, etc. He got through college and got a job on his own. He has bought his own car, pays his own way, is responsible, kind, and caring. He turned out pretty good with Aspergers considering what a hateful, sucky mother I have been accused of being.

BUT, besides all the wonderful things about my son that I love him and am proud of him for, lurks the part that will drive me nuts at times. It's his Aspergers. It's the part of him I was posting about in my original post. I didn't feel all this background was necessary since the OP only wanted to know about life with Aspergers.

I felt I was in a unique position to offer insight into living with a young adult Aspergers son. I am glad he works as much as he does. When he was home, his quirks were worse. Now that he is busy, he has much less time to concentrate on them. I don't think it's terrible to be thankful for the time we have away from each other everyday. It saves both of our sanity.

When reading through all the new posts, I came across one telling me how I should have worded my statement in order to get the sympathy of the group. I wanted to thank you for your concern, but getting the sympathy of anyone was not my goal. My goal was to share my perspective as the parent of a young adult with Aspergers.

My thoughts and experiences do not requiring editing, as they are my own. They do not apply to anyone else. My feelings about Aspergers, the condition, are my own opinion. I stand by that. I have no bad feelings about the people who suffer with the condition.

The posts attacking a mother who simply expressed her views are disgusting and it makes me really question what kind of people you are. This is message board where people are expressing their experiences. There was no personal attacks in her message but yet she has received many personal attacks...disgusting.

Also she is correct that the disease is easier to manage when the person is a child. You can protect them and shelter them. Once they are adults, it is often a cold harsh reality that the outside world will not be as accepting as parents.

Thank you.

 

[SueM in MN]

First - people need to keep in mind that communication over the Internet with just written words is a lot different than in person, face to face.
Words can be perceived much differently than the person who wrote them intended.
With just words, we are missing all the other social cues that come from being able to hear the 'speakers' tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, touch. People are much quicker to take offense to words read on the Internet than if the same words were said to them in person by the same person. One of the reasons is that lack of social cues, but another big reason is that when writing back and forth, there is not the immediate 'give and take' of verbal communication.
And, there is a lot less ability to clarify or validate that what you heard is what the writer meant to say.

From the standpoint of 'hating' a condition ( and, I am using 'condition' to mean pretty much anything that the majority of people don't have. It could be autism, Asperger's, diabetes, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, etc.)

Most conditions have 2 extreme groups - people who are very upfront that they consider their condition (or child's condition) to be a big part of their identity and they would not change it even if they could.
In the other side, are the people who hate the condition, but not the person.

The main thing the 2 groups have in common are that neither understands the viewpoint of the other side, because it is so different than their own. There are a lot of people in the middle or who move from feeling to feeling, depending on the effects of their condition at the time.

Extreme words like "hate" "monster" tend to bring out extreme feelings. There is a man who wrote a story called Schyler's Monster about his family's journey with their daughter who has a brain malformation. Most of the things written here are tame compared to comments I have seen written to him on his blog. Even though he writes about his daughter with great love and understanding, people get stuck on the word "monster" and can't get past their own feelings to see what he has written.

SO, WITH KEEPING ALL THAT IN MIND, PLEASE BE KIND TO IN YOUR COMMENTS TO OTHERS.

I can't speak from personal experience with Asperger's, but I am very familiar with living with autism (my younger brother is on the other end of the spectrum) and I taught self-contained classes for children with autism for six years. There is no real "poster child" for autism. Each person presents with different symptoms, quirks and abilities/impairments. Your son may have Aspergers/high functioning autism, or he may fall just outside the "spectrum" and just be a little quirky. If he is very close to that end of the spectrum, it's feasible that you might not have noticed any problems. Heck, some people aren't diagnosed with Asperger's until they're adults!

School and home are very different. It's natural for us to make accommodations for our kids without even thinking about it. If kids don't like tags in their shirts, we cut them out; if they don't like their foods touching, we get divided plates; if they don't like surprises, we don't surprise them. We say, "Oh, that's just one of his/her things," and we forget about it. Parents start to notice when they have to make *big* changes, lots of changes, or things just don't seem right.

Schools are different. When you've got 20-30 kids in a classroom that all need to keep up with the others and meet the same objectives at the same pace, it's easy to pick out someone who is "different" and may need some intervention. I'm sure you saw it in the classroom yourself, so you probably know what I mean. Don't beat yourself up if the tests show he has Asperger's and you didn't know it. It means he copes really well if you make some small accommodations for him, which is great news!

I would do my best to go into the evaluation process with an open mind. Maybe they'll find he just needs some accommodations for academics and he'll be fine otherwise. Maybe they'll think he needs more. Just remember: it is *not* anything you did/didn't do, and you do *not* have to agree to what they recommend! You can get a second opinion and you can work together to figure out what will help your son most. They do *not* have the right to develop an IEP and expect you to sign off on it. You have the right to speak your mind and disagree with them if you choose to. I really suggest checking out wrightslaw.com; they provide excellent advice on special education law in easy-to-understand terms. Hopefully, it won't come to that and everything will be just fine.

I just have time for a few more words right now.
I have a niece and nephew who both have Asperger's.
The nephew was considered "weird" from a very early age, but was not diagnosed with Asperger's until he got to about 6th grade. He did have other diagnoses, which did not seem to fit totally, but did explain some of his difficulties. He is still struggling to fi displace as a young adult.

My niece was diagnosed with ADD at a pretty young age, but got a diagnosis of Asperger's as an adult. When she was in a Psychology class in college, she took an Asperger's scale and I still remember the comments from friends and relatives when she posted on Facebook that she had pretty much gotten 100% on the scale. My favorite was "And, this surprises you in some way?"
She has a Bachelors and a Masters degree and a very good job that makes use of her skills.

So, 2 people in the same family at very different places.

I am going to move this to the disABILITIES Community Board at this time since it is not about WDW and will fit better there.

 

[jodifla]

To start, I am posting this under a new screen name, to protect my little man while he undergoes a possible Asperger's diagnosis process.

My 8 year old DS is in the process of being assessed by our school district for dyslexia or another learning disability. During the assessment process, the school psychologist noticed some behaviors in him, like a lack of eye contact, and decided to have us fill out an Asperger's scale. She had his teacher fill one out, too. I'm not sure who else was asked to fill one out. The team met yesterday to go over his results, and the school psychologist called me today to set up a meeting to go over the results next week. I've been waiting for several weeks for the Asperger's results, and even longer for the academic results, so I asked her if she could tell me a little bit now. She said that they believe that he does present with Asperger's.

I am a certified teacher (although I stay home now) with a Master's degree in teaching, so I'm a little more aware of Asperger's symptoms than a normal parent would be, although I am in no way an expert.

I know my son is a bit "quirky"-- he's a bit socially awkward, doesn't make friends easily (although he does have one or two good friends), has trouble with eye contact, and talks a lot about his Minecraft video game. Academically: He's had trouble learning to read. He's been in speech therapy since he was 18 months old (first for a lack of words, then for articulation, and now for fluency and grammar). His handwriting is terrible. He reverses letters and numbers and transposes consonant digraphs and s-blends as well as two-digit numbers.

BUT, he has a pretty well-developed sense of humor (he makes jokes all the time, and they are actually funny). He likes a schedule, but does not freak out or stress out if the schedule is changed. His behavior in school is near perfect (they use a color system-- blue, then green, then yellow, then red)-- He is in second grade and has only gotten on green once in kindergarten b/c he forgot to write his name on his paper. He is affectionate with those he knows well. We have not noticed any sort of stemming actions from him.

Anyhow, I'd like to hear from others who have children diagnosed with Asperger's. What is your child like? How severe are the symptoms? Do they interfere with your child's behavior at school? I could be in complete denial, but I think that while DS may have some Asperger's-like tendencies, that they are not pronounced enough to label him with Asperger's. I am probably going to take him to a developmental pediatrician to get a medical opinion about it. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

OP, please be sure to get a second opinion by a developmental pediatrician who is skilled in DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS.

DO NOT trust a school psychologist. I've not met one yet that knew what they are doing! I'm sure there are a few out there, but these school psychs typically have little training in actual diagnosing. And they have NO accountability.

What the school is giving you is just a educational label, NOT a diagnosis.

 

[bookwormde]

I agree a clinical diagnosis is always worthwhile, although on average clinicians are no more competent in this area than school psychologists. Having worked with many families my experience is that when a school psychologist actually makes a call of ASD/Aspergers it is correct in a very high percentage of cases (at least 95+%), when the verification is done by a highly qualified clinical team specializing in ASD/Aspergers.

Good news is that within 2 years we should have a partial but reliable genetic scan available, so it will no longer be a question of if our kids have ASD genetics, but more importantly we can focus on the impact it has on them.

 

[dmiller64152]

My school did a functional evaluation rather than a clinical diagnosis, and made a determination of areas where he needed support. The school did not label my son with anything; in fact, a comprehensive psychological evaluation deemed my son with ASD, but he did not fit the educational standard for being autistic/Aspergers. But it's ironic that I had to get the psychiatric evaluation before the school would grant the iep. Point being, what your child needs from an educational perspective may be vastly different from what he needs in terms of personal skills, counseling and even meds. It is imperative that the parent deal with those issues that are not within the school's purview.