That is a much more common situation than I could have ever imagined. I became aware of that the last year of my mom's life when she was in the hospital, a rehab center and then a Residential Care Facility. I was fortunate enough to be able to spend time with her almost every day that last year. The staff at the hospital, rehab center and Care Facility all commented how rare it was for a family member to be close enough to able to do that. And they noted how many of their patients had no family left. One lady at the Care Facility was 98, and had Alzheimer’s. The owner of the Care Facility said both that lady's children had already died of old age.I'm the last one and my family will no longer exist after I die.
I so relate to this! One time my family met my parents and my sister in Hawaii and we stopped at the Costco on the way from the airport to the rental. They were all wandering around as if the Costco was the neatest thing they'd ever seen (we all have them back home) and no one was making decisions. I finally got mad because I was the only one traveling with kids and said I make three meals a day every day in my real life but we're in HAWAII (!!) so for now I was grabbing some easy stuff to feed the kids and heading to rental (they had a separate rental car but we were all staying in the same house) and they could either eat with us or not, but I wasn't wasting more of my vacation at Costco trying to guess what they might want to eat. At that point did see my point that it'd be nice to actually see Hawaii and they and started choosing some things too. None of them had given it any thought and hadn't wanted to discuss it because "we'd just stop at Costco."I dislike it when my family sits around “talking” about doing something instead of just PLANNING to do something.
My adult daughter can talk about where to go eat lunch for 2 hrs and then it is only a couple of hrs away from dinner.
Just pick something and let’s goooooooo.
My brothers and mom are the same when I visit.
I like the Nike slogan: Just Do It!
Literally no one in my family is capable of planning anything except me. When a birthday or holiday comes around, everyone asks me what we're doing, what time, where we're going, etc. The one time I left the planning to my sister, nothing got nailed down and everyone was left hanging. Then it landed back in my lap to figure out. When I tell everyone that I'm tired of making all the plans and I'd just like to be told where to show up once in a while, they all balk. "But you're so good at making plans! You have to do it! No one else does it like you do!" Ugh.
The narcissism that my Mother has is my single biggest pet peeve. She treats strangers or friends better than she treats her own family. Expects everyone to kiss the ground she walks on.
After 5o years of this, I finally took my husbands advice and said No more. I’m polite when I have to see her at a famil;y event, etc. but that’s all. No more bending over backwards, no more door mat.
I feel bad for this, but it is what it is and I’ve come to accept it.