Weird wedding etiquette question

[Robin]

A good friend of mine was married in September of last year... I gave the bride and groom a giftcard for $100 for a wedding present. Today in the mail I got a $100 check from the bride with an letter saying that they have seperated and are going to divorce... she is returning all gifts received from the wedding.

I don't know what to do... I'm thinking of returning the check to her and wishing her well. The check was written from their joint account... so I could cash the check and then send her a giftcard to somewhere special for $100. The groom was unfaithful and I thought this might cheer her up some.

What would you do in this circumstance?

 

[Pam]

I think that is very sweet of you, Robin. I also must commend the bride for obviously being a classy woman - this is the first I've ever heard of someone returning the gifts because they are divorcing so soon.

 

[Blueberry]

I would not send the check back as it is written on their joint account and he might get ahold of it for his use. I suggest you follow your heart and if you think a $100 gift card to somewhere will make her feel better go for it. If you know she needs things to set up a house of her own, give her a gift card to somewhere she can get house things is my suggestion. Otherwise give her a card to her favorite store....You are a good friend to think of doing this..

 

[helenabear]

I probably would do just as you are thinking of. Maybe get her a gc to a spa or something where she can papmer herself and relieve stress. I am sure she would appreciate that. That's sad that the marriage broke up so quickly and that he was unfaithful too

 

[Luckymommyx2]

Robin, your friend is lucky she has you! I think that would be a great idea to cash the check then give her a giftcard for somewhere else. May I suggest a nice spa that could give her an hour long massage? Or maybe it would be a good time to just take her to the spa for a girl's day.

 

[cinlee3]

I also have to commend the bride for returning the gifts. I think it is a very nice gesture for you to send her a gift card to some place you know she would really like along with a card stating why you want her to have it. You are a good friend.

 

[Kallison]

That is a sweet idea -- your friend certainly does have a lot of class. I bet the groom isn't returning anything.

 

[janette]

Maybe use it for a night out for the 2 of you. Do something you know she'll enjoy and have a great time.

 

[WebmasterKathy]

What Janette said!

Why don't you invite her out for a really nice dinner. She might appreciate a fun, supportive friend more than you can imagine right now!

 

[dsneygirl]

I agree that woman has a lot of class. Maybe you could consider donating it to her favourite charity.

 

[SonjaB]

Robin, you and your friend are a couple of class acts.

I think the gift card is a splendid idea and there's no chance of her ex getting hold of it.

 

[bfeller]

I would go with your instincts.

 

[doxdogy]

Ditto to what everyone else said.

 

[disfanatiks]

That really showed a lot of class on her part. It is proper to return the gifts if you are married less than one year.

How sad for her.

You are special to think of her.

 

[CourtasanSatine]

Add another ditto to what everyone has added

 

[Michelle]

That's very nice of you Robin.

I was engaged to someone prior to marrying my DH and that wedding was called of two weeks before the date. I immediately returned all the gifts and checks but some folks did say to keep the gifts, which was incredibly nice of them, and their kindness helped ease the pain of the situation at the time.

I'm sure the bride is in a lot of pain right now and it's very thoughtful of you to want to help. I like the idea of cashing her check and sending her a gift card for her personal use.

 

[Serena]

I agree with everyone else, you are a great friend with a wonderful idea.

 

[dixiegirl]

I think that any of the above ideas are wonderful. I feel so badly for her - can you imagine??? Poor thing.

 

[Robin]

I have decided to cash the check and get her a $50 to Bath and Body Works.. and $50 to a restaurant.

The groom is already engaged again... but this time it will be a shotgun wedding, the new bride is pregnant. I am friends with them both but don't think I will be going to the second wedding.

Thanks everyone!