eandesmom
I'm with Beast
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2009
I think it's the therapist in me that's able to moderately separate the behavior and the person. Its fairly easy for me to tell where someone is fractured. Parent= bad choices, bad men, etc.... It doesn't justify it but it does lend insight. She's trying, overcompensating, the lack of boundaries are about spoiling or making up for things. It doesn't make sense I'm sure as you don't do that but I see it every single day. Without empathy, I couldn't be a therapist.
I can empathize with that. Understandable I guess doesn't necessarily equal likable for me but I do get what you mean. I see this with my ex MIL and my current MIL and I guess I can like them as a person while totally disliking some of the choices they make (enabling).
From what we could tell and what we were told, she stole the KTTW card. The parent and AC were not in the same room. Like I said, I don't think the parent was trying to be a bad parent, she saw her child hammered again, and didn't know what to do. I am speculating as to why she told. The parent didn't tell us that. Very time Pam and I talk about this we say the same thing: we hope the tween gets OUT!
Ok so in that light, honestly, it makes me like her more. It's an intervention of sorts. Admittedly probably not remotely effective as they never are but at least it's not enabling. I just wish she wouldn't ditch the tween while trying to rescue someone who ultimately has to rescue themself.
Yes there were parents there and older siblings so it was really the older sibling's party so to say. If someone had even a sip, they turned their keys in. The party was only about 20 people. We are pretty real when it comes to what these kids are faced with, same things we were faced with, and what is age appropriate as fas as experimentation. Utah is a funny funny place. Even Gabby will tell you, kids here can't just have a drink or two, they have to get snot slinging drunk or be chanting bible verses; there isn't a medium here, not a lot of moderation taught here. Alcohol is seen as totally prohibited even for adults so the mystery placed around it just makes these kids want to drink. Same goes for dating. You either date/sleep with anyone and everyone, no one ever because you are terrified, or promise to get married at 18. The logic is totally counterproductive. The few friends Gab has, who's folks have the same *rules* we do, also don't drink. The ones who can call their folks for a ride etc....Its such a strange dynamic. I don't claim to know it all or even half but human nature is human nature and if we don't talk to our kids, they will find out some how. We have also sat down with Gab and her fella regarding this issue and he also knows where we stand. This teen/young adult thing is a crap shoot and so far they all three seem to be doing okay. No subject is off limits and they know that. I'm sure they'll need therapy for something we've messed up on though.
Well I guess I am glad someone was collecting keys but definitely not thrilled that it was offered so openly to underage kids. WTG Gabby all around though.