Hi Everyone,
After reading so many heart wrenching stories, I really feel petty writing this. I feel I need to somewhere though, please realize I sit here with tears over the struggles some of you face.
I just need to put in words the last 2 years of my life.
My dh & I have triplet teens & a toddler. - I must say all surprise miracles. I never forget that.
Just about 2 years ago dh was released from his IT job as they were "outsourcing" overseas. He had never had even a mediocre review in 23 years. He had outstanding letters written on a somewhat regular basis by his "users" (equivalent to customers).
He knew what he wanted in high school. He wanted to be a computer programmer for "the phone company". He was going to college for computer programming:when he got the opportunity to start with the phone company as a directory asst. operator, but the hr person stated he had to have in writing that dh was no longer enrolled in college as this position called for all hours of work. My husband and I were at this time engaged to be married. He quit college. He worked directory asst. for a few years. Low man on the totem pole when we got married he got split shifts,weekends, third shift, etc. He would volunteer to work Christmas, Easter, Halloween, anythng he considered was a holiday that kids should have their parents around for. We didn't have any yet. Finally, his break came, he was accepted into a programming class the phone company offered. He passed with flying colors and you "grown up life began." We both worked the same shift, the first time since we had been married 4years previously. We tried to have children. Finally after 8 years we had our first pregnancey (after a failed adoption. We had the baby for 1 night,had legal paperwork written up, but the biological mother had a few days to change her mind and did). We had 3 healthy,(against the odds at the time) babies. We struggled financially, as I was put on bed rest very early and went from apprx 55hrs a wk to 16 hrs (I was very fortunate to have the boss I had who allowed me to do a small bit of work while on bed rest). Time went on we bought a house. Life was going well. We had a little savings for the triplets for college. They were old enough now to be left alone after they got out of school for an hour or so. I was almost back to full time hours now.(i had been working part time all along). Then at 40 yrs old with 12 year old triplets I was pregnant! Surprise miracle #2/or #4 depending on how you look at it.
Then when my baby was 1 mnth old my Grandmother, fell and ended up in a nursing home. My Grandmother, was so much more than that to me. She was another mother, a confident, a moral role model, a shopping buddy, a friend. My best friend other than my husband. I had promised her I would take care of her before I would let her go into a nursing home. I still cry at the fact I wasn't able to care for a 1mnth old, triplet 12 year olds and my Gram. She would understand, she always did.
I start to notice my mother getting forgetful. And my father in law ends in the hospital with what ends up as numreous heart attatcks one right after another, happening so quickly the doctors had a difficult time diagnosing him. He comes home,but his mind is never the same.
My husband loses his job when my baby is 3years old. Now this brings us to the past 2 years...
Husband loses job,
my father has heart problems my brother & i have to fly from boston to fla on a moments notice. But Dad does well, with all 4 stents he ends up having put in.
Baby is suspected to have osteo osteoma. Thankfully, tests are negative, but she still has pain on occasion.
Husband still has no job. Health insurance is about to run out. I find a job, with great health insurance, but the job takes away every bit of self esteem I have. I hate the new job so much I get sick almost everyday before I go. I miss my baby. After a year, I am happy to say the job is better now.
My mother in law is forced to put my father in law in a nursing home. She is heart broken, her only love. He no longer remembers most of his children.
My Grandmother dies. I said goodbye. She doesn't have a funeral of her faith, because I am the only one who is that faith & I cann't afford to pay for it. She & I had made plans to make her final arrangements serveral times, but she would always cancel. I understood. She was old & she wanted to , but didn't want at the same time.
I am now working a full time job & about 15 hrs part time job.
DH is working 2 part time jobs and becoming very depressed.
My mother is suffering from depression.
My teenage daughter has some type of gastro problem. Tests at some of the best hospitals in boston are done on her. Turns out it is some type of "virus" that can take 6months to leave her system. Happy to say 25lbs later, but she hasn't vomitted in 3mnths.
Oh, did I forget to mention, they thought I had leukemia. Again, happy to say I do not. I do however have a blood disease (ET). Also, suffer from migraines.
A longtime friend of mine died of an anerysm, left to college age daughters.
Oh, and got hired from a temp to a permanant employee in December. In February I got vertigo and used all my sick time in one sweep. Hospitalized for 3 days. Put on warning within 3 months of becoming permanant. Some change from going 3 years at my old job never missing a day.
Had a root canal 1 1/2 yr ago. slight pain continued. I had never had a root canal, figured it might be normal, or sinus problem. Turns out last friday I needed more endodontal work. Cleaned bacteria off of my bone by taking piece of my bone out.
In the midst of all this, the regular every day financial disasters happened. Both cars broke down ranging from $150 - $600 repair, washing machine, dryer,diswasher, stove (gas leak in the house and all),ceiling fan,carpet cleaner, daughter had fener bender the first month she got her license.
Husband had 5 great opportunities at the same company. Three he was very, very qualified for. He had 3 people in the company who were putting in a good word for him, the company put a hiring freeze on.
Now my wonderful mother in law has breast cancer & they found lumps under her arm in the lympnodes.
My mother has alzheimers.
My father's heart doctor is sending him for more tests as he doesn't like the sound of his breathing.
Thank you for being here for me to vent. Writing this I re-realized how fortunate we are. My daughters are healthy even after the scares. The car accident was only a fender bender, no one was hurt. We still have our house. Maybe not any heat or electricity soon, but thank God for the generosity of others. We have good friends. I feel bad for my teenagers. This is not the life they are used to. Not that they ever shopped at high name stores. Mostly target,walmart,american eagle was about as high name as they got. The never complained. They still don't. They all have jobs, pay their share of the car insurance,buy their own lunch at school if they don't want to bring a sandwich, and pay $25 rent a week.(that we were hoping would be able to be saved toward their college, but all of the money we had saved for that is now gone to the mortgage. I have great kids. They even paid for the family to go to Disney in June. We had a few days left over from other years. We had dvc points. The teens paid for the airfare. We collected cans & used that money for food. We were even able to splurge and eat at Liberty Tree Tavern once while there. They still mange to stay either on or very close to the honor roll, work, do drama,spanish club, student government, a radio show,color guard, plus take turns babysitting their little sister so dh & I can work extra hours when available.
We are struggling, but I am working Saturdays at my part time job, just to hold on to our dvc membership. That is my pixie dust. We are planning on letting the teenagers bring 1 friend each & stay in a grand villa as their graduation present from us this year. They deserve so much more. They will benefit from this in some way. We all will. God has a plan. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Thank you even if noone reads this (I somewhat hope noone does, as I feel so foolish & whiney complaining when my health & that of my children is so well.). This has helped me. I always remember my disboard friends that suffer physically, mentally, emotionally.
I'm not even going back to read this, as I will probably loath myself for whining like this, but honestly, it has helped me. Thank you all for your tolerance.
After reading so many heart wrenching stories, I really feel petty writing this. I feel I need to somewhere though, please realize I sit here with tears over the struggles some of you face.
I just need to put in words the last 2 years of my life.
My dh & I have triplet teens & a toddler. - I must say all surprise miracles. I never forget that.
Just about 2 years ago dh was released from his IT job as they were "outsourcing" overseas. He had never had even a mediocre review in 23 years. He had outstanding letters written on a somewhat regular basis by his "users" (equivalent to customers).
He knew what he wanted in high school. He wanted to be a computer programmer for "the phone company". He was going to college for computer programming:when he got the opportunity to start with the phone company as a directory asst. operator, but the hr person stated he had to have in writing that dh was no longer enrolled in college as this position called for all hours of work. My husband and I were at this time engaged to be married. He quit college. He worked directory asst. for a few years. Low man on the totem pole when we got married he got split shifts,weekends, third shift, etc. He would volunteer to work Christmas, Easter, Halloween, anythng he considered was a holiday that kids should have their parents around for. We didn't have any yet. Finally, his break came, he was accepted into a programming class the phone company offered. He passed with flying colors and you "grown up life began." We both worked the same shift, the first time since we had been married 4years previously. We tried to have children. Finally after 8 years we had our first pregnancey (after a failed adoption. We had the baby for 1 night,had legal paperwork written up, but the biological mother had a few days to change her mind and did). We had 3 healthy,(against the odds at the time) babies. We struggled financially, as I was put on bed rest very early and went from apprx 55hrs a wk to 16 hrs (I was very fortunate to have the boss I had who allowed me to do a small bit of work while on bed rest). Time went on we bought a house. Life was going well. We had a little savings for the triplets for college. They were old enough now to be left alone after they got out of school for an hour or so. I was almost back to full time hours now.(i had been working part time all along). Then at 40 yrs old with 12 year old triplets I was pregnant! Surprise miracle #2/or #4 depending on how you look at it.
Then when my baby was 1 mnth old my Grandmother, fell and ended up in a nursing home. My Grandmother, was so much more than that to me. She was another mother, a confident, a moral role model, a shopping buddy, a friend. My best friend other than my husband. I had promised her I would take care of her before I would let her go into a nursing home. I still cry at the fact I wasn't able to care for a 1mnth old, triplet 12 year olds and my Gram. She would understand, she always did.
I start to notice my mother getting forgetful. And my father in law ends in the hospital with what ends up as numreous heart attatcks one right after another, happening so quickly the doctors had a difficult time diagnosing him. He comes home,but his mind is never the same.
My husband loses his job when my baby is 3years old. Now this brings us to the past 2 years...
Husband loses job,
my father has heart problems my brother & i have to fly from boston to fla on a moments notice. But Dad does well, with all 4 stents he ends up having put in.
Baby is suspected to have osteo osteoma. Thankfully, tests are negative, but she still has pain on occasion.
Husband still has no job. Health insurance is about to run out. I find a job, with great health insurance, but the job takes away every bit of self esteem I have. I hate the new job so much I get sick almost everyday before I go. I miss my baby. After a year, I am happy to say the job is better now.
My mother in law is forced to put my father in law in a nursing home. She is heart broken, her only love. He no longer remembers most of his children.
My Grandmother dies. I said goodbye. She doesn't have a funeral of her faith, because I am the only one who is that faith & I cann't afford to pay for it. She & I had made plans to make her final arrangements serveral times, but she would always cancel. I understood. She was old & she wanted to , but didn't want at the same time.
I am now working a full time job & about 15 hrs part time job.
DH is working 2 part time jobs and becoming very depressed.
My mother is suffering from depression.
My teenage daughter has some type of gastro problem. Tests at some of the best hospitals in boston are done on her. Turns out it is some type of "virus" that can take 6months to leave her system. Happy to say 25lbs later, but she hasn't vomitted in 3mnths.
Oh, did I forget to mention, they thought I had leukemia. Again, happy to say I do not. I do however have a blood disease (ET). Also, suffer from migraines.
A longtime friend of mine died of an anerysm, left to college age daughters.
Oh, and got hired from a temp to a permanant employee in December. In February I got vertigo and used all my sick time in one sweep. Hospitalized for 3 days. Put on warning within 3 months of becoming permanant. Some change from going 3 years at my old job never missing a day.
Had a root canal 1 1/2 yr ago. slight pain continued. I had never had a root canal, figured it might be normal, or sinus problem. Turns out last friday I needed more endodontal work. Cleaned bacteria off of my bone by taking piece of my bone out.
In the midst of all this, the regular every day financial disasters happened. Both cars broke down ranging from $150 - $600 repair, washing machine, dryer,diswasher, stove (gas leak in the house and all),ceiling fan,carpet cleaner, daughter had fener bender the first month she got her license.
Husband had 5 great opportunities at the same company. Three he was very, very qualified for. He had 3 people in the company who were putting in a good word for him, the company put a hiring freeze on.
Now my wonderful mother in law has breast cancer & they found lumps under her arm in the lympnodes.
My mother has alzheimers.
My father's heart doctor is sending him for more tests as he doesn't like the sound of his breathing.
Thank you for being here for me to vent. Writing this I re-realized how fortunate we are. My daughters are healthy even after the scares. The car accident was only a fender bender, no one was hurt. We still have our house. Maybe not any heat or electricity soon, but thank God for the generosity of others. We have good friends. I feel bad for my teenagers. This is not the life they are used to. Not that they ever shopped at high name stores. Mostly target,walmart,american eagle was about as high name as they got. The never complained. They still don't. They all have jobs, pay their share of the car insurance,buy their own lunch at school if they don't want to bring a sandwich, and pay $25 rent a week.(that we were hoping would be able to be saved toward their college, but all of the money we had saved for that is now gone to the mortgage. I have great kids. They even paid for the family to go to Disney in June. We had a few days left over from other years. We had dvc points. The teens paid for the airfare. We collected cans & used that money for food. We were even able to splurge and eat at Liberty Tree Tavern once while there. They still mange to stay either on or very close to the honor roll, work, do drama,spanish club, student government, a radio show,color guard, plus take turns babysitting their little sister so dh & I can work extra hours when available.
We are struggling, but I am working Saturdays at my part time job, just to hold on to our dvc membership. That is my pixie dust. We are planning on letting the teenagers bring 1 friend each & stay in a grand villa as their graduation present from us this year. They deserve so much more. They will benefit from this in some way. We all will. God has a plan. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Thank you even if noone reads this (I somewhat hope noone does, as I feel so foolish & whiney complaining when my health & that of my children is so well.). This has helped me. I always remember my disboard friends that suffer physically, mentally, emotionally.
I'm not even going back to read this, as I will probably loath myself for whining like this, but honestly, it has helped me. Thank you all for your tolerance.
