Am I justified in thinking this is ridiculous, or am I the ridiculous one

[Moliphino]

My apologies then, I am confused about your family tree.

I stand by the rest of my comment. Being so ticked off by someone having a party is just gonna make you the judgy aunt/uncle. There is no point to it. And if your brother is indeed gift grabbing then that's a him problem.

Nephew is OP's brother's son. They invited OP's husband's parents, who are no relation to them.

 

[sheilafri]

honestly they're probably spending a good amount just to throw the get together.

Agree. Sometimes you need an excuse to get people to get together. I’m sure they’re very proud of their son, too, and just want to celebrate that. Some people like to organize parties others don’t (raises hand). Go if you feel like seeing these people and/or celebrating your nephew’s achievement. Don’t go if you don’t feel like it.

 

[Allison]

Thanks. I’m not ticked off. I totally expected we’d have a family dinner where gifts would be expected. What I think is ridiculous is a big party for over 50 people, some of which aren’t much more than acquaintances, when we just did this 2 years ago when he graduated college.

Just because they do things differently than how you would do them doesn't make it ridiculous. It just means you don't like it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I remember my parents throwing a party at their house when I graduated HS. When I graduated college, we had dinner with family who had come in from out of town.

Same where I grew up - big party for high school, family dinner for college.

 

[TippyThomas]

Any chance for a get together that isn't a funeral is a bonus to me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think a master's degree is more of an accomplishment that graduating from high school or getting a bachelor's degree. Definitely something to celebrate.

My oldest got her one year masters in accounting because she needed an extra 30 credits to take the cpa exams, it was truly no big deal. She took a lot of credits each semester so she graduated with her undergrad class with her masters. When my husband got his mba from nyu he didn’t even attend the ceremony. Everyone in our family has at least an undergraduate degree if not more, it’s the expectation. There was a party when my cousin finally graduated from medical school (took longer than he hoped).

 

[amylevan]

It could be worse. You could have been invited to an 8th graduation party.

I have an 8th grader right now. 8th grade graduation was canceled during COVID in my district and not brought back. Some of my fellow parents were livid and went to the school board where they found out that they had wanted to get rid of 8th grade graduation for a while now and COVID gave them the excuse. It’s not coming back. My DS doesn’t care, I don’t care (it’s 8th grade!!) but there are some very unhappy parents. We are a small district where the kids are in school together from K to 12th, they literally just move to the high school building. It’s not a big deal. But some of these parents…

 

[GreatLakes]

In the scenario in the OP where a kid goes from High School to college and straight through to an MBA I think three parties is a bit silly. I don't recall a single undergraduate "party" that was anything more than meeting up at a bar and grabbing a celebratory drink.

I've been to some MBA graduation parties for my adult friends that went back and got it years later (mostly in their 30s and 40s) but no parents were involved in throwing those.

Regardless, if it was a family member I liked I'd go and bring a small gift.

 

[jrmasm]

I have an 8th grader right now. 8th grade graduation was canceled during COVID in my district and not brought back. Some of my fellow parents were livid and went to the school board where they found out that they had wanted to get rid of 8th grade graduation for a while now and COVID gave them the excuse. It’s not coming back. My DS doesn’t care, I don’t care (it’s 8th grade!!) but there are some very unhappy parents. We are a small district where the kids are in school together from K to 12th, they literally just move to the high school building. It’s not a big deal. But some of these parents…

Oh boy!

 

[soccerdad72]

I wouldn't go so far as say it's 'ridiculous'. It's somewhat unusual (at least in my experience) to do a large party for graduate school graduation, but to each their own.

 

[sam_gordon]

I have an 8th grader right now. 8th grade graduation was canceled during COVID in my district and not brought back. Some of my fellow parents were livid and went to the school board where they found out that they had wanted to get rid of 8th grade graduation for a while now and COVID gave them the excuse. It’s not coming back. My DS doesn’t care, I don’t care (it’s 8th grade!!) but there are some very unhappy parents. We are a small district where the kids are in school together from K to 12th, they literally just move to the high school building. It’s not a big deal. But some of these parents…

Personally, I don't see a problem with Kindergarten, Elementary, or Middle School graduations. Should they be "required"? No. But if a school/family wants to celebrate, what's wrong with it?

"Well, it's just another year, and it's expected that kids will move on, what's to celebrate?" To that I say... did you throw your kids birthday parties for getting older by a year? Why? Isn't THAT expected?

 

[soccerdad72]

The school my kids went to for K-8 always did a big graduation with cap and gown, etc. But it was a little different, since their students were going from there on to many different high schools, so it was truly the last time the whole class was together, similar to HS.

 

[BrianL]

Any chance for a get together that isn't a funeral is a bonus to me.

I prefer to think of my funeral as a graduation from life - can I get gifts for that too?

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

Hard to say, because, is it really just a reason to have a party with friends and family? Were other get-togethers cancelled because of covid? Is there a mention of "gift" in the invite?

Personally, I don't think having a party for post HS is something I would do. My son will receive his Masters degree next year and there will be no party. No party for BA/BS either. On the other hand, we did throw a big party 6 years ago when he came home from China ( teaching English) because he hadn't been home in quite awhile and the time was right!

 

[_19disnA]

Some people like to throw parties for their relatives for any number of reasons. There is no requirement you attend and perhaps you have other plans for that day or might be away on vacation.

 

[RamblingMad]

Don’t go.

I never go to birthday parties or graduation parties. I don’t want to have to pay for all those gifts in exchange for mediocre food.

 

[leahgoogle]

Around here people go all out for High School Open Houses, but we have not run into anybody throwing a party for a bachelor's degree college graduation let alone a master's graduation. I would probably do what you are doing and celebrate the success with a card/gift while rolling my eyes....lol. I do think it is kind of ridiculous though.

 

[GAN]

Thanks everyone for your input - sounds like the consensus is that I am the one being ridiculous. I guess I'm letting the jealousy of my Master's degree being ignored keep me from being excited about this party.

I don't think you're ridiculous at all. But I also think it's perfectly fine to celebrate the Masters Degree. It's not my thing as I'm not the type to celebrate my accomplishments with a lot of fanfare, like a party by invitation. I much rather celebrate, as with my daughters when they earned them, with a dinner including us and our parents -it's more personal in my opinion.

 

[mousefan73]

People here never hesitate to give their honest opinion about things, so I want to see what you all think.

My nephew is 23 and just finished a Master's Program. He went straight to the Master's Program when he finished his Bachelors 2 years ago. His actual graduation was last week, but in a couple weeks, my Brother and SIL are throwing a huge graduation party for him at my parent's house. We had a huge graduation party when he graduated high school and then another when he graduated college. I think this huge party for finishing a Master's Program is ridiculous and just a gift grab. Never in my entire life, have I been invited to a party for getting a Master's before. When I got my Master's degree about 15 years ago, no one did anything.

Whose being ridiculous here? My brother for having this huge party or me for thinking it's just a gift grab? I'm sure part of me is jealous that no one acknowledged my Master's degree, but then again, I didn't really expect anything.

**Edited to add - I am planning to go to the party and will give him a card with money.

You are not alone! I think things have gotten ridiculous the past few years across the whole board- whether it parties, professional photoshoots, etc... Our Son is graduating this year german high school and nobody does anything. maybe household family, god parent and grandparents go out to dinner and the kid gets a card with cash that is it.. Never heard of college Graduation parties here. Like a real party. I would guess parents and kid might go out to dinner. but that is it.

Especially for a Masters.. now on the otherhand... It is custom to simply give cash for accomplishments here even without a party IF you are immediate family. But more a gesture. I can see my son's Aunt slipping him a 50 when he graduates and there is no party.

 

[disneyseniors]

People here never hesitate to give their honest opinion about things, so I want to see what you all think.

My nephew is 23 and just finished a Master's Program. He went straight to the Master's Program when he finished his Bachelors 2 years ago. His actual graduation was last week, but in a couple weeks, my Brother and SIL are throwing a huge graduation party for him at my parent's house. We had a huge graduation party when he graduated high school and then another when he graduated college. I think this huge party for finishing a Master's Program is ridiculous and just a gift grab. Never in my entire life, have I been invited to a party for getting a Master's before. When I got my Master's degree about 15 years ago, no one did anything.

Whose being ridiculous here? My brother for having this huge party or me for thinking it's just a gift grab? I'm sure part of me is jealous that no one acknowledged my Master's degree, but then again, I didn't really expect anything.

**Edited to add - I am planning to go to the party and will give him a card with money.

I would think it's "a little much" too with all the previous parties.
I have never heard of having that many parties for each graduation.
That can get really expensive for the family and friends too.
So, I agree with you completely.
My daughter is planning a grad party for my granddaughter from high school. That is the tradition around here. I have never heard of parties for college or a Masters degree though. I just congratulate anyone who has another higher degree because it is a great accomplishment.