Am I justified in thinking this is ridiculous, or am I the ridiculous one

[HopperFan]

Aunts would work just fine. You could mention unmarried and childfree if relevant to the discussion which in this context I understand why it was. I just found your choice of words....quite interesting.

Yes, spinster is officially considered a derogatory term. I have several family members who didn't get married for various reasons, have no children of their own but it would never occur to me to use that term.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

People here never hesitate to give their honest opinion about things, so I want to see what you all think.

My nephew is 23 and just finished a Master's Program. He went straight to the Master's Program when he finished his Bachelors 2 years ago. His actual graduation was last week, but in a couple weeks, my Brother and SIL are throwing a huge graduation party for him at my parent's house. We had a huge graduation party when he graduated high school and then another when he graduated college. I think this huge party for finishing a Master's Program is ridiculous and just a gift grab. Never in my entire life, have I been invited to a party for getting a Master's before. When I got my Master's degree about 15 years ago, no one did anything.

Whose being ridiculous here? My brother for having this huge party or me for thinking it's just a gift grab? I'm sure part of me is jealous that no one acknowledged my Master's degree, but then again, I didn't really expect anything.

**Edited to add - I am planning to go to the party and will give him a card with money.

I can't say whether your being ridiculous or not.

I can only give my experience. My mother started college (yes started) when my father got sick and we were young. She continued after my father died. She raised 3 young children and worked full time while going to college. It took her 10 years, but she got her Bachelor's degree. She applied for the Master's program, but was too far down the list to be accepted. Until about a month before school started after summer break, and she was notified she'd been accepted. It took her 5 years to get her Master's. All the time still working full time and raising 3 very active teenagers.

We celebrated. Rented a limo to take us to the graduation ceremony and to a fancy restaurant for dinner afterwards. Had a modest party (I think about 10-15 people)with friends that weekend.

But I can understand that some people might not have a full on party.

It's entirely up to the people involved whether they want a big celebration, or no celebration at all.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

Yes, spinster is officially considered a derogatory term. I have several family members who didn't get married for various reasons, have no children of their own but it would never occur to me to use that term.

Where can I find a list of "officially" derogatory terms? I was unaware that was something that was considered official.

 

[HopperFan]

Where can I find a list of "officially" derogatory terms? I was unaware that was something that was considered official.

It was on one of the dictionary websites with the definition of the word. Interesting for sure.

 

[TikiRob]

My daughter is graduating HS next week and she chose a trip to Disney World with her best friend (thanks, DVC!) over a party. My younger daughter will have the same option. We've never been a family that was big into hosting parties for anything. If and when they graduate from college, we'll go out to dinner (on them!).

 

[darnheather]

I am not aware of anyone in my family throwing a Graduation Party for any Graduation. We went out to lunch after my daughter's College graduation ceremony, but no party.
Graduations are out of hand IMHO. Kindergarten, 6th Grade and 8th Grade graduation? A bit much.

This isn't close to any of those. I agree with you that those are ridiculous, but a master's degree is hard work and something few people accomplish. Maybe I'm just a little bitter as I didn't get anything with my bachelor's or master's and doubt I'll get as much as a howdy do with my doctorate. But you bet I'd be throwing a parade for my kids.

 

[tvguy]

This isn't close to any of those. I agree with you that those are ridiculous, but a master's degree is hard work and something few people accomplish. Maybe I'm just a little bitter as I didn't get anything with my bachelor's or master's and doubt I'll get as much as a howdy do with my doctorate. But you bet I'd be throwing a parade for my kids.

Struck a nerve with me as my 32 year old daughter is in Germany right now visiting University campuses as she considers a career change and getting her Masters. Why Germany? Mostly because she wants to live there. But University is free there and German Universities are HEAVILY recruiting American students for their Masters programs. Some of the Universities have a package deal. 2 year program, $24,000 total for the room and board, no tuition, everything but incidentals included.
However, as 60 Minutes reported earlier this year, some major U.S. corporations are eliminating the requirement for their employees to have ANY College degree because they have found the character of the individual hired is more important than their education.

 

[White Cat]

My thought is that you are being overly sensitive.

 

[Minnesota!]

Would I do it? No. I would probably treat my kid to a meal of their choice.

Do I begrudge someone who DOES do it? No - not unless they are expecting me to foot some kind of bill or expect I give a gift. If I give a gift, I want it to be because I want to, not because THEY want me to.

 

[shh]

I have an 8th grader right now. 8th grade graduation was canceled during COVID in my district and not brought back. Some of my fellow parents were livid and went to the school board where they found out that they had wanted to get rid of 8th grade graduation for a while now and COVID gave them the excuse. It’s not coming back. My DS doesn’t care, I don’t care (it’s 8th grade!!) but there are some very unhappy parents. We are a small district where the kids are in school together from K to 12th, they literally just move to the high school building. It’s not a big deal. But some of these parents…

No offense intended to parents who celebrate them, but I will never understand the concept of a 6th grade or 8th grade graduation. Yes I am old, I guess. It just feels like an extension of the "everyone must get a trophy" philosophy to treat ordinary academic progression as some huge milestone accomplishment.

Neither is remotely close to the significance of HS or college graduation. To feature all the pageantry of caps, gowns and stage ceremonies weakens the impact of the true milestones.

What's next? A major blowout each time junior makes it to the end of the fall semester without flunking out?

 

[snowwite]

Any chance for a get together that isn't a funeral is a bonus to me.

Amen

 

[sam_gordon]

I have an 8th grader right now. 8th grade graduation was canceled during COVID in my district and not brought back. Some of my fellow parents were livid and went to the school board where they found out that they had wanted to get rid of 8th grade graduation for a while now and COVID gave them the excuse. It’s not coming back. My DS doesn’t care, I don’t care (it’s 8th grade!!) but there are some very unhappy parents. We are a small district where the kids are in school together from K to 12th, they literally just move to the high school building. It’s not a big deal. But some of these parents…

No offense intended to parents who celebrate them, but I will never understand the concept of a 6th grade or 8th grade graduation. Yes I am old, I guess. It just feels like an extension of the "everyone must get a trophy" philosophy to treat ordinary academic progression as some huge milestone accomplishment.

Neither is remotely close to the significance of HS or college graduation. To feature all the pageantry of caps, gowns and stage ceremonies weakens the impact of the true milestones.

What's next? A major blowout each time junior makes it to the end of the fall semester without flunking out?

I'm curious. Why is a HS graduation so much more significant than a 6th or 8th grade graduation? I mean think about it, isn't a HS graduation as "expected" as an earlier grade? College I get, not everyone goes to college, so it's more of an "accomplishment", but for me, and it seems for others here, HS graduation is celebrated more than college.

Especially for those areas that transition buildings between elementary, middle, HS, and could be going to a larger building, combined with other elementary & middle schools, I don't get the hate against the younger "graduations".

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would think that neither of you are in the wrong here. You know him better than I do of course, but to the casual observer I doubt that it is just a "cash grab". I figure that some people like to throw parties and celebrate occasions more than others. There is no denying that him earning a masters degree is a big accomplishment. However, just having had a party 2 years ago (for the bachelors degree)... makes this kind of feel like they are being a bit "extra". These parties can be tiring and expensive, he just had one two years ago, and here we go again. Believe me, "I get it".

In my lifetime I lived through something similar. My ex-husband's niece is one of these (in my opinion) "excessive celebrators". You name it, there was a celebration for which gifts where expected and a 3 hour trip to her house to attend a party was required. As a bonus, we got to pay for a hotel because she always had her friends stay over at her house the night of the party.

I distinctly remember one year we had her "Masters Degree Party". She was a little older when she got her degree, maybe 30-ish. Oofda it was a big production as you could imagine. Not too long afterwards, I also earned a masters degree myself. I finished at the age of 37. I told my ex-husband that we should have a party for me like she did. He just kind of grunted. (for the record, the party for me never happened). I never even expected gifts or a cash-grab, maybe just a little recognition. I do remember we got into an argument over the term "NCATE vs in-state". I said something was NCATE accredited and he tried to stay I said "in-state". It is amazing how such a thing could lead to a big fight, but it did. I could go on about my feelings of resentment towards my ex-husband and his entire family, but that would be veering off topic and I do not think anybody is too interested in hearing about that right now

 

[DisneyHardin]

I'm curious. Why is a HS graduation so much more significant than a 6th or 8th grade graduation? I mean think about it, isn't a HS graduation as "expected" as an earlier grade?

I think of HS graduation as a celebration of 13 years of schooling completed. If you don't go on to college, then you have fully completed your formal education.

Although most people do graduate HS, it isn't 100% a guarantee that it is going to happen because you do have the ability to drop out and not finish without a consequence. If you tried to drop out of school before completing 5th or 8th grade, the truancy people would come looking for you.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm curious. Why is a HS graduation so much more significant than a 6th or 8th grade graduation? I mean think about it, isn't a HS graduation as "expected" as an earlier grade? College I get, not everyone goes to college, so it's more of an "accomplishment", but for me, and it seems for others here, HS graduation is celebrated more than college.

I think it's because HS graduation carries with it a component of being an "adult" now.

 

[Disneylover99]

I'm curious. Why is a HS graduation so much more significant than a 6th or 8th grade graduation? I mean think about it, isn't a HS graduation as "expected" as an earlier grade?

I view HS as the finale of expected education. So definitely a more important milestone to celebrate.

 

[sam_gordon]

A year or so ago while driving, I saw someone had written on their back window "Buy the bride a drink!" with a Venmo account listed. I snapped a picture, but can't find it now, either deleted it or it never got backed up.

That seems as tacky as sending a QR code to what amounts to a stranger IMO.

 

[hopemax]

I have an 8th grader right now. 8th grade graduation was canceled during COVID in my district and not brought back. Some of my fellow parents were livid and went to the school board where they found out that they had wanted to get rid of 8th grade graduation for a while now and COVID gave them the excuse. It’s not coming back. My DS doesn’t care, I don’t care (it’s 8th grade!!) but there are some very unhappy parents. We are a small district where the kids are in school together from K to 12th, they literally just move to the high school building. It’s not a big deal. But some of these parents…

No offense intended to parents who celebrate them, but I will never understand the concept of a 6th grade or 8th grade graduation. Yes I am old, I guess. It just feels like an extension of the "everyone must get a trophy" philosophy to treat ordinary academic progression as some huge milestone accomplishment.

Neither is remotely close to the significance of HS or college graduation. To feature all the pageantry of caps, gowns and stage ceremonies weakens the impact of the true milestones.

What's next? A major blowout each time junior makes it to the end of the fall semester without flunking out?

As I’ve understood it, 8th grade graduations aren’t new phenomenon. They are actually old, from the days when many students left school after 8th grade to become laborers. It’s only a post-WWII expectation that students would complete high school.

 

[Smugpugmug]

A year or so ago while driving, I saw someone had written on their back window "Buy the bride a drink!" with a Venmo account listed. I snapped a picture, but can't find it now, either deleted it or it never got backed up.

That seems as tacky as sending a QR code to what amounts to a stranger IMO.

I saw something like that last year when driving in the Orlando area except it was for paying for a bachelorette party's WDW trip. It made for a good laugh on the way to AKL. I wonder how many people actually gave them money.

 

[Moliphino]

I'm curious. Why is a HS graduation so much more significant than a 6th or 8th grade graduation? I mean think about it, isn't a HS graduation as "expected" as an earlier grade? College I get, not everyone goes to college, so it's more of an "accomplishment", but for me, and it seems for others here, HS graduation is celebrated more than college.

Especially for those areas that transition buildings between elementary, middle, HS, and could be going to a larger building, combined with other elementary & middle schools, I don't get the hate against the younger "graduations".

You need a high school diploma (or GED equivalent) for lots of jobs. So it does mean more than an 8th grade graduation.