Aspie Moms, what's the strangest phone call from school you've gotten?

[DisDreaminMom]

So I'm getting used to strange things from my son (6) who is an Aspie. He's so funny and so into things that others would deem strange. Last week, he was suposed to write a story about his favorite "special present". His was about the year Santa brought him nothing but fans of all sizes. It was 2 years ago, and he still remembers it like yesterday. "Santa" has learned not to waste money on toys that DS won't bother to play with. Unless he asks for it, it'll sit there in the corner. (This year it will be the Eiffel Tower and globes- we're branching out!)

Three weeks ago, he totally failed a school administered hearing test because it was the "tone" one. He passed the Dr's test with flying colors a month before because they gave him one that used pictures. I was urged to get him to a specialist right away. The kid can hear a candy wrapper across the house, and ignore someone talking right in front of him if he so chooses. The Dr. and I had a good chuckle over that one.

But the best so far is two days ago when the school guidance counselor called to ask me (very sheepishly so as not to offend, I suppose) if I was aware that my son thought he was a "very pretty girl named Kelly" and had been signing his name like that for the past week on all his schoolwork. He has been pretending to be a girl at least part of every day for the last three years. BUT he has also been a pink poodle, a 101 Dalmation, Giselle from Enchanted, Marie from Aristocats, , Ratatouille, a policeman, a bulldozer, and a car, etc. At least we got him to stop wearing girls clothing, I explained to her. She asked if there was "some biologic component" to this. I told her yes, there was- he has a brain with a huge imagination.

I wonder if the guidance counselor and the teachers were thinking of doing a parts check to maker sure we aren't chopping dear "Kelly"'s hair off and putting "her" in boy's clothes. Did anyone think to ASK him what he was doing, or were they all so freaked out that they just jumped to conclusions? The conversation was heading in that direction, if you get my drift. I told her to talk to him about it and call me back. Today is the day she will, so we'll see what DS has to say for himself.

Anyone want to make me fell better and tell me their stories? I mean, I have a sense of humor, but this is getting ridiculous...

 

[bookwormde]

I needed a good laugh

"She asked if there was "some biologic component" to this. I told her yes, there was- he has a brain with a huge imagination. "

thanks

bookwormde

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

DS has told me a couple of times he wants to be a girl. Usually it's after I've been watching some History Channel documentary on biblical times and he sees guys wandering around in robes. To him they look more like dresses. We have a Christmas story (birth of Christ) book and when we get to the bit about the shepards, he always goes, "Lookit..girlymen!".

 

[BeckyScott]

My first thought was that he'd watched a little too much Dr. Phil.

 

[bec_oakley]

Last year DS's teacher called me in to talk about his "lunchbox issues".

So far that week his lunchbox had been found

• in the garden
• in the toilet
• on the roof.

What was causing this misbehavior, she wondered. Had there been some change at home? Was he angry about something, and if so why was he taking it out on his lunchbox?

"Maybe his lunch sucked ...?" I offered.

On the drive home I tentatively brought up the subject with DS.

Me: "Honey, do you want a new lunchbox?"
(slightly moot question, since it had been in the toilet ...)

DS: "Nooooo Mummy! I love my lunchbox!"

Me: "Then why were you trying to get rid of it?"

DS: "I wasn't!"

Me: "Well why did you hide it in the garden?"

DS: "I was using it to hold my ants."

Me: "Okaaay. Well how did it end up in the toilet?"

DS: "I didn't want it to get lonely while I went to the toilet."

Me: "So you ... put it in?"

DS: "No, silly, I put it on top of the toilet so it could wait for me. But I
bumped it when I tried to flush. It only got a little bit wet."

Me: "Right. So if you love your lunchbox so much, why did you throw it on the roof?"

DS: "I was playing basketball with it. I missed."

 

[BeckyScott]

One thing DS does, and I haven't gotten a call from the school yet but I'm waiting... he turns in wierd stuff for homework.

Like this week he had a worksheet on poetry, writing couplets. Okay, do-able. But after they created their own couplet, they were supposed to draw a picture of it. Oh, don't ever ask my kid to draw a picture, off he goes and there's no stopping him. We ended up with a drawing of his older brother balancing on top of a tv set, on top of the entertainment set, the tv had rabbit ears and honestly I don't think he's ever seen a tv like that in real life, brother had a cartoon-bubble over him with screaming words, he was there holding a bullhorn, etc etc. Usually his drawings, no matter what they're of, involve nuclear explosions, rockets, and demolished buildings. I've often wondered what the teacher must think we do at home.

The last eval he had, they were running the WISC on him, and at some point they showed him a picture of a bicycle. This same child drags around a dictionary for fun. So that's what his brain pulled up. And when asked to identify the picture, he told them "It's a traditional mode of Chinese transportation." I think she counted it wrong.

 

[debbi801]

The main one I get is that DS (also 6) is insisting he is a wolf, won't stop crawling around on his hands and knees and keeps howling at the teacher. I can't tell you how many times we've explained to them that when he gets over-anxious, he retreats into wolf mode. (Last year, he was Buzz Lightyear).

Then, there are the calls about him insisting on cleaning off all the dried glue on all the Elmer's bottles before anyone can use the glue for work. Or the ones about him getting up from his desk picking up all the invisible-to-the-human-eye eraser shavings from people doing their work. Then, there are the ones where he goes to the bathroom and refuses to come out (again when he is over-anxious).

Fun times. It seems like no matter how much we try to explain and prepare the teachers, how ever much reading material we give them, they just don't get it.

He's getting observed next Wednesday by the special education division of the board of education to evaluate him for a possible transfer to a different school. We'll see what happens.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Oh thank you! I really appreciate this! These stories are cracking me up! I am on here reading when I should be getting ready to pick DS up from school to take him to dentist for fillings and a crown. Surprise, DH wimped out on taking him. When I was a kid, people used to tell me that strange things in my life build character. I always used to think, if I get any more character, I'll be a cartoon. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable in WDW? Glad you are here to make me feel like I'm not alone...(and I totally get the one about the lunchbox- except my son does it to the dog).

 

[bec_oakley]

(and I totally get the one about the lunchbox- except my son does it to the dog).

He keeps his ants in the dog?

 

[DisDreaminMom]

I honestly haven't had the heart to check. It's very possible. Might explain how the little buggers got in my house this summer.

By the way, DS went to dentist, and dentist started to explain to him about using the laughing gas mask. As soon as he said, "It'll make you feel like you're floating" I got totally excited. DS has been asking how he can "turn off gravity" for the last week. So we made lemonade from lemons and DS was so happy to finally get to feel like he was in outer space. After the work was done (crowns and several fillings) the dental tech came over to me and thanked me for bringing in my son that day because she had a horrible week and a few terrible children that morning and my son was the best patient she'd had in a while!

So I guess it's a matter of perspective, huh?

 

[bec_oakley]

That's really sweet Always nice to hear when they're the best at something

 

[buzz for boys]

I cant add anything to this at the moment im doubled over laughing - glad to see its not just my little treasure that tests the teacher

 

[BeckyScott]

As soon as he said, "It'll make you feel like you're floating" I got totally excited. DS has been asking how he can "turn off gravity" for the last week. So we made lemonade from lemons and DS was so happy to finally get to feel like he was in outer space.

My DS fell for that gas mask once. After that it was a no-go.

The last mess of work he had done, they had to give him general and do it as an outpatient surgery. He loved it, wants to go back. (for what, I don't know, he has 6 caps now, there's hardly anything left) Since we use the same hospital for several different things with him, now he always asks if he gets to go on "the bed ride". I told my DH if that's what he wanted, we'd buy a wagon and drag him around the house. It would be a whole lot cheaper, I thought Disney was expensive but "the bed ride" is definately the most expensive attraction he's been on!

 

[kaffinito]

These are too funny! I love having Aspie kids!

My most recent was during my youngest's informational meeting at his school with the Social Worker last month. She very seriously explained to us that John was drawing "inappropriately sexual pictures." Well, we were shocked at this news, until she showed us the drawing in question. It was of a Yeti that was hairy with a larger muscular chest. She thought that the muscular chest part of the drawing was of breasts, and that the drawing was of a naked woman!

Even after I explained it to her, she still threw a fit and insisted that it was of a sexual nature and not allowed in school. She then wanted to know what John was being exposed to at home in order to draw such sexual pictures. My comeback was "And what are you being exposed to that allows you to see such an innocent picture from an 8 year old as sexual?" She's still mad at me....

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Yeah, I'm loving the overt sex suspicion I have gotten from some people. I had a dear friend for many years, until a couple of months ago when she told me that she had been thinking about it and now she had a major problem with me. It seems she joined a new church and had recently decided that my allowing my son (in other words, not fist fighting him) to dress as a bride or a princess when he's pretending to be one (he's 6!) that I was perverted and "had sin in my heart".

No, I haven't talked to her since.

She told me during the same conversation that I should "shame" him into acting more like a boy. Because, you know, our ASD kids react so well to this sort of thing. Sarcasm, guilt, and innuendo are totally understood (not!)

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Oh, this is funny- you guys will like it.

This Spring, we are at the park on the playground. There is a double slide and my son is running up it (there wasn't anyone else around). Another little boy comes over and starts running up the next slide by my son. New boy looks at my son and says, smiling, "I'm going to beat you up!" as in "let's race up the slides". DS turns at me with a look of total fear and whispers loudly, "I want to leave now- that boy is going to beat me up!"

 

[kaffinito]

Too cute! I love that fact that they don't get it sometimes.

This happened last month. In order to get my youngest to go to bed on time, my ex told him that he would suffer from sleep deprivation and could die from it. Now he goes to bed right when his dad tells him too!

However, not getting it can backfire sometimes. I was being smart and already purchased all of John's Xmas gifts ahead of time. Then yesterday he came up with a plan to only ask Santa for two things, that way he could be sure of getting them. Now what do I do?!?!?

 

[Cheshire Figment]

On Christmas Day tell him that Santa was able to read his mind and knew what he really wanted.

But then no telling what will happen next year...

 

[kaffinito]

Thanks Cheshire Figment!

I can see how that one might backfire though - he takes things so literally that it make him a little paranoid! Can you just imagine kid with a fear of the all-seeing/ all-knowing Santa Claus?

 

[BeckyScott]

How about "Santa must have had some overstock in the warehouse?"