Oahu and Maui have more nightlife. The Big Island Kauai are more small town feel and close down earlier. It really depends on your lifestyle and interests. We prefer Kauai and the Big Island because they are more laid back and not as crowded feeling. Our favorite places are on these two islands.
I love Punchbowl National Cemetery and would go back to Oahu for that. I'm not sure that there is anything to draw me back to Maui to revisit. Does that mean we would never go back to Maui? No! We would if someone else in our group wanted to go there instead of another island.
Well, you describe pretty much exactly what we are looking for with Kauai and the Big Island. We don't need any night life beyond a 1-3 person entertainer at an evening meal or at a lounge at the resort after our meal. May have to rethink Maui. I see another poster who just said that they prefer Maui to Kauai, but Kauai is 100% on our list. It's our 25th anniversary trip....so we have a good idea what we'd like....quiet, scenery, nice resorts with good restaurants and/or resorts within walking distance for meals. We intend to go out mornings to early-mid afternoon for sightseeing on most days, reserving a few "resort only" days for enjoying resort offerings like spa/pool/beach etc.
I saw a poster say that the scenery of Hawaii is besides the point to him, and that is definitely not the case for us....in the trip that we take to Hawaii, or really anywhere. The scenary/landscape, culture, people, food...etc, is always all wrapped up in one for us during trips we take, but there are definitely trips that lean more heavily on culture, history....etc...and at least for our first trip to the Islands, I know we'll be spending a lot of time outside.
I do think we'll return to Oahu one day for some sightseeing for sure. We've been to Normandy in France twice and so have done lots of touring of that area regarding WWII sights....including the American, British and Germany cemeteries there. We've been to the American WWII cemetery outside of Florence in Italy. So, we're definitely history buffs (my grandfather fought in the European theater in WWII). If we did stay in Oahu, Pearl Harbor and the cemetery will be on the list. It just doesn't quite feel like that kind of trip. Thanks so much for your comments.