Totally stressed about IEP meeting

[mamaminnie]

I thing DS is failing out of 3rd grade. He's in a mainstream class with Special Ed support. He's mildly autistic and ADHD. I really wanted him in the mainstream as much as possible-- the socialization with "normal" kids has been great for him but he can't keep up.

I think it's time for a special ed private school.

Argh.

 

[Rustysmom]

(((HUGS))) We've been there ourselves. Our DS has PDD with ADHD type symptoms as well and he's in an inclusion class. He went to a special preschool and came out worse than when he went in and I said never again.

First grade was really rough. He did so terrible that they were planning on sending him to a special school again because they said that he would never be able to take the state tests that he would have to take starting in 3rd grade. Since he was born in October I asked if they could keep him back in first grade again to give him another chance to catch up. It was the best thing. He had a better teacher that year and ever since then he's been doing better. He went from feeling like the dumbest kid in class to the smartest because he knew the work the 2nd time and it gave him confidence.

My DS has his own 1-1 para and that's been the key. Does your son have a para or could they give him one? His para redirects him when he goes off to la-la land when they're doing work he thinks is boring like math, and helps explain the work to him so he understands it. If it wasn't for the para, there's no way he would be in inclusion right now.

Unfortunately we also had to give our DS medication. I never wanted to, but I would do anything to keep him in his home school close to home instead of going on a school bus to a special school far away. He started off taking a tiny dose of Risperdal, which helped him calm down a little and stay in his seat (he used to just walk out!), and now he's just on Strattera to address the ADHD symptoms and it's working great.

I hope you find something that will help your DS!

 

[Forevryoung]

I thing DS is failing out of 3rd grade. He's in a mainstream class with Special Ed support. He's mildly autistic and ADHD. I really wanted him in the mainstream as much as possible-- the socialization with "normal" kids has been great for him but he can't keep up.

I think it's time for a special ed private school.

Argh.

Prepare yourself for the IEP meeting by brainstorming WHY he is failing 3rd grade and what the school could do to combat that. I have found through experiences that some schools/teachers are better at integrating kids with unique challenges or needs and some just suck and pretty much "allow" the kids to fail without stepping up to the plate and saying "this isn't working".

In my not yet professional opinion, if your son is failing 3rd grade with an IEP, the school failed him on an appropriate education in the least restrictive environment. If he isn't continuously disrupting the class with behaviors and he isn't a danger to others, there is no reason why he can't be in the "regular" class at least part of the day.

Start looking at schools- you might be surprised that there is a smaller one with an appropriate fit. You even might even go looking at regular private schools and see if they could provide what your son needs...

Your first step is to determine what your son requires (not the "would be nices") to suceed in any education placement. I would go armed with that list and see what his current school says because all those supports could/should have been in place for this year.

Good luck

 

[Michigan]

Go into the meeting knowing what you want in the IEP and don't sign it until you get it.

If you want him to remain in regular ed then request a one on one para for either part of the day or the entire day.

 

[mamaminnie]

Thanks for the replies.

It didn't go as badly as I had anticipated. I really like his "team"-- regular ed teacher, special ed teacher, speech therapist and the program coordinator are on his side.

I think that he is immature on many levels, technically he is PDD-NOS, and maybe repeating 3rd grade wouldn't be so bad for him. Most of his friends are younger than he is. . . I can't see him in 4th grade-- they expect so much from them. . .

Where's the instruction manual

 

[kmjmom]

I am an Elementary level special education teacher. It's sounds as though your son could benefit from a social skills group. Perhaps this is already in place through his speech therapist, but our team works together to provide support and practice for pragmatic language skills for our children on the autism spectrum. One option would be in the form of a structured recess group in which the student and three classmates participate in a fun activity or eat lunch together. Remember that you are an integral part of the team and your opinion matters. If you have concerns regarding your son's degree of inclusion share them and be part of the plan to address them. Good luck!